Ok I revised and re-wrote chapters 1-10. Didn't like how they came out. So you can read this chapter first, but I would suggest to read the first 10 chapters since some changed dramatically. Please review! No Flames Please! Thanks to everyone who reviewed sorry I haven't been able to reply to each of you individually.
Chapter Eleven
"I remember." How could he forget, Yami in between his legs on the bathroom floor. Crying about how that bastard had…had…he didn't even want to think about it.
Yami sighed as he slid even deeper into the couch and started to spin the ring on his finger. "Well….he… came to the …house yesterday."
This was a bad idea. How could he tell Seto that he had been violated again? Twice in his own home once when he was alone and the other when there was a whole room of people downstairs, including his brother. He wanted to run from Seto's mansion and forget the whole conversation, but he knew the latter would only find him again. It really wasn't difficult to hide since they went to school together, had a project to do together and plus he knew where he lived. He needed a xanax and a cigarette or maybe some alcohol. Was it too early to drink?
Seto stared intently at the lithe teen before him, wondering what could be going through the others mind. 'Don't press Seto, he will only withdraw more. Be patient.' This mantra repeated itself in his mind as he tried to get comfortable on the couch, but found it difficult to relax seeing Yami so distraught; seeming afraid to say what was on his mind.
He suspected what had happened, but wanted Yami to reveal it to him. Anger started to build in his mind. 'That bastard touched my Yami again! He belongs to me!' His conscious kicked in. 'Possessive are we. You haven't even kissed him and on the forehead don't count.' He felt his face start to go red again, but thank God Yami still remained looking at his hands as he continued to turn his ring.
Seto had to strain to hear the barely audible voice. "I really should be getting home. Thanks for everything you have done."
As Yami stood acting upon reflex Seto grabbed his arm. That was a big mistake. Yami flinched at the strong and unwelcomed grip. Sapphire eyes widened at what he had just done and berated himself in his mind. 'Nice going idiot, that's not going to help, he thinks I'm going to hurt him.'
"Seto please let go." Yami whispered. Scared, tear-filled crimson eyes looked from his arm up into Seto's eyes.
He didn't let go, he couldn't let go? He couldn't let Yami walk out the door. He didn't want him to walk out the door, but knew he couldn't force him to stay. He reluctantly and slowly released his grip on the thin arm he was holding. He looked into crimson eyes and saw the fear in them. Did he think I was going to do the same thing as that bastard did to him? I couldn't nor wouldn't hurt him; I have come to love him. There are only two people in the world I love and had given my heart to. Mokuba and now Yami, only I never openly told the latter.
Yami slowly walked to the kitchen door picked up his bag and slung it over one shoulder, still wincing in pain as he did so. He turned and saw the tall, slender man watching him. "Seto I do trust you, please understand that. It's just being grabbed makes me….. uncomfortable."
Seto nodded, even though it felt as his heart was breaking in two. How could someone he had only known less than a month gain his trust and love, breaking the ice that had built up around his heart? Now he understood the saying 'If you love someone, you have to let them go.' He didn't want to though he wanted Yami to stay. He walked to the access code panel and entered the code that opened the gates.
Yami turned and made his way down the long hallway. With every step a piece of his heart broke. Yesterday, last night and this morning were the best moments of his life in a year and he was letting it go. He had fallen in love with Seto, but didn't even know if he could kiss him. What if he forced himself onto me? No, Seto wasn't like that. He would never hurt me. He said so, and I saw the truth in his eyes.
He walked out of the mansion and out of the gates that Seto had opened, wanting to turn back, ignore the pain shooting through his lower back and run into the mansion and just have Seto hold him. Feel the warmth and comfort of the other that he didn't even realize he missed until it was gone.
He shook his head and began walking toward home only stopping once to reach in his bag and pull out a water bottle, hydrocodones, xanax, cigarettes and a lighter. He popped two of each pill and lit up his cigarette. He had tried to keep his promise to Seto, but failed. It was easier to hide behind pills.
