Undercover

I was doing deep breathing techniques while my sister, Valerie, and my best friend, Mary Lou, were dancing around my living room. Joe and I had just returned from a wonderful two-week honeymoon in Jamaica six weeks ago. I was getting back into the swing of catching fugitives from justice – those people who my cousin Vinnie had posted bond for so they could get their sorry butts out of jail, only to thank him by failing to appear at court at their scheduled time.

And, now, I was looking at the irrefutable evidence that I was pregnant, an EPT test. "Oh, how could this happen to me?" I whined.

They both stopped dancing and looked at me like I was a moron. "Well, I mean, I know HOW. Why now?" I was frantic. This was not part of my plan at least not right away.

"Stephanie, why NOT now?" Valerie asked. "You're married. You're married to a wonderful guy who adores your every move, mostly. He's handsome. He's responsible. He will be thrilled. You are 34 years old, for God's sake. When did you think you were going to have children if not now?"

"Children?" I shrieked. "This is one. Singular. That's it." I'm not sure I can raise a hamster, let alone 'children'.

We could hear Joe pulling his Ducati up near the back door. Valerie and Mary Lou started giggling. "Can we stay?" Mary Lou asked. "I want to see Officer Hottie's face when you tell him he's going to be a Daddy."

"NO. Get out of here." I was pushing them toward the door. "I'm not even sure I'm going to tell him. Maybe I'll just move to the other bedroom when I start to show and he won't notice." I needed time to think about this.

Mary Lou bolted back into the living room to retrieve her purse, while Val went back to get Lisa, my 14 month old niece who was sleeping on the floor. I'm glad she remembered the baby. I didn't want any practice.

"Hey, Cupcake." Joe said as he walked into the living room. "Hi, Valerie, Mary Lou. What's new?"

The two morons just stood there with stupid grins on their faces. "Nothing. At all. Nothing is new." I stammered, again trying to usher them out the front door.

"Joe, can you take Bob for a walk? We've been busy and I think he needs to go." Maybe if I get him out of here I can have a minute to think.

"Sure. Are you sure everything's okay? You look sort of pale." He said.

"Awww. That is so sweet." Mary Lou gushed. "I could have been dead for 3 days and Lenny wouldn't notice that I looked pale. Isn't that sweet?" She elbowed me. I shot her a death glare.

Joe put Bob's leash on and they took off out the front door.

"What was that?" If I'd have had a gun handy, I may have shot Mary Lou. "You guys get out of here. I need time to think."

Valerie's parting comments were something along the lines of my needing to consider naming the baby Frank, after my dad, if it was a boy. She reminded me that she'd only had girls. Like I didn't know that.

For dinner, Joe cooked spaghetti. He's better in the kitchen than he had let on before we got married. I'm not. I intended to learn to cook someday, but right now I was concentrating on learning to share a bathroom without bloodshed. We did okay as long as he wasn't there when I was trying to do my hair or makeup. He made fun of the silly faces I made and early in the morning that didn't go over well. I had been trying my hardest to get up and around early so that I could be done working reasonably close to the time he was so we could spend some time together.

I was seriously considering chasing a skip tonight just to get away from him for a few hours.

"Why aren't you eating? Don't you like it? I think I make pretty good spaghetti." He was smiling that nice smile. I couldn't really tell if it included his eyes because his hair was hanging in his face. He always let it grow long but this was ridiculous. The part at the front could seriously touch his nose. It had been sexy in Jamaica, but come on. Get a haircut. I'd told myself that I was not his mother and I was not going to be a nagging wife, so I hadn't said anything. I was going to have to do something soon. My mother had told me to wait until he was asleep and cut it myself.

I reached over and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Yeah. You're a great cook. I just don't feel really hungry."

"Fair enough," Joe said. He wasn't really eating either. I could see the muscles in his jaw clenching and releasing.

"Did you have a bad day? You seem sort of … tense or something." I mumbled, forcing myself to take a bite. I really wanted to grab the glass of red wine he'd served me and down it in one chug, but I knew I shouldn't drink since I was pregnant.

"Well, no, I really had a great day. There's just something I need to talk to you about. I don't know how you're going to feel about it." He said, looking at me with a shake of his head to again clear his line of sight.

He had my attention now. Joe never got nervous about talking. That was my job. I put down my fork. He did the same.

He pushed his chair back from the table and said, "Let's go in the living room and talk for a few minutes. I'll heat your dinner back up if you decide you are hungry later." We both knew that if we left it out on the table that Bob would eat it before we got back to it. That was okay.

He raked his fingers through his hair before he started to talk and I caught a glimpse of his wedding ring. It was gold and shiny and a symbol that this great looking guy was married to me. I guess my hormones were already getting out of whack because I wanted to cry just thinking about him and how much I loved him.

After we got settled in on the sofa, Joe started, "Steph, I think you know that one of my good friends in high school was named Tommy Takata. Remember him?" I nodded. "Well, you know, most of my buddies from that period are either in jail or are dead. We weren't exactly on the prom committee, you know." He was smiling. I smiled back at him. "Remember Jeri Stapleton? I think she was in your class." He didn't wait for a response. "She was murdered about 10 years ago and it has remained unsolved. I feel so damn bad for her family. We've known for some time that it had something to do with small time organized crime. It seems that Terri Gilman is ready to help us with some details from her family members in return for some protection and some help in getting some information she needs about another crime family."

