LBH: ONE REVIEW! OOOOOO-DE-LAAAAAAAAAAALLLY! …Er…/cough/ On with the last story!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing I say! Just my faithful green sweatshirt, which I love like a dear friend. I don't own any other mentioned books/games/movies etc. mentioned.

WARNING: I have no beta, unless you call my dinky little spell check a beta. Another warning for bad humor.

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A Collection of Three

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Story Three: Three Syllable Names

Orochimaru was depressed, a weird thing for an evil mastermind. Normally all angsting was left to Sasuke, not Orochimaru, the anime equivalent of Michael Jackson. (1) As to what our snake-man was brooding over, it happened to be his name.

It's not that it's a BAD name per-say; it was just the amount of syllables. He had two syllables too many. Now one may ask, what is wrong with this? His name was menacing enough; it certainly gave off his true snake like image… But it was still annoying. All the greats had three syllable names.

You may ask who the greats are; well I'll name some for you.

There were some obvious ones, like Sephiroth. He was great, powerful along with that beautiful hair, the lucky bastard… Voldemort, or You-Know-Who, the guy tried to kill all the non magic population and rule the world, not to mention he also had a noble bloodline involving snakes. Then the classic Darth Vader, killed the Jedi, became a Sith, blew up a great many things, not to mention the fact he had great lines like, "Luke, I am your father!" Hell, even Itachi and Kisame; Itachi's ever loyal fish man had three syllable names.

Not all the greats were dark though, Orochimaru had to remind himself. Tsunade, despite everything had killer strength and she was a truly great medic Nin…With three syllables in her name. Even that perverted hermit Jiraiya! Despite the fact he claimed to be a super-pervert (2) he was still a tough opponent.

Then there was that demon Shukaku, THREE SYLLABLES!

Well to be fair the Kyuubi didn't have a three syllable name but nooooo, no one cared about THAT! The damned thing could destroy mountains and cause tidal waves with a minor shake of only one of its tales! And even though Orochimaru was powerful in human standards, he still could not destroy mountains. He was not god, just a Michael Jackson wannabe…

And just thinking of the Kyuubi brought up the Yondaime. God forbid we ever know his ACTUAL NAME! The dude DIES sealing the Kyuubi, not even killing it but he is constantly hailed a hero! Oh yeah! Bow down to mister fire coat! Who honestly wore flame patterns anyway? His big stylish purple rope/bow thingy was SO much better than that stupid, flaming, white trench coat! Not to mention the fact that it still stung that they had chosen HIM as the Hokage instead of Orochimaru. Ch! Not right to protect the village indeed! HONESTLY! All he wanted to do was experiment of a few people, just a few! It was for the greater good, really it was. All he ever wanted to do was live forever, know EVERY justu there ever was, and rule a village of super strong mutant people who all obeyed him! Was THAT so much to ask fo-

"Orochimaru-sama? Are you alright? You seem to be turning a rather nice shade of puce…Or perhaps it's a mottled red…" Kabuto had entered the room.

Come to think of it…Kabuto had a three syllable name too…

Poor Kabuto's screams were heard all the way in Konoha…

Here Tsunade cursed and shut her window while taking a bottle of booze out from under her desk.

"Bah! Damn snake-bastard, still complaining about his name after forty years. You think the man would get over it!"

Taking a swig she settled down for a very long night of paperwork…

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END

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LBH:…It's over! Well I'm glad I finally got that done.

(1)You have to agree, the resemblance is scary…

(2) Hehe…Super-pervert. I got called that once at Kei's birthday party. I made her some Raspberry tea, and when the bag was put in it leaked red, so I said it was having its period. Not much, I know but for some reason I've been labeled the super pervert ever since. (Not bothering to mention all the questions I had about if there was a world record for bust sizes among…other things…I won't mention the rest…Yes I AM a girl. I just have no social life so I have to get my kicks somehow…)

R/R