In Dreams I Stand

By Stormchilde03

A/N: Thanks to Peggy Z. for the beta.

Monday, July 17, 10:22

Hondo always sent him to the position he though was the safest. The youngest of the team, baby faced and brash, Luca is a good officer, always right on target, always doing what the lieutenant told him. This would be the one time Hondo wished he hadn't been so quick to obey.

Hondo sent the others off, seeing a flicker of disappointment in Luca's eyes as he said the words he almost always said: 'Luca, you're with me.'

It was a typical call - sniper situation, one door and couple of windows in a second floor apartment. Looking back on it, Hondo supposed they'd gotten use to it, become careless because of the sameness of these calls. Luca stayed with him until the older man sent him back to the van to get a round of tear gas just like he'd done a hundred times before. Ninety nine times before, Luca called back and let him know he was in position and waiting for the signal to deploy the canister, this time he didn't radio back.

Hondo called him and he didn't answer. Things were getting hot, the sniper was firing wildly, bullets ricocheting, kicking up chips of pavement and stone.

Harrelson toggled the rest of the team and asked if anyone had a visual on Luca, no one could see him.

"TJ, keep our guy in the building busy. Deke, cover me!" Harrelson ordered, then took off for the van feeling slightly annoyed that Luca was taking his time.

When he caught sight of him; Luca was on the ground behind the van. He wasn't answering, his eyes were closed and there was no blood that the lieutenant could see. Figuring that once again Luca had taken a round in the vest and it had knocked him senseless he quickly checked the pulse in his neck, it was strong and steady. "Be right back, kid." Hondo assured him, then grabbed the gas rifle. The lieutenant ran back to the building, fired two canisters into the building and instructed the team to finish it up while he went back to check on Luca.

Luca was still where he'd left him, and the first cold chill of something terribly wrong started to clench his heart. Luca had taken hits before and they'd knocked the kid on his tail but he'd always gotten back up after a few minutes.

Luca's pulse was fluttering now and his lips were turning blue. Hondo cursed and grabbed his radio, "Officer down, request paramedics to my location immediately." He started rescue breathing, wondering what the heck had happened to the kid. In the distance, he could hear sirens, was barely aware of the fact that his team had returned to the van, having turned the sniper over to the patrol officers.

Deke was on his knees beside Harrelson, monitoring Dom's pulse.

"What happened?" Street asked, "Is he hit?"

Hondo took a second to answer, "I don't know."

"No blood." TJ observed. "Did he fall?"

The medics had arrived, gently nudging the officers out of the way, taking over with oxygen and a respirator.

"I don't know, he was down when I got back."

Luca was bundled into a neck brace and rushed to the ambulance, the team stowed their gear and followed.

The last time he'd paced the waiting room outside the ER had been when his son was hit by a car while riding his bike. Hondo felt almost as much panic now as he had then, Luca was not that much older than his oldest son. The longer they waited without word from the doctor the more worried they all became; no news was bad news in cases like this.

"I should call his mother." Hondo said.

"Let me do it," Deacon volunteered, "You stay here and wait for the doctor."

"I should be the one to tell her. This is my fault."

"How do you figure that?"

"I left him lying there on the pavement."

"You thought he was okay," Deacon gripped Hondo's shoulder. "You said yourself, you checked him first."

"I shouldn't have left him."

"If you hadn't, we'd have never gotten that sniper out of there. People could have died. You did your job." Deke left, to find a phone.

Deacon returned several minutes later, "Her daughter is driving up to get her and bring her here."

At last, a doctor opened the doors and came out.

"How is he? Is he going to be okay? What happened?" Hondo was too worried about the kid to wait for an answer to one question before asking another.

"It's a miracle he survived the shot, anyone else would have been dead before they hit the ground. If someone hadn't been there to start rescue breathing he'd have died right there, if they had moved him, he could have bled to death in less than a minute. Someone was watching out for him."

Deke stared pointedly at Hondo as if to say 'See, I told you.'

"He's stable right now; they're taking him up to surgery." The doctor continued. "A bullet struck him in the neck, between the third and fourth vertebra. It's done some damage but we won't be able to tell exactly how much until we remove the bullet and the swelling goes down."

