AN: This event happened before the end of Hana Yori Dango.
Disclaimer:I do not own Hana Yori Dango, nor the characters in it.
Silence
As Rui entered the doors of the Domyouji Mansion, he was greeted warmly by the hordes of servants, who after greeting him, went back to their routinely chores.
"Konichiwa Hanazawa-sama," Tama greeted.
"Konichiwa Tama-san," Rui smiled.
"Tsukasa-sama's in his room, moping around as usual," Tama continued as she motioned for this petite female servant to come forward, "Yoku-san will show you there."
"Alright," he replied. As much as Rui wanted to refuse, he simply couldn't because this is the norm in Domyouji's house. If he were to, so much, as force the servant to leave him be, they would get scolded.
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With Yoku leading the way, Rui couldn't help but look her over and admire how petite and fragile she looked. 'She reminds me of Tsukushi',' he thought, 'why does everything seem to remind me of her? If Tsukasa hadn't been in the picture, would I have pursued her? Being around her always gave me a sense of peace. I need to stop this…'
"Here we are Hanazawa-sama, would you like anything to drink?" Yoku politely asked, breaking into Rui's thoughts.
"No, that won't be necessary, thank you," Rui replied with a smile.
He walked towards the door and turned the knob, but before walking into the room, he glanced back at Yoku who was furiously blushing at the sight of Rui's smile. He stifled a laugh when he caught her staring at him, who then rushed down the hall.
He turned back around and entered Tsukasa's room. As he looked around, he spotted Tsukasa slumped on the couch appearing to be deep in thought. Not wanting to disturb him, he quietly walked over to the opposite couch and laid down.
This is how it normally went when he goes to Tsukasa's house and the other two weren't there. He liked this, being able to just be in the presence of someone close to him and not have to speak. They stayed this way for an hour or so before Tsukasa finally spoke, waking Rui from his nap.
"Rui…" Tsukasa slowly raised his head to look at Rui. " How come our friendship hasn't been the way it was before?" He questioned.
Slightly opening his eyes, he was met with Tsukasa's troubled expression. The seriousness of the question equally surprised him, he wasn't used to seeing him troubled unless it had something to do with Tsukushi.
Not knowing how to respond, Rui answered the question with another question, "what do you mean?"
Tsukasa remained silent for a moment before saying, "well, ever since Tsukushi came into our lives, our friendship has never been the same. Not that I didn't want her in our world, but since she came, it seems like there was always a barrier between us."
Rui was taken aback by Tsukasa's response. He knew deep down that it was true, since Tsukushi came along, it seemed that there was always some sort of rivalry between them, he just simply didn't give it much thought to begin with.
"I honestly don't know what to tell you Tsukasa, I didn't really give it much thought. Since we were young, we always had our differences. How is this any different?" Rui replied.
"It's different because it's not about a childish argument, it's about our friendship."
Rui remained silent, every once in a while glancing at Tsukasa.
"I know this doesn't come as a surprise, but I was really jealous of your relationship with Tsukushi. And in a way, I think I still am," Tsukasa confessed.
Rui had to smile at this. 'Tsukasa is still jealous even though he got the girl we both wanted.'
"In all seriousness, I have a question to ask you and I need you to be honest," Tsukasa said as he looked at the floor.
Curiosity tug at Rui, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it had something to do with his relationship with Tsukushi, "and what is that?"
Tsukasa looked up and focused his eyes onto Rui's, "what did you feel about Tsukushi… before and now?" he paused before continuing, "had I not been in the way, what do you think would have happened?"
'I can't believe he's asking me this. When I came here today, I didn't think it would turn out this way,' he thought.
Rui diverted his gaze onto a picture on Tsukasa's nightstand. It was a picture taken during a picnic with all of their friends, not too long ago. He saw the genuine smile on both of their faces as Tsukasa hugged Tsukushi. It pained him, yet it also made him happy.
Tsukasa turned to look at what Rui had been staring at, "so you really did have feelings for her," he whispered.
He looked back at Tsukasa, straining to hear what was previously said, "what did you say?"
"I just realized something," he paused, "you really had feelings for her," Tsukasa repeated as he continued to stare at the picture of him and Tsukushi..
Staring at Tsukasa, Rui was unable to say anything. 'what is there to say? I wanted Tsukushi, but she didn't want me, so too bad?"
