The War Bride
a secret heart

i.

He rides on Yakkul and she runs beside them. He had asked her if she wanted to ride with him, but she said that she preferred to stretch her legs rather than take the easy way out. He doesn't think that she realized just how far away his village was from Iron Town and that was why she suggested it, because as the weeks stretch out, she keeps asking when they'll arrive.

At night, they make sure to camp out by some kind of water to keep her hydrated. She didn't fully grasp the fact that he had really come from lands far to the east, but she doesn't tell Ashitaka that. He infers it anyway.

She wraps up in her wool cloak and burrows in clutches of fallen leaves, and he lies on his back and pretends that he isn't cold. In the morning, when he's chafing his arms to drive out the chill from the night before, she tells him in her know-it-all voice that they should have waited for summer and not early fall. He mildly replies that she should take a good, long drink, because they're starting out again.

ii.

The first thing that happens to them when they arrive is a trio of girls pointing and shouting and then running. The second thing that happens to them is that one of the girls pulls Ashitaka off of the elk by his arm and hugs him so tightly that they lose their balance and fall over.

"What are you doing back here?" the girl asks once she pulls away from him. San is standing slightly behind them, unsure of what to do. "You're not supposed to be here. Besides…it's been two years. Why now?"

"I wanted to see you, Kaya, and everyone else," Ashitaka says. "And I wanted everyone to see San."

Kaya looks up for the first time at the other woman in her presence. The crystal dagger is hanging around San's neck by the same red rope, although it's faded and fraying now. Ashitaka has offered to replace it several times, but she declines each and every one. The girl's lips thin, and San's eyes narrow.

"Who is she?" Kaya asks.

"She's San," he says. "She's mine."

iii.

"Prince Ashitaka, you cannot be here," the wise woman says simply. Her smile is sad. She doesn't seem to have aged a day to him. San watches her closely, along with the other men gathered in the small hut on the hill. She's sitting next to him, but somehow she feels like she's in another room entirely.

"I understand," he replies. "But my family – the village – is here. I thought that because the curse is lifted, I might be able to return, if only for a short while. I wanted everyone know that I'm alright, and that I have found someone to share my life with."

The wise woman sighs. "Nothing is changed. Our rules edict that you are no longer a member of the Omishi, and that you no longer belong here." Ashitaka bows his head in acquiescence and means to rise. The old woman holds up a hand, stopping him. "However, this village has not stopped worrying about you from the day that you left despite our teachings. It's good of you to let us know that you have risen to meet your fate and have surmounted it."

"Thank you," he says, bowing his head again. San sits patiently, something that she rarely does. She is indulging him entirely in regards to this trip with the promise that he'll have to repay her somehow. He asked what, and she answered that she didn't know, although she really does: a winter away from Iron Town, spent in the forest with her and her brothers.

"What is her name?" the wise woman asks, pointing.

"San," she answers. Ashitaka turns his head slightly to look at her, but she just gives him her steely expression and he turns back.

"A prince and a princess," the wise woman murmurs, smiling slightly. "How appropriate."

Neither of them knows how to respond to that.

iv.

They sleep on the outskirts of the village that night. Ashitaka said good-bye to Kaya and the villagers, the wise woman remained cryptically silent, and they retreated. They find a stream running parallel to the forest and camp beside it.

The water is freezing cold, but Ashitaka takes a bath anyway. San sits on the ground and watches him.

"You're going to catch a cold," she says matter-of-factly. "You didn't buy a blanket like you said you would."

"I forgot," he replies, using his bowl to pour water over his hair. He scrubs it furiously with his fingers. It's longer now, long enough to put up in the trademark style of the Omishi, but this he doesn't do; he lets her braid it sometimes, if she's in one of her good, productive moods, and otherwise lets it hang in his face.

"You're stupid," she says. "All humans are."

"It's a problem," he answers, returning to the shore and climbing back up onto the earth. He puts away the bowl first, giving his skin time to dry before putting on his clothes. He waits a few minutes, sitting beside her with his arms wrapped around his legs and pretending he doesn't feel the cool night breezes. She fidgets.

Finally, he pulls on his leggings and his chaps over them, and then reaches for his gloves.

"You can have my blanket tonight," she says abruptly. "I'm hot."

Ashitaka pauses and then continues, doing up the tie in the front. "Thank you," he says in return. She just rolls her eyes and curls up into a ball next to him.

v.

He gets sick anyway. She wakes up and he's shivering under her cloak, and when she shoves him awake, he coughs and asks her for just a few more minutes, he's still tired. She growls, stands up, and starts to walk away.

"You're leaving?" he asks, and his voice is raspy.

"I'll be back," she says. "Yakkul will look after you."

San runs to the village and feels immediately out of place as soon as she steps into the crowded square. She hadn't felt that way with Ashitaka next to her, but now she is astutely aware of just how much she doesn't belong. She stands in the same spot for several minutes, unsure of what to do, and then Kaya notices her and comes over.

"Is something wrong?" she asks.

"I need medicine," San says. Then, as an afterthought, she adds, "And a blanket."

Kaya disappears for a few minutes and then comes back with a thick, tightly-woven mantle. San prefers furs, but she doesn't say anything, just accepts it with a nod.

"I asked the wise woman to mix something up," Kaya says. "It'll be ready in a little while."

"It's not for me," San says, just to say something. "It's for him."

"I thought so, since you don't look sick." Kaya smiles a little and then frowns. "You're taking care of him? Not just now, I mean – but always? All of this time?"

San isn't used to talking with humans other than Ashitaka. She shifts uncomfortably and tries to find the right words to reply. "We take care of each other," she says.

"We heard that there was a war. Is that how you met?"

"Yes," San says. Then she remembers that they met even before the boars' final battle, and she amends with, "And no."

"You're unusual," Kaya remarks.

San's eyes harden. "I'm not like you humans."

"We figured that one out for ourselves."

The two have nothing to say to each other after this. Kaya excuses herself, retrieves the medicine, and brings it back to San, who doesn't thank her. The two do not say good-bye; San leaves at a fast, clipped pace, and Kaya watches her, wondering how her brother fell in with someone like that.

vi.

She tips the medicine down his throat and covers him up with the blanket. He burrows into it like a small animal and says something she can't understand. She bathes quickly in the stream, dries herself with the fur cloak, and then dresses, hoping to avoid his fate. Then she sits beside him while the elk crops grass, not knowing what else to do.

He wakes up after a few hours and is confused. "What happened?" he asks.

"Nothing," she says, because that's true. "Do you feel alright?"

"Lethargic. My throat hurts," he answers. She nods, and neither of them says anything for a minute. Then, "You're always taking care of me."

"It doesn't bother me," she says, and that's true, too.

vii.

They stay for the rest of the day and night and leave the next morning. He's still not perfect, but he's hard-headed and says he's fine, so she doesn't argue.

When they stop for the night, he unrolls the blanket and falls asleep quickly. She spreads out her cloak and crawls under it, curls up, and closes her eyes for a minute. Then she slides under the blanket besides him, lays the cloak out over the blanket, and goes to sleep.