OK, I know this is like the billionth KH chatroom fic, but this one might actually stay on the site because it's not ENTIRELY IN SCRIPT FORMAT. And it also has some better screen names. List of screen names: Xemnas is The New Black, Xigbar is Patchy da Pirate, Xaldin is The Point Is, Vexen is Amazing Slushy, Lexaeus is Hulk Smash, Zexion is Finding Emo, Saix is Legolas's Twin, Axel is Pyromaniac, Demyx is iRock, Luxord is Lucky Jack, Marluxia is Petal Boy, Larxene is Barbie Girl, Roxas is I See The Light, and Lissa is Miss Murder.

So without further ado, this is "Not Another Chatroom Fic" by AyanamiEraclea.

Chapter 1

The Discovery of Screen Names

I See The Light has just signed in.

Roxas was sitting at his computer waiting for everyone else. He wondered what everyone else's screen name would be. After all, Axel, Demyx, and Lissa had made them all up. He thought his was cool. So maybe there was SOME hope. He sighed and typed in "Hello? Anyone there?" He waited.

Hulk Smash has just signed in.

Hulk Smash: So what do you think of the screen names, Light? Whoever you are? I think mine's OK.

I See The Light: It's Roxas. Yeah, me too. Lissa may have been nice for once.

Lexaeus thought about this. Then he began typing.

Hulk Smash: I just pray that the rest of us are all right.

Amazing Slushy has just signed in.

Vexen had just typed the password into his computer. He didn't know what screen name he'd get. When he saw, his eye twitched. "Slushy?"

Amazing Slushy: What the hell is a slushy?

I See The Light: Ice and juice blended together.

Hulk Smash: I think they made fun of you. They're supposedly saying that you're so old, Vexen (SEE I GOT IT RIGHT!), you're no longer ice, but melted ice. Clever.

Legolas's Twin has just signed in. "You have GOT to be kidding me. ELVES AGAIN? I AM NOT AN ELF! That's OK...when I go berserk on them, they won't call me an elf anymore."

Amazing Slushy: Elves troubling you indeed, Saix.

Legolas's Twin: Ha ha, Vexen. You got named after the soft drink Lissa drank too fast and spit up all over Xemnas yesterday.

Hulk Smash: I'm glad no one's using chatspeak. That's annoying.

Legolas's Twin: It won't be this peaceful for long. Sooner or later Demyx and the rest of them'll invade.

I See The Light: lyk dis? lol elfy

Vexen: What?

I See The Light: Like this? Laughing out loud, Elfy.

Lucky Jack has just signed in. "All right! This screen name ROCKS! I'm gonna join the chat thing!"

Lucky Jack: 'Ello, everyone.

Hulk Smash: LUCKY Jack?

Lucky Jack: Yup. Lissa's the best human being on the face of the planet. Your names are cool. I'll bet you I can guess who everyone is.

I See The Light: How much?

Lucky Jack: 10 munny.

Amazing Slushy: Spent the rest on blackjack? -sighs-

Lucky Jack: ...yes...

Hulk Smash: -sigh-

Lucky Jack: OK...Amazing Slushy's Vexen, Hulk Smash's Lexaeus, Legolas's Twin's Saix, and I See The Light is...Axel?

I See The Light: WRONG! It's Roxas. You owe us all 10 munny, stupid bastard.

Petal Boy has just signed in. Marluxia's eye twitched. "MY NAME IS NOT PETAL BOY!" Then he sighed. "Well, I might as well see how everyone else fared..."

I See The Light: Well it was better than I thought it would be.

Petal Boy: Yeah, very funny. You must be Roxas. You're so much of and idiot I didn't think it could be anyone else.

I See The Light: STFU.

Lucky Jack: Huh?

Hulk Smash: What?

Legolas's Twin: Damn chatspeak. Nice name. I thought it'd be the OTHER nickname they gave you, Mr. GAYful Assasain.

I See The Light: I don't know what it means. Axel says it all the time on the chat we go on.

Marluxia: Damn you all to hell.

Lucky Jack: We're already there.

Finding Emo has just signed in. "..." Zexion said. It wasn't SO bad. He could only imagine what the others were. He started typing on his laptop.

Finding Emo: This is classic. Lexaeus's a superhero, Vexen's a soft drink, Saix's an elf, and Petal Boy's the flaming faggot.

