A/N This takes place the first night of Eragon's and Arya's arrival in Ellesméra after the feast…it is meant to help explain Arya's change in disposition the next time Eragon sees her.
Later that night Arya found herself wandering the vast corridors of Tialdarí Hall. It seemed but a few years that she last walked these halls freely…when in reality it was 70 years. Of course, while she shuttled Saphira's egg between the Elves and Varden she had returned to Ellesméra - but she never considered it her home during that time. How could she call it home? She had essentially been exiled, cast out by the Queen. Her own mother refused to see her. Blame couldn't lie solely with the monarch however, for Arya herself had willingly left the elven capital and life of an heir.
And now here she was, back in the ancestral halls of her royal family. And yet, the comfort they once held her in was no longer there. She thought back to the greeting she was given by her mother only hours ago. Had she really mourned her daughter's loss so deeply? Surely the queen had not been as heartbroken as she had let on. After all, she had really been dead to her mother for seven decades. No, Arya could not accept her mother's stated grief.
Suddenly, a thread of guilt crept into her consciousness. Did she really think her own mother so heartless? Perhaps it was just the bitterness speaking. Perhaps the queen had grieved when she believed her daughter dead. But she never showed sign of wavering the past 15 years in which she had returned to Ellesméra several times…never to be acknowledged by the queen as anything more than a dutiful ambassador. They had never spoken in that time. So how could she now believe her mother would grieve her actual death?
She was so unsure about the whole situation - a sentiment that was alien to Arya. And as such, she didn't know what to do. If her mother had genuinely reconciled then perhaps she should stay…but what if she had just been so relieved to see her alive? She had to admit that Islanzadí had grieved her perceived death. As an elf had told her upon her arrival in Ceris, "Islanzadí was sorely wounded by grief when you were captured. She was - she is - sick at heart." But was her new willingness to re-embrace her daughter a result of remorse for what had split them 70 years ago, or was it a product of the relief in seeing Arya alive?
Thinking back to that day so many decades ago, Arya couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that set into her hands. She had cast it from her mind for so long, suppressing the emotions that inevitably surfaced with the memories. She was so set upon serving her people in the way she saw fit. She was so set on endangering herself for the welfare not only of her own race, but of all others beyond the confines of Du Weldenvarden. She thought her mother selfish for refusing to support her decision, for refusing to allow the elven princess to undertake such a daunting appointment.
It was upon their royal duties that she once believed her mother disagreed, but the more she allowed herself to think about it she couldn't help but wonder if it was more personal for her mother. Islanzadí had lost her mate, Evandar, to duty. Perhaps, Arya wondered, her mother refused to accept Arya's choice out of fear…out of fear of losing her.
Nevertheless, there was something to be said for coming home. She had secretly longed to embrace her mother and let the past be the past for some years now. And now she had the chance to do that. There would still be discord over her decision, that she knew, but she was hopeful they could move past it.
Deciding she had meandered through Tialdarí Hall long enough she decided to return to her chambers. They were as she had left them, which did not entirely surprise her. It was likely that Islanzadí held out hope her daughter would return for forgiveness for a decade or two into her exile. After it was evident that was not going to happen, she supposed her mother had simply forgotten about the princess' quarters. Regardless she was glad to be able to return to such familiar surroundings. She spent much time traveling, especially the past 15 years as she transported Saphira's egg, and thus had not been able to call any particular space her own.
Walking deeper into her living room she stopped at the small portraits that adorned the wall. Lightly sweeping her hand to bottom of the frame she was swept with bright memories before be engulfed in sadness. "Fäolin," she whispered.
"I have mourned his loss as well daughter." Arya spun on her heels at the voice that came from the doorway. She had been so swept up in her thoughts that she had not sensed the queen's presence. She chided herself for such a lapse of vigilance, but attributed it only to the safety she felt in being home. The queen stepped further into the room as she touched her fingers to her lips.
Mimicking her mother, Arya touched her lips and started their ancient greeting, "Atra esterní…"
The queen swept forward and took hold of Arya's hands, "Stop my daughter, please, you needn't honor me." There was a still a hint of sadness in her voice. Arya slipped her hands out of Islanzadí's before turning away slightly.
"I am glad to be home mother." Her voice was slightly louder than a whisper, the apprehension clearly audible. After what seemed like so much longer than the seconds it actually was, Arya returned her gaze to the queen, extending her arm to towards the green sofa in the center of the room before seating herself. It was time to mend her broken past.
I'm sorry if you think it's too short or even worse, slow. Next chapter will get to the heart of things between the two…and then I may go on to include more "missing" scenes. Please review and let me know what you think…they really encourage the writing process!
A/N I'm sorry if you think it's too short or even worse, slow. Next chapter will get to the heart of things between the two…and then I may go on to include more "missing" scenes. Please review and let me know what you think…they really encourage the writing process!