Silence seemed to take over the room as the two friends both looked down at the floor, unable to look at each other.
Minutes of silence passed before Rui finally spoke up, "you really want to know?"
"Yes, I want to hear it from you," Tsukasa replied.
'Here it goes, I've been holding onto these feelings for so long, and now it's time to reveal it,' he thought, before opening his mouth to speak.
"Tsukushi's special," he began. "With her I felt that I didn't need to hide behind a mask, that I can be myself. She brings me peace when she's around and for that I grew fond of her."
Tsukasa watched Rui as he continued to listen to his friend's confession of what he had long figured out.
"At first, I didn't know what to do. I was annoyed at her persistent presence at the fire escape, but as time passed," he sighed, "I started to grow fond of her. It confused me," Rui held his breath and closed his eyes, as he embraced the feeling of a burden that's been on his back for a while, slowly being lifted off.
Rui took a deep breath before continuing, "why I was enjoying the company of another girl when my feelings for Shizuka were so strong? I just couldn't understand. And then Shizuka came back. It only made me realize how strong my feelings was for her." He looked at Tsukasa as he directed this question at him, "Tsukasa, if you had been in my position, what would you have done?"
Tsukasa pondered on the question for a minute, but he too, couldn't imagine what he would have done, and so with nothing to say, he remained silent.
Rui took the silence as a signal to continue, "when Shizuka left and I followed her, I thought I finally found the love and happiness I've longed for since childhood. But then I started to feel like a burden. Watching her, I felt like I was still a little boy living off of my dad's money. I couldn't stay there by her side knowing that I can't give her what she deserves. When I came back, I was heartbroken and even more so when I saw you and Tsukushi finally getting close. In a way, I was happy to see both of you smiling and getting along. But it made more confused as to why a part of me was jealous and why I acted the way I did. I knew you loved her," he glanced up but quickly diverted his eyes back to the floor, "it didn't take a genius to see that, but I was heartbroken and it clouded my train of thought. So when she told me she still felt the same way about me, I just took the opportunity to be with her without as much of a thought."
He then whispered, "I'm sorry Tsukasa. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Tsukasa saw pain in Rui's eyes, he had known for a long time that Rui had been hurt and it just finally dawned on him that Rui's tactic of keeping his feelings in only made him even more vulnerable.
"It's alright," Tsukasa reassured Rui, "I think we all longed for acceptance and to be loved. Something our parents couldn't always provide us since we were young."
Rui nodded, glad that Tsukasa understood and a bit surprised that his friend hid this side of him.
"I had my own mistakes as well. I pushed her away because I was always forceful and yet you were always gentle," Tsukasa continued, whispering the last word.
Rui felt sorry for Tsukasa because of the way he was brought up to act on instinct. "Tsukasa, I'm not going to lie to you. There was a time when I thought I would have been a better match for her. I thought that I could be the one to make her happy," he confessed.
Rui was shocked to hear Tsukasa utter, "then why didn't you fight for her?"
"How could I! I was torn between two women and I know I wouldn't have been able to give her my whole heart," Rui's voice started cracking as he said, "and then there was you. Your feelings for her was so strong and mine was unstable."
Tsukasa remained quiet, unable to will himself to ask about the time when he was in New York and turned his back on Tsukushi.
Sensing Tsukasa stiffen, he could only imagine what he was thinking about. 'New York, him turning his back on Tsukushi, and me… being there for her.' Yeah, that's what he's thinking about, what happened there had always been unspoken. 'He's curious about my intentions if he had not come after her in the air port.'
"You're thinking of New York, huh?" Rui questioned.
For a split second, Tsukasa looked Rui straight in the eye, but quickly turned his gaze to the left. He regretted what happened in New York. Thoughts of how he turned his back on Tsukushi came flooding back into his mind. How he had told her to return to Japan without him. The look on her face was full of pain and then acceptance that this was his final decision.
'What would have happened if I didn't run after her. If I didn't realize the mistake that I was making, would I have lost her?' he often wondered to himself but never got the courage to bring up.
As if knowing exactly what was running through Tsukasa's mind, Rui answered, "you might have lost her."
Rui's response shot chills up Tsukasa's spine. He had been afraid of that answer that confirmed his worst thoughts. It took a moment longer for Tsukasa to regain himself.
