The Sounds of Yesterday Chapter 3, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Disclaimer, same as always, Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.

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Part I: Phantoms & Reality

Chapter Three

There was a starburst of pain, as her breath ceased and mind-numbing panic overwhelmed her, she shook her head. Both horrified and disgusted as she was caught from behind, hauled up tight against someone's body as another tried to tug her kimono open . . . And even then, as he touched her, touched her legs and arms, Kaoru couldn't believe this was happening. It just couldn't be happening she shrieked, kicking away the offending hand with enough strength to break his arm, struggling against their hold, when someone slapped her hard across the face. Knocking her back into someone else as she struggled to focus enough to see them but even that proved useless, as a hard blow to the back froze her mid scream, someone else kicked her in the ribs, forcing the air out of her lungs as they turned her over, righting her on her feet with unknown intent, when she screamed. Suddenly, letting out such a blood curling scream, they froze, momentarily stunned by her cry which died off . . . with a flash of red and a silver arch.

And still, Kaoru screamed, struggling against the nightmarish hold trying to bind her—when the echoes of Kenshin's voice finally filtered through the fog . . . Coming awake with such clear-wide panic on her face, he pulled her close to him, whispering gentle words against her hair as she continued to cling to him and cry, eyes held tight against the overwhelming panic surfacing as he tried to pull away.

"Kaoru?"

"Wait." she pleaded, twisting the material of his gi in her hands until she brought him close to her. Warm puffs of air against his face as his eyes paled and shone. "Please—don't go." She begged, trying to hide her face in his arms as he sighed and let go, allowing her to wrest him down with her, as she hid in the folds of cloth between them. Curling keenly around his body's warmth until the dread of what'd happened—simmered below the surface once more, bleeding off into something like a nightmare she could almost, unthinkingly ignore . . . As she allowed the momentary comfort to envelope her, she fell asleep once more, buried beneath layers of warmth and blankets, he made sure covered them both; worried as well as angered, as he recalled with detail the events of her attack. And though he knew, they'd only scared her, really. They had done enough to make him want to kill them.

Kaoru was afraid of being left alone now. Both in the dark and in her room—she could not fall asleep without him by her side. And though she'd momentarily forgotten both in the face of the night's events, he could not put off his duty of keeping watch. She needed him and in light of that, his reluctance to get close to her would have to be set aside. Little else mattered, if he could not keep her from harm and unlike the rurouni, whose personality had both failed to protect her and imprisoned him for so long—he would not stand aside and watch her suffer over something he could prevent. He would kill as much as he would die for her. And in the end that's all that should really matter, he thought, turning on his side before slowly pulling her towards him. Face unreadable, as she nuzzled him and sighed—an exchange of intertwined breath, he just as well ignored, determined to overlook certain things, when this close. Though, some things were easier said then done, he realized, as her hands coiled around the ends of his hair, he closed his eyes letting her tug him ever closer as the scent of her dispelled any other thoughts filtering through his mind.

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She awoke hours later, the sound of a winter's wind, lightly rasping against a near by wall, eyes heavy and dark, as she slowly blinked awake, ever ignorant in her sleepy haze—as she slowly rose and winced as she sat up. Her breath caught, eyes locked on an entirely different set, entirely too new and intense for her drowsed mind not to comprehend, as the vestiges of last night returned to her, she paled. Swallowing heavily as he stood, confused as he turned his back to her and headed for the shoji, a few steps away.

"I'll leave you to dress." He whispered, voice barely soft, masking the edges of his tone with something like assurance she could feel deep inside her bones before leaving her alone, confused beyond the measure of words as he exited without a backwards glance.

Struggling to understand—this distance he was creating when just the night before . . . Her brain worked overtime to provide her with the details failing her. Though distantly she might have understood now—it was something like trying to hold a handful of water in her hands, threads from an unfit slumber faded through, evaporating key event's of the actual dream before she could recall much more than she'd screamed. And maybe Kenshin had come in somewhere in between but . . . she pushed aside the need to remember as it threatened to reveal the nature of her dream.

