Resident Evil 4: Crazy Doesn't Begin to Describe It

By Nonliving-Nightmare and Burning Bridges

"We are the Champions… No time for losers…" Vee was singing to herself, rather off key after her last few sips of coffee. It was the late afternoon and she was sitting in a recliner in the living room, a cup of hazelnut coffee in one hand, and a PS2 controller in the other. It had become her daily routine; drinking coffee and playing this game to varying stations on her decrepit radio.

"Ahh," she sighed to herself, "There's nothing more satisfying than butchering crazy farmers that come after you with their… 'agricultural implements'"

Just as Queen broke into another round of the chorus, she leaned forward in the chair a little to get a better look at the setting sun, turning the sky blood red with it's dying rays. Everything was normal for the most part. The coffee was on the bitter side, but that was the only problem on her mind. Otherwise, all was well.

She tensed up a little as Leon and Ashley drew closer to the area where the crazed chainsaw-wielding ladies were waiting. "I really don't like these bitches," she muttered, Leon telling Ashley to hide, before prepping himself and jumping down into the pit.

Without warning, Vee began to feel violently dizzy. She'd never felt like that before, except for maybe once, when she was really sick. But it wasn't all that alarming to her – the blood was probably just rushing to her head somehow. She set the controller down, trying to focus her eyes on something but failing miserably.

"Maybe I'll just sit back and rest for a moment." She closed her eyes, hearing what sounded like Leon being beheaded by one of the women before she drifted off.

There was a sound like rain hitting the roof, and a cool breeze was brushing against her face as she began to stir from her sleep. Slowly, Vee opened her eyes, getting a glimpse of the room's panorama, and sitting up straight, whispering, "What in fuck…"

She wasn't in her living room anymore… She was someplace she'd never seen before; a white room, dimly lit in the darkness of an afternoon storm, with furniture in shades of blue that clashed with a coral-tinted carpet. And in a chair on the other side of the room was a teenage boy, sleeping peacefully.

Without further thought, she impulsively jumped off of the couch she'd been sitting on, and shouted, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHERE AM I!"

The boy blinked a few times, and yawned. "What?"

"Who are you! I want to know right now! What, did you bring me here to rape me or something!"

"Pardon?" he opened his eyes, taking in everything around him for the first time. His eyes fell on a very angry looking girl standing a couple yards away looking herself over like she thought there was something on her. "And why am I wearing different clothes – these aren't even my clothes. Oh god, I don't know where these have been. What is happening!"

"What the… What is this place?" he asked a little more calmly than his companion, looking all over the room for something familiar.

"That's what I was asking you! What the fuck is going on? Is this some one's idea of a joke, or did I just blindly stumble into a fucking SAW movie!"

"… How did this happen? One minute I was playing Resident Evil 4 and then - "

The girl stopped in her tracks, having been pacing in front of the couch frantically. "You were playing RE4? So was I…"

"What? Are you serious? Which part?"

"The 'killer chainsaw ladies'," she said slowly, staring at the carpet.

"I had just jumped - "

" – Into the pit?"

"Well, I was going to say arena, but that works too."

"You… don't think this has something to do with that, do you?" Her expression was quickly turning frenetic as the picture began to develop before them.

"I don't know… But I'd be willing to say no."

She sank to the floor, looking around the room. "There has to be something that will tell us where we are…"

When she didn't make a move to get up, he did, searching for any signs of a phonebook or something. Pushing aside piles of books stacked around the chair where he'd woken up, he found a newspaper.

"What is it?" she asked, and he didn't answer, staring at it in total uncertainty. He tossed it over to her, his expression still a mixture of what seemed to be surprise and horror. She let her eyes fall on the headline. "No… No… No! That isn't even remotely possible!"

On the front page, were the words 'President's Daughter Abducted', and below that was a photo of a smiling blonde girl, labeled 'Ashley Graham recently disappeared on a trip from college'.