"But there wasn't any blood."

"The round was nearly spent, if it hadn't been for that, he'd have been killed instantly. As it was, it caused enough swelling to compress the vessels and keep him from bleeding much."

"That's good, right?" Street asked.

"In some ways, but the swelling also compressed the nerves, that's why he stopped breathing and that hasn't changed."

"He's still not breathing on his own?" Asked Deacon.

"No, not at this time. We hope that after the surgery, the inflammation will go down and we'll at least be able to take him off the respirator."

"What's that all mean?" TJ asked.

"If he pulls through the surgery, he could be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life."

"Sweet Jesus." Deacon breathed.

The doctor suggested that they all go home, Dominic would be in surgery for at least two hours and it would be another hour after that before he'd be allowed any visitors.

"I know you're all worried about him but you can't do anything for him right now. Go home, get cleaned up, get some rest."

They hated to leave but they were all exhausted, TJ in particular looked dead on his feet, Hondo had to order him to go home.

"I'll go," he conceded, "But I don't think I can rest until I know he's okay."

Two hours and twenty-eight minutes later, they all met in the waiting room. Though they'd showered, changed clothes and gotten something to eat, none of them had rested much.

Hondo had cornered the doctor, badgering him into giving them an update.

"We are keeping him sedated for a couple of days, at least until the swelling goes down and we can see what kind of neurological damage might have been done."

"Is he breathing on his own yet?" Hondo asked.

"No. We will keep him on the ventilator for now, if he improves in a couple of days we'll take him off of it."

"Can we see him?"

"I've been letting his family in for short visits. If you don't stay long, I'll allow you in too."

"Is his mother here?"

"She was here for a while, she was very upset though, I gave her a sedative and sent her home with her daughter. I believe the rest of his siblings are downstairs in the chapel." Dr. Morgan chuckled, "He has quite a large family."

"That he does." Harrelson agreed. "Is it alright if I go back now?"

"Yes, he's in the ICU, room five. Just a couple of minutes each, then you all go home before you end up as patients." He scolded.

Hondo stood at the bedside, afraid to move closer. There were so many machines, clicking, beeping, humming and hissing in the small room. Luca looked like he was asleep, if you could ignore the various tubes that snaked in and out of his mouth and nose, he may have looked peaceful.

"I'm sorry, Luca." Hondo clenched his fists, "This shouldn't have happened,"

After Hondo, Deacon, stepped in. "Hey Luca. You can't stay here, Hilda will think you're cheating on her." He smiled. "I'll ask her to save you a donut, no teeth marks."

Street looked grim as Deacon exited. Deke clapped him on the shoulder. "He'll make it, don't worry."

Street nodded, "Yeah." Standing at Dom's bedside didn't bring back pleasant memories for him. He coughed, not sure what to say, "Everyone is pretty worried about you, you know. So, um, you need to get better soon, okay." He wiped at his eyes with the back of one hand. "I guess I'll go and let TJ come in, the doctor said we couldn't stay long. I'll see you tomorrow." Street reached out, patted Luca's arm. "I hope you'll be awake then."

TJ stood in the doorway, his feet seemed reluctant to bring him any closer. He cursed himself for hesitating, stepped closer to the bed. TJ felt tears prickle his eyes as he looked at his friend, so still and quiet. "Hey Dom. You know you gave us quite a scare, you're not supposed to do that. The doctor said you'll be awake in a couple of days and when you are, I bet Hondo is going to have a few things to say to you about slacking off like this." He tried to be cheerful but a lump kept forming in his throat, he was dreadfully afraid that Luca would never wake up. "You know we need you, Street is completely useless with the gas gun. He can hit the broad side of a barn but never get it through the window." His laugh was short and forced. "Why did it have to be you?" He was silent for a moment, blinking back tears and swallowing hard. "I guess I should go, your mom or one of your sisters is probably waiting to see you. I'll come back tomorrow alright?"

There was a dark haired girl waiting at the door, she smiled sadly as he passed her.