Petal Boy: Shut the hell up, Zexion. YOU got a cool name.

Legolas's Twin: Probably because Lissa was afraid you were gonna shoot yourself if you got something like...well, mine for instance.

Finding Emo: Cry me a fucking river, you elven hobo. How's it like being Xemnas's bitch?

Legolas's Twin: I'm one room away from you. I wouldn't say anything that you don't feel safe saying.

Finding Emo: ...empty threat...

Saix's eye twitched. "Oh. No. You. Didn't. DIE!" Zexion could hear the scream from his room, and apparently so could everyone else.

Lucky Jack: RUN ZEXION!

Zexion put his laptop away and jumped out the window. Lissa saw him falling.

"Make a wish, Demyx. There's a shooting retard." She walked outside to Saix.

"Stop. Go back into your room. Your boyfriend wouldn't want any interruptions, now, would he?" She batted eyelashes behind her blue eyes and flipped her brown hair. Saix put a finger up, thought better of it, and slinked back into his room. Lissa caught Zexion in mid air and floated him to his room.

Legolas's Twin: I'm gonna fucking kill you, bastard. Then I'm gonna throw your body out into a toxic waste dump. You hear me?

Finding Emo: -puts thumb up- Loud and clear, old buddy.

Lucky Jack: ...you know, you're just digging deeper into a hole.

Petal Boy: What, like you and your blackjack debts?

Vexen: I concur.

I See The Light: Let's not fight.

The Point Is has just signed in. Xaldin laughed. "You know, it's not so bad. Then again, I was a good friend of Lissa's when I taught her how to use weapons."

The Point Is: What are you all arguing about this time?

Petal Boy: -sobs- At least you got a good name!

The Point Is: I think it suits you. Who the hell's Light?

I See The Light: Roxas. Isn't my name cool? Yours is pretty sweet, too, Xaldin.

The Point Is: Thank you. Luxord, who in the right mind would name you LUCKY Jack?

Lucky Jack: It's 'cause I'm so lucky.

Finding Emo: That's why you lost 50000 munny in blackjack, poker, and Russian Roulette.

Amazing Slushy: And 'playing the ponies'...

The Point Is: Vexen's a slushy? He must be getting old. -smirks-

Amazing Slushy: Shut up, Xaldin.

Hulk Smash: We're fighting again. Aren't we supposed to be having a meeting?

Legolas's Twin: We have to wait for everyone to get here.

Finding Emo: Your boyfriend, too?

Legolas's Twin: I swear, Lissa won't be able to stop me when I kick both your asses.

Petal Boy: ...empty threat...

Legolas's Twin: Closet case...

The Point Is: You're just jealous because word got out.

Legolas's Twin: Look, I don't like tranquilizers, and you don't like destruction. It'll be a fair deal if everyone stops talking about it before I go berserk.

Patchy da Pirate has just signed in. "DUDE! WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Xigbar was singing. Like, he's only seen every episode of Spongebob known to man, owned all the merchandise and DVDs, and the theme song was his ringtone. So yeah.

Patchy da Pirate: My screen name is, like, the coolest.

The Point Is: I would think you'd think so.

Patchy da Pirate: Who're you?

The Point Is: Xaldin.

Patchy da Pirate: M'kay.

Amazing Slushy: Xigbar, do you think I'm old?

Patchy da Pirate: -like, awkward- It'll be OK, Vexen. Old people rock!

Amazing Slushy: -sobs-

Hulk Smash: We were just arguing about how so-called 'Lucky' Jack got his name.

Patchy da Pirate: Well...uh...it could, like, be a pun thing, ya know?

Finding Emo: Quite witty, actually. It's because Lissa's so smart.

Legolas's Twin: What, do you have a crush on her? -smirks-

Finding Emo: -smirks right FUCKING back, fucker- No, but I have a crush on Xemnas. Perhaps I won't be the bottom bitch this time. Xemnas could use some force.

Legolas's Twin: I'll kick your fucking ass.

Finding Emo: I'd like to see you try. Lissa'll stop you again.

The New Black has just signed in. "Wow. Very nice. I guess Lissa forgave me after all." Xemnas muttered.

The New Black: Good evening, everyone.

Legolas's Twin: Good evening, Superior.

Finding Emo: God, you are such a little lapdog. Wow. A captial S. You MUST be his bitch.

The Point Is: ...you know...