"This isn't real! Somebody must have drugged me, or something." She looked all over her arms in vain for any sign of puncture wounds, knowing that there probably weren't any. "This is just a dream…"

"I don't think so…" the boy managed finally. "I don't know how, but we're… We're here…"

"We can't be! It defies all logic – even Quantum physics wouldn't explain this to me!"

"What?" he asked, giving her a funny look and going to pick up the paper.

"Never mind… Please prove to me that we are NOT in Resident Evil 4…"

"Well, according to this we are. There's even mention of Umbrella! On page H… Why would this happen?"

"I have no clue. For all I know, we could have messed up the space-time continuum."

"But how? There's bound to be any number of people on the same part of a game at a given time."

"Once again, no clue… Maybe it was a special case. I really don't believe this…"

"Well, since we're stuck here together… My name is Travis."

"And mine's Vera…"

"Wait… You wouldn't happen to go by 'Vee' would you?" he stared at her in near bewilderment.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" she asked, a little startled.

"It's me. 'Nonliving-Nightmare', remember?"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! IT CAN'T BE! YOU'RE KIDDING!" she said, getting up and backing away until she ended up falling back onto the couch again, staring at her friend in a state of shock. When she had composed herself a little more, she managed to squeak, "Non-Nigh? Is that really you? … How do I know you're not just a figment of my imagination?"

"In the flesh I think and we could always do the classic pinch test but why give each other unnecessary bruises? I have a feeling we're going to get plenty of those. Let's just trust each other and see if we can figure out how we got here." He answered.

"I agree. For all we know we could be trapped in the middle of a ganado invasion." She said, pushing herself off the couch.

"I kinda doubt that. This newspaper is from America so I say we're still in the United States but the problem is where exactly?"

"Doesn't it say?"

"This paper is pretty much empty besides a few ads. It mainly concentrates on Ashley and her kidnapping." He said, flipping through the paper.

"Maybe it's trying to tell us something." Vee said, taking the paper from him.

"Yea she gets kidnapped too often."

Travis looked around the room until the thunder and the lightning from the storm made him jump. "I hate lightning. Why does the atmosphere have to be so creepy? It's not like we're in the Spencer Estate. I can take it in the game but come on aren't things bad enough?"

A loud crash came from another room in the house that they were in, catching both of their attentions.

"Maybe you spoke to soon." Vee said, picking up a fire poker and edging towards the door.

"Great we get eaten before we even figure out why we're here." Travis said, trying to use sarcasm to suppress his fear. He walked through the doorway with Vee but slipped in a slick puddle of water that was leaking from an open window. He accidently rammed into Vee as he fell, making them both fall.

"Ouch that hurt. You really are clumsy."

"I'm sorry." Travis said, getting back up and helping Vee up as well.

"Wait why did we come in here again?" She asked flipping the light switch.

The room had a refrigerator, a sink, and a small table that sat three people. The sink was under the open window with some dirty dishes. On the counter was a wet cat.

"It must have crawled in through the window." Vee said, making the observation.

"So this cat was what made the noise?"

"Yea it must have jumped on the counter and knocked those pans on the floor off."

"What a relief."

"Don't get too happy. It looks like someone lives here." Vee said, her grip tightening on the poker.

"Hey there's a note here." Travis said as he picked it up off the table and began reading it aloud.

"Note to Vee and Travis: I had to leave the city on business. Sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye you two were fast asleep. I'llbe back in a few days. Take care."

"Is it signed?"

"Apparently not" Travis replied, flipping the note over.

"Great we're stuck in Resident Evil 4 we think and we have no idea where we are. This can't be happening!"

"It is and there's nothing we can do about it. Maybe we should get some rest and discuss this a little further tomorrow."

"Okay" Vee replied, dropping the poker and going back to the couch and collapsing on it.

Travis went back to the chair and tried to rest, his mind going over the fact that they were trapped in a video game. He always imagined what it'd be like in a game but a first hand

experience was a little much to ask for. He struggled to stay awake but the whole ordeal had made him tired and the bump on the back of his head from falling wasn't helping. He faded into a light sleep.