Tuesday came and went with the team checking on their fallen friend as often as they could. Luca had spent most of the day being x-rayed and scanned. The results were not encouraging, the swelling around his spine was not diminishing as rapidly as the doctors had hoped.

Wednesday morning stretched into the afternoon with much the same results. Early in the evening, when Luca woke up from the drug induced coma, he couldn't speak or move. Dr. Morgan came in to perform a neurological exam.

Wednesday, July 19. 20:04

The doctor pressed the blunt blade against the bottom of Luca's foot and dragged it the length of the sole. He shook his head and repeated the procedure on Luca's other foot with the same result. Next, he tried it on Luca's palms, still no response. Dr. Morgan pulled the sheet down around Luca's waist. Making a fist, he rubbed his knuckles on Luca's sternum, Hondo was the only one who reacted and he grimaced knowing that Dom should have felt pain with that action.

"The swelling has almost completely disappeared and he still has no neurological response. He is going to be paralyzed and dependant on the respirator for the rest of his life."

Luca's eyes clenched shut, tears streaming down the sides of his face. Dom's eyes opened and he looked at TJ. The fear in those dark eyes tore at his heart and TJ carefully took Dom's hand in his. "You'll beat this, I know you will." he said desperately, "You'll be okay."

Thursday, July 20. 23:19

TJ sat in the visitor's chair, head propped on his hand. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. It was difficult to come to terms with the doctor's prognosis for Luca. It seemed impossible that the vibrant young man could go from rappelling down a building to completely immobile in the space of one day. It made him realize that death and injury waited for them every morning and that it could overtake any of them at any time, a depressing and heavy thought.

Susan seemed to take the incident to heart, she was more attentive to TJ, had even brought up the idea that perhaps they should set their wedding date sooner.

"I don't want to lose you." Susan had cried. "I know your job is dangerous and that you would hate going back to a routine patrol but I don't want to miss a minute of our life together."

He promised to think it over and Susan had seemed content with his answer.

Here he was, watching Luca and trying not to think how it could have just as easily been him in that bed. He fell asleep in the chair, waking in the morning with a crick in his neck.

Friday, July 21. 07:10

He rushed home to shower and change his clothes, breakfast held no appeal for TJ, he promised himself he'd buy something from Hilda later.

The days began to blur into one another for TJ. He came into work every morning, did his job, spent time with Susan and spent the night at the hospital talking to Dominic. He took no pleasure in being with the rest of the team, made no effort to befriend Luca's replacement, a transfer from Rampart named David Rogers. Street tried his best to get TJ to hang out at Crazy Mary's with them like he used to but TJ always refused.

Tuesday August 27. 08:05

"McCabe, I need to see you in my office." Said Hondo as he passed the sniper's desk.

TJ swallowed the last of his third cup of coffee and followed the lieutenant.

"Close the door and have a seat."

Too tired to notice the odd tone of Hondo's voice, TJ did as he was told.

"TJ you're spreading yourself too thin, you're going to have to give something up."

"I'm not giving up on Luca, Lieutenant! If that were one of us in there, he'd never give up. He was the only one who didn't give up on you! Remember?"

Harrelson did remember, the young officer had been the only one of the team to make an effort to come and see him every day, braving the wrath of the new watch commander, Lieutenant Purcell. It had made the days of desk duty more bearable knowing that his team had not forgotten him.

"TJ," Hondo sighed, "it's been almost two months and he hasn't made any improvement. The doctor said…"

"He doesn't know!" TJ interrupted "It's possible Dom might recover." his voice wavered.

"TJ, you've got to accept the fact that Luca will never get any better."

"No! He'll get better, he has to!" TJ insisted.

"I want you to take a couple of days off, starting right now. You go home and get some sleep, understand me?"

TJ bit back an angry reply, nodding instead.

"You're no good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself."

TJ didn't reply, he got up and walked out of the office. Refusing to meet the curious gazes of his team mates, TJ climbed the stairs.

He tried to do as Harrelson had ordered but he couldn't fall asleep. He lay on the bed starring at the ceiling for two hours before giving up and driving to the hospital.