I felt my backbone stiffen up when he mentioned Gilman. He and Terri had been linked on and off for years, first romantically and then professionally, him wearing the white hat and her wearing the black one. I hated that I was so jealous of her. It was silly. Joe couldn't (no, wouldn't) ever do anything to hurt me on purpose. He was trustworthy, and he'd proven that to me over and over. That was something I couldn't even say for myself.

He continued, "Apparently Tommy Takata is either at the head of, or close to the head of, this other family, the one we think did Jeri in. Terri has asked me to help her get the information. Here's the part you aren't going to like." What? I thought him saying Gilman's name was the part I wasn't going to like. Now every muscle in my body was straining to hear the next words.

"I've been approved to go undercover with her in Detroit." Did he say undercover or under THE covers?

"We figure it will take about 4 - 6 months from start to finish and I'll need to be there the whole time. Tommy knows I'm a cop. We're fabricating a story to put out about me having a serious drug habit and getting fired. I figure if I hang around and look dopey enough for a while, Tommy will believe me. With this hair I think I can hide a lot of emotion." He chuckled. Okay, so he knew it was too long, he was getting ready to play a part. I was married to an actor now. Well, he had the looks for it.

"The second part of the story will be that I ran away with Gilman and we'll be living together. We figure the crime family will bug the slum we move into immediately since Terri has such a high profile with the Grizolli family here in Trenton. That means we'll have to look and act like a couple." He was holding my hand and looking into my face pretty intently at this point. Trying to read my emotion. I didn't have a cop face like Joe. My emotion was easy enough to read. I was freaking furious.

"What? You are leaving me after two months of marriage to go play house with Terri freaking Gilman?" I was off the sofa and screaming at the top of my lungs. He sat back, cop face on, arms folded, and waited for my batteries to run down. "I can't believe you are even considering it. How long have you known about this?"

"Just got it approved today." Joe said, clenching his teeth.

"You are telling me that you have been working on this and you didn't tell me? Don't you think I need to know if you are planning to take a hike?" I felt a tear slip down my cheek. This isn't at all what I expected. Six months with no contact with him. I'd be big as a house when he came back. If he came back.

"Isn't this dangerous?" I continued. "I thought you made it clear to me that your job wasn't dangerous. You are an investigator." I was sweeping the tears off of my face because they were really flowing now.

"Cupcake," he said, as he took me into his arms very gently – I think he was just trying to be ready in case I tried to smack him. "I don't want to leave you. If there was any other way I wouldn't do it. This homicide has been unsolved for 10 years and these are pretty bad guys. We need to get them off the street. Gilman needs to stop them from moving into her family's turf. We don't want them in Trenton. Tommy will believe the story that I have a drug habit and that Gilman and I are together. There's really no one else that can do this. Think about Jeri Stapleton's family."

"Think about OUR family, Joe." I was losing it. Not exactly how I'd intended to tell him, but here goes. "Yeah. OUR family. You swoop in, knock me up, and then head for greener pastures. My mother will die of embarrassment. Oh, and your mother will kill you."

His eyes were huge. He was speechless and frozen in place. Let's see how he handles this little turn of events, I thought to myself.

"Shit, Stephanie. Warn a guy or something." He was still sort of staring at me. He pulled me over by my wrist to sit on the sofa again. "Are you sure?" He swallowed big. "When did you find out?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I found out today." I was in that ugly, hiccuppy stage of crying. I knew I had snot and tears all over my face and hands. Probably not at my most appealing.

"This is great!" He was on his feet. "Oh, shit." He was sitting down again.

"I'll have to find someone else to go with Terri. I don't even want to miss one day of this." He was laughing at me. Idiot. This is his entire fault and he was laughing at me. I'd forgotten to pack my birth control pills on the honeymoon and he had told me not to worry about it. We'd gotten some condoms the second day, but I guess the horse was out of the barn by then so to speak. "Stop laughing!" I said and I whacked him in the arm.

"I'm not laughing, I'm thrilled. I just can't contain myself. I can't wait to tell everybody." He was heading for the door. "Come on. Let's go see your folks."

"No! Are you crazy? You are getting ready to have a drug habit and get fired and all. I'd just as soon not broadcast this bit of news all over town before you do." I wasn't going anywhere the way I was looking, either.

"Honey, I'm not going to go through with the operation now. No way. I can't do that to you. Not if you're pregnant." He was looking at me like I was crazy.

I was looking at him like he was equally crazy. "Joe, you are a great vice and homicide detective. You have a chance to bring down a crime family and solve a 10 year old murder." And sleep with Terri freaking Gilman while your whale of a wife is puking her guts up and gaining weight. "That's not an opportunity you can pass up. And you got it approved, which I know is no small feat."

He was looking striken. I knew he wanted to be in both places at once.

"Can't you check into 'rehab' periodically, or get arrested or something so I can at least talk to you once in a while?" I was crying again.

"We'll figure it out. Don't worry about it right now. Let's take Bob for a walk. We need to clear our heads. Cupcake, you have no idea how happy I am about the baby."

"The baby." I repeated. Shit, I was going to have a baby.