Reviewing Material
By Adrian Tullberg
When Scott Summers walked into his room, Emma had that seductive smile which filled him with a combination of anticipation and utter dread.
"Oh Scott..."
"Okay, what have you got planned Emma?"
"Just something you might find amusing..." Emma produced the object she was hiding behind her back. "…a rather naughty video..."
"You already showed me your collection, remember?" Scott rubbed his wrists reflexively. "Eighteen straight hours with me strapped to a chair?"
Emma gently but forcefully guided Scott to the couch facing his Entertainment Center. "This is different, and you won't need restraints."
"Really?"
With a flourish, Emma pushed the cassette into the VCR. "It's an amateur video ... starring your not-so-favourite Canadian..."
"WHAT? How? Why?"
Emma handed him a flute of Bollinger. "Just sit back and review your first ever piece of blackmail material."
Scott took a bracing breath, and looked at the screen. Apparently somebody decided that they would cut the preliminaries and go straight to the action.
"Oh God, I never wanted to see his naked ass that closely."
Emma gravely nodded. "Guess who's getting a full body wax booked for tomorrow."
Scott tilted his head to the right; something looked … no, somebody looked familiar. "Who's ... it looks ... hang on..."
"Well well … looks like Ms. Munroe has engaged in a little recreational activity."
"Stop looking so happy Emma..."
They stopped for a few seconds as the participants decided to really indulge the visual medium.
"... she's very noisy..."
"It's always the quiet ones darling."
The on-screen Logan did something Scott vainly hoped he wouldn't do.
"GAHHH!"
"Wh ..." Emma raised an eyebrow. "It's not that frightening."
"I never wanted to see … see that part of Logan."
Something made Emma lean forward, brow furrowed in thought. "One thing that's bothering me..."
"The one thing that's bothering me is dead center in the middle of my widescreen plasma!"
"... who's filming it?"
"Eh?"
"Most amateur tapes are static shots." Emma started moving her arms along with her explanation. "Someone's in the room, panning, zooming, maintaining manual focus; filming Wolverine and Storm going at it hammer and tongs."
"But who…" The image shuddered for a second. "They've put the camera down ... "
"I think they're about to join in…"
Emma's hypothesis was proved correct when someone moved in from the left. "Well I ... wha ..."
"That looks suspiciously like..."
Scott dropped his glass. "JEAN?"
"Like I said dear ... it's always the quiet ones."