Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII.
Slight AU warning.
Don't forget to review when you are finished reading!

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Flowers Growing In My Mind

The Author Speaks: Italicized lines signifies words of the undetectable voice. Bold italicized lines means flashbacks. Bolded lines signifies Jenova's words.

Chapter XII – Angel

It's so dark...

Can you still hear me?

Who is that? Your voice is so familiar...

It should be, you idiot.

A melody was playing in the invisible background, a soft, sweet melody that used to come from the music box Cloud had received from the holidays. In this fantasy world...nothing was left. Everything had been destroyed. The reality was trying to combine with fantasy and his brain couldn't take it.

I've won, Cloud Strife. Thousands of years of near-extinction, and finally I found the perfect puppet. You may have become dependant of your strings for a few years, but that means nothing. In the end, you go back to your master.

Jenova, you bitch...

So rude for a filthy dog to be saying. You! Jenova had addressed the other, familiar yet strange voice Cloud could hear. Stop that melody!

Come on, dorkface. This melody you've heard plenty of times.

...The bar...Seventh Heaven, Tifa had this record that played it. It always reminded me of her. Cloud couldn't believe he had forgotten such an important song.

Do you want to see, Cloud? Hmm, do you want to see me, your destroyer? You're dead, and I can trap yourself in your own soul, going through this torture for eternity, until I transfer. Which will be soon...

Cloud opened his eyes. Jenova was standing in front of him. He was surrounding by black, and he couldn't see himself or anything else anywhere, except for the disgusting virus in a grotesque female form.

It reached out and stroked his cheek. "Such a handsome man, yet so weak inside. It's delicious," it said with a sick grin.

Cloud couldn't bat its hand away. He couldn't move or even find his limbs amidst all the darkness.

Jenova, you're a sick fuck you know that?

Oh, dear boy, I know.

Cloud wondered about death. He was in the realm, and there was no way to get out. He shouldn't struggle against the inevitable. He had already lost his will once, and it went away once again. Aeris would be lonely without him anyway, but he was never the suicide type.

His thoughts reverberated through the walls around him. The undetectable voice growled.

I swear to Shiva, you are even more difficult than you were back then.

XxXxXx

"Wake up you son of a BITCH! WAKE UP!" Tifa screamed, shaking Cloud.

"Miss Lockhart, move!" Dr. Kadowaki ordered sharply, the assistants quickly preparing Lightning materia-charged defibrillator.

"PLEASE! CLOUD!"

So many things were going on at once. The air was thick with tension and Tifa's screaming. Her friends were waiting with bated breath outside of the hospital room. Vincent threw open the door, tired of watching the brunette inadvertently prevent the doctors from helping in Cloud's resuscitation.

She kicked and screamed, trying to bite Vincent's hand, but he held on firmly, locking her in a tight hold against himself. "You're killing him quicker," he hissed into her ear, and she was suddenly limp, staring at Cloud with ruby eyes full of disbelief.

They watched as Cloud's heart was shocked, several times, each time producing no response. The hum of the flat-lined machine pierced through Tifa's brain, causing an indescribable pain as she watched them try to bring the man she loved back to life.

XxXxXx

We're getting nowhere. The voice sounded irritated. I can hear that thing. You aren't trying, are you?

Cloud shook his head. "Death is my release...Jenova is granting me a freedom that I should've taken from the start."

Jenova smiled. Suddenly, memories began to play in front of him, like a television screen.

Her smile perforated his thoughts. He had missed it so much. And, what was more, she was alright.

Aeris was kneeling in prayer, deep prayer that she had just finished. Her sparkling eyes bore into his with happiness. His straitlaced lips did not move, but on the inside he was smiling.

"I knew you'd come," she told him in her sweet, gentle voice. "You see? Everything's going to be alright."

He was silent. He couldn't think of what to say, or do. He had half a mind to wrap himself around her, or just say hello...he could feel the warmth of his friend's smiles close by. Everyone was back together again. And everything was going to be alright.

Cloud knew what was coming. Despite that, the feelings he had back then came back to life. His relief and happiness...

Cloud felt something close by, yet he disregarded it. It wasn't important.

