Hello! I'm daisysakura and this is my story. I know, it's kinda weird, but I always wondered what would happen if the Senshi and the Saints had a slappin' contest... lol So, anyway, here it is! Please, if you have any bad reviews, make sure they're CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM so that maybe, I can make the story better. And by the way, YES I love both anime! Oh, and sorry if some characters are OOC! I haven't watched Saint Seiya or Sailor Moon in a loooonnnggg while... But anyway, here's the disclaimer.. (do people still do disclaimers?)
DISLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOO OR IT'S CHARACTERS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN SAINT SEIYA OR IT'S CHARACTERS. IN ADDITION, I DO NOT OWN MAJOR KUSANAGI OR SHINICHI KUDO. KUSANAGI'S FROM GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX AND SHINICHI'S FROM DETECTIVE CONAN. I DO OWN JASON, THE AGRO BAR, THE PLOT OF THE STORY, AND UHH... MYSELF. SO PLEASE ENJOY THE STORY!
An angry Athena and a seriously bothered pair of cats paced around in a circle in front of the battered Bronze Saints and the buffeted Sailor Senshi, both masculine and feminine quintets staring at the ground bellow them. The infuriated Jason only stood and watched as the random stones and ashes, remainders from his beloved bar, were swept off the Nagareboshi City streets and disposed of into numerous garbage trucks; an unfit grave, as Jason would put it. Saori was lost for words as were the animals, Luna and Artemis. Their ten warriors continued the stare at their shoes in shame for a while until some of them began bravely lifting their heads toward their leader and their guardians. Finally, the lavender haired goddess' speech returned.
"What could you all have been thinking?" she nearly shouted and directed her attention toward the five young men who she called her Saints. "And you! I warned you not to do anything you'd regret! I warned you not to get blinded by your egos and now look!"
"You girls have a lot of explaining to do!" Luna lectured the Senshi. "I can barely believe that some of you actually..." once again, the black feline lost her words. Just then, Police Major Kusanagi approached the group. She was accompanied by Detective Shinichi Kudo.
"Konbanwa, minna-san, (Good evening, everyone,)" Major Kusanagi began. "I'm Major Motoko Kusanagi of the Asahoshi Police Department Section 9 and this is Detective Shinichi Kudo of the Mouri Detective Agency. We would like to know what exactly happened here tonight."
Suddenly, the entire group of ten began speaking all at once. All anyone could hear was "They started it!" this and "It all happened when they..." that.
"Quiet!" shouted Shinichi. This stifled the many sounds."We're not gonna get anywhere with all of you talking at once like that, so one of the Bronze Saints can go first and then one of the Sailor Senshi."
There was silence as the boys mentally decided amongst themselves who would reperasent the entire group.
"Well..." said the shy, green-haired Andromeda Shun. "I guess I'll start off."
About a week before the incident, the Bronze boys returned home from The Argo Bar in fury. It is not quite sure what happened between the Saints and the Senshi because the ones who saw how it really began were too drunk the next morning to remember it. All that the semi-sober ones could report was that something happened that upset both Phoenix Ikki and Sailor Jupiter, who were later caught in a fire bird blasting, thunder crashing brawl. This could have been a result of the large amount of whiskey Ikki Nakagawa had taken in prior to this, or perhaps it was the sake Makoto Kino (Sailor Jupiter) drank. Either way, the two had a drunken disagreement which soon became one cosmic fist fight. Ikki's always for peace little brother, Shun Nakagawa, tried to pry them apart and could easily stop his brother. However, in her tipsy rage, Matoko directed a swift kick at the blue haired Saint but missed and hit poor Shun square were the rotation of his northernmost star and the rotation of his southernmost star intersected. In other words, Sailor Jupiter accidentally kicked the peace-maker in the crotch. Ouch. The Phoenix was angered even further as he watched his brother fall faster than a shooting star. Soon, the other Senshi came to assist their teammate, as did the other