Standing instead and walking a few feet away towards her trunk, towards a little pitcher and basin, she kneeled quietly in front of, careful to keep her thoughts a little blank as she poured water into the bowl and splashed it on her face. Forgetting for a moment the reminder to avert her eyes—as her reflection gazed back at her; Kaoru's hand hovered over the soap, fixated irrationally on the bruises on her face before she lathered up the soap and began to wash in earnest, rubbing the skin raw before she heard the consistent tapping against her shoji.

"Kaoru."

She spun, entirely surprised, she had not heard the door, unconsciously dropping the soap into the basin as Yahiko gazed at her with something akin to shock.

"I knocked . . ." He trailed off, eyes uncommonly wide as he gazed at her face.

"Kaoru."

She didn't think to turn away, eyes hauntingly flickering towards the opened door. "I . . . where's Kenshin?"

"He's talking with Dr. Genzai. Kaoru . . ." He gestured, motioning towards his face. "You're . . . You're bleeding."

And, oh, that was enough to snap her out of it. "I'm fine," she murmured, turning quickly away from Yahiko and opening her trunk. "I'm fine," she repeated. "But I do need to get dressed will you wait outside please."

"Kaoru?"

"I'm fine."

"Fine," he murmured, for once leaving without the name calling which in itself, spoke volumes of what he thought had happened she thought, frantically rummaging through her things until she found a small unscented box full of white powder.

Kenshin would notice and the old Kenshin might have even asked but this one . . . Kaoru cut off the thought, dabbing the forgotten towel by her basin before quickly padding her face dry and unceremoniously covering her face with the powdery substance. Quickly wiping off the excess with her hands as thoroughly as she could before picking up a small mirror she had always kept handy and dabbing a little of the ointment the doctor had left for the bruises the men had caused.

It wasn't until she had finished and was about to begin changing her clothes that she remembered Yahiko and the wide look in his eyes. She had to talk to him, she knew, she didn't want him thinking the worst. She was just . . . Just had a little bit of trouble coming back together this morning, that's all. She wasn't hurt beyond the few bruises and . . . She was fine, she thought. Hissing suddenly as her ribs protest the sudden movement she made as she picked up a clean kimono.

Kenshin, she remembered as she blinked a few rogue tears out of her eyes, would come into her room without knocking if he thought something was wrong. She had to hurry.

And that seemed more than enough incentive to get her past her pain, enough it seemed that she only winced now and again as she redressed the bandages on her ribs, eyes unseeing as she picked up a blue-red kimono, unfolding the neatly laid out package with hazardous movements that caused slight hisses of pain. As she bent over to pick up the fallen ribbon, she had seemed to miss before; there came an audible tap against the frame of her shoji a few feet away.

Pulling the old ribbon out of her hair, she walked towards the door, jerking it open immediately as Yahiko stepped back, his eyes going wide once more as they took her in a way that made her extremely nervous. "I'm fine." She told him, unconsciously wiping at her face, as he continued to gap at her.

"Come on," she commanded, smiling ever slightly as he continued to look at her without blinking. "Kenshin will worry . . ." And it's then she realized, no one knew—no one but her had had a chance to be alone with him. And—"Dr. Genzai . . ."

"Kaoru . . ."

Her hand tightened into a fist, wrinkling the smooth deep blue ribbon in her hand as she realized, he would tell Kenshin everything. And he would know, like he did everything else when it mattered to him, that those men had done a little more than frightened her. He would know. And just the thought, just the thought of him knowing and being disgusted was enough to set her feet moving, leaving Yahiko to follow behind her as she raced down the hall. Remembering belatedly the reason women did not run in these things.

"Kaoru . . ."

She almost tripped running head long into the doctor and nearly knocking him back with her weight when a steady hand pulled her back. Strength enough for two held her in place and brought her close before the doctor found his balance, laughing in great delight as Kaoru gazed from him to Kenshin; face carefully blank as she watched him warily trying to gauge his mood, when the doctor ruffled her bangs.

"I see your greeting for me hasn't changed," he murmured, showing fatherly amusement as Kaoru blushed, concluding from his mood . . . Her unreasonable reaction, was way off base, he wouldn't have said anything.

"Kaoru-chan?"

He loved her like his own; he wouldn't betray her to Kenshin. Though he had asked, she was sure he had asked. Dr. Genzai hadn't responded to him. He wouldn't respond to him. She should have remembered that. Kaoru no baka.