The Point Is: ...it's like you want to get your ass kicked.

Hulk Smash: I bet Zexion could take him on.

Amazing Slushy: Yeah, right. Only with Lissa's help. And Lissa almost got her ass kicked by him one time.

Legolas's Twin: Don't remind me.

The New Black: So did they call you an elf again, number VII?

Petal Boy: -giggles

Patchy da Pirate: I'M FREAKING SPONGEBOB! W00T!

The Point Is: ...that's very nice, Xigbar.

Finding Emo: I don't know what you're giggling about, number XI, when I know for a fact that one of the names they were considering for you was...

Finding Emo has just signed out. Zexion laughed. "God, he's gonna be in here in 5...4...3...2...1." Marluxia kicked the door open.

"You know, it isn't wise to have more than one person against you at a time. Especially considering that you don't really have any real attacks and that the two people who are against you do." Zexion smirked.

"You have twenty seconds to get me to tell you. LISSA! MARLUXIA'S ATTACKING ME! Starting now." Marluxia lunged at Zexion and grabbed him by the throat.

"Tell me, you FUCKING wastoid."

"Make me, you flaming faggot."

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"What, with a petal? God, you are SUCH a flaming faggot."

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? GET BACK IN YOUR ROOM, MARLUXIA!" Marluxia looked at Lissa, eyes turned to orange, and then to Zexion.

"You'd better tell me when we get back in there." He left. Zexion looked at Lissa.

"He really is dense. I only told him twice." Lissa laughed. Then she left the room.

Finding Emo has just signed in.

Barbie Girl has just signed in. "THAT'S INSULTING! I AM NOT A FREAKING DOLL!"

Barbie Girl: I find this name degrading towards women.

Petal Boy: It's OK. It's not as bad as Saix...-giggles-

Barbie Girl: -sighs- Another elf reference? Poor dear.

Finding Emo: Now...I only told Petal Boy twice what his screen name was going to be.

Petal Boy: WHEN DID YOU TELL ME?
I See The Light: ...we're fighting again...

The New Black: -sighs exasperatedly- Number VI, could you just please tell him what it was?

Finding Emo: ...the Flaming Faggot.

Petal Boy: I'M GONNA KILL AXEL!

Finding Emo: Actually, Demyx made it up. And you wouldn't DARE hurt Lissa's love.

The Point Is: Like he loves her back.

Legolas's Twin: Well, she's only thirteen. She's probably telling herself that he does.

The New Black: Poor girl.

Finding Emo: Well, I'm just saying, Marluxia. Don't touch him. She'll blow you up.

Barbie Girl: I do not act like a Barbie. I doubt I even played with Barbies back when I was Arlene.

Finding Emo: I bet you did.

Patchy da Pirate: There's nothin' wrong with dat. All girls play with Barbies.

Barbie Girl: But that doesn't automatically make me one.

Finding Emo: ...you're a Barbie girl...in a Barbie world...

Barbie Girl: As I recall, you already have Saix and Marluxia against you. So you're gonna mess around with a sadist like me?

Finding Emo: ...life in plastic...is fantastic...

The New Black: Stop immediately, Number VI.

The Point Is: Before you get yourself killed.

Lucky Jack: I've already witnessed you get almost murdered twice.

Finding Emo: ...you can brush my hair...undress me everywhere...because I'm a fucking SLUT...

Barbie Girl: KNOCK IT OFF! Or I'll show them THE PICTURE.

Finding Emo: ...you wouldn't...

Barbie Girl: Hell yes I would.

Finding Emo: FINE!

iRock has just signed in. "Let's see what they have to say, darling." Demyx said to Lissa.

"I concur." She said with a giggle, putting her glasses on.

Miss Murder has just signed in.

iRock: hi

Miss Murder: hi

The New Black: Cut the crap, you two. I will not allow chatspeak.

Miss Murder: lol demyx

iRock: yeah da sprr is trng to sht us up

Lucky Jack: Wow.

Finding Emo: That has got to be the most fucking retarded thing I've ever seen.

The Point Is: Didn't Superior say to cut the crap.

iRock: yeah

Miss Murder: lyk i dont care

Barbie Girl: Wow. No beauty. No brains. Unlike me, Miss Alice.

Miss Murder: eat shit

Legolas's Twin: Wow, Zexion, I can't believe you have a crush on THAT!

