Any Better?

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean: Till the End of Time or Lloyd Irving of Tales of Symphonia. It belongs to Tri-Ace and Namco respectively.

The inky darkness of space stretched for light years. The only source of light was the distant stars. A small diplomatic ship meandered through the empty cosmos, unsure of its destination. Behind it was the planet Styx, the home of the Time Gate and entrance to 4-D space. Having finished up business there, the occupants of the Diplo were planning their next move.

Inside his cabin, a blue-haired teen was sitting at a laptop. His emerald green eyes were fixed onto the screen, glazed over from sheer boredom. His gloved hand sluggishly moved the mouse, occasionally clicking a button. The 4-D space Internet was dull to say in the least. He managed to ask his friend Sophia to use her power of Connection to transmit a contact with 4-D space onto his laptop. It took a while but she finally got the hang of it and succeeded. Fayt was excited to see what the Internet had to offer but found nothing of interest.

After a couple hours of mindless browsing, Fayt wandered to a strange link. "Huh? He remembered there was a site similar to this. It was an archive of fan made stories about their favorite movies and games. Without hesitation, he clicked on the site. Some more searching yielded a link to a category called "Star Ocean". He didn't know why but there was something strange about it. Feeling curious, he opened it and was shocked about what he saw.

The story summary completely surprised him. It was titled "True Lurve" and the summary said "The evil Sophia had poor Fayt in her evil clutches. On the day of their wedding, a certain Glyphian warrior steps in…Albel/Fayt yaoi! Lemony goodness!" Fayt stared at the screen for a long time. He knew that the people of 4-D space watched their every move and controlled them but…what in the name of the Eternal Sphere was this! Even though he was disturbed, his curiosity bugged him into taking a peek.

About five chapters into the story, Fayt could feel his stomach lurching. Sweat was starting to form on his brow and his face was beet red. His mouth was hanging open and drool began to drip down. It wasn't that he was aroused by it, Fayt's mouth is stuck in that position and the saliva was building up. Somehow, the author was able to fit in a sex scene with him and Albel in excruciating detail in every chapter. Hell, one of the chapters was just that: an elaborate sex scene filled with a lot of screaming, moaning, sweat, and "lemony goodness". The rest of the fanfiction talked about how evil Sophia was and a tiny bit of plot advancement. Was there plot advancement? Fayt couldn't tell, he was too shocked and horrified by all of the descriptions of him being ridden on like a horse from the Airyglyph native.

When it was lights out, Fayt had finished reading that "amazing" fanfiction. It ended by Sophia somehow spontaneously combusting because of a lousy casting of Explosion and the two "lovers" lived happily ever after (with more sex scenes). Vowing never to read any more of those fanfictions, Fayt shut off his laptop and got ready to sleep. As he drifted off into a deep slumber, a question remained. Can you really spontaneously combust from a botched casting of Explosion?

It was a clear sunny day in Peterny. Birds were singing and the people were going on with their business. Fayt and Sophia were seated on a bench, chatting about their adventure so far. In his mind, Fayt thought it was too perfect. Here he was sitting with his childhood friend, not worrying about the upcoming battle with Luther. He was so occupied with talking to Sophia that he didn't notice a lurking figure in the shadows.

"Hey Fayt! Let's go over to the workshop and make something to eat!" Sophia said. The swordsman got up from his seat and was about to leave when he saw the mysterious figure. "Who's there!" he yelled at the shadow. Without warning, a man with black-blonde hair and a menacing claw jumped out with a katana in his good hand. "A-Albel!" Fayt stuttered. The memory of what he read caused the swordsman to blush furiously. Sophia, frightened by the Glyphian suddenly jumping out, fell on her butt. "What's going on?"

Feral red eyes glared angrily at the girl. In a strange Asian accent, Albel yelled at Sophia while advancing with his Crimson Scourge. "You evil! Fayt mine! Worm! Maggot! Fool! Wench!" With a cry of something eerily similar to Japanese, Albel stabbed Sophia through the heart. Fayt watched his best friend die before his very eyes. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed at the sky. Tears streamed from his eyes like the blood from Sophia's dead body.

Albel removed the Crimson Scourge from the girl's body, humming a bland tune. Fayt glared angrily at him, tears shining on his face. "Why! Why did you do it!" The Glyphian hooked his claw into Fayt's shirt. "You mine. Wench evil. Worm! Maggot! Fool! Aquarian scum!" The claw began tearing into the cloth. A wild grin formed on Albel's face. "I demand satisfaction! Sex me up!" That caused the swordsman to turn and run.

Because Albel's claw had attached itself onto Fayt's shirt, the blue-haired swordsman didn't get far. Amused red eyes scanned Fayt from head to toe, liking what it sees. The tug-of-war between Fayt and Albel's claw finally caused the shirt to tear into two. This caught the Glyphian off guard and gave Fayt the chance to escape. The swordsman darted to East Peterny with Albel close behind.

Thinking quickly, Fayt charged into Ameena's now vacant house. Albel never knew Ameena let alone where she lived so he was safe for now. The swordsman walked around the empty home, sighing heavily as he went. Ameena went to see her childhood friend…only to have him die in her arms. 'At least she's with him now…' Fayt thought.