"Kaoru?" Dark edges and narrowed eyes, made her almost draw away.

"I'm fine," she countered, responding automatically to the flash of warning in Kenshin's tone. "I'm just . . . I was startled," and a half truth, she had found was much easier for her to mask, than an actual lie. As long she lowered her gaze and kept her head down, Kenshin believed.

"Gomen," the doctor apologized, looking little if sorry at all as he gazed fondly at her. "I hear Tae's brought you breakfast."

"Tae's here?"

"Aa," he smiled, taken in by her delight as a real smile crept across her face. "Come on," he encouraged, pulling her away with him a short distance before he encountered more than a little resistance. His own smile disappearing as he Kenshin's face lifted centimeters at a time and he at last realized what he'd could not put his finger on when they had spoken outside.

"You and Yahiko go ahead?"

And it was the choice of words, he realized, why he had not been able to pinpoint the difference. He had kept his back to him most of the time when they'd spoken but it had been his form of phrase, the lack of Sessha which should have tipped him off.

"Dr. Genzai—" She prompted, snapping him out of his thoughts, as he looked from him to her, Yahiko ran past him, the mention of food always tempting the boy.

"It's all right," she murmured, smiling at him reassuringly when he suddenly recognized the kimono as the package Kenshin had been brooding over the previous night.

"You'll be there shortly, won't you? Tae will be disappointed if you eat your breakfast cold." He pushed, watching Kenshin carefully as his words registered as something more than casual with the hitokiri.

"Yes," Kaoru assured, smiling softly and mostly for his benefit he was sure before grabbing Kenshin by the hand and leading him outside. Dark eyes worried as Kenshin glanced back, face unreadable and unyielding in the morning light.

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Her argument was flawed and though there existed few if valid reason's she could have brought up to make her point, his answer would have still remained the same. He could and would not concede, not to this. No matter how she implored him with her gaze, he would not sway. Ending the argument suddenly as he turned, stepping back inside the house as she followed quickly behind. Desperation clinging to her skin like the scent of flowers the rurouni had been so fond of.

"I'll tell them." She murmured, stepping close to him as they entered the hall. "I - I can explain."

"Kaoru . . ."

"I have to. It's . . . I'm not making excuses . . ." She trailed off— "I'm just . . ."

"Making sure they accept me," he murmured, watching her carefully as she glanced away. "I don't need for you to defend me," he reminded, stepping close into her space until she looked at him. Dark blue fixed on his features with such intensity, he quickly drew away; masking his retreat with indifference and coldness she had little choice but to accept. As she exhaled, following him into the room with such anxiety, he turned back to make sure she didn't faint. Eyes ever watchful of her movements as they took their seat, glancing at him ever briefly before imploring him, asking him without words, to reconsider her request, appealing to his better sense and hoping he would concede; asking him to leave, so she could explain to them what'd happened and why, most importantly, he was not the same.

"Oi!" A distraction, crooked grin and spikes of unruly hair; "Jou-chan," he breathed, dark brown gaze eating up the sight of her until she briefly glanced at him, smiling weakly in his direction, before returning her gaze to Kenshin.

"What's going on?" He asked. Coming to stop suddenly as Kenshin leveled him with a glance.

"Kenshin," she warned, pulling on his sleeve suddenly until he had to look at her. Had to wonder when she'd moved and made her way into his space.

"Please don't . . ."

Don't want—he almost asked, watching her intently as Sano hovered somewhere close, all but forgotten as Kaoru looked at him. Eyes narrowing in thought as she tried to understand why he didn't pull away. Or why, it seemed, he didn't even blink as he returned her gaze.

"Please . . ."

"I won't leave," he interrupted, voice barely above a whisper as he drove home the point. "Not now—" Maybe, not ever. "I'm not leaving you alone."

And there were ways, she could have interpreted that, ways in which she could have looked into his distance and paling eyes and have understood the depths of things he didn't mean to reveal. But Kaoru was young and very new to the complexities of his mind. Blinking through confusion and frowning before a soft exhale decreed her defeat, returning to her seat a foot away, unhappiness coming between them more conveniently than Sano's presence, which Kenshin had not forgotten.

