As Laura waited next to the bus, the entire corps pulled over at the nearest rest stop as soon as the barricades had been let down on the highway, she held Jon's hand. The Knights were mulling around the crowded parking lot, many of them swarming in and out of bathrooms and resting under trees. No one had stayed to sleep on the bus, not after the excitement and fear flowing after the fire. After word had spread about the purple van lost ahead of the buses, the rumors swooped like the sparrows chattering in trees surrounding the rural rest stop.

"Really, Laura, calm down."

Jon shook his friend's hand reassuringly, gently warning her that she might start a scene if she kept sniffling. He had seen this girl go from indestructable to vunerable with a single word, knew Laura's habits and fears, but didn't understand a thing when it came to why Laura was still upset after finding out Thomas was okay.

"Either you love him or you don't, but you can't keep treating him like this," Jon said quietly, earning a glare from the girl attached to his arm. "Hear me out, Laura. You fell for him, hoping he would fall for you. When you finally got him, you misled him and pushed him away. Now you're in love again, after pretending he hasn't existed all summer. He might not be so welcome to see you after you gave him a surprise kiss and then caused chaos when you were the only Knight to notice the van was missing."

"Jon, you're supposed to be helping me, not making me feel worse!"

"I'm helping you by telling you what I'm seeing and I can't be the only one seeing these things."

"You're so frustrating," Laura stated bluntly, pulling her hand away and crossing her arms, still looking toward the parking lot entrance to when the purple van would arrive; they had to turn around and take several exits to reach the rest area they had passed about twenty minutes before the crash.

"You're confusing to any man, Laura," Jon stated, trying to be funny but failing. "And stop your look-out for the van: people are starting to notice how panicked you are."

"Really, Jon, you can go away now. I'm fine. Thanks for your help."

Laura's sarcasm grated on Jon's nerves. He had been more than patient with her, but the combination of extended travel exhaustion, stress for the upcoming Finals performance, and bitterness toward womankind in general brought on by Laura's irrational devotion to both loving and hating the blond drum major.

"You're kind of a creeper," Jon said before walking away, ignoring Laura's hurt and furious gaze.

It really didn't make any sense, none of it, Laura realized. All this time, practically all year, yearning after Thomas and then pushing him away. What was wrong with her? That irrational fear, the crankiness, the mind games and stress she both perpetuated and absorbed... None of it made sense. Laura could blame as much of it as she wanted on people not liking her, her own immaturity, and her inability to realize what she wanted. What she wanted was in the van pulling up the road into the rest stop, what she had wanted before and what she realize she wanted all along. Not just Thomas, but what he stood for, what Laura knew she was helping break apart.

Slowly, she turned around and got back on the bus, ignoring the rest of The Knights who were lifting their heads in interest and getting up to meet the van. Laura knew there wasn't much she could do without, indeed, looking like what Jon called 'a creeper.' She had never heard of that sort of person before, but knew what it meant. Indeed, there had been a lot of creepy things she had done and if Jon realized it, everyone else must realize it, too.

That was over.

Too late in the season, Laura realized her only focus, what should have been her focus all along, was doing well on the field.

..........................................

"Laura," Jon asked, "I need you to tell me what is wrong with you."

Finally, after nearly a week of evasive manuvers and feighning sleep, Laura was caught. She had tried to stay away from him, from everyone, even ducking Mr. Deleyney's questioning glances. The embarrassment of all she realized she had done caught up and the result was shame. Laura knew nothing else to do but throw herself into the field show, into her music. Music was one of the few ways to deal with heartbreak, to raise spirits, and, as Laura was realizing, to drown the drowning feeling deep in her stomach. The drowning feeling, the sinking and breathless realization of her immaturity, was all she chose to cling to. She wanted it to be one of the few feelings she felt until they arrived at the stadium for Finals, which was only a day away.

