Breathe

In and out, in and out.

XO

Zoro had never really thought about dying.

And even when he did, it was only to hope that he went down fighting (or even better-- winning) or just to hope that he didn't die before fighting Mihawk.

But then he met Luffy who, despite being a complete dumbass sometimes, greets them with grins all through the day and makes decisions none of them had the guts to make. He met Nami who, despite being a greedy witch bound straight for hell, lends him money when he needs it, and hasn't collected her interest yet. Sanji, whiny annoying fucking perverted cook who makes possibly the best food on the entire Grand Line. Not only was it good, there was a lot. 'Nuff said.

And there's Usopp, who cowers behind him and orders him around like a dog, but the liar told stories that kept the entire crew entranced (and away from him during naps) so he was forgiven. Chopper, who had saved him from bleeding to death several times since he joined the crew, and Zoro's grateful for it, even if the reindeer lectures him repeatedly about training while injured.

Robin, who watched them all with aloof amusement; it pisses him off sometimes, but she knows more than all of them put together and he's grateful for all the times she's helped them out and no one but him noticed. She's a lot like him, but it's still hard to understand the stuff that woman does.

Zoro thought he'd found friends when he'd met Johnny and Yosaku, who fussed and cooked, made threats on his behalf and never backed down until they had their asses thoroughly kicked. And maybe he did.

Maybe Kuina was a friend, who pushed him forward and urged him to get stronger (by telling him he was weak weak weak) and sometimes, when they weren't arguing or he wasn't getting his ass kicked, she'd offer to take him to check out her dad's sword collection.

Zoro's had friends for as long as he can remember; for some reason drawn to him and curious, always the strangest ones, but never like these.

Maybe he's just never thought about the consequences of having these friends who were closer-than-family. Never thought that such flighty, quirky, annoying, bitchy, cowardly friends could make him want to protect them all with everything he has and everything he doesn't.

It was that last fight, plugged with bullets and bleeding harder than ever before that he'd realized his heart was racing and his hands were trembling because for the first time in his life, he was afraid to die. Afraid of not being able to see these people who had wormed their way so deep into his heart that he doesn't think he'll ever be able to get them the hell back out.

And maybe he's afraid to lose all the time he thought he'd have with them, and maybe the thought of never being able to see them again scared the shit out of him 'cause it was something he'd never thought about, 'cause it had never seemed possible.

So Zoro steadies his hands and takes a deep, slow breath.

He keeps on fighting.

XO