Saints. Pegasus Seiya Takahashi, intoxicated, began shouting random and graphic obscenities about how Sailor Moon (Usagi Tsukino's) odango (the 'meat-ball head' or 'dumpling head' hair style) looked like something he'd seen in his own vomit once. Sailor Venus (Minako Aino), who was maybe drunkest of them all, began he speech about how Cygnus Hyoga Mansky must be good friends with Russian lesbian duo, t.a.t.u. and how he must lick ice cubes all day for fun. Draco Shiryu Tang, who was so in another universe that he could barely stand properly, began making wise cracks about Sailor Mars (Rei Hino) being a "pimpin' princess" for "juggling" her husband, Jadeite, and "the j-rock reject surfer dude turned Shinto nun-guy", as Shiryu described him. Once Andromeda Shun Nakagawa finally deemed himself as okay, he began to stand up and found himself going face-first into some other guy's lift-off pad by accident. Upon seeing this, Sailor Mercury (Ami Mizuno) blushed, thinking Shun was gay. Things got ugly when Seiya continued by saying that their anime is full of fan service due to their frequent henshining and they began using their powers against on another. Jason Argo, the bar owner, kicked them all out before they reset the rotation of the Earth. The Saints and Senshi then went their separate ways, both just as pissed as before. And now, the Saints sat together in the living room of the Kido Mansion, wasting away in the black hole of their anger. The funny thing was that no one even remembered which star it was that died and created the hole. In regular human speech, they didn't remember why they were fighting in the first place, but to them, that apparently did not matter.
"Damn, I wish we could get back at them..." Seiya grumbled. "Damn them..."
"That blonde they call Venus with all the long hair... Heh, I would just LOVE to put some Nair in her shampoo or something like that..." Hyoga grinned at his fiendish fantasies.
"Yeah... Hey, save some for Sailor Mars! Her hair's pretty long too," Shiryu added.
"Sailor Mercury thought I was gay..." Shun said quietly.
"God, I hate that Sailor Jupiter..." Ikki shouted, still a bit of a galaxy short of a sun.
Just then, the phone rang. Hyoga answered.
"Hello?"
"The Agro Bar in three days at 6 PM. Got it? Us Senshi are challenging you guys." said a muffled, female voice.
"Three days and.. what?"
"I said, three days at 6PM!"
"Three days and sticks pee M? What the –!"
"Oh, God.. Whatever..." Hyoga then heard the sound of a cloth being removed from the phone on the other side. Sailor Mars then spoke again. "The Agro Bar. Three days. 6PM. Challenge."
"The Argo Bar, three days, 6PM, challenge?"
"Yes."
"Wait, lemme write this down..."
"Okay then..."
"Someone get me a pencil and a paper?" Hyoga asked. The others scrounged around for the required items. Seiya found a pen, but no one could find a paper.
"Okay, I'll just write on my hand," Hyoga returned to his conversation. "So that's The Argo Bar..."
"Uh huh."
"In three days..."
"Yup."
"At 6PM..."
"Yeah."
"And challenge?"
"Uh huh."
"Okay then."
"Bye."
"Bye." Hyoga hung up.
"We're being challenged?" Shiryu asked.
"Yeah. The Senshi want to challenge us, apparently."
The room was silent. Upon realizing what he had just said, Hyoga too fell silent.
"GAAH!"
"We can't fight girls while we're sober!" Seiya shrieked. "It's wrong!"
"But, we fought girls like Shaina!" Ikki said, trying to calm down.
"Yeah, but she can actually fight!" Seiya replied. "You can't tell me that girls who have to get naked in front of everyone in order to transform, EVERY SINGLE EPISODE, are that powerful!"
"But wait! Wait a sec!" Shun interrupted. "What if that's just for show?"
The rest of the Bronze Saints stared at him for an explanation.
"I mean... What if they really are powerful but they just do that to confuse the enemy?"
This new idea sank into the other Saints' heads. This could be true... And if they loose to them because they underestimated them, they'd be known as the Bronze Pansies for the rest of their lives. They could just hear the haunting, taunting chorus of the other Saints now... How Athena's strong, bold, honorable Bronze Saints, sworn to protect their goddess of justice and wisdom, were done in by five planetary princesses in mini skirts with their pretty wands and sparkley attacks. The five young men cringed at the thought of it.
