Lighthouse

Pose-Ep for 911. I felt compelled to write about this one. This is my first SVU story. sniffle

We are the lighthouse our children look for when they feel adrift.

Are you shining for them?

He had been on his way to the couch when he thought he heard the soft rap on the door. He turned the volume down and listened again. A shadow blocked the light, telling him he wasn't imaging things. He made his way to the door before his visitor knocked again. He unlocked it before opening it ever so slightly. He would have peered into the eyes of the person on the other side of the door, had their eyes been visible. They were looking down as if studying something very closely. He knew that wasn't the case, though. It was because the person didn't want him to see the tears that filled their pain-filled eyes.

The word barely came, a mere whisper of his name but he heard it loud and clear. He stepped aside and had to grab onto the door jam for support when her weight came crashing into him. He held onto her as if his life depended on it, because he knew hers did. At that very moment, he was filling a vital role he knew she so desperately needed him to. He'd gotten the call and he'd waited all night for her to come to him. A little girl had been held captive for who knows how long and Olivia had been on the phone with her for hours. She'd been that little girl's only hope. When Cragen told him Olivia was the only one to believe the little girl, he felt proud and angry. Proud because his partner was the best and she always gave her all to the victims. She was there no matter what. He felt angry, though, at how much it took her to gain everyone else's trust. He thought they knew her, but he was wrong. Had he been there, he would have demanded they listen to everything she had to say. Instead, precious minutes, if not hours, ticked by while she waited for someone, anyone, to give her a chance—to give them both a chance.

He pictured Olivia standing there, hunched over the speaker. She was holding onto the little girl's every word and she was letting her know that while they were miles away she felt that little girl in her heart. She could hear her softly consoling the child, telling her everything would be alright even though deep down, she had no idea if it would be. That's why she was so good. She gained trust when none could be found. If only the guys at the station had trusted her. It almost came too late. As he looked at his partner now, tears came to his own eyes. He could only imagine how hard it was for her to go through such a helpless ordeal. As hard as it was for him to imagine, he knew it was so much harder to actually go through it. He looked at her with an admiration never felt before. She never ceased to amaze him.

He led her over to the couch, still holding onto her tightly. He knew her strength waned the minute she put her hand up to knock on his door. She was exhausted, barely able to stand as he gently eased her down onto the couch. He turned off the television, but not before seeing her turn away from it. He barely caught a glimpse of a little girl with a pink dress standing before a birthday cake. He looked over at his partner and noticed tears were now free falling down her face, cascading down her smooth skin. Her eyes were drawn, red, and tired but she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever had the privilege of seeing. Any other detective would have been happy to have found the little girl. Not Liv, though. She was reliving each and every what if because that's Liv. She never gave up. Long after the lights dimmed and the last cup of coffee was downed, Liv worked. Steadfast and determined, she looked for the one thing that may open the door to solving the thousands of other crimes that go unsolved. She'd solved one that had plagued authorities for some time. She should feel proud. Instead, she was sitting on his couch, head hung. Like the little girl, she needed someone to show her to her shore. She needed him.

He set the remote down and slid the coffee table away from the couch. Slowly, he turned to face her before gently turning her body away from him. Her back faced him, and he knew she was still trying to hold in the gut wrenching sobs that were inevitable. She needed the release and he let her cry, knowing when she was done she would need him to tell her that it would be okay; that the millions of other Maria's in the world would be found, too. That she'd done a good job and that the little girl was alive. He didn't need to add that she was alive because of Olivia. Liv wasn't like that and she'd feel worse if he'd said it. He still thought it, though. His Liv never gave up.

He rubbed her back briefly before rolling up his shirtsleeves. He began massaging her shoulders, neck, and back. He took his time, knowing they had nowhere else to be. He didn't know how long he spent easing her tired, worn muscles. He glanced at the clock on the VCR. Twelve thirty. He'd massage all night if she needed him to. He had a feeling she just needed him to be there. The rest would come in the morning. For now, though, she needed him to show her the way through the dark. He felt her sag under his fingers and lessened the pressure on her muscles before quitting all together. He knew her eyes were closed and she was near falling asleep sitting up.

He gently eased her back with his fingertips, knowing it wouldn't take much for her to give in. He scooted back and pulled her toward him until she was lying on his chest. He held her tear tracks dried and long after the remnants were visible on her face. He held her until his eyes became heavy and he drifted off along with her. He continued to hold her throughout the night. In the morning they would talk. For now, though, she was getting the rest she deserved. Weary and tired, she had come to him for comfort and guidance. As he slipped into the depths of sleep, his last conscious image was of her in that room acting as the lighthouse for all the little victims in the world that needed her to show them the way. Just like she was there for them, he would always be for her. Someone had to be there for the Olivia's and as long as he lived and breathed, he would be.

Finis

The quote is from Goldie Hawn's speech on the words can heal site. FYI