Three cigarettes later he walked into the house, but instead of finding it empty like he had hoped, he groaned internally as he found Yugi and Mokuba sitting at the kitchen table each having a steaming cup of tea before them.
"Yami, I didn't expect you home till later." Yugi said as he stood up and walked over to his older brother pulling him into a hug.
Yami winced and it didn't go unnoticed, for Mokuba was watching the whole scene that unfolded around him. He knew Seto hadn't hurt him for he saw in his brothers' eyes the love he had for Yugi's older brother. So what had happened to him to cause so much pain from a hug?
Yugi pulled back and looked up at his brother with innocent amethyst eyes. "Why do you smell like cigarettes?"
Yami did groan outwardly this time, snapping at his little brother. "Yugi, I am old enough to smoke you know.
He mentally kicked himself as he saw the hurt in his brothers' eyes. The pain pills definitely turned him into a jerk.
"You know they're not good for you, they cause cancer, emphysema and they stink!" Yugi snapped back.
Yami sighed; Yugi could make him feel so good at times and worse at others. The latter being the better choice now. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping at you and you're right about what they cause, but I need them right now okay."
"No it's not okay! I don't want to see you hooked up to an oxygen tank or in the hospital dying of lung cancer!" Yugi yelled hitting his brother in the chest not noticing the grey eyes behind him had gone wide.
Mokuba had known Yugi for about three months, way before Yami and Seto met. In those three months he had never seen him act like this. He was usually calm and quiet. He had never heard him yell let alone hit anybody. He couldn't blame Yugi though, he would do the same thing to his big brother if he found out he was destroying himself.
Yami turned his head away from the accusing eyes of his brother. He could not handle the look of disappointment in Yugi's eyes. If only his little brother knew half of what he was doing, smoking would seem mild in comparison.
"Please, Yami, please try to quite for me and if not for me then think of Kaiba." Yugi cried the anger subsiding into hurt.
Yami's head shot back to look at his brother then to Mokuba wondering where the hell Yugi got the idea that he cared for Seto. Mokuba only shrugged under the intense stare that Yami was giving him.
He looked back down at his almost twin and asked. "What do you mean think of Kaiba?"
Yugi looked down as he dug his sock covered toes into the linoleum. "Well, you two are friends now right?"
Mokuba looked at Yami waiting to see what the others answer was. He knew that they were friends, but he also wondered if it was more than that. He saw the way they looked at each other and couldn't help but feel that there was more going on than just friendship. He really liked Yami and had come to care for him a lot, mainly because of how he had changed his older brother for the better. He couldn't imagine not having Yami in his or Seto's life.
The same with Yugi, he thought of him as another brother. Unlike everyone else who accused him of being like his brother, just because of his last name, Yugi never once thought of him as a younger version of Seto, but as Mokuba. In the three months Yugi's friends had come to accept him, but they would never be as close as he and Yugi were.
"Yes Yugi, Seto and I are friends." Yami whispered as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Then quite for him. How do you think he would feel to see you in the hospital?" Yugi whispered.
Crimson eyes widened, what was it with people and wanting him to make promises he knew he couldn't keep. Huge amethyst and grey eyes were looking at him putting him on the spot. He couldn't snap at them. They were only looking out for his well being, much like Bakura and Seto.
"It takes years to do that much damage to your body, I won't end up in the hospital overnight, but I will try to quite even though I can't say it will happen in the next few weeks or months." Yami said looking at the two who seemed to be placated for now.
"That's all I ask. I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Yugi said tears now forming in his eyes.
Yami drew him into a tight embrace flinching once again as he did so. "Stop crying, you won't lose me anytime soon, my hikari."
Yugi buried his face into Yami's chest so Mokuba wouldn't see him cry. Hot tears streamed down his face, soaking the front of his brothers' shirt. Yami rubbed circles in his brothers back trying to comfort him as he looked up at Mokuba.
