Ah okay. I've currently got a writer's block for Rose Thorns (JtHM fic) so I'm writing this for a bit of fun. Now, I've had the idea for this for about... what... a month now? I'm gonna write little fancomics with it, and put it up on DA maybe, but for now I'm gonna turn it into a fic. Now, I know this has been done many, many times, and I apologize if any character seems OOC. Now, I've also changed a lot of things about the characters too. Like names, and relations to other characters. Like, Dib and Gaz are... cousins now, I guess? But they have robots for Vernon and Petunia, and Gaz is Gazedly. See what I mean? I've never wrote a fanfic with Harry Potter in it, so I dunno how this is gonna turn out. I'm going to include a cast list in case any of you get confused. Aren't I nice?

Harry- Dib

Ron- Keef

Hermione- Gretchen

Malfoy- Zim

Crabbe- Mini Moose

Goyle- GIR

Pansy Parkinson- Zita

Dumbledore- Tallest Purple as Professor Purplegore

Snape- Tallest Red, Professor Snapple

McGonagall- Ms. Bitters as Bittgonagal

Flitwick- Old Kid

Sprout- Bloaty

Quirrell- Mr. Dwicky

Hagrid- The hobo from Gaz, Taster of Pork as Hoborid

Voldemort- Senior Diablo

Sirius- Johnny C

Lupin- Edgar Vargas

James- Prof. Membrane

Lily- Devi D

Aunt Petunia- Robot

Uncle Vernon- Robot

Dudley- Gazedly

Neville- Squee

Now, some of these characters will not be in this story (Like Lupin, Edgar), but I added them in case I decided to do most, if not all, the books. Now, FINALLY, on with the fic.

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A soft breeze filled Piglet Drive as a figure appeared at the end of the street. Street lights revealed the figure's details. The figure had pale green skin, a long silver beard, and violet eyes. His blue, pointed hat was about a foot tall, with small yellow stars on it, and black attenae were poking through two holes in the hat. He had no boots; he hovered. This man's name was Professor Purplegore.

Professor Purplegore reached into his blue coat and pulled out a small device that shot out a red light when squeezed. He waved it once, and all the lights in the street lamps sputtered and went out. He hovered slowly down the side-walk, his violet eyes focused on a disgruntled looking gray cat. When he reached it, however, the cat was gone, and in it's place was a harsh looking woman, her steel gray hair pulled into a tight bun, a long, black dress on with black boots, and thick rimmed glasses.

"Good evening, Professor Bittgonagal," Professor Purplegore said. The woman said nothing, though she did growl slightly. "I... suppose you've heard?" Purplegore pressed on. The woman narrowed her eyes.

"Yes... and I suppose the little brat is coming to live here?" she hissed. Purplegore drew back slightly.

"Well, yes," he stammered. The lady was really creeping him out. There was a low rumble in the distance, but neither of them noticed it.

"Well, he'll be miserable," Bittgonagal said, though she didn't sound very sympathetic. "I've been watching them all day. The little girl in there- didn't catch her name- was trying to pull the wires out of the roboparents. She broke everything in the house and ate hotdogs all day! What kind of a life will he have?" Despite the serious questions, she still didn't sound sympathetic at all.

"That's not the point," Purplegore said sternly. "The point is, he'll have to live here... until he's ready to know the truth."

The rumbling was getting louder, and suddenly a dazzling light was blinding the two people. A gigantic unicycle landed in front of them, with a gigantic man riding it. The man turned off the flashlight he was holding and stepped off the unicycle, a small bundle in his arms. The man looked very ragged. He was dressed in a dark, frayed over coat and black pants, with enormous black boots. His face was almost completely hidden in a gray beard and mustatche, along with his bushy gray eyebrows. He had an ear of corn sticking out of one of his pockets.

"Good evening, Hoborid," Purplegore said, inclining his head slightly and staring over his half-moon glasses at the man.

"Evenin'," the man said. "I... I got him sir." Hoborid nodded down at the bundle in his arms. The bundle stirred slightly but made no sound.

"Where did you get that ridiculous source of transportation?"

"Oh, this?" Hoborid gestured towards the unicycle. "I borrowed it, from young Johnny C.!"

"Oh... oh I see..." Purplegore said softly, staring at the unicycle. He then took the bundle from Hoborid's arms and strode towards the house swiftly. The other two followed close behind him. Purplegore set the bundle down in front of the house's door and shifted the cloth a bit, revealing a baby. It was growing a little bit of hair, which was jet black. A lightning shaped scar stood out brilliantly against his pale skin. The baby was fast asleep. Purplegore took out a floppy disc and layed it next to the baby, and Hoborid let out another yell.

"I... I can't believe it! Devi and Membrane dead! It's so sad it makes me wanna stab myself in the face with a spork!"

"Shut up, before you get us caught!" Bittgonagal hissed. Hoborid sniffled slightly but made no other noise. Purplegore hadn't noticed, however; he was looking at the small baby, thinking about it's fate.

"Good luck, Dib Potty," he whispered. He turned and bade the others goodbye, made his way back up the street before disappearing. Professor Bittgonagal turned back into the gray cat and sped off, and Hoborid jumped back on his unicycle, turned the flashlight back on, and was gone.

And at the door, Dib Potty rolled over, grasping the floppy disc in his hand and cuddling it. He had no idea that he would be awoken by the sprinklers going off, be punched and tortured for years to come by his cousin, and had no idea that right that moment, people were raising cans of Diet Poop, proclaiming "To Dib Potty, the Boy Who Didn't Die!"

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Aaaaaaand that was... no. I don't even know what happened. Hah. The Boy Who Didn't Die. hehe makes me giggle for some reason. A lot of stuff probably needed a lot more detail but I dunno. Tell me what you think.