Prologue

Go on; look at me; I dare you. Stop concentrating on the wall; I am standing in front of you so turn your head to face me. No - do not focus your gaze just over my right shoulder, I can tell what you are doing. Look at me, I say. Focus your eyes on my face and talk to me straight. There is no need to speak slowly or any need to shout, I can hear you fine, I'm not stupid – no far from it.

So treat me like a normal person, do your best. Still can't look me straight in the eye can you? I can tell, you blush, and you lower your eyes and simper like a teenager on their first date. And then you smile and that hurts most of all, for you smile in a sad way, in a pitiful way as if you feel very sorry for me, as if my life isn't worth the effort.

Yeah thanks, due to people like you sometimes I don't feel like my life is worth anything at all. Right at this very moment is one of them. Just get the hell out of here, I don't want to see you, don't want your artificial concern. Leave me alone; forget I even asked you to look at me. I am not like you – at least not anymore.

For a brief moment I thought you really cared, thought you could see beyond it all, but I guess not. For a split second I thought you were like her and for one small second hope re-entered my life.