I'm excited for the prom….I think. I'm not sure what I should be feeling right now. Oh Joey what would you do have done. Every now and then Joey would ring me up and ask how I was doing, I wish he called me now. What is with me….I'm so stupid, don't I ever learn. See, this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened to me before but I hate to bring the past up. When I got home I walked straight up to my room, mum wasn't home, dad was never around. Vitto don't even get me started.

I didn't have a happy family. Not anymore, not after Joey.

Everything just changed, I changed, I tried to pretend this wasn't happening once before but it didn't work out. Mum acts like what happened didn't too. Vitto just got out of hand .

I need to get my heard cleared. I need to get out and just breath.

I change into black sweats and a tank top that said "Screw you" I ran down the docks and sat on the bench facing the water.

"Ash. Is that you?" a voice from behind me asked.

"Maybe." I stated simply

"are you alright?" Tyler asked, coming to sit by me.

"Define alright." I said.

"Is this about Lawson?" he asked

"do you always have to ask questions?" I said sarcastically.

"I just wanna know." he said "To see if I can help"

"I don't think you can." I said taking a long look at him before concentrating my attention on the water in front of us.

"Try me."

"Sorry I don't I can." I said and got up from the bench.

I was walking towards home but he was still following.

"Ashley wait up." He said faking to be out of breath. "please." I looked back at him. He looked so…breath-taking.

"Alright lets just get to my house, I think its going to rain." I said as we walked hurriedly towards my front porch. I looked up at my neighbours window…T.J's window. He knew about Lawson but decided he couldn't tell me about Lawson's little play on me. I let us in through my front door and shut the door behind Tyler.

"Do you want anything?" I asked him.

"yeah. to know what's up." He said plainly.

"Look Tyler, its complicated."

"Just tell me."

"Fine…remember Lawson was using me, T.J knew about it. And apparently he couldn't tell me first because me and Lawson were….making out" the last word came out as a breather, I hoped he didn't hear it.

"WHAT?!" he laughed "You were making out with Lawson?!" then he stopped "Oh my God! You weren't joking."

I threw the kitchen towel at him. "Do I look like I'm joking! Now I don't feel up to going to the dance. I'm sorry" I gripped the work top hard. I felt I was gonna scream. I looked at Tyler he looked away. Disappointment.

"I didn't know you felt that way." he said sadly.

"I'm sorry"

"its alright." he said "I'll see you tomorrow."

He walked out that night without turning back to me. I don't even know what I was feeling. It sure wasn't happiness.

I went to bed that night with a pang of guilt.

The next day I went to school in a simple black tank top and jeans, my hair was in a messy pony tail.

I saw T.J and Tyler hanging on the school wall but I didn't got to them. I went straight to class. I just sat through the classes not even listening to anything. At lunch I sat in the corner and just ate. Then went to the art room and just painted what I was feeling. Hurt. Regret. Anger. Guilt. I didn't realise what I was doing till I was done it was me when I was younger. When I was happier. I hate my self. I hated what I had become. This just wasn't me.

I left that art room and went to the fields where some girls were playing football. I wanted to play. I used to play at my other school, apparently I was the best.

"hey can I play?" I asked 1 of the girl's who's name was May.

"Can you?" She asked

"yeah . I think I could keep up with the ball." I said

"Okay. Right then." She rounded up the team. " guys we're gonna play a match 5 a side. I pick Ashley"

As the game started I started to show my talents and everyone came round to watch even T.J, Tyler and Lawson.

At the end of the game I was well out of energy, when T.j and peers came to talk to me.

They all looked down at me.

"Look Ash, erm I guess we're to apologise for acting like asses. And we hope you can forgive us." T.j finally spoke up.

I laughed. Not at them but at the situation.

"Guys don't worry about it, its cool I forgive you. In fact I forgave you a long time ago but you know….."

We all laughed.

I felt relieved.

"So does this mean we can still go to the dance." Tyler asked

"Well du'h" I reached over for T.J "come on we have to talk."

"What is this about?" he asked.

"What's up with you?" I asked

"What?! Nothing." he said in protest

"Tell me now or I'll beat it out of you!" I said giving him the evil eye.

"Look its nothing."

"Teej I've known you from long back and I know its never nothing."

"okay fine…but promise you won't be angry." he said "well…I wanted to ask you to the dance way before Lawson, but then you said yes to him and I guess I was angry at you for that." he look like their was more to the story but my expression probably told him to take a breath. I looked shocked at him.

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