I don't own Code Lyoko. Some French dudes do.
A/N: GASP! What is The Fifth Champion doing here? Humor? Everyone knows that you can't do humor! Only those deep, grueling, angsty one-shots… Heh. Well, that is true, but this popped into my head and I just wanted to give it a try. It's very light, so please don't take it seriously! Like ask why Aelita doesn't know what kissing is… It's just a joke.
Enjoy!
A Simple Inquire
Odd gulped twice.
"Er—what?"
Aelita smiled simply. "What is 'kissing'?"
A breath of fresh air breezed lightly through the whispering grass, caressing their faces with cool fingers—wait a minute. Fresh air? Since when did springtime bring fresh air? There was no oxygen out on this damnably sunny campus!
"Uggghhhh…well, it's this—action—that shows—uh—affection."
"You mean like hugging?"
Odd made a very strange choking noise.
"Uh…yeah, but—different. Very different."
Aelita giggled sweetly. Her eyes were like innocent green plains.
"How is it different? And why is your face all red?"
Odd's flushed face darkened to a deep cherry. "It's kind of…hard to explain, Aelita."
The pink-haired girl pouted in earnest frustration. Then a bright spark flared in her wide eyes.
"I know! We can kiss! Then I'll know!"
All the air left Odd's lungs. For a moment, he thought he might die. Instead, he found himself tugging furiously at his collar, as if attempting to loosen an ever-tightening noose.
"Us—"he coughed sadly. "Us…uh—kissing?"
The emerald brightness in Aelita's eyes dimmed somewhat. A dull blush crept up her cheeks, but she suppressed it.
"Oh, I get it," Her voice only quavered slightly. "You just don't want to kiss me. It's okay, I understand—"
"No!" Odd, yelped, as though in pain. "No, I totally want to kiss you! It's just…" Odd's mind floundered for an acceptable reason. It remained stubbornly empty. As usual. Finally, he resigned to the truth.
"It's just—I never—I haven't exactly…kissed a girl since Sam broke up with me…"
Aelita merely laughed.
"Don't worry, silly! I've never kissed a boy period!"
"Okay, Odd, where is this going?"
Odd laughed amusedly, lolling back on the plastic cafeteria chair with ease. He shoved an abnormally huge chunk of croissant into his mouth, making his thin cheeks bulge, and spoke thickly through a mouth full of crumbs.
"I'll tell you Jeremy's not around."
"ODD! I know what's going to happen!"
A weak treble responded. "What?"
"You're going to hug Aelita! Honestly, Odd! You're lucky Jeremy's checking on the super-calculator right now!"
"Uh, Ulrich…Yeah, but—different. Very different."
Ulrich's dark eyes remained dull in their confusion. He sighed.
"Just go on with story."
"Righty-oh, then! So where was I? Oh, yeah…"
"Kissing is sort of—difficult, Aelita."
An exasperated sigh replied. "What's so difficult about it? You've done it before!"
Again, springtime brings no fresh air. Less air, actually.
"Be—because! It, uh…it shows a very big emotion!" he exclaimed.
"And what emotion would that be?" Aelita responded tersely. She brushed aside a wave of pinkish hair. Her eyes sparkled like gems. Odd thought she was beautiful.
So he blurted it awkwardly.
"Love."
A strange silence fell like a heavy shroud over the entire place; the word seemed to imprint a lasting impression on the stifled air.
"Oh," Aelita breathed slowly, softly. Odd thought he saw something shimmer in her emerald eyes. Tears? "I used to think I knew what love was. But—but ever since I've been materialized, Jeremy spends so much time looking for the anti-virus and doesn't talk to me nearly as much…" The words left her in a rush.
Odd felt something inside of him crumple. He hated the despondent resignation plastered over her pretty features. Jeremy's angel. How could a genius let his relationship with the perfect girl slip away like it was?
Odd mustered all his courage.
"You know, Aelita, if you want a kiss—I'll give you one."
A long slurp of grape juice was suddenly interrupted. The cold liquid splashed down Ulrich's windpipe, causing him to hack feverishly. He glared at Odd with watering brown eyes.
"What are you trying to do?" he wheezed. "Kill me?"
But Odd was strangely silent. A wistful look had collected on his pensive face.
Ulrich smirked. "You made the whole thing up, didn't you?"
"I did not!" Odd huffed angrily. "This really happened, Ulrich! Back when you, Jeremy, and Yumi had to go on that weird fieldtrip for Mrs. Hertz."
Ulrich fought down the laugh bubbling in his gut. His grin widened. "Whatever you say, Odd. Now, go on…Continue with your little fantasy."
Odd scowled, but continued nevertheless.
Aelita looked stunned. Pleased, but quite stunned. A wide grin flowered on her pearly lips.
"Really? You mean it!" She was almost ecstatic with glee.
Odd gulped once more. What was he doing?
"Well, uh…" he edged towards her. "First, you—sort of—grab hold of the person…"
He snaked his arms around Aelita's lithe waist. Her sparkling eyes blazed into his nervous ones; they held a dazzling light he could never seem to grasp. Odd could see every spidery lash jutting from those emerald orbs. Her nose was so close it almost brushed the tip of his.
Odd's heart had ceased beating.
"Then what do you do?" Aelita inquired. Very simply.
"This."
And he pressed his lips against hers.
It was at that particular moment that Ulrich Stern died. He slumped back in his respective plastic chair, let his slack jaw hang wide, and simply—died.
Well, it was really more like fainting. But you get what we mean.
"Ulrich!" Odd cried, leaping to his feet. He waved a sheaf of napkins in front of the boy's paled face worriedly. "Now you've got to tell your story about Yumi!"
The End
A/N: Uh, remember…I have no feel for humor. I'm not very good at it. So be gentle! Oh, and I'm sorry if Jeremy was portrayed in a bad light in this fic. He's actually by favorite character, and I think he's really sweet. It was just…kind of necessary for this story. (Besides, I'm sure he has his side of the story too) Please READ AND REVIEW!