Chocolate Melts (A different Point Of View)
A/n: A response story
A/n 2: Sometimes stuff sucks. I'm sorry I didn't understand that before, but now i find myself in quite a similar situation. Give me recipes for sorry, I'm admitting I'm wrong, these memories that are punching me have broken my bones. Communication is so utterly impossible now for I refuse to use myspace, though I know you do. I am using my own pathetic sedatives now. Please forgive me for these things that I'm not sure you know I did to you.
All my lust
Erin xoxo
T-T T-T T-T
Hermione could see that Ginny was drowning. It was rather obvious. "I think you have a choice to make." The words a jagged piece of glass cutting her heart into pathetic little bleeding shreds. But it had to be said.
Ginny was silent for a few moments. "...Choice?" Hermione knew that she was asking as a stall tactic, she knew what Hermione was asking of her. Anger surged through Hermione and her wordsonce again jagged edged glass. "Yeah. You don't like those much do you?" Her arms crossed over her chest, holding herself sturdy, for she knew what was coming.
Hermione had every right to be asking this question. The matter had been hanging over her for days... weeks, making her days overcast and dull. What hurt was that Ginny was stringing her along, shutting her out when both of them were painfully aware of what was coming. Rather than letting her in and letting her know what was happeining to her, Ginny pushed her farther and farther away until what they had once been was just a whisper, long gone, but not forgotten.
"What are you trying to say?" More stall tactics. Hermione couldn't bear it anymore. She couldn't stop herself from taking that deep, deep breathe and spitting the words that she wished she cold run from. They spilled from her mouth like acid, surely the air into which she spoke the words was burning. "If this... If this doesn't seem real to you then maybe… maybe you should end it."
"What if I don't want this to end!" She turned her eyes away from Ginny's. Disgusted to say the least at the childish and untrue display of desparate indignation. She seemed so genuine. Jesus it was hard not to believe her. Tears were threatening, but no, not in front of her, never in front of her.
Instead she uncrossed her arms and leaned against a wall. Her body language gave off nonchalance, she was a good actress, almost as good as Ginny. After a long pause she let out a shuddering breat she didnt know she had been holding. "It's really quite simple. Do you want me or not?" Might as well put that question that was burnign inside her heart to rest.
Tears beaten down only moments ago resurfaced at the breathless reply. "I want you." Hermione could see tha pain in her eyes. "I've always wanted you." She hated herself for it, but hated Ginny more. This still wasn't her making her choice, she had to make the choice. Hermione couldn't go on like this. Ginny had to. "Then, where's the choice?"
The glass was turned on Hermione now. "There's always a choice Hermione." Hermione bit back on the angered reply that was begging to be released. Begging to slide off of her tounge like more acid, why was everyhting burning? So long, the silence moved between them, an electric current waiting to strike the first one to slip up the almost polite arguement they were experiencing.
"Can't you stop?" God, was that her voice? So hoarse? Like she had been screaming? She tried again. "Can't you stop…" But the thought was undeveloped and she could not finishe her sentance. Ginny understood though.
"No." Ginny said firmly. She looked up. Almost pleading. God that face. How could she resist that face? "You're my addiction." Hermione's anger flared up once again. Addiction? Addiction was one thing Hermione was not content with being. Hermione stared daggars at Ginny, repulsion evident in her features. In the set of her lips and the narrowed effect of her eyes. "I don't believe in addictions."
Ginny looked as though she had been slapped. Tears, hot and salty traveled unchecked down Hermione's cheeks. How could she have fallen in love with such weakness? Was weakness contagious? God she felt weak as well.
"I do"
Hermione's control burts into a million shreds. "Then why is it so bloody hard to make a choice Ginny!" God this hurt too much. She couldn't do this again. She always fell for the ones who hurt. "It's not that simple" Ginny said. Why couldn't it be simple? WHy couldn't anything ever be simple? "…I can never just have what I want. I can never just choose."
Hermione registered the resolution coming off of Ginny. "I think you just did." Hermione nodded. Tears falling from her closed eyes. She took a deep breath, leaning her head against the wall. "Promise me that… we'll still be friends?" That's right, always playing the good girl, time for damage control. She could maybe fix this later. She could remind Ginny why she fell in love with her... she could... she couldn't do anything.
Ginny scoffed. That dryness building in her throat. The ache in her heart intensifying. "You know we can never be just friends, Hermione." She did know. Of course she knew. It was just something to say.
Hermione couldn't hold her thoughts back. Couldn't stop herself from moving forward. From pressing her lips to Ginny's. She couldn't hide the deperation in the kiss. SHe couldn't stop all of her passion moving from her moiuth into Ginny's. Begging her to see that this was how things should be. And now to drop the bomb. She didn't quite let Ginny press herself fast to her, but somehow it happened. Hermione's shuddering words came forth. "I won't be your plaything Ginny."
"Hermione" God it was scary when she sounded that way. So... sober... so sure. "Don't do this." But Hermione had to. She would never be able to live with herself if she didn't. Hermione pressed her lips against Ginny's once more. There were no words that could profess her feelings more than this kiss did. She pulled away and let her lips tempt Ginny, let them taunt her. Until Ginny finally yelled at her. Practically throwing her backward.
"Just leave. Now!" Hermione moved backward and away from Ginny slowly. Her steps sure and her knees weak from the pain that was tainting the blood that flowed from her broken heart. Ginny had finally made her choice and they would never be the same. "Leave!" Ginny screamed.
Hermione turned on her heel and never looked back.
One though pounded in her heart, body and mind. Kill me before I have to do it myself.
A/n: End of story