"I will do it for your brother as well." He whispered causing the younger Kaiba to jump out of the chair and run to give him a hug as well, being gentle knowing that Yami had somehow been injured.
Yami smiled and placed an arm around Mokuba as well. He knew a lot of people cared for him, now if he could only care more about himself. He had a long way to go before he could quite everything, but he did want to be there for Yugi, Mokuba who reminded him so much of his brother and even Seto.
Seto having nothing better to do grabbed the diary of Priest Seth. "If only it was that easy, pledge your undying love, they reciprocate those feelings and everything else in the world seems to not matter." Life was not like that, well at least his wasn't. He lay down on the couch and opened the book to where he left off and began to read.
I needed to leave the room before my Pharaoh woke up. I did not want to feel the pain of rejection if somehow last night was done while both our emotions where high. I slowly climbed out of his bed, grabbed my headdress of the stand beside the bed and walked to the door only taking one last quick look at the other before I took my leave.
I closed the door and turned around only to come face to face with the lavender eyes of Mahad. "Priest Seth, may I ask what you were doing in the Pharaoh's chambers this early in the morning?"
"I was just checking to make sure that he was alright, seeing that he is usually awake by this time." Thank Ra I did not stutter or pause too long after he asked me. For Isis is the only one who knew of my feelings.
Mahad gave a nod seeming to accept my answer and motioned for me to follow him. We had reached the end of the hall when he turned to me with a small frown gracing his face. "You know Priest Seth that the land is flowing with darkness; it will not be long till we have no kingdom at all. I do not know what we did to anger the Gods, but something is approaching that may put all of us in danger especially the Pharaoh."
My eyes went wide as I remembered the conversation I had with Priestess Isis yesterday. Had she mentioned anything about the prophecy to him as well? "Priest Mahad, you say such dire words. You cannot possibly think that we did something to upset the Gods? "
"No, maybe not, but you cannot tell me Priest Seth that something is not going on? You can see the signs as well as I. Priestess Isis has seen the future in her Sennen Talisman, for she has been depressed for the last two days." Priest Mahad spoke looking at Seth with narrowed eyes.
I snorted placing my hand on the Sennen Rod hanging from my waist. "It does not bode well to dwell on the past or future only the things that happen in the present."
Mahad looked at me closed his eyes and bowed his head. "You seem not to care much for our Pharaoh for it is he who may fall if anything should happen."
My rage grew at such a forward accusation. "How dare you not think I care for our Pharaoh? I would give my life for him whether he asked for it or not! He means everything to me and you cannot tell me you do not feel the same!"
Mahad stepped back and looked at me with wide eyes for he knew he had made a dire mistake. "Forgive me High Priest, for I forgot my place. I hope you can forgive my insolence?"
I sighed for I could never stay mad at him or any of the other Priests, even though I was the highest ranked of them all we all served the same purpose, to protect our Pharaoh. "All is forgiven Priest Mahad; now let us not be so formal."
Mahad nodded and I smiled, we had all been friends for so long that in private it seemed redundant to call each other by title. "How is training going with Mana to someday make her a Priestess?"
"She is doing excellent and with Isis helping her as well I am sure that she will serve the Pharaoh well. She is very dedicated, though she does joke and play while not training."
"She is well loved by the Pharaoh, he sees her as a little sister. He is very protective of her."
"I know, but he has to realize that once she becomes a Priestess it will be her job to protect him." Mahad whispered.
"I do not think that his protectiveness of her will change. You should have seen our Pharaoh and her in the gardens. He did not act so regal that day." I spoke smiling at the scene I saw the other day, unbeknownst to the people I was watching.
"What did you see?" Mahad placed a hand on my shoulder as I started to walk away.
"Let us just say that a certain Monarch dumped a vase full of water over the future Priestess head. She repaid him by pushing him into the fountain. Only she did not plan on being pulled in with him." I chuckled at the look on Mahads' face.