"Yeah.. I think so too," was all Tsukasa could manage to spit out.
Rui glanced at Tsukasa and saw the misery etched on his face. He felt bad about bringing it up, but it's better to get things out of the way.
"Would you have… if I hadn't," Tsukasa began but couldn't finish the sentence.
"Would I have pursued her?" Rui finished it for him.
Tsukasa looked up and nodded his head. He managed to keep his eyes locked on Rui's, awaiting his answer. He wasn't quite sure what to expect, but in a few moments he would soon know.
Rui felt the uneasiness of the situation and Tsukasa's dense eyes fixed on him.
"No, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have pursued her because it would've been of no use and it's wrong. She still had you in her heart, who am I to force myself into her heart when you were still occupying it." Rui paused as he let it out.
"Besides, how much of a friend would I be if I intrude in my best friend's relationship? I wouldn't want to break you two apart when you two are perfect for each other. You should know by now that I would do anything for the two of you."
Tsukasa released a sigh of relief, but something was still tugging at him. It meant that even though he didn't pursue her, he still loved Tsukushi.
Seeing the change of expression, Rui added, "no, I wouldn't have pursued her in the future because I know that you two will always love each other. Now tell me, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. You really loved her, that's all," Tsukasa silently replied.
"Look, Tsukasa, you need understand that whatever my feelings for Tsukushi is nothing compared to what you feel for her," Rui pleaded.
"I know, but sometimes I feel like she chose the wrong person. Sometimes I feel like I forced her to feel the way that she does."
"I guess.. I see what you're saying," Rui saw the look of surprise on Tsukasa's face, but he paused a moment longer before continuing. "But truth be told, I think she fell in love with who you are, you're persistence just helped her take the first step."
Surprise turned into frustration, as Tsukasa wondered to himself, 'what's going to happen?'
"Why are you having so many doubts now that you have her?" Rui wondered.
Tsukasa got up and walked behind the couch. He rested his hands on the back and slowly looked up, exposing a face full of sorrow.
Rui didn't know what to make of the expression that met his eyes, but he knew it probably wouldn't be good news.
Tsukasa opened his mouth as he slowly made out the words, "because I'm going to New York."
In took a minute for Rui to take in what he was just told. "What? Why? When?" his mind whirling with questions. His voice much louder than it normally is. 'Since when did this happen?'
With his voice cracking, Tsukasa explained, "my old man had a heart attack," he paused before continuing. "It's time for me to grow up. I need to start taking responsibilities."
Rui countered, "but I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with the Domyouji name, least enough their fortune or business."
"I know I said I was going to drop the Domyouji name," he sighed, "but it's foolish of me to think that I could just do it." He turned his head to take a glimpse at the picture on his nightstand. He stared long and hard at Tsukushi's smiling face. With sorrow filling his entire face, he revealed, "this is the time when my family needs me the most, I can't abandon them. We're not children anymore, its time I act my age."
Deep down, Rui envied Tsukasa's decision. Soon, he too, will have to take charge of his family's business, but then his mind focused on one person, Tsukushi. "What's going to happen to you and Tsukushi?"
"I'm not going to let her go," his lips formed into a weak smile, "I love her and I'm still going to continue to love her."
Still under a state of shock, Rui remained quiet.
"I'm not letting you have her, you know," Tsukasa firmly reminded Rui. He walked over to his nightstand and picked up the picture.
Hearing this, Rui snapped out of the initial shock and chuckled. 'He's still the same.'
Staring at the picture before him, Tsukasa continued, "I may be gone, but don't think I'll easily hand her over to you."
Rui just shrugged off this comment. "Well, when are you leaving and when will you come back?" He questioned.
Not wavering his stare at the picture, he answered, "I'm leaving a few days after graduation, but I have to prepare everything before I leave."
"What does your mom have planned for you?" Rui questioned.
"I'll be in New York to study business management for four years, then I'll be back."
"Your mom must be ecstatic with your turnaround," Rui casually threw in. 'That mother of his, she's so conniving. She better not take this opportunity to get in the way of those two.'
Tsukasa looked up as he put the picture back to its place, "yeh, you would think so."
"I wonder whether she has other things planned for you," Rui wondered following Tsukasa's movement.