"I looked for you this morning." Sano started, hands in his pocket as he contemplated the color of his eyes. "You weren't in your room."

"What did you want?"

"A word—" He murmured, becoming serious suddenly as Kaoru's gaze sharpened; "Alone."

"After breakfast," Kenshin agreed, dismissing him it almost seemed when he turned his face away. Gaze flickering towards Kaoru for a second, before his expression turned distant and aloof, eyes settling on a pale lavender which made her gasp as he cast his gaze towards the floor, allowing his bangs to shield his eyes as the others began to enter the room.

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Surprise, confusion and maybe even fear, turned their expressions grave and hollow as it sunk in; the rurouni had lost. Kenshin . . . Couldn't or wouldn't for that matter, ever want to be the same. He was no longer split between indecision and a set of double thoughts. Neither that nor the promise he had once confided he had made as he turned to the rurouni and left Battousai behind.

Deserting him in a battle field, where he left his sword, bound and shut away by guilt and overwhelming regret. Isolated by years and years of loneliness, carved and hollowed out by perceptions, the rurouni later forced on Battousai as his own—ever careful to dissociate himself of the traits he found not to be safe before joining society anew. Distilled and weaker than he ought to have been, a part of Kenshin went to sleep, imprisoned by his will and the thought of never finding love, the rurouni closed himself off, traveling the land he had so bravely fought to save.

And now, when it all seemed to have ended, coming out of it like some sort of long twisted dream, Kenshin found himself at a loss, unsure of the reaction they expected when they looked at him. Face blank of his thoughts as he gazed right back, wondering why they forced him into the role of villain before he'd even said a word when all he'd done was woken up.

"So—" Looking a little uncomfortable, Yahiko rubbed his neck, eyes cast down briefly before glancing towards Kaoru, who's fear was so palpable, he could taste it on the back of his tongue—"Are we still calling him Kenshin?"

"Yes, of course." She assured, breathing out in relief as the others tried to smile. "Kenshin's still Kenshin just . . . A little different." She reassured, glancing briefly at him before returning her gaze towards the room.

"But . . ." Kaoru tensed, afraid they would reject him when she'd tried so hard for them to accept him. "His memory will come back, won't it?" Tae asked. Her question addressed more towards the doctor whose gaze was fixed firmly at the wall behind them.

"It's hard to tell." The doctor murmured, frowning ever slightly as he cast his eyes downwards, eyes intent on his cold breakfast as the others continued to gaze at him. "He was hit pretty hard."

"But he's been hit harder." Sano interrupted. "When he fought against ShiShio, he was knocked out hard."

"No," Kenshin interrupted, immediately causing everyone to turn, eyes riveted to his face as Kaoru's breathing grew just a little bit labored. "He only winded me."

"I would suppose—" The doctor continued—"That the memory loss is more a response to the trauma than to the actual hit to the head. That however does not mean it was not partially responsible. I must conclude a great deal of strength was behind the blow if it managed to knock him out."

"Yes," Kaoru breathed, eyes glossing over just a bit. "He . . . He made sure it was just like before . . . Before he delivered the final blow."

"I see," the doctor nodded, looking briefly at Kenshin before casting his eyes back on his breakfast, the others following suit did the same.

As an awkward silence descended on the group Kaoru continued to wait in tensed silence, spine stiff and unmovable as she awaited an objection to his presence but when none came, she rose, casting him an apprehensive smile as he rose after her.

She wanted and probably even needed time alone to herself. But until his senses came back to him, he couldn't trust to let her wonder off on her own. Though soon, as soon as he could feel her without being near her once more, he'd take the necessary steps to keep her away . . .

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A light breeze through some trees and a distant call of birds filtered through the air, breaking up the silence between them as Kaoru awoke for the second time that day. Hair free of leaves she realized as she looked around, thinking Kenshin must have either cleared the spot or held her while she slept, as she spotted him a few feet away. She hoped for the latter, standing slowly as she saw him stiffen and turn.

Eyes like wild flowers in their unique shade of lavender, pale and shadowed with soft hints of gold, spread here and there around the irises. As she watched him watch her in return, she couldn't help but feel he wasn't completely lost to her, that the part which cared for her must have somehow not been lost.