After Mahad and I went our separate ways I decided to stay close to the throne room and await my Pharaoh hoping that what had transpired the night before did not jeopardize our friendship. I turned quickly as I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and sighed in relief.
My Pharaoh, my love stood beside me, his black tunic, crimson cape and ruby encrusted jewelry bringing out the brilliance of his eyes. I was so entranced with his beauty that I almost forgot my place and suddenly bowed not certain if anyone was watching.
I lifted my head as I heard the Pharaohs rich, baritone laugh. "It is just us Seth, no need to bow before me."
"Even though you are my love, I still must treat you as Pharaoh." I stood looking at his bright crimson eyes.
"When we are in the company of others, yes, but I see no one else around." He gave the smile that was only reserved for me. I have seen him smile at others, but this one was different full of love and tenderness.
He walked closer his cape billowing behind him even though there was no breeze. "When I awoke this morning why were you not beside me, my love?"
"I am sorry, but I felt it necessary not to be seen walking out together. What we have goes against all rules." I said placing a hand to his face.
He leaned into my touch, placed his hand a top mine and the other on my chest. "If I could change such rules I would, but I have to uphold which was put in place by my predecessors."
I only nodded wishing that we could stay like this forever, being close to one another, not pretending to be something we were not. I lowered my head and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. I watched as his crimson eyes grew wide as he looked to the right. I looked up and there before us stood Mana, the Priestess in training with wide aquamarine eyes. We had been caught and there was nothing that we could say or do.
We drew apart and stood waiting to see what she would do, but instead of running off to tell the other Priests what she had just witnessed, she smiled.
"May I be permitted to speak, my Pharaoh." Mana bowed.
I looked over at my Pharaoh and noticed that his eyes were still wide and seemed to be in shock. I touched his arm and that seemed to bring him out of his trance. "Yes, you may speak."
I held my breath as she raised her head looking at the two of us, but not with disgust. She still wore the same smile she had when she saw us. "Pharaoh, I have known of the bond that the two of you share, not as friends or Pharaoh and High Priest, but as two people who love each other well beyond what they are supposed to."
Both the Pharaoh and my eyes went even wider, if at all possible. Mana, the innocent, carefree girl had seen right through what we had tried so hard to hide.
She seemed to read our thoughts and her smile grew wider as she spoke her next words. "Do not worry my Pharaoh or High Priest, I have never spoken my thoughts to the other Priests and Priestess nor will I. You both deserve happiness and I am glad you can find that in each other."
I watched as the Pharaoh walked toward Mana and got down on one knee. He was not much taller than her, but now they were face to face. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a genuine smile. "I see that you speak from your heart and I trust you with this secret."
Her aquamarine eyes seemed to glow as she smiled at the Pharaoh and then up at me. I saw the love that she had for the Pharaoh and the love he had for her. Then she looked back at the Pharaoh and to my great shock put her arms around him and drew him into a gentle hug. I do not think I was supposed to hear the words she spoke next, but it made me glad that the Pharaoh had someone like her.
"Pharaoh I love you as a brother and I have always wished you to be happy and now I know that you are." She had tears in her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"I love you as a sister and thank you for that wish, I am happy. Mana you are kind and loving, one day will make a great Priestess." The Pharaoh drew her closer and placed a gentle kiss into her hair.
I stood in awe of the young girl before me, she was wise beyond her years and I had to agree with the Pharaoh, she would make a great Priestess.
He wanted to read farther, but laid the book down on the coffee table and placing an arm over his eyes. He loved Yami and finally accepted it, last night and this morning's events proved it. He wanted Yami, no needed him, just like Seth needed the Pharaoh. Seth said he would die for the Pharaoh and when he read that entry he realized that he would do the same for Yami. He would take Yami's place in the hell he was living, just to see him smile. He wanted to make him happy, but how in the fuck would he do that? Then a thought hit him, he took his arm from his eyes and sat straight up. Was there someone like Mana who could see through the façade he was putting in place?
To Be Continued…