Dominic had been moved to what the hospital called the rehabilitation wing. The patients on this floor were all recovering from serious injuries, well enough to not need skilled nursing but still not able to care for themselves.

TJ hadn't seen Dominic's family much since he'd been moved to the rehab floor, though his mother came as often as she could.

Luca was asleep when TJ entered so he pulled the chair close to the bed, sat and watched him. The rhythmic sound of the respirator lulled him to sleep.

A sound dragged him from sleep. A soft repetitive sound, not the hiss-whoosh of the respirator but something else. TJ sat up, expecting to see one of the nurses attending to Dom but there was no one there. He rubbed his eyes, apparently he had been dreaming. He stood up, stretching and heard his spine cracking. Dom was awake; his eyes were open and looking at him.

"I'm getting old Dom, did you hear that?" Something in Dom's eyes silenced him and he heard the soft buzzing sound again. "Dom? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Dom slowly blinked twice, the sign for 'no'. Dom's eyes widened, turning to the wall, then back to TJ.

"Is there something you want?"

Luca blinked 'yes' and looked at the wall again.

"Do you want me to get your mom?"

'No'

"Your sister?"

'No'

"You want me to leave?"

Luca rolled his eyes

"Are you making fun of me?" TJ asked.

'No' Luca signaled

"You want me to stay?"

'Yes', Luca's eyes focused on the wall again, and then back to TJ.

"Something about the wall?"

'No'

"Not the wall, something over by the wall?"

'No'

"Something on the floor?"

Luca glared at TJ.

"Sorry Dom, I …" he heard the noise again, louder this time. "Dom? Was that you?"

'Yes'

TJ leaned over Dominic; Luca's fingernails dragging slowly across the draw sheet were making the sound he was hearing.

"DOM! You're moving! I gotta tell someone! I'll be right back!" TJ stumbled over the chair, recovered and dashed out into the hall.

In minutes he was back, breathlessly dragging one of the nurses by the arm.

"Look! Look!" TJ pointed to Luca's right hand "Do it again, Dom!"

Dominic slowly curled his fingers, scraping his nails on the sheet and making the sound that had awakened TJ.

"I told you he was moving! I told you!" Impulsively he hugged the nurse, picking her up and spinning her around and she laughed.

"You have to let go of me so I can call Dr. Morgan."

TJ blushed and released her, "Sorry, I'm a little excited."

"I kinda noticed."

"It's an encouraging sign yes, but you must not get your hopes up." Dr. Morgan cautioned. "Just because he has some movement in one hand doesn't mean he will be up and walking tomorrow. That may be all the motion he ever regains."

TJ's smile faded, "You mean he's still going to be paralyzed?"

"Yes. I don't mean to take away all hope, it's remotely possible that he may recover motor function enough to use his hands but I don't hold out hope for much more than that."

Luca glared stubbornly at the doctor and TJ couldn't help but smile, he knew that determined look, the doctor may have given up but Luca certainly wouldn't.

"Come on Dom, you can do it." TJ encouraged, the fingers of Dom's left hand twitched a little but didn't curl like his right. TJ took Dom's hand and curled the fingers then straightened them, "We'll work on it, you'll get it back, I know you will."

'Yes' Dom blinked.

Every day TJ would come by in the evening and work with Luca, flexing the muscles of the younger man's arms and hands. Dominic was regaining some movement in his hands, particularly his right. He still couldn't move his arms but when he'd squeezed his mother hand she had broken into tears.

Sunday, September 4th. 04:00

Sound. Something that didn't sound quite right awakened him. It took just seconds for TJ to realize that it was the sound of the respirator. Instead of the steady hiss-whoosh he'd gotten used to after listening to it for six weeks it sounded wrong, like it wasn't working. TJ leaped to his feet, "Dom? What's wrong?"

Luca's eyes were wide, fearful.

"Are you having trouble breathing?"

'Yes' Dom answered.

"I'll get the nurse!"

He collided with her just as she opened the door.

"Quick, he can't breathe!"

"Calm down." She said. "Take it easy, both of you."