Miss Murder: zexy has a crush on me?

iRock: he better not have a crush on u

Finding Emo: I DON'T!

Miss Murder: i bet u do

iRock: u thnk she's smexy

Finding Emo: ...shut the hell up, Demyx. She's YOUR girlfriend.

I See The Light: so wats goin on wit axel?

Amazing Slushy: NOT YOU TOO! I EDUCATE YOU KIDS!

Hulk Smash: Seriously...

Hulk Smash: ...you guys need to knock it off...

Patchy da Pirate: let dem aln, deyr kds

Miss Murder: go ipatch man!

Patchy da Pirate: thx

Petal Boy: You guys suck.

Petal Boy: A lot.

iRock: STFU FAG.

Petal Boy: I swear...the next person that calls me a fag dies...

Miss Murder: ...

Miss Murder: ...fag...

iRock: lol

I See The Light: lol

Patchy da Pirate: lol

iRock: miss, u rox my sox off

Petal Boy: PREPARE TO BURN!

Miss Murder: ...my lmnts fire, u dork...

Demyx and Lissa were giggling. Then they tiptoed into Axel's room.

"Dude. Why aren't you on the chat? We're chatspeaking the hell out of them. We even got Roxas and Xigbar into it! Did you lock the volumes on the said computers yet?"

"I'm still working on Vexen's. Done. OK, I'm joining the chat."

Pyromaniac has signed in.

On the way back, Demyx turned to Lissa.

"Do you really think he has a crush on you?"

"Maybe." They laughed.

Pyromaniac: sup fuckers

Miss Murder: sup axl

I See The Light: nmu

Pyromaniac: nm

Patchy da Pirate: yo dude

Pyromaniac: yo prte

The New Black: STOP IT!
Finding Emo: ...you pissed off Saix's boyfriend...

Legolas's Twin: FUCK YOU.

Finding Emo: Tell your boyfriend that.

The New Black: Now, number VI, that's a sensitive subject and...

Finding Emo: HA HA HA! YOU ADMITTED IT!

Pyromaniac: so yeah

Pyromaniac: im bored

Miss Murder: me 2

iRock: me 3

I See The Light: im lvng 2

Patchy da Pirate: g2g

Pyromaniac has signed out.

Miss Murder has signed out.

Patchy da Pirate has signed out.

I See The Light has signed out.

iRock has signed out.

Everyone went over to Roxas's room to watch TV and eat pizza.

"Zexion has a crush on Lissa." Demyx said bitterly. "I'm gonna rip him to shreds."

"Now, now, Demyx...it's not like he's in her league anyway." Axel said, grabbing a slice.

"I don't like him anyway, baby, you have nothing to worry about." Lissa kissed him. "Because I love you."

Finding Emo: I'm going to make a record of that statement. You didn't deny he was your boyfriend.

Finding Emo has signed out.

Zexion started copying and pasting the entire chat into a document.

"That'll bring laughs for years."

Legolas's Twin: I'm gonna go calm down.

The New Black: Me too.

Legolas's Twin has signed out.

The New Black has signed out.

Barbie Girl: So anyone else have something to say? Wasn't this supposed to be a meeting?

Hulk Smash: Yes, but Lissa turned it into a chat.

Barbie Girl: I'm leaving.

Hulk Smash: Yeah.

Barbie Girl has signed out.

Hulk Smash has signed out.

Petal Boy: I need to go calm down. I've been called a fag a billion times today.

Petal Boy has signed out.

Marluxia looked at his flowers and sighed.

"If only everything in life was pretty as you."

The Point Is: So yeah.

Amazing Slushy: Yeah.

The Point Is has signed out.

Amazing Slushy has signed out.

Xaldin turned off his computer. "That was certainly interesting. But then everything in life is if you've got a girl like Alice around..."

Vexen bitterly stood.

"Chatrooms are the worst invention in the world." He said.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A bit long. I know. Lissa is me and this is based on a part of a roleplay me and a friend do. In which Lissa's paired with Demyx. Neft, who will be coming later, USED to be paired with Marluxia, but oh well. Summary on Lissa:

Alice Catherine Meridian is the Iza of the CSSN and frequently visited Ansem and the apprentices with her guardians, the late Ani and Arumi Ria, former Izas of the CSSN. Lissa now resides in Castle Oblivion with Organization 13.

So yeah. REVIEW, GADDAMIT!