A.N.-Ok so I was watching Romeo and Juliet you know the one that takes place in present day staring Leonardo Dicaprio and I got to thinking. Wouldnt it be great to write a story useing Shakespeare. Well I did oh and by the way if something is written in bold in the middle of the story that means its an author's note. Might be me just running my mouth or I actually have something important to say. Surprise Suprise. Then again I might just be translating Old English. Ok here we go.

Two households, both alike in dignity, Ok not really

In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, Actually more like hellish Sunnydale but keep going

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Once again not exactly

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. Can you give me an example of where it doesnt

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes And again I say not really

A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life, Its a love story

Whose misadventured piteous overthrows

Doth with their death bury their parents' strife. Breathe easy no is gonna die at least I dont think

The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, Once again NO DEATH

And the continuance of their parents' rage, Nope

Which, but their children's end, naught could remove, NO ONE IS DIEING

Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage. Actually I dont know how long this is gonna be

The which if you with patient ears attend, Now listen up
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend What I didnt make clear hear the story will

Mr. Giles walked through the auditorium doors, 'Oh I would give anything not to have to do this.' He walks straight down the aisle then onto the stage and turns to face the teenagers sitting in the auditorium filling the first 10 rows, "Alright can I please have your attention and we can get started." He sighs deeply as most of the students ignore him. He rips off a piece of paper from the clip board he is holding and tosses it at his nephew's head.

The boy whips around to face him, "What the bloody hell was that for?"

Mr. Giles takes off his glasses and cleans them on his handkerchief, "William please do sit down and shut the bleeding hell up. If its not to much trouble."

William sneers, "It's Spike."

"William I've changed your diapers don't take that tone with me."

Spike slumps down into his seat as his friends and most of the people in the auditorium laugh at his expense, "Bollocks."

"Thank you." Mr. Giles gives him a look of death, "Now if there are no more interruptions we can get started with the auditions for Romeo and Juliet." He looks down at his clipboard, "Lets see. Ah Darla would you be so kind as to start." Darla smirks and climbs up onto the stage taking a script from Mr. Giles. He goes and sits in the front row, "Why don't you take it from Act 2 Scene 5 along with," He glances down at his clipboard again, "Elizabeth would you be so kind."

Everyone looks around the auditorium and Spike leans over to Angelus, "Who the bloody hell is Elizabeth."

Angelus shakes his head, "Hell if I know."

A small blonde sitting alone stands and makes her way to the front of the auditorium. She takes a script from Mr. Giles and climbs onto the stage.

Spike sneers, "Darla is going to eat her for breakfast."

Mr. Giles looks up at the two girls, "Buffy please read for Juliet and Darla read for the Nurse."

Darla looks up at Giles outraged, "What! Read for the Nurse I am the lead in the school play every single year. I'm not going to read for the Nurse."

Mr. Giles' gaze hardens, "Darla the reading is just to test your acting abilities no either read the part I have asked you to or step down immediately."

Darla pouts and turns to Elizabeth, "Fine. Well new girl lets get started and try not to mess up." She stalks over to the edge over the stage.

Elizabeth as Juliet: The clock struck nine when I did send Nurse.

In half an hour she promised to return.

Perchance she cannot meet him. That's not so.

O, she is lame! Love's heralds should be thoughts,

Which ten times faster glide than the sun's beams,

Driving back shadows over louring hills.

Therefore do nimble-pinioned doves draw Love,

And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.

Now is the sun upon the highmost hill

Of this day's journey, and from nine till twelve

Is three long hours, yet she is not come.

Had she affections and warm youthful blood,

She would be as swift in motion as a ball.

My words would bandy her to my sweet love,

And his to me.

But old folks, many feign as they were dead,

Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.

Darla as Nurse enters

O God, she comes! O honey Nurse, what news?

Hast thou met with him?

Now, good sweet Nurse—O Lord, why look'st thou sad?

Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily.

If good, thou shame'st the music of sweet news

By playing it to me with so sour a face.

Darla as Nurse: I am aweary, give me leave awhile.

Fie, how my bones ache! What a jaunt have I had!

Elizabeth as Juliet: I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news.

Nay, come, I pray thee, speak! Good, good Nurse, speak!

Darla as Nurse: Jesu, what haste! Can you not stay awhile?
Do you not see that I am out of breath?

Elizabeth as Juliet: How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath

To say to me that thou art out of breath?

The excuse that thou dost make in this delay

Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.

Is thy news good, or bad? Answer to that!

Say either, and I'll stay the circumstance!

Let me be satisfied: is't good or bad?

Darla as Nurse: Well, you have made a simple choice! You know not

how to choose a man. Romeo? No, not he! Though

his face be better than any man's, yet his leg excels

all men's, and for a hand and a foot and a body,

though they be not to be talked on, yet they are

past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy,

but I'll warrant him as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways,

wench, serve God. What, have you dined at home?

Elizabeth as Juliet: No, no. But all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? What of that?

Darla as Nurse: Lord, how my head aches! What a head have I!

It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.

My back, o' th' other side! O, my back, my back!

Beshrew your heart for sending me about

To catch my death with jaunting up and down!

Elizabeth as Juliet: I' faith, I am sorry that thou art not well.
Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse, tell me, what says my love?

Darla as Nurse: Your love says, like an honest gentleman, and a courteous,

and a kind, and a handsome, and, I warrant, a virtuous—

Where is your mother?

Elizabeth as Juliet: Where is my mother? Why, she is within.

Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest!

"Your love says, like an honest gentleman,

'Where is your mother?'"

Darla as Nurse: O God's lady dear!

Are you so hot? Marry, come up, I trow.

Is this the poultice for my aching bones?

Henceforward do your messages yourself.

Elizabeth as Juliet: Here's such a coil! Come, what says Romeo?

Darla as Nurse: Have you got leave to go to shrift today?

Elizabeth as Juliet: I have.

Darla as Nurse: Then hie you hence to Friar Lawrence' cell.

There stays a husband to make you a wife!

Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks;

They'll be in scarlet straight at any news.

Hie you to church. I must another way

To fetch a ladder, by the which your love

Must climb a bird's nest soon when it is dark.

I am the drudge and toil in your delight,

But you shall bear the burden soon at night!

Go! I'll to dinner. Hie you to the cell!

Elizabeth as Juliet: Hie to high fortune, honest Nurse. Farewell!

While Darla read straight from the script and spoke in a bored tone Elizabeth did not look at her script once and through herself into the role. To everyone in the auditorium save for Darla it appeared that they had found their Juliet.

A.N.- Reviews make me want to post more.