Comments in chapter 1
Chapter 14
Mouth on mouth. Discomfort and panting. No control... no control. Being lifted from the ground. Being lay down on the bed.
Darkness... lots of darkness. Swirling patterns across a motel bedroom. Eyes. Blue eyes leering down.. Growler! Hands wandering across legs, moving upwards. Crushing weight of another body on top of her. Warm breath on her neck, light kisses down her throat. What was going on? Scully panicked as she felt Growler take her top off and then her world went dark...had she? did they? The face of Growler appeared in front of her face, most of his face was covered by shadow. Pain lots of pain, a crunch...
Mulder watched as his partner wriggled in her sleep, a pained expression was spread across her face. He moved from his bed to the chair next to her and grabbed hold of a flailing hand. He rubbed his thumb across her soft skin and squeezed. "It's ok, Scully. It's ok."
Scully opened her eyes and took a huge intake of breath. It took her a few moments to figure out where she was. She sighed, she was safe. She pulled her hand away from Mulder and wiped away the stray tears which had poured from her eyes. She avoided the worried gaze of her partner and wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead.
"You ok?" Mulder was watching her with an intense curiosity. Whatever she had dreamt about had obviously scared her.
"I'm fine, Mulder." Scully looked down at her hand and tried not to look at him, to look into those deep hazel eyes.
Mulder sighed, the drug had gone and she was back to her usual protective self. "You were having a nightmare...was it about Growler?"
Scully shifted uncomfortably in her bed. "It was nothing, just drop it."
Mulder could see it was making her uncomfortable talking about it so he tried to change subject. "About before, I never got to finish what I was saying, and I think you need to know." Scully fiddled with the key ring in her hand, still avoiding him. Mulder reached out and took her hand. "Seriously, Scully, I do think we need to talk."
Scully didn't look up at Mulder. "I know we do...but I don't want to now."
"No, Scully, now. Things need to be out in the open." Mulder laced his fingers in hers and put his finger under her chin to bring her face to his. "Something clicked inside me, Scully, about you, about us. Scully I need you to listen to this, ok? When you were gone I realized how much you mean to me. It's more then you being my partner or best friend, its what you really do mean to me. When I found a body in that warehouse and there was a possibility that it was you, I felt my heart rip from my body at the thought of you lying there," he paused when he saw she was still not looking at him. "I'm so bad at this."
Scully felt his hand loosen on hers as if he were to pull away, but she maintained her grip on him. This was hard for both of them.
"Scully...what I'm trying to say is...I love you. You are my everything. You keep me sane and you follow me even when you don't believe in what we are pursuing. You mean the world to me and when Growler took you it felt like Sam all over again, but differently." He kissed her knuckles lightly. "Promise me that you will never leave me again."
Scully's eyes had filled with tears and were threatening to roll down her face. "I promise, Mulder."
"Oh Scully... I love you so much." Mulder felt her grip strengthen on his hand, the warmness of her touch making him feel warm all over. She was the one that made him whole.
"Mulder…"
"Oh, Dana." A new voice had entered the room and Mrs. Scully rushed over to her daughter briefly followed by Skinner. "How are you feeling?" Mrs. Scully took hold of her daughter's other hand,
clinging onto her as if she was about to be pulled away from her.
Scully wiped the unshed tears from her eyes and quickly looked at Mulder who just smiled and stood up. "I'm fine, Mom."
Mulder saw that the two women needed to talk. "I'll leave you to it."
"You don't have to, Mulder." Scully's eyes pleaded with him. She wanted the warmth of his presence and the reassuring feeling that he always gave. Her eyes gazed up at him, and he smiled in response, the warmness of his eyes making her feel so safe. She moved her eyes back down to her mother and she could see the cold hard stare that was emanating from her mother's eyes towards Mulder. "I would rather you stay."
Mulder shook his head, that smile still stuck on his face. "I need the restroom anyway. I'll leave you two to talk." Mulder grinned and followed Skinner from the room.