They both hoped that this had been just a dream and that when they awoke, they would be in their own beds, in their own homes but when Travis was awoken by loud screams and curses he saw that it hadn't been a dream. "What's wrong?"

"We're STILL HERE that's what! It's clear that this is real and not just a dream!" Vee yelled, frustrated. "If only we knew where the heck we were! I mean I know we're in the Resident Evil world but where exactly! There is something wrong with this place!"

"At least we're in it together. Doesn't that reassure you any?"

"No not really. I'd prefer to have a shotgun and a Chicago Typewriter or better yet A WAY OUT OF HERE!"

The TV caught Travis's attention, causing him to block out the distraught Vee. "Hey look it's the news." Travis said, getting up and turning the volume up. "Maybe it'll tell us something."

"Welcome to the seven o'clock morning news. The weather today is going to be mostly sunny. A nice change after the weather we've been having. That's good news for you New Yorkers. Now to the news. "

"NEW YORK?" They both yelled in unison.

"Well… At least we know where we are now," Travis said, looking cautiously over at Vee hoping she wouldn't start freaking out again, but all she did was give a sigh of what seemed like relief.

"My best friend would envy us. She grew up here," she said, smiling slightly for a brief moment before sitting down and looking at the décor of the room in a grave manner. "Part of me wouldn't mind trading places right about now… Jeez, this apartment sure is ugly. It could use an interior designer…"

"I think we have more to worry about than who decorated right now," Travis responded, turning his attention back to the TV as a report about Ashley's abduction came on.

The cat that had given them a scare the night before came in meowing, and Vee went over to it.

"Hungry, little kitty? Let me see if I can find some cat food… What's your name, anyway? I'll be stuck here with you for a while," she said quietly, taking a look at the tag hanging from its collar. "Terwilliker? Like in Dr. Seuss?"

The grey and white cat just meowed again and she shrugged. "Okay, okay, I'll find you food."

Travis, meanwhile, wasn't finding the news to be very informative. The anchors constantly repeated the same information, and made various allusions to the fact that they thought Ashley might have been taken to the Middle East. How wrong they were.

He got up and began to wander around the living room looking for anything that might give them a hint of what their lives were like here.

He paused by a bookshelf, where there were books on any number of subjects arranged any which way. He looked over them slowly, until his eyes met with one of the most mystifying things he'd ever seen.

"Hey, Vee?"

"What is it?" she asked, poking her head around the corner, "Everything okay?"

"Take a look at this. I think I just found out who we live with." He pointed to a photo on one of the middle shelves, in an intricate pewter frame. She squinted, finally coming closer to see it better.

"Leon?" she said, her jaw dropping. The photo was indeed of a fairly cheery Leon Scott Kennedy, with an arm around each Travis to the right and Vee to the left.

"Unless he has an identical twin," Travis said, "And it would appear that we're quite close."

"Oooookaaaayyyy…" she said in a faintly uneasy tone. "I don't know how this world works, but it's sure good at making very unexpected things happen… I think I'll go wash my hands off now."

"Why? You didn't touch anything other than cat food."

"I'm an obsessive hand washer. It makes me feel better."

Travis followed her into the kitchen, and watched her scrub her hands while he tried to figure out what was happening. "What do you think we're here for? Could it be that we have to help Leon, or something?"

"Um…" Vee said, looking out the window at the side of another building. "Could be. Seems logical… What am I saying – nothing here is logical."

"But why do we have pasts here? I mean, even if RE is based on the real world to an extent, we still wouldn't exist."

"Well, the only thing I can think of is that we might be in another dimension…"

"An RE dimension?"

"Yeah, more or less. There's a belief that there are dimensions where everything in the world is exactly the same – like, the fifth dimension, I think - and where it's the complete opposite, and everyone who's nice is evil or whatever. Maybe there's a dimension in between… Dimension five and a half," she said, a slight smile gracing her features again just to fade to something different, this time, realization. "Wait… What are the titles of those books?"