"Kaoru?"

She knew she shouldn't love his voice, the color of his eyes or the way he'd upswept his hair. But he was still Kenshin and a part of her, the part that couldn't seem to completely dissociate him from the rurouni, couldn't help but be mesmerized by him.

"Did you want to go back?"

Yes. No. She didn't know. It was simply easier to shake her head and come stand besides him, overlooking the water in the river as another wind drifted through, tousling her hair in a way that made her shiver and cold, eyes a deep blue as she considered what to do. Now that she knew they wouldn't reject him and that he'd stay, most likely. She didn't know what to do. She was pretty sure he wouldn't be doing laundry or even going into the kitchen for that matter—but as to what he did intent to do, she didn't begin to have a clue.

"Kaoru?"

"I want to go into to town for a bit." She murmured, feeling suddenly shy. "I bought you something a couple of weeks ago but I . . . I didn't know if you'd take it."

She waited and waited for him to say something, anything. But he remained silent watching her in a way, that made her very self aware. As he continued to stare at her, she smiled, briefly before turning around, fixing her hair along the way as they made their way back onto the road.

Silent as a shadow besides her until they reached the little stand where she bought her kimono and she remembered suddenly that in her haste, she'd put it on. Kaoru no baka! Honestly, no wonder they'd all stared at her like she was nuts. The color was very vivid and she had hoped to wear it on the day the Westerner's liked to celebrate their new years. But now—Baka, she thought. Baka. Baka. Baka!

"Kaoru?"

She glanced up, eyes refocusing on his face as he pointed to the side.

"Oh—" she looked away, feeling the blush creep up on her cheeks as she spotted Mica. Returning her wave hello, "Wait for me here," she instructed, briefly glancing at him to make sure he understood before she followed her inside the little store.

Emerging moments later with a package safely tucked under her arm. A large smile stretching her face as a light blush spread across her cheeks. "It isn't the same color I had bought but I think you will like it better," she stated, extending him the package under her arms, as he gazed at it a long time before finally taking it into his arms.

An unreadable expression crossing his features as he bowed slightly in thanks, words unhindered by his past as he turned his back towards the crowd and pulled her by the hand, "Let's go home." He murmured, eyes scanning the people walking past them as he led her away from the crowded street.

Giving her the tiniest bit of hope that Kenshin, for all his coldness and sudden distance, was not so indifferent after all and maybe, maybe if she proved herself worthy, he might see her as something other than someone to protect.

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They were all outside the dojo, talking and waiting, in what appeared to be merriment when they approached—though despite the peaceful appearance, his keener sense of danger began to scream. Warning him to stop and back away, quickly before they noticed or could be forced to become involved. But Kaoru, who must have sensed his hesitation besides him, squeezed his hand and he realized that through out the walk, he had never let her go.

"Oi!" Sano screamed, waving them over while holding something in his hand.

It said something about his state of mind when rather then get annoyed by Sano's beckoning call; he felt a tremor of unease begin to coil around his thoughts.

"We got a telegram from the weasel," the ex-gangster smirked. "Her and the icicle want us to come for a visit."

"A visit," Kaoru squealed, running away from Kenshin as he reluctantly let her go. "Let me see that," she said, ripping the letter out of Sano's hand as he glared at her.

"You could've just asked for it." He barked, beginning to take a step towards her when Kenshin grabbed him by the collar.

"Don't," he warned, pulling him away and roughly aside as Sano gaped at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled, angrily rubbing at his neck as Kenshin stared him down. "There's something in there for you," he snapped, pointing at the letters as Kaoru looked up.

"What? Where?"

"One those is for Kenshin," Sano snapped, tossing her an annoyed look as she shuffled through the letters. "You might want to stop her," he told Kenshin, watching in wide-eyed amusement as she began to read something that quickly vanished from her hand.

"Kenshin!"

"Let's go," he told Sano, ignoring her angry rant as they disappeared down the road, the newly arrived letter safely tucked into his gi. As her ki began to flare, the others amusement registered along his senses even from a distance, he could feel them standing close to her. "What happened?"

