Once upon a time,

Not this old intro! Do you know how old that is?

SHUT UP! I'm trying to tell the readers how you and Kenshin got together!

It doesn't mean it has to be a fairy tale, you moron...

Fine, how about this?

Kenshin sighed as he watched Sanosuke from the window. The young man was practicing the Mastery of Two Layers with his left hand, so that if one of them became useless or the bones shattered, that he could use the other.

The red-haired man watched Sanosuke's muscles ripple and eyed his bare chest, for today it was warm and the nineteen-year-old had discarded his shirt, allowing Kenshin the rare oppurtunity to look at him shirtless.

"You like him, eh?"

The former Battosai jumped three feet in the air and turned around to see Kaoru grinning at him.

"Oro?" He stammered.

"Oh, yes you do." Kaoru teased. "I've watched you and Sanosuke for a LONG time, and it's getting frustrating. If you like him so much, Kenshin, why don't you just tell him?"

Kenshin was confused. Why wasn't Kaoru upset? He thought she liked him more than--

"Hello, sweetie." Megumi wrapped her arms around Kaoru from behind and kissed her cheek.

"ORO!"

Megumi laughed at Kenshin's expression.

"Ken-san, surely you weren't that oblivious!" She said, fox ears coming out.

"He was too busy ogling Sanosuke's ass." Kaoru explained. "So, anyway, Kenshin, you never answered my question. Why don't you just tell him?"

Kenshin looked down at his hands and whispered,

"This one does not wish to disturb his friendship with Sagara-san."

"I'm pretty sure he likes you too." Megumi coaxed.

"I have an idea." Kaoru suddenly clapped her hands, scaring the heck out of her lover and her friend. "Kenshin, why don't you seduce him? If he responds, then he likes you back!"

"Oh yes! We can have strawberries and cream, or watermelon, and I have these clothes Ken-san could use--they're a little skimpy on the crotch area, but that should be fine." Megumi cried, going along with Kaoru's idea.

"Oro?" Kenshin blushed profusely. "This one does not like that idea very much..."

But it was too late. Kaoru had already gone off to buy strawberries.

Megumi looked at Kenshin with an evil glint in her eye.

He gulped. It was time to run.

"SANOSUKE! HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!"

Kenshin ran right into said man.

Sanosuke chuckled as he held out a hand.

"Megumi trying out her medicines on you?" He teased. Kenshin blushed and shook his head.

"Actually, she's trying to get--"

"KENSHIN! COME BACK HERE! I'M SURE THEY'LL LOOK GREAT ON YOU!" Megumi shouted, waving around her skimpy clothes. Sanosuke promptly got a nosebleed.

"She's trying to get you to wear that?" He asked incredulously. Kenshin nodded, hiding behind the taller man.

Sanosuke gripped Kenshin by the shoulders and held him up to Megumi.

"Here he is!" He yelled. Kenshin struggled wildly but Sanosuke's grip was too strong.

"Sano...please!" He begged. But Sanosuke only grinned and handed him over to Megumi.

"Thanks, rooster-head! Be out in a minute!" Megumi called over her shoulder as she walked off with Kenshin over her shoulder.

Sanosuke shrugged, completely oblivious to the pleading look and blush on Kenshin's face as he resumed his training.

"Megumi! I got the strawberries and cream!" Kaoru sang.

"ORO!"

"Come on, Kenshin, they're not that bad!" Megumi cried from the room. Kaoru blinked and wondered what they were doing. She opened the sliding door cautiously.

Kenshin was struggling to get out of pants that hung low on his hips and were tight around his legs. Megumi had rubbed fragrant oils over Kenshin's bare chest so he smelled good and looked sexy!

"Ne, Megumi, where are those clothes you were talking about?" Kaoru asked, disappointed.

"He ripped them to shreds. Luckily these leather Westerner clothes are not as easy to destroy." She explained.

Kaoru sweatdropped.

"Right! I'm done!" Megumi set up a bed of soft silk pillows (don't ask how she got them) and plopped Kenshin on it. Kaoru set a bowl of strawberries heavily covered with cream next to him.

"This is what you do." Kaoru hissed. "He comes in, you ask if he would like one, and if he says no, urge him to try one. Then when he kneels to pick one up, pop one in his mouth."

Kenshin remained silent, but nodded when Megumi shook him.

Sanosuke walked into the room, sweaty and tired from his training.