"I knew we'd see each other ag—" Suddenly, she paused. Someone had appeared behind her. She turned her head, and that's when the sword went through her.

It all happened in a few seconds. The Masamune pierced her heart, and she fell forward, gasping. Cloud's relief lingered, and then transmuted into realization and horror. His stomach began to twist into knots, and when he looked up at a smirking Sephiroth, his eyes sent an amused glance at him before pulling the sword out of Aeris. Her upper body flew up, almost gracefully, and her hair tie ripped open, undoing her ponytail. The green materia in her hair fell, and she fell.

"Cloud..." she whispered.

"No!" Cloud screamed, dropping his sword and running forward, stooping and catching Aeris.

It was too late. She was dead before he caught her. Her eyes were closed and her pink lips loosely closed. Cloud didn't know what to feel. He was completely numb.

Cloud shook his head, close to crying. Jenova was wrapping itself around him, almost teasingly.

Do you want to see more?

Cloud nodded silently. "This is my reason for welcoming death."

"Aeris," he said in a monotone. He shook her gently, and she did not respond. His emotions were like roulette. He went from numb to denial and misery.

"This can't be real!" he yelled.

Sephiroth, who had been watching them almost casually, chuckled. "Do not worry. Soon the girl will become part of the Planet's energy. All that is left is to go North. The 'Promised Land' waits for me over the snowy fields. There I will become a new being by uniting with the planet. As will this girl..."

Cloud didn't care what he was saying. All he could think of was the woman now lying dead in his arms. A bright, happy young woman whom he loved so much. The first real person he trusted. The only one who could make him smile and laugh.

And Sephiroth, that fucking BASTARD, had the nerve to talk about his plans. Nonchalantly. He referred to Aeris as 'this girl'. He didn't even know her fucking name. And he fucking KILLED her! Killed her so easily, taking away a life like he had the right, the right to decide Cloud's misery and happiness.

"Shut up," he said. Thinking of Sephiroth filled him with pure hatred.

Sephiroth paused, and looked at Cloud almost amusingly.

"The cycle of nature and your stupid plan don't mean a thing," he said in a deathly quiet voice.

His heart ripped open. "Aeris is gone."

He felt his eyes start to burn, and a lump formed in his throat. "Aeris will no longer talk, no longer laugh, cry...or get angry..."

His voice grew heavier with each word. He could hear her laughter, her voice, her tears and her angered shouts in his mind. And now, her lips were frozen forever, to move nevermore.

"What about us..." he didn't mean him and his friends. He wasn't even thinking of them. They didn't matter right now. Nothing but this beautiful woman mattered. This dead flower. "What are WE supposed to do?"

They had made so many plans. He had promised her a ride on an airship. Now, that was never possible. He went with her on a date, and they had the most wonderful time. Aeris promised to become his lover after they saved the Planet. Aeris talked about buying the house in Costa Del Sol, just for them. She wanted to laugh about all their memories, everything they had done. She couldn't anymore. Her brain locked everything away, too far for her to reach.

"What about my pain?" Cloud questioned him, his voice a dull roar. He had never felt so horrible in his life.

He felt her blood on his hands. Her fucking blood on his goddamn HANDS. "My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!"

He held her close to him, in a desperate attempt to comfort her body. Tears slipped out his azure eyes and he wanted to die. He just wanted to die, end it all, and lie next to her forever.

"Stop!" Cloud yelled, crumpling to the ground, shaking. He held himself and cried.

Jenova watched him, fascinated. It's amazing how humans can keep themselves so attached to a memory for so long.

Cloud! Stop thinking of her in such a sad light! What about all of the good times?

"I can't anymore! Everything is attached to her death. I can't. I just..." Cloud rubbed his eyes. "I'm too weak to fight away the pain."

Then turn the pain into acceptance. You'll never be with her. You have to learn to live without her. You know she can only see you when you can open yourself up.

Don't listen to the fool! If you wake up, you'll be back in that misery you call a life!

Cloud thought. He thought for a long, long time. He was silent, and thought.

"Death..."