Sano sighed. "Aoshi wants you to look in on something. He wouldn't go into detail in the letter but he stressed you come, you know how he is." He paused, expression growing serious as Kenshin turned. "I saw Enishi." He murmured, giving off anxiety in waves. "I was in Maebashi, getting ready to crash for the night when I saw him."

"And?" He was careful to control his reaction, no outward signs of vulnerability or even the tiniest shift in ki but Sano knew him best it seemed as he threw out his hands.

"What the fuck kind of answer is that? I cut my trip short to come back and warn you and that's all you're going to say—and, like it doesn't matter? What the fuck!"

"What do you want me to say?" Kenshin replied; emotions easily kept in check as Sano circled back and forth.

"I don't know but—and—isn't it. Che! I thought you'd worry or get pissed or something but this—" he gestured wildly, "Isn't it."

"What was he doing?"

"Buying supplies."

"You followed him?"

"Of course!"

"And you don't think he sensed you?"

"He's not a real Samurai?" Sano defended. "He doesn't know how?"

That might be the case. But Enishi was anything but stupid. "Where was he going?"

"Nagoya . . . That's close."

"Not to here."

"But to Aoshi."

"Aa," he agreed, turning around again as he headed further off the road. His senses ricocheting back to Kaoru and the others as he gained a little distance.

"Are we going?"

"Kaoru will want to go." He reasoned.

"So that's a yes?"

"Aa."

"So . . . Now that that's out of the way—" Sano trailed off, mouth curving into a slow easy smile. "Where'd you go?"

"Sano . . ."

"Oh come on," Sano wheedled, "You got to tell me something."

"Leave it alone."

"But I've always wondered . . ."

"Sano."

"Is this really who you are?"

And that was not what he was expecting to be asked. Though what could he say, how could he even answer that when he-himself all but barely knew.

"The rurouni . . . He wasn't really you, was it?" Sano continued, eyes distant on the horizon as Kenshin continued to remain silent. "That was just a mask, a necessity probably you were once forced to bare . . . to deal with the changes and all . . . Like Kaoru said . . ." He trailed off, turning around as he noticed Kenshin had come to pause.

"Said?"

"Said," Sano clarified. "She used to think you were one person, two halves of the same coin. But now . . ." He shrugged his shoulders. "She's confused I think like the rest of us . . ."

"Why?"

"Well because you hate the rurouni," Sano murmured, dark brown eyes keen on Kenshin's face as he remained silent. "Don't you?"

And in the silence that followed them, as Kenshin turned and tried his best to ignore him, the wind caught tendrils of his mane, swinging them high up in the air before allowing them to ease back down; Kenshin's back turned to Sano as he regarded something distant and unseen; the echoes of his; "Yes," brining calmness to the wind.

"Now leave it alone," Kenshin warned, as he focused on the clearing up ahead. Sano's amused façade failed to stay intact, wavering ever briefly when he noticed light golden eyes closing against the sun, expression hard to read, as he inhaled the surrounding scents of winter's swift approach.

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All right people I'm back. Posting a twenty seven page, second version, Ch. 3 much better I think then the first one I wrote. I do hope you all enjoy it. It's not too bad a cliff hanger, I think but not quite as exciting as I would have liked it either. I want action, angst, someone to kick the bucket or least a kiss damn it! Someone needs to second the motion, I say Aye. Aye! Let the next chapter, sweep you of your feet but until then I hope this holds you over.

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A/U: Well just a reminder, for those screaming, 'OOC and Kenshin would never do that,' may I just say, this is not Rurouni-Kenshin. This is Battousai. I do hope you remember that as we move further through the chapters, his character (that's Battousai for all those following along) will have to develop like the rurouni did through out the anime, seeing as he was forced away at the end of the ova . . . He now needs a chance to grown, all right. Now . . .

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Small Notes: We start at the edges of a dream, going through the appalling details of her attack as she's forced to relive her nightmare, fighting against the faceless men who attacked her a few days back (Echoes, Ch. 9). Now as expected, Kenshin is never far. And so it's easy for him to take her into his arms and shake her awake, waiting until his beckoning penetrates the fog.

As she starts awake, the hysteria she felt both then and now, so soon after her nightmare make her frightfully vulnerable and in that state, its only natural she cling to him for comfort, allowing his warmth and steady beat of his heart to lull her back to sleep.

