A/N wow I reached 200 that's amazing.

If you like these rules the read Weasley top Twenty Tips to Survive Hogwarts it is based of of this list.

147). I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

148) I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

149) I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.

150) I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

151) I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

152) I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

153) There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

154) Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as "Admiral Naismith".

155) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

156) I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

157) I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

158) I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

159) I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

160) I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".

161) I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.

162) The Malfoys are not Draka.

163) It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

164) I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

165) I am not the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.

166) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

167) It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

168) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.

-Charming the label does not change anything

169) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.

-Even if I brought enough for everyone.

-Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.

170) Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

171) The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

172) The fat lady is not possessed by the ghost of Lady Macbeth.

173) Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

174) Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

-Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

175)Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

176) House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

177) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

178) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

179) I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

180) House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

181) Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

182) My wand does not vibrate.

183) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin house mascot

184) After the last unfortunate experience, I will not take the Hogwarts house-elves to see "Dumbo" as their Christmas treat. Furthermore, I will remember to put trampolines below the Astronomy Tower in case I momentarily overlook the first part of this resolution.

185) I will not spread rumours around Death Eater circles that actually Lord Voldemort's mother survived childbirth and enjoyed a long covert career in the Muggle world as the Honourable Member for Finchley.

186) I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever gone into heat.

187) I must not spread rumours that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's bitch."

188) The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

189) I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.

190) I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

191) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

192) I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.

193) I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

194) I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

196) I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

197) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

-Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

198) Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

199) Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.

200) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.