AN: This story came to me when I was listening to My Chemical Romance's Cemetery Drive (hence the title). So I thought I would put in the lyrics. Lyrics will be in italics. Yay! Now just a random and potential spoiler… I don't hate Sam, but for this to work Well you'll see. Hopefully all the flash backs and flash forwards worked and it doesn't confuse you too much. So enjoy! If you can...
It was so fitting to have it under the stars. After all she loved stars so much and Jack knew it. He watched the people walk by each seemed more dead then the last. The shock of it all was too much. No one thought she could have done it, she just always seemed so happy. Jack sat in the front with Teal'c and Daniel. He refused to make eye contact with them, no matter how hard they tried. All he could do was stare numbly at the coffin in front of him and the candle glow upon it. Sam why? Jack asked himself
This night, walk the dead
In a solitary style
The last night they had spent with her was only the other day. Jack almost smiled to himself as he thought of it. The four of them, the old SG-1, decided to do a teenager thing and jump over the fence into the cemetery. He looked across the grounds to the familiar mausoleum where they had sat together. It had been so long since he had seen her; in fact it may have been her wedding where he last saw her.
"I've never seen that dress before." Jack had said to her.
She laughed, "My husband hates it."
"Really?" Jack asked, "I love it." He said softer. Sam had looked him in the eyes and knew he meant to say I love you.
"Me too." Sam replied.
And crash the cemetery gates.
In the dress your husband hates
He ran a hand threw his hair remembering her scent. He looked up at the perfect rectangular hole dug deep in the ground. At the head of the hole stood a tombstone with her name on it and suddenly he felt like crying. His heart could no longer hope it was all a dream.
Way down, mark the grave
Jack remembered when they told him she was dead. He was sitting at the mausoleum door, drinking and remembering the night before with Sam... He was watching her laugh, it made him feel so good to hear her laughter. He remembered a bright light was suddenly upon them. He looked up remembering that her husband was in a rage. Jack looked back to where Sam was sitting and she was gone. The memory had faded. He looked to the lights that shone on him now.
He looked up at Daniel and Daniel looked away. Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Daniel started before he did. "Jack, Sam… Sam is, is gone."
Jack stared at Daniel, "Gone? Gone where?"
"She passed away earlier this evening." Daniel clarified.
"What?" Jack asked.
"She was found on the bathroom floor, Jack she committed suicide."
"W, what?" Jack fell against the mausoleum door. "No…"
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor
Jack stared blankly at the minister who rambled on about peace in the after life. Jack couldn't help but feel it was his fault. He had kissed her that night too. Daniel was showing Teal'c something in the distance. She said something about the stars being beautiful that night. He had touched her shoulder and said something about them not being as beautiful as her. They had stared into each others eyes for a long time before Jack leaned in and she cupped his face. They kissed with passion and it hurt Jack to let her go. Emptiness had consumed him then on…
I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Sam sat beside her fuming husband as he drove. He always drove, he always drove. It wasn't like she was happy either. They parked in their drive and he glared at her. "What the fuck did you think you were doing?" He asked.
"I was seeing my friends." She fired back trying to control her own temper. "You're not the only person in my life, you know."
"Bull shit! Just friends? I saw that kiss!"
Sam was stunned, "You were spying on me? What didn't you trust me?"
"NOT WITH THAT BASTARD O'NEILL!" He suddenly screamed at her.
"Get sober." she spat back. She got out of the car and went into the house. He followed after a couple of seconds "How long must this go on?" She asked when he came through the door. "I love you."
"Do you? It seems to me you love Jack."
"It shouldn't matter what I use to feel, I married you!"
He laughed sickly, "Only because you couldn't marry your beloved Jack!"
"YOU"RE A FUCKING LUNITIC!" She yelled.
"IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU? FUCK SAM I LOVED YOU! I GAVE THIS HOME AND A LIFE!"
"OH YES YOU ARE MY SAVOIR, LETS ALL BOW DOWN NOW!"
"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
"NO YOU'RE BULLSHIT! YOU'RE JEALOUS AND CONTROLLING!"
"SO WHY DID YOU MARRY ME THEN?"
"BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD MAN! I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU!"
That hit a final straw because he then grabbed a knife on the counter and held it in a threatening manner. He swiped at her, she dodged. He swiped at her again and she dodged again. He went a third time slashing her wrist, but left himself open to a hard kick she landed on his knee, he fell. Sam threw open the draw and pulled out her gun pointing it directly at him. He looked up in time to glare up the barrel.
"Get out." She said firmly.
He gave her a final glare before he stood, dropped the knife and left. She didn't lower her gun until she heard the front door slam, his car start and drive away. Then she dropped the empty gun and fell to her knees crying. After a moment or two she stared down at her wrist the cur was parallel to her palm. As she watched it another line drew itself, like an invisible force was cutting her.
Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
O'Neill shot a glance at her husband. His face was red and puffy from crying. Jack knew they loved each other, even if they had their problems. He shut his eyes and pain as he remembered more. After finding out about Sam he drove home. Jack saw he had a message and clicked the button on his answering machine. The voice that came out made him shutter. "Jack? Jack, are you there?" It was Sam. "Jack I need… I need to talk to you…" he threw his chair out the window and screamed to the heavens. Why? Why did he go to the grave yard? He should have been home, he could have stopped her, helped her! Jack cursed himself again.
He looked up at the priest who was still rambling. For the first time he allowed tears fall. They were quiet and subtle tears, but tears none the less. He knew it would be a lie to try and stop them. Suddenly he felt a piece of him die.
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?
He felt Daniel grasp his shoulder, but it didn't help any. He was empty, he was lost. For the first time he could make a decision, he couldn't do anything except think about Sam. Her scent, her voice, her laughter, even her scientific babble and that kiss. That kiss lingered on his lips and wouldn't leave him. He could still taste her.
I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Then the casket was lifted. Jack watched sadly. He stood with everyone.
Way down, way down
This was it. This was his final good-bye.
Way down, way down
Forever now she will be six feet beneath him and he will never be able to touch her. Never be able to talk to her and hear her reply.
Way down, way down
He shook his head knowing that out of the corner of his eye he will hope to see her.
Way down, way down
Finally it was set to rest at the bottom of the hole. He felt her kiss once more before the numbness took over his body.
I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
His tears stopped now and he stood there with a tribute song playing in the background. And suddenly he stopped. His whole body seemed to shut down and he wondered why he was so heartless. Why suddenly he felt nothing, no anger, no sadness. But then he was reminded of his pain when a breeze brushed through his hair and he thought about the… He shut his eyes again. He no longer wanted to be part of this world.
When will I miss you, when will I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Made it so hard
"Jack?" Daniels voice rang through his void. Jack looked up. "You're bleeding." Jack frowned and suddenly felt a trickle flowing slowly down his fist. He looked at it and saw red flowing and staining the white shirt under the black jacket. He began rolling up his sleeve suddenly paniced. His heart stopped when he saw a line slashed threw his wrist… just like Sams. He began to stumble forward as another line was slowly cutting its way across his wrist.
His vision blurred, did he do this? He stumbled some more. Until finally he tripped…
Way down, way down
His fall felt like it was in slow motion. He saw a vision of Sam as she ran to the bathroom to stop the bleeding. He cringed to see she couldn't stop it.
Way down, way down
He felt cool air blow past his cheek and wondered is this the end? Is Sam waiting for me?
Way down, way down
Suddenly he hit the hard coffin. The air in his lungs were forced out and he gasped for several minutes to get it back. Lying there he remembered the hollow empty sound the coffin made when he hit it. Was it suppose to sound like that?
Way down, way down
There was a unicon gasp as the many people gathered for Sams funeral watched the General fall right into the grave, following Sam. Daniel rushed over and looked down into the hole. Jack was lying there on top of the coffin, but he wasn't moving. It didn't even seem like he was breathing.
Daniel stared down, "Jack?" There was a bright flash around Jack and then he was gone. Daniel felt a flash of light on his back and he quickly swerved around to look. Standing behind him was Jack and Sam, both wearing confused yet serious looks on their faces.
There was a long, long silence before Jack asked a single question, "What's going on?"
Way down...