It isn't strange or too far fetched too see, he is at times uncomforted by her closeness. Though when she is truly afraid, he seems to push aside his tittering decision to ignore her (in the romantic sense) so that he made comfort and care for her.

Ignoring the ways she feels, as he thinks only on how too sooth her. Still, he becomes angry as he recalls the details of her attack. Knowing full well that while they didn't actually finish what they'd started, they did come close. Frightening her to a level of insecurity he constantly has to watch, because of her attack, she's afraid of both the dark and being left alone. So he comforts and he coaxes until she feels safe enough to sleep.

It seems most peculiar, that while he has never admitted he loves her or even wants her. He is extremely protective, not to mention down right possessive of anything to do with Kaoru. All we have in terms of affection is a flitting word from the end of the last chapter as he refers to her as koishii . . .

Now as she awakes, he rises, leaving her in a complete state of confusion as he leaves without a backwards glance, explaining neither his presence nor her dream, which as it happens, Kaoru's mind ignores, refusing to recall details which might make real again.

And so she moves almost automatically in walking through the room and splashing her face, forgetting once to look away, as she catches sight of her reflection. Kaoru begins to scrub, trying to clean in a way that rubs her raw. And still she continues, rubbing and rubbing as someone knocks, opening her wounds, she realizes when it's pointed out to her by Yahiko, whom she thinks might assume the worst, at what she might have suffered at the hands of those men. As she bid him space, she quickly begins to cover up the act of her distraction; using rice powder to cover up the pinkness on her face in as much as she can before adding ointment to her wounds to keep them from bleeding more than they already have. Masking more than just her wounds, as she changes and leaves the room, Kaoru hides the emotional toll; the last few weeks have caused her.

She changes into the new kimono without even thinking, ignoring the appraising looks she gets, as it suddenly occurs to her that Kenshin alone with Dr. Genzai might force him to tell that which Kaoru had been afraid to reveal. And so she runs, ignoring Yahiko who trails behind her and down the hall—it seems only to run into the doctor, whose mood brightens when he sees she has finally woken up.

As they interact, it becomes clear to the older man that something just isn't right. Kenshin's eyes are light which on Kenshin may have revealed a few times. Still, its more than that the doctor feels, as Kenshin's hold on Kaoru becomes unyielding, the doctor becomes suspicious. Because his words, though meant to hurry them along, in hopes that he not question her anymore on her attack—register with Kenshin in every way he meant and none of what it might have sounded like. It's written on his face, in the coldness and blankness of his gaze as they head out into the yard, the doctor has little choice but to return to the others, while they have their chat. Though argument, is probably the best way to describe it, as we them outside, Battousai's personality becomes ever more clear. Walking away from the conversation, he deems done. Though as Kaoru runs after him, afraid to hold his hand as they enter hall, she tells him, in that round about way she had always used with the rurouni that she will be the one to tell them.

And from there, you can see what the argument had been about. She wanted him to stay outside while she spoke to the others in the room, to tell them and explain it seems as to why the rurouni was gone and why Battousai now took his place. But Kenshin refused, undeterred by her anger or unhappiness at the situation. Mainly it seems because he doesn't see why she needs to defend his actions, when he did nothing wrong. So they will accept him or they won't. But it's this which concerns her most, the fact that they might not. Because Kaoru alone feels that if he feels discomforted by murmurs or awkward glances, Kenshin as he is, will simply leave. The rurouni never really made any promises to her (Reference excludes the second set of OVA's). He is free to leave, as he once said he might have to do. And so, she can't help but be scared. The fact that they do, is a great relief.

And so soon after telling them, she is able to leave with a lighter heart. Kenshin trailing behind follows her out against his will. Because his senses, though sharp are not where he thinks they ought to be which he expects, if unconsciously to be at the level of his younger self.

As the scene changes, we see they somehow found their way outside. Kaoru having fallen asleep, wakes up near the river, Kenshin's presence only a few feet from where she'd slept, stiffens at her gaze. Turning as she approached him with some unreadable expression coloring his gaze.