"Why?" Travis asked, as Vee jogged back into the living room and stopping at the bookshelf.

"Let's see… The Stand, Pet Sematary, It, The Mail Call book, Colors of Life, Beowulf, Geek Love, Shardik, Watership Down, W.H. Auden… These are all books I have at home."

"Coincidence, maybe?"

"Unlikely. See this? 'Psychosurgery: Damaging the Brain to Save the Mind'. I spent a long time trying to find a copy of that because it was out of print, and I'm sure that Leon wouldn't read it. Is there anything else weird around here? Wait, there's a stack of CDs." She moved to another shelf at the end of the bookcase, running her finger down the stack of CD cases. "Aha! This CD didn't even exist in 2004 – All American Rejects, 'Move Along'! And these burnt CDs I didn't even make until around May of 2006. When we came here, we might have brought things with us, but that wouldn't explain why we have pasts here, unless we're in a dimension that's slightly similar to our own… Which would explain the lack of much else familiar to me…"

"But if we're here… Would that mean there are other people filling in for us at home?"

"I don't know… It's possible… I kinda hope not, though… They could totally mess up our lives… This isn't Quantum Leap, after all…"

"One thing I can't figure out is why two teenagers and a grown man would be living together…" Travis said, looking at the photo on the bookshelf again, and Vee nodded.

"You have a point. Some things are probably better left unanswered… Speaking of Leon, I guess we're going to help him?"

"I don't see much else around here that we could be doing in RE4," Travis said.

"I agree. But how do we get to Spain? I don't have a job as of right now, least of which, in this world… And even if I did, we'd still never have enough… We'll have to come up with some method of making money, fast… Any ideas?"

"I'd need time to think," Travis replied, and then added jokingly, "We could always try to win the lottery." Vee laughed for the first time since they'd found themselves in the strange apartment.

"That could take a long time. While we brainstorm, I'm going to go find some different clothes," she said, leaving the kitchen, and heading further back into the apartment. Travis seated himself at the table, looking around at the blue checkerboard motif running along the ceiling.

There were three adjacent small rooms on the right side of the hall and one that appeared to be the bathroom on the left. Vee slowly pushed the door to the first of the rooms on the right open, being greeted by the sound of music playing on a stereo next to the bed.

"… I need some love like I never needed love before…"

"Uh," Vee said, "I think I've just confirmed which room is Leon's." She peered around the door into the next room over, which was white like the living room, but with a dark green carpet. On the wall was a sign with her name in purple and blue that Vee recognized immediately as the one her best friend had made her. "Guess this one's mine."

The bed was to her right, footboard facing the wall opposite the door, where a window was positioned right in the middle, at the end of the little path between that and the dresser and wardrobe to the left. She looked out the window, and smiled when she found that below her room was a garden, and beside that under the next window, which she assumed belonged to Travis's room, was a basketball court, where children were playing. Turning to the wardrobe, she remembered she was supposed to be getting changed, and opened it.

In the kitchen, Travis was still pondering what they could do to make money fast, when Vee came back in looking herself over. She had changed into what appeared to be a black tank top with some sort of dark-colored canvas bands that fastened in the back running across it in three places. Her jeans, as well, had three of the same type of bands, only in studded leather, a few inches up from the ankle, and again above the knee.

"You think there's a reason why almost all the clothing I own in this world has straps on it? I feel like I'm in a strait jacket bodysuit."

"Maybe someone thinks you're crazy. Or maybe Leon did your shopping," Travis said, and Vee just gave him a funny look.

"Hardy har har. So, any money-making ideas?"

"Not really. Except for robbing a bank," he said. "You don't think Leon might have left any around here, do you?"

"Don't know… But before we raid his room, I just had one very far-fetched scheme… If we can scrounge up some cash, I bet we can rent a boat and take a trip to Rockfort."

"What for?" Travis asked in disbelief, thinking he knew what would come next.

"Temporary jobs," she said, with a devious grin.