"Seriously, I'm fine," Laura responded, unable to get up and leave while still bent over her trumpet, cleaning out the spit and buffing off the dirt. She wished he hadn't picked this moment, of all the ones he could have taken advantage of, to talk about her feelings. She had felt better today, better than most days, hardly thinking of herself or what she had done. It wasn't necessary to dig all this up now, was it?

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," Laura responded, getting a little icy. "Not too bad, anyway, for a creeper."

Jon rolled his eyes and leaned against the bus. It was a hot day, mid August, and some of the only shade to find was in the shadows of the buses in the parking lot. Laura had found a semi-shady area away from the rest of the corp and had sat down to rest her shaking muscles. They had been practicing a new round of possible routines, the directors undecided in their course of action and thus making The Knights run through all of them. The result had been confusion, slight frustration, but Laura had willingly thrown herself into the drill charts. Not even her wrist, the old break-and-sprain as she liked to call it, was bothering her today; Laura's focus had been entirely on the routine.

"Don't hold onto that. Come on! You knew what I meant."

"No, what did you mean? If it was to embarrass me, you said the right thing."

"It was just getting a little obsessive."

"Jon, I know that one of the reasons I auditioned for this corps, to go through all the chaos of getting into a male corps and putting up with all the crap was to get to know Thomas. I basically followed a guy into a long term commitment. Not to one another, but to something I signed up for and can't easily get out of."

"That was one reason, yeah, but you loved The Knights. You liked this corps. Now, if you hated it here, it would be different, but you like this stuff just as much as the rest of us. It wasn't just Thomas."

Laura rolled her eyes, snapping the lid shut on her trumpet case and standing, ignoring cracking knees.

"I followed an obsession. Thomas was in the front of my mind most of this time, since I joined The Knights. I thought I really cared for him. When I finally had him, I got scared and pushed him away, but I also think it could have been because I did get him. I felt like I was chasing a dream, Jon, and he was that guy on the unicorn under the rainbow. I got to him and then realized that everything was nonsense, that I didn't want it after all, and got out. Now that I don't have him again, I want him back. It's stupid."

"Laura, every girl has her dream guy, okay? Every girl I've ever known has done pretty much this same thing, more or less. I don't know a ton about girls, but I'm assuming that they consider these guys as goals. They reach the goal and then move on. You simply, well..."

"See, you can't put it into words. No, wait, you can. Just one word: creeper."

She resisted the urge to laugh goodheartedly at the fact there was bus dust all over the back of Jon's shirt and a mark from where he had rested against the cool metal, but there was little good in her heart for Jon at the moment. Grabbing the handle of the trumpet case, Laura walked away to where Mr. Hamon was calling the corps together for an early dinner before everyone would start to load the bus, on their way to Finals.

"Our friendship has seemed to take a backseat to this obsession," Jon called after her, putting as much spite into his voice as he could without attracting too much attention to himself. "You obviously don't care about me."

"Jon," Laura said, turning around for a moment before continuing on her way, "I don't know if our friendship is something to throw into all of this mess right now. It's already a mess."

As she continued walking away, masculine short hair contrasting with feminine muscular legs, Jon wondered which mess Laura meant: their friendship or her feelings.

...........................................

The Knights were due to arrive at the stadium by 8pm, which gave Jon about an hour before his time was up. It was his goal, before the flags and other buses of other corps came into view and the focus had to be entirely devoted to performing, to make peace with Laura.

"I know you wanted to move seats," he said quietly, trying to keep accusation from his voice.

"And I knew it would be immature to do so," was the equally quiet response, devoid of emotion.

"Good," was the only thing Jon knew to say, knew what to say. She wasn't going to make it easy, was she?

"No," Laura answered, surprising Jon beyond his wits.

"What?"

"No, I'm not going to forgive you."

"Well, good," Jon said, raising an eyebrow, wondering if he should just give up. "I wasn't going to apologize. I stick by what I say."

"Good, because there isn't anything to forgive."