And it's this, this uncertainty of closeness he seems reluctant to approach which give her hope, and she does hope, that somewhere in between the memories of who he was and who he never wishes to be again, that the part which cared for her, even if just as a friend, had somehow survived.

The first words out of his mouth are her name, voice smooth and tilting, more natural than the rurouni's placid tone which she can't help but think it's wrong. Because really, she should not be in love with the sound of his voice, the color of his eyes or anything else resembling the matter. Problem is, he's still Kenshin and for all her reluctance, she can't be anything but be kind, welcoming him into her heart even if she doesn't mean to.

It's in her nature to be sweet if temperamental at times, presenting him with a gift, as she would have done for someone else, touches him in a way he does not immediately reveal. But somehow mean more than he lets on because he takes her by the hand, leading her away from the crowded marketplace and back home. Without hesitation or fear of what someone might dare say.

The problem, as it turns out, begins when they approach the dojo, eyes focused on the congregating group ahead, make him slow his pace. Senses on high alert suddenly as Sano waves them over with something in his hand. And Kaoru, who he'd briefly forgotten, gives his hand a reassuring squeeze, reminding once more of attachment he can't ignore.

As they continue to walk, Sano's news of a letter arriving with invitation for them to come to and visit the Aoiya is greeted enthusiastically by Kaoru who he reluctantly lets go, eyes a pale hue as he stops Sano from attacking her. Seemingly uninterested as the ex-gangster reveals there's something in there for him to read alone.

Still he is prompted only, when Sano lets it slip, he should not let her read it—and only then does he take it, turning at her angry outburst, as he leads both Sano and himself away from the group. Senses keener than they've been in years, allow him the chance to step away. Knowing that Aoshi would only ever seek his help in something he could not or would not be capable of handling himself.

Either way, he asks Sano. Whose easy going banter, has not yet abandoned him. As he reveals part of the icicles' message, eyes full of mirth as he sees the similarities between two before suddenly becoming serious. Revealing what he had not been able to the night before, the reason for his return was to warn Kenshin, Enishi was not where he should have been.

And at this point it seems Kenshin's reaction might have been severe had he not been Battousai, whose control over his emotions had become iron clad, refusing to show anything even to a friend. It is only because they are friends, probably why Sano was able to get anything all, in ways of an answer, which in the ends doesn't reveal much in what he plans to do. Other than go to Kyoto because Kaoru wishes to go. No hint on what he plans to do or if he even considers Enishi anything like a threat now that he is no longer weak.

Because that is how he perceives his other self to have been, no matter that he is the same person or that at one point, he was of one thought. His previous weeks of restless, sleepless nights, on top of a high fever, he refused to take medicine for—weakened his psyche enough that when Kotetsu slipped something in his drink, his perceptions were easily skewed, the assassin coming down and nearly killing him and Kaoru pushed him enough to react as Kotetsu had hoped, falling in the trap set out for him in away that could not have failed—loosing himself along with memory in the fight that took the assassin's life.

Despite the serious of their conversion, Sano it seems can not be fazed for long, figuring if Kenshin's not worried then there's really no need to worry. As he changes topics, with a smile and amusement, he asks Kenshin where he went, easing him into an entirely different question Kenshin realizes until it's already been asked. Returning to a previously discussed topic (Echoes, Ch. 01)—he asks Kenshin what he had not been able to in front of the others earlier that morning. Asking him if this, if Battousai, is who he really was.

Kenshin's thoughts, as is no surprise, are not revealed as he remains silent, watching Sano with an unreadable expression until he reveals Kaoru's musings on his personality. Asking for clarification from Sano, who responds with vague confusion, being their unified state of mind.

When Kenshin asks, why? Sano does not hesitate to reveal they know he hates the rurouni—when he asks Kenshin if it's true, Kenshin turns away, seemingly distant, as he responds after a long pause, whispering, 'Yes.' As Kenshin's warning that he leave it alone now comes loud and clear in the change of color in Kenshin's eyes, Sano falters. Growing quiet as Kenshin closes his eyes, keeping his thoughts to himself as the sun begins to set and Kaoru and the others begin to get dinner done.

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And there you are people, nearly seven pages of summary and explanations for your convenience. I hope I caught it all but like always if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm just an email away all right.

Thank you for reading. And please, don't forget to review.