"Agent Mulder." Skinner eyed him nervously.
"You heard didn't you?" Mulder's grin washed away from his face like chalk in the rain.
"Yes I did, as did Mrs. Scully. She is going to be a bit cold with you for a while I think. She most likely blames you for what happened to Scully. That is the impression I got on the way over here."
Mulder hung his head. "I meant it though, sir. I know that it means we can't work together now. I know how the Bureau stands on such matters." Mulder hadn't wanted this to happen. He didn't know how he would cope without Scully there to back him up.
They would have to work something out.
"Mulder, what the Bureau doesn't know won't hurt them. As far as I'm concerned you two love each other and you make a great team.
You can't help who you love, and I don't know what that woman sees in you but she loves you and would follow you to the end of the earth. I'm not going to stop you two working together…but…if anything does come from this I want it to stay out of the office,
ok?" Skinner smiled lightly and gave Mulder a reassuring slap on the back.
"I doubt anything will come from this, sir. I just had to tell her how much she means to me." Mulder hung his head and bit his lip. Would she ever really love him back?
"Don't be so sure, Mulder, don't be so sure. Well I have to go. I'll be back later on. I'm sure Mrs. Scully will come round eventually."
"To me loving her daughter? Or me nearly getting her daughter killed?"
"Maybe both." Skinner nodded at Mulder and turned and left, leaving Mulder outside wondering what he could do with himself for a while as mother and daughter talked.
Scully sat watching as her mother rearranged the room. She was nervous, Scully could tell. "Mom what's wrong?"
Mrs. Scully turned to her daughter and her face was cold and hard,
it was far from her usual loving and caring features. "Why Dana?
Why is it always you lying here? It was his fault wasn't it?"
Scully watched as her mother returned to tidying the room. "This is not Mulder's fault mother. It's my own fault that I'm here...so don't."
"What!?! blame him!! Dana that man is more like a son to me then anything but he always seems to lead you into dangerous situations...and you… you follow him like a lost sheep!!" Mrs. Scully's eyes had filled with tears and she stood herself at the window, peering out into the sky.
"I can't believe you sometimes, I really can't." Scully rubbed the key ring between her fingers, it had now become something of a comfort. There was a pause between the two women and Scully just thought about how much Mulder meant to her. He loved her,
and she loved him. Scully sighed, she wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, she had been for years. She had fallen in love with her partner after working with him over time, he was her everything, she loved him. But now, after all this, how could he love her back?
"Dana...I love you more then anything, and it hurts me to see you in this state!! Have you seen yourself? You're hardly recognisable. Your face is swollen beyond belief…and your nose. Oh, Dana, you are in such a state!"
"I'm fine, Mom." Scully really hated her mum getting upset. The years had been cruel to both of them, and Scully knew what she must be going through.
"Like hell you are!!" Mrs. Scully's hand came to her mouth and her eyes grew wide, tears flowed down her face and she sat herself hard on Mulder's bed.
"Oh, Mom don't cry!" Scully attempted to get out of the bed but her mother was quick to react and pinned her down.
"No, you stay in this bed," she sniffed. "Seriously, Dana, how long can you carry on with this? Your life always seems to be in jeopardy and I-I can't take that anymore. Why do you do it?"
Scully froze, the usual flow of arguments that she conjured when people questioned her about her job were gone. She looked away. A feeling of strong puzzlement crossed her mind,
and she sighed. Now, after all this, there seemed to be something restricting her path. She didn't know why she did it anymore. She had betrayed Mulder, the very reason she did what she did. The justifications she had always had and thought of when people questioned her work, her path and quest, were gone like a whisper in the wind. She looked down at the key ring in her hand and she felt her throat constrict and her eyes glaze over with tears. She had no reasons. None.
"You know I don't want to see you get hurt. You are my little girl. My only girl. Dana, look, I know it's your job and you do it because of that…and him. But, I think there is a limit."