"Calm down!" TJ shouted, "He can't breathe, how can we be calm?"

"He can breathe, that's the problem." She shut off the respirator and disconnected the tubing on the tracheotomy, capping the hole. "Relax, just be calm." She slid one hand under the sheet, resting her palm on Dominic's chest. "That's it, slow and easy."

"What's going on?" TJ asked worriedly.

"It's okay." She smiled, "He's breathing on his own."

"He is?" TJ looked stunned. "But how?"

"I don't know, but it's a good sign." She opened a package of narrow tubing, uncoiled it and hooked it to a steel fitting on the wall. After placing the tubing under Luca's nose, she turned on the oxygen. "You're a fighter, that's for sure." She said, smiling at Luca.

"I'm going to call Dr. Morgan, he's not going to believe this."

TJ sat in the chair, pulled close to the bed and never took his eyes off Luca. He couldn't sleep, he was afraid that if he did, Luca might stop breathing and no one would be able to save him. Dr. Morgan had insisted that Dominic could wait until the doctor made his morning rounds at eight o'clock, a little over two hours from now.

Luca breathed irregularly, that worried TJ but the nurse had shrugged it off,

"He's breathing, he'll get better at it, you just have to give him time."

"But what if he stops?"

"He won't, and even if he does an alarm will go off. Try not to worry, he's going to be alright."

He couldn't stop worrying, even though Luca had fallen asleep, TJ kept watch, the hours going by unnoticed until Dr. Morgan startled him.

"Young man, don't you have a home of your own?" the doctor teased. "Every time something happens with my patient, you're here. Coincidence or planning?

TJ looked sheepish, "Coincidence, I think."

"If you say so." Dr. Morgan dropped the bed rail, awakening Luca. "Well now, Nurse Thomas said you decided you didn't need the respirator last night. Are you forever going to be doing the things I said you wouldn't?"

'Yes' Luca blinked.

TJ laughed, "He's always doing the unexpected."

"In some cases, that's not a bad thing." The doctor listened to Dominic's breathing with a stethoscope for a few minutes. "Sounds better. Are you feeling better?"

"Tired." Luca rasped.

"Hey!" TJ shouted, "You talked!"

Dr. Morgan chuckled, "I suppose you'll be doing more of that now, eh?"

"Yes." Luca's voice was rough and low.

"Well, I think a little water and a little higher flow on the oxygen will help that." He reached up and adjusted the oxygen. "Do you think you could swallow a little water?"

"Try." Luca replied.

Dr. Morgan raised the head of the bed and poured a little water into a cup. "We'll try it without a straw first." He held the cup to Luca's lips, a little of the liquid spilled but Luca was able to swallow some without choking. "Very encouraging, very encouraging indeed."

TJ couldn't stop smiling, he felt like his face was going to crack. "Dom, this is terrific! Wait til your mom hears you!"

"She cry." Dom replied.

"I bet she does." TJ noticed the time, "Oh, no! I'm late!" It was twenty after eight. "Dom I gotta go but I'll be back after work I swear!" He hurried out.

Hondo was waiting by his desk when TJ arrived.

"You're late." The lieutenant growled.

"Sorry, it was important." TJ grabbed the phone and dialed the hospital. "Yeah, this is TJ, can you hold the phone for him? Thanks." He handed the phone to Harrelson, "Someone wants to say something to you."

Hondo took the phone, glancing curiously at TJ who was grinning. "This is Harrelson."

His expression went from intense to amazed.

TJ was shifting nervously from foot to foot, still grinning, "Am I still in trouble?"

Harrelson laughed, "You're off the hook this time, McCabe." He listened to the voice on the phone for several minutes then nodded. "Thanks doc. Goodbye."

Harrelson looked at Street, Deacon and David, who had gathered in the office.

"What is it?" Street asked.

"Who is more the question. That was our boy, Luca."

"Dominic is talking? How? When?" Street's eyes were watering.

"He started breathing on his own this morning and not long after that he started talking. McCabe, Dom's mother says you're the one to thank for that."

"Not me sir, it's Dom. He did most of the work, I just sat there."

"Every night for six weeks."