Rule 48. Uchiha are never nervous. When in tense situations, their palms do not become damp with perspiration nor does their heart rate increase.

Rule 49. Uchiha are always calm and poised.

Sasuke knew these and other rules of the Uchiha by heart. This was not simply a credit to his memory, since the rules had never been formally written down, but instead were passed from generation to generation, usually in the form of admonitions to their children to not ever dishonour the clan. And that for goodness sake, even if they had just been learning fire jutsu, there was no excuse for letting their hair look like that.

Unfortunately, he didn't know all the rules, due to a spot of unforeseen genocide. Only the first three hundred and twenty-three or so. He'd taken the liberty of adding new ones as he created them, bringing the number up by approximately two hundred and thirty-six, depending upon how you counted some of the clauses. As the only remaining Uchiha likely to be invited to parties, Sasuke felt even more strongly that the responsibility of living up to the high standards of his clan rested solely upon him.

Had an impartial observer known all of this, it is possible that they might have said something like, "Oh, that explains the stick up his ass, it's helping support the weight on his shoulders."

In retrospect, perhaps the observer was not entirely impartial.

At any rate, since Uchiha aren't nervous and are calm and collected, Uchiha Sasuke could stand in front of the Hokage's desk with none of the signs of distress or tension that visitors so commonly felt. Which was good, because he'd come to ask a favour.

He didn't consider it a favour, of course. As far as he was concerned, what he was asking was so reasonable, so obvious, and so necessary that it was only a wonder no one had suggested it ages ago.

But then, they weren't Uchiha.

Tsunade-sama looked bored but faintly curious. Sasuke had refused to tell his business to the guards or secretaries, instead repeating that he was head of the Uchiha clan, and that he was there on urgent, confidential, clan business.

"Tsunade-sama…" Sasuke began, bowing formally to the old hag.

"Sasuke-kun…" she smirked slightly. "What brings you here?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth at the pet name. He should by all rights be addressed as "Uchiha-san" if not "Uchiha-dono". But he had, he reminded himself, bigger fish to fry.

Rule 34. Uchiha always have an eye on the larger picture.

"I request that as clan head, I be allowed to leave the village in pursuit of the missing nin Uchiha Itachi, in order that I may kill him and thus avenge the honour of my clan."

"Ah." Tsunade-sama said. She didn't seem terribly surprised. Then again, it wasn't like he'd played the whole "planning to kill my brother" terribly close to the chest, and in a ninja village, people did tend to notice that sort of thing. "I see."

"The D level missions are infantile. My teammates are morons holding me back."

By now, Sasuke had said more words than the rest of Team Seven had cumulatively ever heard him say. But it was vital that Tsunade-sama realize how very important this was.

"I wish to leave tomorrow," he added, in a tone that suggested he was not so much asking as politely informing with a side of just-try-to-stop-me.

Sadly, the Uchiha had never bothered to write a rule about not being really polite to people who could make your life a living hell if they so chose. Primarily because it had never occurred to the clan that this would be an issue.

…which, really, tells you a lot about the clan.

Tsunade-sama rang a bell, which summoned a harried looking chuunin assistant. They whispered back and forth for a minute, before the assistant rushed back out. Tsunade-sama then smiled at Sasuke in a way that made tiny warning bells go off in the back of his head. "This will just take a minute."

Sasuke stood as still as he could manage, refusing to take his eyes off the Hokage. After what seemed like an eternity, the chuunin returned with an armful of scrolls, which she proceeded to dump on Tsunade's cluttered desk. "Will that be all, Hokage-sama?"

"That should be fine for now," Tsunade replied, waving her hand dismissively. "Go ahead and take your break." The chuunin bowed and vanished.

"Let's see here…" Tsunade said, grabbing the first few scrolls to glance through them. The third one seemed to be the one she really wanted, since she began pouring over it with an expression of intense concentration and occasional "hm" noises. "Unfortunately, Sasuke-kun…" she began, not taking her eyes off from the scroll, "you've never been officially recognized as clan head."

"A formality." Which it was, and they both knew it. The reason it hadn't been done is that Konoha's elders hadn't wanted to subject a traumatized eight year old to a ceremony reminding him that his father was dead and his elder brother gone. And after that… well, a ceremony making it official that he was in charge of himself hadn't been a huge priority in anyone's minds, even Sasuke's.

…well, until now, anyway. Stupid rules.

"Be that as it may, I'm afraid that it does complicate matters."

"So have one of your assistants bring in the paperwork, we can both sign it, and I'll be on my way."

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly do that. The investiture ceremony requires the presence of the heads of the other major Konoha clans, the council elders… we wouldn't, after all, want to dishonour the Uchiha by having a shoddy ceremony. I think there are even special robes…" Tsunade paused, tapping her fingernail against her chin. "We'd probably need to shorten those."

If Sasuke gritted his teeth any harder, he'd probably have broken them all.

"Look," he said. "What, exactly, do I have to do?"

It was so simple, really. He just needed to pop off for a bit, take a week or two of vacation, kill his brother, and then come back.

Tsunade looked at him.

He looked back at Tsunade.

Later, he would take some comfort in the fact that, after all, she was the Hokage, and it wasn't like he'd given in to just anyone.

"Please," he finally added, as the spirits of Uchiha past cried out in agony at the implied capituation.

Tsunade smiled. It wasn't, on the whole, a smile that made him feel a great deal better about anything. "Well, under the circumstances… your first priority is your brother and not the clan, is that right?"

"Yes."

"Then we might be able to… yes, I suppose… you'll have to apply for a Leave of Vengeance."

"A what?"

"Leave of Vengeance. Just pick up the paperwork at the desk on your way out, get it back to me, and I'm sure you'll be off hunting your brother in no time."

Rule 73. Uchiha do not visibly shiver, even when suddenly seized by a feeling of Unmistakable Doom.

Tsunade grinned in a way that showed all of her teeth. They were very white. "Now then. You've got a bit of work ahead of you, and I have to get started on my afternoon na… paperwork, so best be on your way."

"But…"

"Have a lovely day, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke had no choice but to bow and head out.

Still… it was just some forms to fill in. How bad could it be?