"Oi, Kenshin, you got any food? I'm star--" He stopped quickly at the sight of Kenshin slowly licking cream off his fingers.

"Well, I haven't cooked anything. Do you want a strawberry?" The rurouni asked. Sanosuke shrugged and walked over. He knelt, reaching for one in the bowl, when Kenshin caught his wrist.

He shook his cream-covered index finger at Sanosuke.

"Your hands are dirty." He said softly. Sanosuke almost pouted but stopped himself.

"But then how am I supposed to eat one?" He complained.

Kenshin picked one from the bowl that was completely smothered in the soft white sweetness and pushed it into Sanosuke's mouth, the thinner end of the strawberry parting his lips.

Sanosuke let his tongue wrap around the smooth red berry, licking all of the cream off of it and then biting it. He swallowed.

"Heh, thanks, Kenshin! But I'll go wash my hands now!" He left quickly.

Kenshin fell over as Megumi and Kaoru entered the room.

"He...he didn't react!" He cried. Megumi smirked.

"I don't think so...we got a blush out of him!" She pumped her fist triumphantly into the air.

"You could make anyone blush if you did that, even if they didn't like you." Kenshin pointed out. Seeing Yahiko pass by, he called out, "Yahiko, please come in!"

And he slid a strawberry in the boy's mouth.

"WHAT ARE YOU, AN IDIOT? I'M NOT A BABY, I CAN FEED MYSELF!" Yahiko scowled, snatched up the bowl, and walked out.

Kenshin gave a small "oro" and admitted the two were right.

"It's a pity, too," he sighed. "I liked those strawberries..."

Megumi and Kaoru fell over.

"I have the perfect plan this time!" Megumi declared.

Kenshin, whom she had snuck up on while he was doing laundy, jumped and gave a loud "ORO!".

"You are going to accidentally fall asleep in Sanosuke's room. When he comes in, you're going to pretend you're having a wet dream and moan out his name. He can't be THAT thick!" She exclaimed. Kenshin blushed.

"O-oro?"

She took this as a yes and slung him over her shoulder much like she had when Sanosuke had handed him to her.

Sanosuke grinned, whistling cheerfully as he walked into his bedroom. It had been nice of Kaoru to offer him a room at the dojo when he had been kicked out of his shack.

He blinked when he saw Kenshin asleep on his futon.

"Poor guy...he must have been so exhausted he went into the wrong room! Oh well, might as well carry him into his." As Sanosuke leaned down close to Kenshin's face, making to pick him up, Kenshin suddenly moaned.

"S-sano...mo-more! N-no, don't st-stop!" He arched his back. Sanosuke took the oppurtunity to slide his arm under and picked him up.

He carried him back to his room without saying anything.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FAILED! HOW STUPID IS HE?" Megumi was throwing a tantrum. Kaoru and Kenshin both sweatdropped. Suddenly she whirled around, pointing a finger accusingly at the red-haired swordsman.

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't picked to fall in love with that moron of a rooster-head, it wouldn't be so hard! I mean, he didn't even get it when you actually said his name! Argh! Does he know what innuendos are?" She demanded.

"Actually, I do." Sanosuke grinned broadly at the looks on everyone's faces as he leaned into the doorframe.

"S-Sano!" Everyone gasped. Kenshin blushed, realizing the fighter must have heard everything.

Sanosuke shook his head.

"Damn, you guys are idiots. I knew exactly what you were doing as soon as you showed me those clothes, fox-lady." He walked over to the now-red rurouni and picked him up bride-style. "I was betting with myself, actually. If my sanity could survive Kenshin in leather pants, I got to ravish him. If I didn't...I still get to ravish him. Now, if you excuse me, I'm off to do my prize."

"Don't you mean collect your prize?" Megumi wondered out loud.

Sanosuke stopped and threw a perverted grin over his shoulder.

"Nope. I meant exactly what I said."

"O-oro! Sano!" Kenshin gasped, bucking wildly under his newly established lover's skillful tongue.

"You like this, Kenshin?" Sanosuke purred, looking up from where his head was between said swordsman's legs. "How about this?"

"ORO!"

From their peephole in the wall, Kaoru and Megumi both got nosebleeds.
There! Are you happy?

Yup. Especially with the end.

This is dedicated to The Crossover Queen, who claimed this as her fic.

Sano, you remember your promise about what you would do if I wrote this, right?

(sighs) Perverted authoress...

(kisses Kenshin passionately) Please review!