The Twelve Days of Christmas by Voldemort
Summary: The title says it all. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: Rowling's the owner like duh.
TFFD: I know Christmas is still far away, but still.
Christmas Cheer
Voldemort drummed his fingers on his desk, his brow furrowed deep in concentration. After a few minutes, he quickly grabbed a piece of parchment and an eagle quill. Dipping the quill in ink, he started writing.
Once he was finished, he called for Lucius. Giving the parchment to Lucius, he ordered, 'This will be sang during this upcoming party. Make sure everyone memorizes it and no one messes up. I'll be very angry if anyone does. You're dismissed.'
Lucius gave a small gulp and nodded, before exiting the room. Once in the privacy of his chambers, he unrolled the parchment and started to read, his eyes bulging wide with surprise. He read it over and over again, before he slowly started to burst out in laughter.
For the Dark Lord had written his own version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
The Twelve Days of Christmas by Lord Voldemort
On the first day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the second day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the third day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Eight blazing redheads,
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Nine Weasley blood-traitors,
Eight blazing redheads,
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Ten Ministers of Magic,
Nine Weasley blood-traitors,
Eight blazing redheads,
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Eleven filthy Mudbloods,
Ten Ministers of Magic,
Nine Weasley blood-traitors,
Eight blazing redheads,
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My Death Eaters sent to me
Twelve troops of Giants,
Eleven filthy Mudbloods,
Ten Ministers of Magic,
Nine Weasley blood-traitors,
Eight blazing redheads,
Seven new Death Eaters,
Six of my Horcruxes,
Five Philosopher's Stones,
Four Hogwarts artifacts,
Three house-elves,
Two Order spies,
And Harry Potter in a pine tree!
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