It was an answer that surprised Jon once again. Confused by the lack of sarcasm in her voice, he glanced over and saw a trace of a smile on Laura's face.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked carefully, encouraged by the glimmer of hope that Laura might be turning back to her normal self.

"No, I just want to say that, if you hadn't said what you did the other night, I would still probably be a nervous wreck, just as obsessive and creepy."

"I thought you were going to let that go!"

"I didn't say forget, I said forgive," Laura chuckled. "I'm still frustrated about it, but I think I've burned off enough anger and worry on the field that I won't have any energy to think about anything else but Finals."

"Good plan."

"I realize, looking back the past few months-"

"Oh, don't do that!" Jon exclaimed in a playful groan, letting Laura nudge him before she continued.

"I realize that practically every time I was focused on the corps, things were going okay. Whenever I was focused on Thomas, things went wrong. I think I act differently when I think about him."

"Well, that's only natural for girls who like guys."

"For not knowing much about girls, you sure seem to know what is natural for them."

"For not wanting to talk about it all, I think you actually do want to talk."

Jon and Laura smiled at one another, the smile growing wider and wider until they cried at the same time, "Bus hug!"

"You guys made up?"

Chris' voice came from the backseat, groggy.

"Well, were we ever fighting?"

"Laura just seemed to be acting weird," Chris replied to Jon, winking at Laura as he woke up from his nap. "But, if we're having bus hugs, I want one!"

Jon and Laura jumped up from their seat and crashed into Chris and his seat partner, less hugging and more failing happening as the friends laughed and joked.

"Hey," said the metalic voice over the intercom, "If we're all done being immature, we can sit back down and get some orders, ya?"

Everyone returned to their seat and sat back down, Laura muttering something about being done with immaturity with humor in her voice. Mr. Hamon was standing up in front of the bus with a clipboard, mustard on his shirt, a look in his eye that meant he was trying to be serious but too energetic to actually succeed. Something exciting was about to happen.

"Okay, Knights, we're just a few minutes away from the stadium we're going to be performing at, the Hubert K. Millinium stadium. No practicing, so leave the instruments on the buses and vans, and we're just going to take a quick walk around and then head off to our hotel, okay? We have all day tomorrow to practice and get used to our surroundings."

"We get a hotel?"

Jon was shushed by practically everyone around them, Laura grabbing his hand so he didn't feel too bad. No good spirits were broken, though, because everyone was catching the excitement.

"Be proud," Mr. Hamon continued, finally breaking into a grin. "We're here, we're going to do great, and we're not going to leave with any less than first place!"

"Lets kick some ass!" yelled one member in the front, causing even more of a ruckus than what Mr. Hamon's little speech had done. Soon the bus was practically out of control, but everyone quieted for a moment when they saw the stadium growing bigger and bigger through the windows, the bus finally pulling into the already crowded parking lot.

It wasn't quiet for long, the noise increasing as people started singing The Knights corps song in atonal voices. Laura and Jon hugged one more time before joining in with the merrymaking.

Nothing could have felt better.

Too much has happened to go into a ton of detail: 1. Moved and am about to move again, 2. College has been insane as I changed my major from music ed. to writing, 3. Signed the paperwork to get Hearts of Glass published, 4. Have been focusing more on the edit and rework on Hearts than the chapter updates (for which I apologize), and 5. I live in the Red River Valley, which has undergone a ton of natural disaster, including a record breaking flood. We have been evacuated once, will probably be evacuated again by next week, the school semester is all messed up, and sandbagging in the snow and rain is really horrible but needed to save the community. Please keep your thoughts with the community as we go through this difficult time. Thank you, readers! Really, I can't tell you how amazing you all are for tolerating my sporadic updates, for loving this story enough to encourage me to publish it, and for letting these characters into your hearts. I won't promise the next time I will update, hopefully it will be soon, and thank you in advance for those who will respectfully review. You guys are awesome!