Scully felt the tears that had washed her eyes fall down her cheeks.
Apart from this case, it was always for him and his quest. Always.
What could she do now she had crossed that line and betrayed him?
She lifted her hand up to her eyes and wiped the tears away. "I know there is, Mom."
"Mulder should have looked after you. It is his fault that you are lying here, I know it is."
"No, Mom, it was my fault." Scully lifted her gaze to her mother,
her voice barely a whisper, but the words were strong and full of purpose. "It was my fault. I wasn't careful and in the end it was me that got Mulder hurt."
"Well, I am sure that he had something to do with it. He could have watched your back more, kept you safe." Mrs. Scully played around with the covers of Scully's bed.
Scully took her mother's hand and squeezed it. "Mom, look at me.
I am telling you this now, so listen. It was my fault. I don't want you putting the blame anywhere else but here, on me. I betrayed Mulder, and in the end I got him into trouble. If it wasn't for me, none of us would be here right now."
Mrs. Scully looked at the clarity in her daughter's eyes, the seriousness and strength. She could see that it truly had nothing to do with Mulder, and suddenly Mrs. Scully was filled with regret at the way she had treated Mulder. She nodded.
"Ok," she paused, "but, dear, how could you betray him?"
Scully felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She averted her gaze from her mother's and shook her head. "Lets not talk about it.
I'm tired, I think I will try rest now."
Mrs. Scully looked at her daughter, she didn't understand what she had meant but she couldn't push her. "Ok, dear, I'll go wait outside."
"Mom, could you stay up here with me?" Scully took her mother's hand, she knew that her mom would keep her safe. All she really wanted was to feel safe and warm. All she wanted to do was forget.
"Of course, dear." Mrs. Scully wrapped her arms gently around her daughter, keeping away from the damage that had been caused. Scully could feel that warmth coming from her mother and she sunk into her mother's grasp. Mrs. Scully ran her hands though her daughter's hair and she felt Scully's breathe slow and calm. Thoughts came running back to her from when her daughter was a child, when something was worrying her she always wanted her to do this. She must feel protected in her arms, and it was nice.
There was a light knock on the door and Mulder walked in.
"Oh sorry," he whispered. He looked down at his sleeping partner and his heart melted, she looked so beautiful and peaceful. "I'll come back later."
Mrs. Scully could feel the regret spring back again and she knew she had to apologise for her behaviour.
" Fox," Mrs. Scully whispered. "I'm sorry."
Mulder closed the door silently behind him. "What for? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I was cold to you earlier and I really shouldn't have been. I know how much my daughter means to you."
Mulder blushed slightly. "It's ok. I shouldn't have left her…we should have stopped in the case."
"No, she is far too devoted to her work. She says it's all her fault, she says she betrayed you, Fox, what does that mean?"
Mulder shrugged, unsure of what she meant himself. "I don't know. Mrs. Scully, your daughter could never do anything that would make me disappointed in her. She is such a wonderful woman. She is strong and always there when I need her."
Mrs. Scully nodded her head and Scully began to stir in her arms. She raised her finger for silence and Scully just snuggled herself back into her mothers arms. "Fox, I think you should stay here, I need to go sort my hotel room out."
Mulder nodded his head and slowly made his way over the other side of the room. "Ok, I will sit on my bed and wait for you to come back."
"No, Fox. Something is worrying her. She finds comfort in someone being with her when she sleeps. Someone she trusts. Would you sit where I am now?"
Mulder gulped, "Sure."
Mrs. Scully nodded and Mulder came to the side in which she was on. The transition was very quick and Scully didn't seem to notice. Mulder leaned in close to her and her arm wrapped tightly round his back and her head went to his chest. Mrs. Scully nodded and smiled and then dismissed herself. Mulder gulped as Scully's body came closer to him, her body snuggled deeply into his. He rested his head back onto a pillow and the warmth from Scully's body and the covers made his head fill with a sleepy haze. Soon, even he was sleeping, feeling safe in her arms.