Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. I also don't own a Ferrari.
Another offering from the beer fueled Fifth Horseman. Enjoy. And by all means, review.
Under The Gun
In a shadowy corner of a large warehouse building, the thin form of one Shinji Ikari could be seen backed up against the wall. He was seated on the floor with his hands behind his head and his fingers locked together, like some fugitive that had just been brought down by the law. But he wasn't a fugitive and it wasn't the law that had captured him. He was being held hostage and he was quite sure that his captor was a lunatic.
'And here I thought life would start to resemble something normal after we averted Third Impact,' he thought.
The day had started out like many others. Asuka yelled at him to get his lazy hentai ass out of bed, all the while complaining because it was Misato's turn to cook breakfast. While the purple-haired beauty's attempt at the culinary arts that morning hadn't been great, it wasn't as bad as usual. Asuka wasn't convinced, but Shinji knew better because on the days when Asuka was staying over at Hikari's or out shopping for extended periods of time, he had been attempting to teach Misato how to cook. It wasn't easy but she wasn't a complete lost cause either.
The problem was keeping her focused. She enjoyed teasing him too much, and her mind would wander from the task at hand because of it. Truthfully, he didn't really mind. It served to reaffirm to him that she cared and he knew she still felt bad about how far their little family had drifted apart. Teasing was just one of her ways of letting 'her children' know that she loved them. But he was making progress with her and he found that he actually liked doing it. He liked to spend time with her and it made him feel a lot closer to the woman who had taken him into her home and who had become a very important part of his life.
However, what he could really use right now was that same woman and her military training to get him away from his captor. How exactly he got into this position, he wasn't entirely sure.
His captor's eyes darted back and forth nervously. Sweat slicked hands held the gun firmly and kept the business end pointed at the hostage. Someone would come to retrieve the boy soon and there could be no mistakes made if demands were to be met and a safe escape assured. The hostage taker wasn't after material gain, information was the commodity in demand and the hostage would suffer if it wasn't given. Perhaps taking the boy hostage wasn't fair, there were other ways to acquire the information after all, a number of which had already proven fruitless, but the opportunity had presented itself and it was too good to pass up. If all went well he would suffer nothing more than a little humiliation. If things went badly, well, that was up in the air and thinking about it was an unneeded distraction. Soon, no matter which way things went, this would be resolved.
Misato Katsuragi moved quietly towards the back of the warehouse, her weapon held at the ready. Shinji being taken hostage was a totally unexpected turn of events. There had been no warning, no indication whatsoever that he was being targeted and it was only by chance that she had become aware of the problem, catching a glimpse of him from a distance. His captor seemed to be waiting for someone to discover them, since nothing had yet been said, or done, to draw attention to the situation.
The hostage taker looked nervous, their body language marking them as an obvious amateur which was a definite plus for Misato with her military training. If she could get close enough to them without being discovered she could take out the target cleanly and get her Shinji-kun back unharmed. For his part Shinji seemed to be taking it pretty well. He didn't look scared or nervous, which gave her a feeling of relief. The boy was still shy and a bit jumpy at times, but over the last year and a bit he had made great progress and was beginning to learn how to enjoy his life. He was even beginning to give her back some of the teasing she had been giving out and she found it to be a lot of fun to kid around with him like that.
As she made her way still closer to the scene, she puzzled at the reasoning for taking Shinji hostage. What could his captor possibly want? He was just a teenaged kid fresh off his sixteenth birthday. His days of piloting an Eva were behind him, he was just a normal kid trying to live a normal life. He was no threat to anyone.
What she did know for certain was that if anything happened to him his captor wouldn't be able to find a mountain high enough or a hole deep enough to hide from her wrath.
'Why is this happening?' Shinji asked himself again. 'I really could have gone through my day without this. At least I haven't been beaten up or shot. Yet."
"That's far enough, I know you're there," his keeper called out to the shadows in front of them. "Come out where I can see you."
'Damn!' Misato swore to herself. She had hoped to get closer. "All right, I'm coming out. Just relax."
"Slowly," she was ordered. "And don't try anything stupid."
Misato did as she was instructed, her gun angled downward but not away from the target.
"Put the gun down and slide it towards me with your foot."
Misato hesitated for a second and a shot was fired, striking the floor between Shinji's knees.
"Are you nuts!?!" Shinji shrieked, the round coming too close to his manhood for his comfort.
"Put the gun down now and kick it towards me! Don't make me say it again!" For emphasis, the barrel of the just fired weapon was aimed at Shinji's crotch.
"Alright!" Misato agreed quickly. "I'm putting it down." She placed her weapon on the ground and nudged it away from her with her foot.
"Now put your hands up," she was ordered. She complied. "Are you alone?"
"Do you see anyone else?" Misato asked.