"Okay, then... In the morning, we'll hold a meeting! Just the five of us in my room..." Seiya announced.
The other boys stared at him strangely. Seiya snorted.
"Damn, no one can say 'in my room' anymore without people thinking dirty, eh?"
"Anyway, we should get our rest so we can think straight tomorrow." Shiryu said. "It's already 5AM."
The others agreed and went to bed. The next morning, after having a hangover the size of Jupiter, each of them went into Seiya's room closing the door behind them (which gave Tatsumi ideas concerning what exactly they were doing there which thoroughly traumatized him). The five sat in a circle and appointed Shun as the secretary of the meeting. It was basically his job to jot down each point. By the end of the meeting, Shun's notes looked something like this:
Idea One: Head-on battle. Go in and do it. - Ikki
Pros: We are maybe stronger than them.
Cons: Maybe we're not.
Possibility of Execution: Possible.
Other Notes: Nothing much... Seiya suggests that they might beat us over the head with their wands...
Idea Two: Yaoi ploy. Two of us randomly make out to distract the Senshi while the rest attack when they're not looking. - Hyoga
Pros: Would probably work. "Girls love that yaoi crap." (Hyoga)
Cons: What exactly to the other three do, man kissing is not fun (for us).
Possibility of Execution: Not possible. No one wants to make out with each other...
Other Notes: Apparently, if it comes to that, I have to do it because I'm the most "bishounen" (Shiryu)... And just for that comment, everyone is considering me and Shiryu...
Idea Three: Flirt ploy. Flirt with them so they'll go easy on us or withdraw. - Shiryu, who is obviously running low on ideas today.
Pros: "Makes us look like pimps." (Seiya, apparently just kidding)
Cons: We already have girlfriends, Seiya especially since his girlfriend is the goddess of justice and wisdom and can probably set him on fire just by looking at him if she really wanted to, and it's a cheap trick.
Possibility of Execution: Slightly possible for most of us, totally IMPOSSIBLE for Seiya.
Other Notes: Everyone now wants to do this one just to see what will happen to Seiya... "Just to see if he'll live to see the next day..." - Hyoga
Idea Four: Embarrassment strategy. Tell them how much you want to see them henshin and in their embarrassment, they will withdraw. - Seiya
Pros: "Funny at hell." (Seiya)
Cons: Makes us look as low as guys like Miroku and Rei Hino's grandfather.
Possibility of Execution: Slim.
Other Notes: Hyoga admits he'd actually like to see their henshins, which got him some weird looks from the rest of us considering that it was his idea last night to put Nair in their shampoo.
Idea Five: Henshin together at the exact same time to temporarily blind them, then while they're stumbling around, attack. - Seiya
Pros: "Funny as hell." (Seiya, later got punched in the head by my brother for this idea), could actually work.
Cons: Makes us look "cheap" (Ikki), "isn't very honorable" (Shiryu)
Possibility of Execution: Not much.
Other Notes: Seiya suggests we find a way to get naked during our henshins like they do so we can catch their attention. Everyone threw pillows at his face.
Idea Six: Withdraw. - Me
Pros: No one gets hurt.
Cons: "Makes us look like pansies" (Seiya), "makes us look like wimps" (Ikki), "are you on crack?"(Hyoga)... Hey! It was just a suggestion!
Possibility of Execution: "Slim to none" (Seiya)
Other Notes: I'm apparently the only one here who doesn't want to fight and I'm the one that got kicked in the comets...
Afterward, Shun read the list over to his teammates. The Saints sighed.
"Wow.." Shiryu said. "Those plans suck..."
"We're not gonna be able to beat them, are we?"
The boys let out another sigh. Little did they know that they were not the only ones troubled by this...
Soo, what'd you think? Sorry about the weird space slang.. lol Now remember people! I love both Saint Seiya and Sailor Moon, so please excuse the dissing! Please R&R if you want me to continue!