Swann's Note: Heya! Sorry 'bout the long update…this chappie took me AGES to finish. Hope that you like it, it's not my best, and I'm planning on re-writing it 'cuz it's so short. Once again, MANY thanks to my wonderful beta, Fly Like A Blueberry Pie. Go check out her fics….they're wonderful! Also, apoligizing PROFUSELY about last chapter's complete mess-up in formating...hope that it didn't bother you too much.

Disclaimer: You really have to rub it in, don't you? For the record, I don't own it. Never have, most likely never will. God knows that EVIL things would happen if I did…Mwahahahahahahah-! (coughchokesplutter) I REALLY gotta work on that evil laugh…

"Jack, Will, Elizabeth…I need you to cook dinner." Em said, picking up her purse and keys as she began to walk out the door, "Supplies are in the fridge…cook anything you want, just make sure it's somewhat…edible. It needs to be done by seven, when my parents get home. Use the phone and dial this number-" She gave Will a small piece of paper with her cell phone number on it, "-When you're done. They'll be back at seven o'clock sharp, got it?"

"Erm…Em…where are you going?" Elizabeth asked, fidgeting nervously.

"Down to meet my friends at the restaurant I took you guys to…then shopping. I'll be back in a while, don't worry…just be careful and stay out of sight!"

And with that, the poor pirate's slightest hope for any type of help disappeared as Em walked out the door.

"So…anyone know how to cook?" Jack asked, looking at them

"Of course! We'll fix something up in no time." Will said, tying back his hair and opening up the freezer, "What do you think I ate all those years in the blacksmith shop?"

"…And then I believe that you blend it on high. Suppose this is the blender, then?" Will asked, poking the blender curiously.

"Guess so, mate." Jack said from where he was at the ironing board. He was in the process of pressing grilled cheese sandwiches with the iron.

"So…I suppose that we can blend the mashed potatoes without a lid, then?" Elizabeth asked, looking at the mashed potatoes that were sitting in the blender suspiciously.

"'Course you can!" Jack said cheerily, whipping off his flowery apron with a flourish (Will had an apron with hearts on it…Elizabeth got a normal white one.)

"You sure it won't…blow up the kitchen, or something?" Will asked, looking at it skeptically.

"Positive. Turn it on!" Jack gestured to the blender, which Elizabeth cautiously approached as Jack returned to the ironing of the grilled cheese sandwiches.

She pressed the button.

And they were showered by mashed potatoes.

"Bloody…stupid..ARGH!" Jack shouted, dropping the iron on his bare hand as he attempted to duck for cover. The iron went flying as he threw it over his shoulder, coming unplugged, landing on Will's bare forearm.

"AAAHHH!" Will screamed, the pitch rising as he tossed it out of his hands and mashed potatoes splattered on his face.

"Turn…the bloody….thing…OFF!" Jack shouted, his words slightly muffled as he ducked half-way into the pantry to avoid the demonic flying potatoes.

"Well, I can't reach it!" Elizabeth shouted back as she narrowly missed a huge chunk of potato, which proceeded to lodge itself half in Will's face, half in his hair.

"Well, then hit it with something!" Will shouted, throwing her the iron. Elizabeth juggled it for a minute, giving enough time for another flying potato to lodge itself on her shoulder. Finally, she managed to toss it at the blender, hitting the off button, which died immediately.

"Well…" Jack said, pulling a chunk of potato out of his dreads and tasting it, "Guess that the blender's ruled out, innit?"

Will, who was wiping potatoes out of his eyes with one hand, clasping a burn on his arm in the shape of an iron in the other, glared.

"…And then it says that you put it in that contraption…" Jack said, gesturing with his un-burned hand to the oven, "…and bake it for forty-five minutes, savvy?"

Elizabeth eyed the oven warily. They were supposed to be baking chocolate chip cookies, after having succeeded with the main meal (they ordered pizza).

"Want me to put it in, Elizabeth?" Will asked from behind the two, an ice-cold rag wrapped around his iron burn.

"No, Will, I assure you…I can handle it." Elizabeth determinedly, placing the cookies into the oven.

One hour later….

"Lizzie, what about the cookies?" Jack asked, not tearing his eyes away from the cartoon they were watching, Dora The Explorer.

"Oh, no…"

Will and Jack followed Elizabeth into the kitchen, to the oven. She opened up the door and leaned in, her hair catching on the sides.

When she emerged, the ends of her hair were slightly blackened and she had some black cookie crumbs on the end of her nose. In her pot-holder covered hands, she was holding a tray of scorched, completely black chocolate chip cookies.

"Oh bugger." Jack muttered, eyeing the cookies.

"My sentiments exactly."

"Popcorn. We won't kill ourselves doing this…I hope." Elizabeth said, popping the bag of popcorn into the microwave.

"I dunno…looks dangerous, luv," Jack said, Will nodding in agreement. In the midst of it all, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth hadn't even bothered to remove the potatoes from their hair…it was actually a very odd sight.

"So…one minute…there!" Elizabeth punched in the one minute on the microwave.

One minute later…

"Not good! Lizzie, how high did you put the microwave on for?" Jack asked as he heard some odd noises from the microwave.

"I put it on the highest level!" Elizabeth said defensively, cowering slightly behind the counter.

"Oh, this is just brill-" Will's words were cut off as the front of the microwave flew off, and sent pieces of burnt popcorn flying everywhere.

Em walked through the door to be faced with three extremely angry pirates and the biggest mess she had ever seen.

The kitchen…was well beyond repair. It was covered with mashed potatoes, something that looked suspiciously like soot, burnt popcorn, pepperoni, and some orange soda, and a broken blender and iron.

The three pirates in front of her, however, looked possibly worse.

Elizabeth's hair was burned at the ends, something that looked suspiciously like soot was on her nose, she had potatoes covering her new DKNY shirt, and she smelled of orange soda, popcorn, and burned hair.

Will's hair was almost sticking straight up, he had a burn in the shape of an iron on his arm, and his heart-y apron was burned to a crisp. She could've sworn that she saw his hair smoking, and his left eye was twitching convulsively.

Jack's flowery apron was singed, partially on fire at the hem, his hair was frizzed, a large red iron shaped burn was on top of his right hand, and he had large chunks of potato in his hair, a piece of popcorn was stuck half-way under his bandana, the kohl around his eyes was smudged, and Em would have laughed except for the fact that they looked murderous.

"Where's. The. Bloody. Monkey?" Jack gritted out, staring at her.

Em couldn't contain it. She burst into a fit of giggles.

Swann's Note: Yeah, short chapter…I've only got a couple of ideas for chapter 2. Also, kudos to you peeples that recognized where I got the ironing grilled-cheese sandwiches thing. :D lol.

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