I wasn't really going keep this Fic going. But it was pointed out to me that there aren't that many Mac/Lindsay fics so I figured I might as well. I also just recently watched "Corporate Warriors" and "Grand Murder at Central Station" and there's just something about a man in authority
She let the information sit with Danny for a moment. She loved Mac. It wouldn't change. Nothing at work changed. Mac did not give her easier cases, Mac treated her no differently. Mac resisted for as long as he could, they both did. But they both could not deny their feelings, or the spark. She swallowed hard, she was ill. All of this was her worst nightmare, someone finding out. Oh, and the acid poisoning didn't help.
"Danny," she said looking at him as his face seemed to swirl around the room. "We didn't mean for it to happen."
Maybe he nodded. It was hard to tell with his image so blurred.
"He was sweet to me. I was new in this city, alone, no one welcomed me here." Danny looked to the ground, he certainly hadn't. "Mac gave me tips, places to go, things to learn. At first is was all second-hand. Then he came with me. He showed me things. He listened to me. He was alone, without Claire. I listened to him." She felt as if liquid were pouring into her mouth through her molars. It was a foreign taste of some foreign liquid.
She looked to Danny's blurry face. It seemed to be examining his shoes. There was the soft whir of the ocean behind her ears, somewhere. But she didn't hear Danny,'s voice so she kept going. She knew he was part of the team they guarded themselves against for so long. But she felt so tired, so weak. She knew she wasn't making sense, but she desperately wanted Danny to understand.
"We spent time together. Danny I don't know when the line was crossed. Soon, I couldn't imagine my days off without him. We spent every off minute together. I knew I loved him and he was home to me."
Danny swallowed hard. He tried to look into her eyes but he could tell her pupils were dilated and she was drifting on the effects of either the acid or the pain killers they gave her to combat it. She was drifting, and he ambushed her and he felt a pit of guilt in his stomach. He felt the pit of regret that he had not been kinder to her when she was new in town. He could have shown her the city. He could have been the man to introduce her to New York. But he hadn't been. That was his choice. Mac had been. And now she loved Mac, and that kicked the air out of his lungs.
Lindsay, despite the spinning image before her, could smell the weakness. She was angry and bitter that Danny could push her now. But she was determined not to show the weakness in front of him.
"He asked me to the Mayor's dinner with him, but we agreed to keep it quiet. And then our pagers went off. And we ended up lying to you," She paused, she knew now she must move in for the kill. "Well, I did. Mac told you where he was. I lied to you to keep our secret." There, I lied to you, for us.
Danny shifted in his chair
"But that night, I went home with him. He is strength to me. He is my lifeline. I cannot inhale or exhale without thinking of him, his smell, the depth of his eyes, the touch of his skin." She stopped and Danny shifted again. She knew now she was being cruel, so she paused. That, and she thought she may vomit again. She felt as though there were no lining in her stomach any longer. She bit it back.
"Danny?" she asked.
"Mmmm?" he was reeling. She was reeling, for different reasons but they both knew it.
"I'm feeling a bit like shit right now." He rolled his eyes. He should not have confronted her when she was ill. She could actually still die from these wounds. But he didn't let his mind rest there for very long. He was angry with her for spurning him.
"I love him."
"I know," he paused. "Now."
"You can tell his superiors if you want. But he hasn't treated you, or anyone else unfairly."
"I know." She could tell he sounded sick too, so she decided to just give him one last shot for clarity.
"If this did kill me, someone besides him should know that I am utterly and completely devoted to him. I will be cheated of the life I want with him, the lifetime of waking up next to him and feeling his arms around me." You jackass, Lindsay added in her head.
Danny's eyes closed. He absorbed her words, and he knew why she was so forceful in them. She was in a hospital bed and he chose now to confront her on what he knew for weeks. He thought about trying to make a case against Mac. Mac still wore his wedding band, from a marriage with another woman. When this accident happened Mac put his reputation before Lindsay's need for comfort. How devoted could he be to Lindsay? Danny considered voicing these thoughts. He didn't want Lindsay to be with Mac, he also didn't want her to get hurt. But she would say she knew Mac better than he did. And that was very likely true.
"Am I interrupting something?" Mac asked in the doorway taking in the image of both Danny and Lindsay with their eyes closed.
"No." She answered succinctly, completely. "But I think I may be sick again."
Mac walked quickly to her side. Danny didn't move.