TITLE: Woke up this Morning

AUTHOR: Kiwilass

SUMMARY: Response to Challenge 310 Woke Up In Vegas by Jinni of twisiting the hellmouth. Faith ends up in bed with John Constantine from the movie Constantine.

DISCLAIMER: The characters from BTVS and Angel belong to Joss Whedon the characters from Constantine the movie belong to Kevin Brodbin. The character of Constantine from the D.C. comic series belongs to Alan Moore.

Woke up this Morning

August 2005

Faith woke up in a strange hotel room with nicotine stains on the ceiling, the roof fan going round half heartedly.

She could hear the tinny sound of Kelly Clarkson's Addicted, and remembered Xander had programmed that as her ring tone last night, as a joke. It was her own cell phone ringing. Faith reached on her bedside table for it, knocking over an empty bottle of bourbon.

Holding the phone in front of her, she looked at who the incoming call was from, it was Xander.

Faith was becoming hideously aware of a man's arm flung over her waist, but she would deal with that in a second.

"Hey." She said croakily, feeling her body under the sheets. Yep she was naked, and she could feel the guy's morning erection poking into her backside.

"You okay? You weren't in your hotel room this morning." Xander's voice came concerned down the line.

"Fine Harris, meet you in the lobby at one o'clock okay?" Faith told him, pulling away from the man next to her. She recognised him from the night before.

"What time is it?" the man said, moving away carefully to the opposite side of the bed. His voice sounded raspy too.

"Um eight thirty." Faith put her hand to her head, to still the throbbing. "This your motel room?" What the hell was the guy's name?

"Yeah." The dark haired man informed her, reaching for a packet of cigarettes beside the bed. It was empty, he threw it away in disgust. He drank from a bottle of water he had by his bed. As he put it back, his eyes focused on a document lying on the bedside table, he snorted in disbelief.

"Hey Faith, your last name Woods nee Lehane?" he asked her, reading the piece of paper.

"Yeah," Said Faith, reaching across him for his water bottle, trying not to touch her left breast against his bare chest.

The guy had a good body, weird tattoos on his fore arms obviously mystical. She was certain he was a demon hunter, quite well known apparently. Xander had introduced them to each other last night. Faith could remember that much.

"You're John right?" Faith confirmed, pleased the name had come back to her. The guy had seemed handsome, for someone in his early forties in that demon bar last night. But he sure looked like hell this morning, from the neck up.

"Yeah, John Constantine, and according to this piece of piece of paper your husband." Constantine informed her calmly. "Viva Las Vegas."

"Oh Christ, we didn't!" Faith gasped in utter horror, snatching the paper from his hand. She read it disbelieving, not quite taking it in.

"It's like I'm a supernatural Brittany Spears." She whispered appalled to herself.

John took her left hand and examined it. She noticed the nicotine stains like her own on his right hand fingers. There was a gold band glinting, on the spot that had been occupied by a platinum ring for eighteen months.

"That is a very cheap ring. Probably turn your finger green." He added. He removed her ring and then his own, dropping them in the trash can where he'd put the empty cigarette packet. "You're human right?"

"Yeah, I'm a slayer." Faith understood where the guy was coming from with that remark, one night stands in Demon bars were pretty risky. Faith got out of bed and started pulling on her clothes.

Faith decided to share her anguish. "I can't believe I got frickin married again, my divorce only came through this frickin' month. That's why I was in that dive last night. I was celebrating my divorce papers catching up with me yesterday."

"Celebrating or drowning your sorrows?" John asked. sitting up in bed and watching her dress. He admired her body, noticing her tattoo in the daylight. He realised she wasn't going to comment on his last remark.

"Do you want to get coffee?" he suggested.

"Yeah, I guess, we have to discuss a frickin annulment may as well do it over breakfast." Faith pulled on her boots. "Goddamnit." She said in frustration. "Why would we do that, get hitched and all?"

"I remember making love with you, in a back room at the bar." John told her. "Do you remember that?"

Faith shook her head. "Don't mean to put a dampener on your prowess Constantine, but it's a total black out for me from ten o'clock onwards." This was such a fucking set back for her. One night stands with guys she met in bars, she thought she'd got past that. What the hell kind of friend was Harris anyways, leaving her drunk in a bar full of demons and angels?

Faith looked at John slightly embarrassed, buttoning up the back of her red satin dress. "I'm sure I was great." She joked.

John snorted. "If you say so. I'm blacked out from twelve onwards." John worked out, "Though I think I remember us both throwing up in the bathroom, when we came in the door."

Faith shook her head. "Can't even remember that. Though my mouth tastes like I did." She checked her hand bag for her cigarettes. "Oh Fuck! My passport, English drivers licence and divorce decree are all missing."

John lent over the bed, to look in his own wallet in his trousers on the floor. "So's my drivers licence and passport, shit."

"Oh fuck, this is way bad I'm meant to be flying back to London tonight." Faith looked furious at herself and the world. "I travel on an Irish passport." The nearest Irish consulates were in Reno or San Francisco, which was closer?

"We must have used the documents to get married." John reasoned, he looked at their marriage licence again. "We got married at the (oh god) Klingon Space Chapel."

"Okay, now that's the silver lining to getting my passport lost, what would make me scream out loud about yesterday I don't care about now." Faith said lighting up. She tossed him her packet there was one left.

John lit up the cigarette, impressed she'd given him her last one and looked at their marriage licence. "The chapel is in the strip down the road, from the demon bar we met in." he looked at a complimentary tourist book the hotel provided. "It opens again at ten apparently so we have time to get there. To also buy pain killers."

"Sounds good." Faith approved, "We can find out how to annul this marriage."

"But it's going so well." John quipped. "I better get some nicotine gum. I've really fallen off the wagon this month."

"I can go with out smoking for a couple of days, but when I get drinking…"Faith smiled at him.

The two addicts looked at each other understandingly.

"Tell me about it." John said. He got out of bed and pulled on his boxers. "I'm just having a shower. Hey honey, could you make coffee?" he said it in a fifties sitcom tone way and Faith laughed.

The guy seemed pretty decent, Faith reflected she put the jug on and made instant coffee. He was quiet and she liked that.

When John came out of the bathroom she went in and freshened up. At least she always carried a toothbrush and deodorant in her handbag. Faith travelled so much, she didn't like to be caught out.

Dear god she looked gruesome, mascara all over her face, lipstick smeared and stained round her mouth. Did Constantine have moisturiser? She went through his toilet bag.

Faith looked at Constantine's toiletries with interest, this guy travelled as much as she did, judging from the hygiene and grooming products from all parts of the world.

Faith went out to the main room, happy to know she wasn't looking like a panda anymore. This experience could have been worse, at least the guy wasn't trying anything on.

The man was starting to look tiredly handsome again as he drank his coffee. Faith looked carefully at their marriage licence again.

"John you were born in '64, seriously dude I thought the age gap of me and my first husband was bad, but ten years seems nothing now." Faith chuckled in disbelief.

John looked at her wearily. "You're so enthusiastic, I figured you were under twenty five when I met you."

Faith looked at him provocatively. "And you still had sex with me, you are a bad, bad man."

"Come on child bride," Said John amused, putting his coffee cup down, "Let's go find a drug store."