This is something that came out of a conversation between me and Feniiku about every fangirl's favourite pastime: beating up the main characters. Hehe. :p
Excuse my awful rhyming, but this is just meant to be a bit of fun. Verses9 and10 are by Feniiku
The 'Everybody Loves to Torture Sonic' song
Listen a moment
If you've a moment to spare
We are the fangirls
And we've something to declare
---
You'd better watch out
If you're spiky and blue
We like to torture Sonic
It's what fanfic writers do
---
We don't care about the plot
For no particular gain
We just love to write fics
That cause Sonic pain
---
We'll break both his legs
In a vicious attack
Or maybe we'll drown him
In a vat of Mega Mack
---
We'll shoot him with lasers
Make him fight 'til he's sore
We'll kill him off
Then bring him back for more
---
Oh there's nothing we like more
Than watching him run
When we've made him lose his speed
Just 'cause it'sfun
---
We'll drive him insane
And mess with his mind
We'll play with his fears
It's our favourite pastime
---
We'll do anything to Sonic
If it'll cause him a sting
Even make him a girl
If that's your kind of thing
---
And also watch out
If you're black and red too
We like to torture Shadow
It's what fanfic writers do
---
"Hey!" complains Sonic
With a pitiful whine
"He's stealing the spotlight!
That spotlight's mine!"
---
It doesn't matter who you are
Whether dark side or light
If you're in a fanfic
You're in the gunsight
---
By the time we've finished
You'll be battered and sore
With bruises and cuts
And stitches and more
---
So you'd better watch out
There're fangirls at large
Cruelty to hedgehogs?
Guilty as charged
---
Oh you'd better watch out
If you're spiky and blue
We like to torture Sonic
It's what fanfic writers do
(repeat ad nauseum)
-coughcough- Are we evil? Yup. Am I good at poetry? HELL NO. Is Sonic going to hunt as down and murder us? Probably…