"She better not. Onee-chan told me that mother had a change of heart when she heard about my decision." As he sat down on the bed, he grimly thought, 'at least I hope not.'
Rui's curiosity peaked when he heard 'change of heart,' "what do you mean?" Rui asked.
"Onee-chan said that mother has decided to allow me to make my decisions after the four years that I'll be in New York."
"She must have finally seen the difference that Tsukushi has brought into your life," Rui lightheartedly claimed.
"In a way I'm relieved, but when I think of being away from her, I don't know. I can't even imagine what's going to happen."
"It'll eventually turn out okay, I hope."
"I'm reminding you again. You better not make a move on her or else!" Tsukasa proclaimed.
"Or else what Tsukasa?" Rui joked.
"I'll declare a red card on you again," Tsukasa said with a satisfied smirk plastered on his face.
Rui peered into Tsukasa, "you're still the same immature kid. How are you supposed to manage the whole Domyouji Empire with a mind set like yours?"
That comment was meant to be a joke, but Tsukasa really thought about it.
"I really don't know. For the second time in my life, I'm actually afraid of failing," Tsukasa confessed.
"You'll manage. You are after all the 'almighty Domyouji Tsukasa,' Rui said.
"That's right, you better recognize!"
"Hmph.. yeah whatever,": Rui sighed.
Silence took over again as the two friends pondered on the future.
"When are you going to tell Tsukushi?" Rui asked getting back to the main point.
"When I get the chance to," he calmly replied.
Looking closely at Tsukasa, Rui felt the sadness. Sadness because it's obvious how hard the decision is for him, but also because his best friend's leaving.
Cutting through his thoughts, Tsukasa said, "I want to ask her to marry me."
Rui did a double take on Tsukasa. 'Is he serious!'
"What did you just say?"
"I want to ask her to marry me," he repeated.
Rui thought for a moment, 'will she accept?'
"Hmm.. are you sure?" he asked.
Tsukasa was hesitant before replying, "yes, I'm sure. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just don't know whether she'll accept."
"Tsukushi loves you, but with the way she thinks, she'll think you two are too young."
"I figured that's what she would say, but it won't hurt to ask. After all, I am the 'almighty Domyouji', who wouldn't want to be married to me!" Tsukasa shot back.
'Is he really going to be alright? He's still immature at heart. How is he going to handle a major corporation would the way he thinks?' Rui wondered to himself.
"That's enough, let's see you say that in front of her. She'll smack you silly!" Rui laughed as a vision of Tsukasa with a bulging lump on his head, came into mind.
"Yeah.. yeah," was all Tsukasa could muster. He was at a loss of words after imagining how Tsukushi will take the news. He knew Tsukusi will be devastated but being the person that she is, she won't show it. It pained him to visualize the future.
Silence once again reigned as both the friends were at a loss of words. Neither could think of what else to discuss.
"You know I'm not usually this serious, but I wanted to clear some things before I leave."
"I understand," Rui replied.
Tsukasa added, "do me a favor."
Rui nodded, waiting for what else he had to say.
"Don't tell anyone. I want to be the one to tell her," he quietly requested. "And please act like you didn't know anything."
Rui understood and nodded his head. He got up from the couch and felt the strain on his rear from sitting down for so long.
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That night, Rui tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. He reflected back to his conversation with Tsukasa. 'Wow, this must have really bother him,' he grimly thought. 'Well who wouldn't be, I'm just surprised, it never occurred to me that the change in our friendship affected him.'
His thoughts drifted back to the last thing they spoke about. 'He's leaving for New York and he wants to ask her to marry him…' He wasn't sure what to make of it. Sure, he was happy that Tsukasa's finally taking some responsibilities, but he was sad about him leaving. Not to mention, 'what will happen to Tsukushi when he's gone,' he wondered aloud.
Seconds later, the first sign of sleep came with a yawn. Not wanting to imagine of what will happen in the future, he fully embraced the thought of sleep.
AN: Okay, weird as it may seem, I got bored and voila.. this is what I came up with. I've often wondered what would happen once Rui and Tsukasa had a heart to heart. Gawh.. Sorry if it didn't flow too well. I'm still an amateur, it's only my second try. Please be patient. Oh and please leave a review! Thanx.