"Don't get smart with me!" The gun was uncomfortably jabbed into Shinji's groin.
"Hey!" he protested.
"Shut up you!"
Misato took a cautious step forward while the gunner was distracted.
"Stay right where you are!" she was ordered coldly. "One wrong move and the baka gets it!"
"Fine," Misato said, keeping her hands up and in view. She would have to be very careful. "Why have you taken Shinji hostage? What do you want Asuka?"
"I want some answers," the redhead growled.
"About what?" Misato asked.
"Don't play dumb with me Misato, you know what I'm talking about."
"I'm not playing dumb," Misato shot back angrily. "And I have no idea what you're talking about."
"C'mon, it's obvious that there's something going on between you and the pervert here."
"The only thing that's obvious is that you're out of your mind!"
She jabbed Shinji with the gun again. "Don't push me Misato, I have your play toy at my mercy."
"My play toy?" Misato questioned.
"Her play toy?" Shinji echoed.
"Shut up Third," the German admonished. "You sound like a parrot."
"Have you been in my beer Sohryu?" Misato asked, her voice taking on a menacing tone. There were two things you didn't mess with: Misato's beer and Misato's Shinji.
"I wouldn't touch that pigswill you call beer if I was dying of thirst," Asuka spat. "Admit it, you and the baka are doing perverted things with each other when I'm not home."
"WHAT!?!" Shinji and Misato both exclaimed at the same time.
"Don't deny it," she huffed, sure of herself. "The baka's probably having perverted thoughts about you right now. Or me, the idiot probably has Stockholm Syndrome already."
"Suuure," Misato drawled. "I can see a hostage falling in love with his captor when she has a gun to his family jewels."
"Well, we are talking about Shinji after all," Asuka insisted.
"Hey!" Shinji protested.
"So do you have perverted thoughts about me Shinji-kun?" Misato teasingly asked him. Maybe she could use it to distract Asuka.
"Misato!" he protested, his face turning red.
"Well?"
"I...I wouldn't call them perverted," he admitted very quietly.
"He's probably thinking about dousing you in beer and licking it off," Asuka snarled. "Or the other way around. It does sound like something you'd think of."
"Hmmm," Misato hummed, lost in thought.
"Misato!" Shinji yelled again.
"We're not doing anything perverted when you're out Asuka," she assured her.
"Really?" Asuka said, clearly not believing her. "Then why is it that the two of you always look like you've been up to something when I come home, hmmm? Or how about your newest trick? You know, the two of you take off in the car for a couple of hours and come back with that same look. Sound familiar? Getting a little in the back seat are you?"
"Jealous?" Misato needled her.
"Of you and the baka?! Don't make me laugh. I just want you two sick freaks to admit it!"
A quick tri-burst of sound caught their attention. Asuka felt three impacts against her chest, the feel of the blows and her surprise at this turn of events causing her to stumble away from her hostage. She looked down at her chest in horror as she saw three splotches of brilliant, blue paint.
"WONDERGIRL!" she thundered.
Out of the shadows to Shinji's right stepped his sworn protector, Rei Ayanami. Her borrowed camouflage clothing hung loosely on her slim frame and the mandatory safety goggles shielded her crimson eyes. The muzzle of the paintball gun clutched in her hands never strayed from Asuka.
"Do not move or I will shoot you again," Rei warned in her usual, quiet voice.
"Thanks Rei!" Shinji said as he moved away from Asuka and picked up his own discarded paintball gun before moving to stand next to her. "For your information Asuka, I've been giving Misato cooking lessons when you aren't home. We didn't want you to know because we knew you would have just made a big production out of it."
"Cooking lessons?" Asuka mumbled.
"And in return I've been giving Shinji driving lessons," Misato explained.
"Driving lessons?" Asuka mumbled again. She was beginning to feel somewhat small. "So the two of you haven't been…"
"Licking beer off of each other?" Misato offered.
"Making out in the back seat?" Shinji put in.
"Doing the nasty?" Rei added.
Everyone looked at her in disbelief.
"Well… I…um… that is…" Asuka was actually at a loss for words.
Rei broke the moment by turning her gun on her former battle commander and shooting her twice in the chest.
"Hey!" Misato shouted. "What was that for?"
"For thinking about you and Shinji licking beer off of one another," the pale girl answered.
"Oh, so that offends you does it?" Misato teased.
"No," Rei answered. "But I do believe that strawberry sauce would be more palatable."
While Misato and Asuka stood there in shocked disbelief, Rei took the opportunity to shoot both of them one more time before grabbing a bewildered Shinji by the wrist and quickly disappearing into the shadows. If anyone could have seen her face, they would have seen a slight, satisfied smile.
'I believe that playing paintball is very much to my liking.'
Thank's for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are welcomed, and greatly appreciated.
And please check out my other stories. You know how to find them.