Strange groaning noises interrupted his thoughts. 'Oh no! This place is haunted! It's the vengeful spirit of Ameena! I bet she hated me mistaking her for Sophia!' the swordsman thought. Despite the fact that Ameena probably didn't have a reason for haunting her house, Fayt began to panic. The groaning noises were closest to a cabinet by the door. The swordsman kneeled down before the furniture. "Don't haunt me Ameena! I'm sorry for calling you Sophia!"

The cabinet opened up to reveal…Cliff Fittir, the Klausian and ex-leader of Quark. A big goofy smile was on the Klausian's face. "Hi Fayt! What's the haps?" The grin was countered by a scowl. Fayt pointed at Cliff with an accusing finger. "You! I was bowing to you! Damn Klausians! If I could control my Destruction gene…you're history…" The grin disappeared and reformed into a grimace. "That's just plain racist right there…oh yeah. I got you a gift."

The Klausian went back into the cabinet. Before Fayt could close it, Cliff came back holding a bride's dress. "Here." "What am I supposed to do with this?" Fayt questioned. "For wedding! Maggot!" Albel popped out from behind Cliff wearing a suit. "I plan everything! Worm!" If looks can kill, Cliff and Albel would've been melted in an instant. With no hesitation, Fayt turned and broke into a mad dash for the exit. Unfortunately, battle mechanics do not apply so Cliff was faster than Fayt and caught him a minute later.

On wedding day, Fayt was tied to a chair while Albel leered at him…with love. It was a strange sight to behold. The captain of the Black Brigade was dressed in a suit with the left sleeve torn off to accommodate the claw and making lovesick faces at the embodiment of destruction in a white bride dress. Cliff, dressed in a priest's outfit, was frowning. "But I'm atheist…" Mirage, the other Klausian, shoved Cliff to the "happy" couple.

Fayt stared out at the crowd. There weren't too many people. All he saw was Mirage, Maria, Nel, Tynave, Farleen, Claire, and some old guy. Roger was the ring bearer and Peppita was the flower girl. As for Sophia…her funeral was tomorrow. Bless that dear girl's soul. He couldn't help it but Fayt stared at the old man. "Who are you?" Claire blinked. "This is my dad Adray. I thought you two met…" "I never seen him in my life!" Fayt declared. The old man pulled out his eternally sheathed katana and banged it against the seat in front of him. "Looks like someone doesn't have the Director's Cut!" Nel, the person that was sitting in the seat Adray hit, cast a Fire Bolt to set the old man on fire. Again, battle mechanics do not apply so Adray took a lot of damage. Claire went to go find water for her crispy father.

After healing third degree burns, Cliff began reading from a pamphlet that conveniently had everything he needed to say. "We are gathered here today…Albel and Fayt love each other…love forever until one croaks…whatever. Just say I do. I'm missing the Jerry Springer show." "I do!" Albel announced. Fayt was about to protest when Albel took out a tape recorder and covered the swordsman's mouth. With a press of a button, Fayt's voice played on the recorder. "I do—" Albel cut it short but it delivered the same message. Cliff tossed the pamphlet aside and took off the priest outfit, wearing his regular clothes underneath. "You're married! Now for the after party!" With a large grin, Albel closed in for the kiss.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fayt woke up in a cold sweat. He looked around. The room was dark but it was his room. "Phew…I thought I married Albel and Sophia died…" A claw began caressing his back. "What's wrong honey?" The swordsman looked down to find Albel lying on the bed naked. "Were you dreaming about me? I need to know!" he said in a not Asian voice. Fayt looked down to find himself naked as well. A second later, Cliff barged into the room wearing a black suit. "Hurry up you two! Sophia's funeral is in five minutes!" On the other side of the room, a teen dressed in red and suspenders was holding a sign that read "Fayt Leingod sucks, Lloyd Irving rules". "I own you Fayt Leingod!" Another piercing scream erupted from the swordsman.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fayt woke up…again. This time, he felt around for a certain Glyphian. No one was there. He looked down to see he was fully dressed. Fayt peered over at the dark corner of his room. There was no one holding a sign. He breathed out a sigh of relief and headed to the bridge. On the bridge, everyone was gathered there. Fayt ran up to Sophia and hugged her tightly. "Sophia! You're not dead!" The girl blinked out of confusion. "Uh…Fayt? Are you okay?"

Nearby, Albel stuck out his tongue. "Ew…displays of affection. Useless worms." Fayt turned to the Glyphian and hugged him. "Yes! You don't love me!" The Glyphian shoved Fayt down. "What the hell are you going on about! Why would I like a maggot like you!" Maria crossed her arms. "Are you done now? If we don't have any more distractions…" She was cut off by Roger running into the room with a wide grin. "Guess what Albel likes! He has blue hair, uses a sword, and is cuddly!" Fayt began to sweat and panic. His fears were unfounded when Roger pulled from behind his back…a blue teddy bear with a toy katana attached. "So you did keep that plushy I gave you!" Sophia said. With a roar, Albel threw his Crimson Scourge at the Menodix like a javelin. For the rest of the day, death threats and taunting could be heard throughout the corridors of the Diplo.

Read and Review. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.