A/N: Here's another Miroku P.O.V. fic, continuing on with Guidelines on Getting a Woman to Bear Your Child. If you haven't read that one then I'm sure that you won't understand this fic.
I do not own Inuyasha nor will I ever.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Ah, hello there my friends! It is I: the seductive monk, Miroku! I'm here again to help you with any questions that I think you might want to be answered. I know, I know, why would you need answers when you're making babies? (Even I can't answer that.)
But here are some questions and answers just so you're prepared in every way to make your woman happy and willing to make you the father that you've always wanted to be! (And the animal, right? You sly dog!)
Question #1: I've searched the lands far and wide, but I can't find the woman I want to bear my children with. Is there a right girl for me?
Yes! Of course there is! But I think someone is being too picky for their own good! Tsk, tsk. You should lower your standards.
Example: You meet a girl and you think she's the right one but then you find out she's missing a toe!
WHO CARES? You like her don't you? Go for it! Go for the kill, man!
Question #2: My woman is always in the 'mood'. How do I get her to calm down?
How I wish I were you. I'm not allowed a single taste until we can kill an evil man who wishes to kill us. (Yes, very sad. Mourn for me, my guide-followers!) Enough about me, it's about you.
Well, maybe she wants to have your children and she's craving your gentle touch! Give her a taste of what she wants and if her hormones are still uncontrollable, then tell her to go take a dip in the ice-cold river. (Ice, ice baby!)
Question #3: The pick-up lines won't work. Is there any other advice you can tell me?
You mean they failed! The babies that work every time, don't work every time?
Nope, I won't accept that! You're not worthy of using pick-up lines. You should just… oops. Forgive me; I shouldn't insult you for not being able to master the art of pick-up lines.
Okay, I think the problem is that you aren't using them right or you're just telling really crappy ones.
Let me give you some more examples.
Example: Let's commit the perfect crime, I'll steal your heart, you'll steal mine. (That's a blushy!)
What's a girl like you not being with a guy like me?
Question #4: Making my woman jealous isn't working. She encourages me to talk to other women. How can I change that?
Who in their right mind would let the person they have grown to love so much do that?
Maybe she's testing your loyalty towards her? Yes! That's it. When you go off and try to make her jealous, she's probably at home with a big, scary weapon hidden away somewhere. (Ready to amputate a few lovely things, maybe?)
I'm positive that the solution should be to stop trying to make her jealous and go home to your wife. (She'll love you even more if you do that!)
Question #5: My woman can't have children, but I love her so much I can't leave her. What should I do?
Wow. Now there's a challenge! I like it. Anyway, you got yourself into one pickle. So what you could do is find a newly orphaned boy/girl/hanyou/demon/kitsune/etc. and adopt them. Unless you can't find a newly orphaned boy/girl/hanyou/demon/kitsune/etc. then… pray for a miracle or you could always just steal… never mind. (You don't want that on your shoulders now, do you?)
Question #6: I can't hide behind my woman because she hides behind me! How else can I make her feel needed?
Well, have her do other stuff women should do.
Example: Have her cook you a nice meal after a hard day's work. (Cause we all know that you're cooking is crap!)
Then thank her with letting her feel… satisfied. You dog, you!
Example: Tell her how lost you would be without her, but don't sound like you're too dependent on
her. (That's a no-no!)
Question #7: I found this girl that I really like but it turns out she's already married! How can I heal my broken heart?
I can't help you there buddy. All I can tell you is to leave her alone.
Tip: DO NOT TRY TO STEAL HER AWAY! (Unless you think it's okay to get beaten up to the pulp by her husband who wasn't suppose to learn about your rendezvous affair but then he suddenly barges in and goes in a blind rage.)
Put a band-aid on your broken heart and find another girl. (Do it for the sake of your future children!)
Tip: The 'broken heart' act can be used as a way to get to meet new women. Act sad and mope around, then the ladies will come to you! (Refer to Guidelines on Getting a Woman to Bear Your Child Step #7)
Question #8: I did the steps in your guide in a whole day! Am I moving to fast?
The faster the better in my opinion! You just completed about five to about six months of work in just twenty-four hours! Congratulations.
Remember: Get busy and stay busy for a long time!
I wouldn't be surprised if your women is already with child or you're another one is baking in the oven!
Question #9: I don't have a reason as to why I want a child. Can you help me?
What kind of question is that? Find a reason why you want to have a child and fast!
Example: Maybe you should try 'I'm-going-to-die-so-I-should-make-the-rest-of-my-life-unbe-frickin'-liveable!' act. (It's extremely sad, but it works!)
Question #10: My woman already has two children, but they're not mine! They're from her previous relationship and she says she doesn't want any more children. How can I change her mind?
Convince her, love her, do whatever it takes to make her want to bear your children! (Or you can always refer to Question #5)
Tip: Seduce her and knock her up without her knowledge! (You should already know what to do. Go in for kill!)
Tip: She might reconsider that thought if her children end up drowning in the river near your village. (That would be unfortunate!)
Well, now all of your questions have been answered and your wife/woman/women/etc. are satisfied with you and love you with all of their heart! Also, your child/children/baking-ovens/hanyou/demon/adopted/etc. could never ask for a better father!
Good luck on making those 10-20 babies!
You know our motto: Get busy and stay busy for a long time!
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A/N: Yes! The sort of sequel/continuation of Guidelines of Getting a Woman to Bear Your Child has been completed! Thanks for reading and please review. :)