Aeris smiled at him. "Let's be sure to make some good memories, together. Even when we're in the Lifestream."

"Life..."

Tifa broke a dish and cursed loudly. Denzel gawked at her and Marlene giggled. Cloud didn't understand why it was so funny.

"Death..."

"The Promised Land, just for the two of us. Together forever. That's true devotion, isn't it?" Aeris asked him.

"Life..."

"I'm tellin' you foo' this goddamn oil deal aint gonna be easy that's fo' sure!" Barret exclaimed, slapping down his paper. "Damn limited supply. Even more than the Lifestream."

Cloud stared out at the church. Why was he listening to something he didn't care about?

"Death..."

Zack watched him running from a couple of Bombs. He laughed hardily and sent some ice magic at them, sending them away. "For a new guy, you're more amusing than I thought. Don't worry, next time I'm sure you'll remember that you've got materia in your pocket."

"Life..."

"The Forgotten City is beautiful," Vincent said in his deep voice.

"...I hate it."

"Because of the memories?"

"..."

"Death..."

Aeris was sitting in a vast field, picking flowers. "I think they compliment these small ones nicely. Let's make a basket together, okay?"

"Death seems so much more rewarding." Cloud felt Jenova on him, hissing in excitement.

No! Please, don't do it! For pete's sake, you aren't stupid! Think of what Aeris would want!

"Aeris is DEAD! She can't think of anything!" Cloud yelled.

That's right. Let me kill you.

Jenova's silky hands snaked around Cloud's chest. It opened it's mouth, ready to bite down on him and extinguish his wounded flame.

Cloud, listen to me!

The voice changed, and Cloud's eyes widened. Suddenly, the black was thrown away as light began to stream. It was almost blinding, and comforting.

Jenova backed away from Cloud, growling. "What is this?!"

You can't bind her away forever!

"No...you...you bitch!" Jenova yelled, falling, its hideous blue skin beginning to swell and burn up. It clawed the white background angrily. "Stop this!"

Cloud stared at Jenova was burned away, screaming and hissing the entire time. The light was warm, and he felt like he could sink into it.

He turned, and saw a separate light shining. It was pink-hued. His eyes widened as he saw an angel, with humongous white pearly wings outstretched.

And a pink dress.

"A-Aeris?"

She smiled. "It's time for you to go back home. Everyone's waiting."

She floated towards him, arms open wide. Cloud's eyes blurred with tears and she grew nearer, sinking into him with her ghostly lips pressed against his.

"You're forgiven..."

XxXxXx

"What are you doing? Shock him again! He's still...do it again!" Tifa ordered angrily.

The doctors worked silently, not wanting to break the news to her. They positioned Cloud underneath the blanket, and Dr. Kadowaki took the clipboard.

"Tifa, he's...gone."

Tifa knew that. But she didn't want to know that. She didn't acknowledge it. "Shut up! He's not!"

He didn't look distraught. He looked asleep, peaceful and happy. Tifa sank to her knees by his side. She began to cry, tears pouring down her cheeks. Her friends piled into the room; Yuffie bawling, while Reeve cried silently. Barret could barely hold it in, and Cid leaned against the wall, shielding his face. Red XIII howled in a sepulchral tone, and Vincent did not cry, but felt horrible. Another friend, another loved one gone.

Dr. Kadowaki nearly cried himself. He had seen how dedicated Cloud's friends were to him, always being there for him and going through everything together. Their bond was strong, and yet could crumble so easily.

He got out a pen and began to scribble on the clipboard. "Time of death, seven forty-two pm, date..."

Cloud's eyes opened silently. He was met with a bright light shining above, and for a minute he thought he was in heaven. He soon came to realize he was staring up at a hospital ceiling.

So, he was back in reality. His heart sank, and then resurfaced quickly. He didn't realize how much he had missed his friends.

The angelic Aeris was fresh in his mind. Her conscience personified had evolved, into his full guardian angel...and the voice that was so familiar, Zack, his bodyguard.

He turned his head. All of his friends were crying by his bedside. He suddenly felt very guilty about making them feel miserable. A familiar thick head of brown hair was weeping on his mattress.

"Tifa," he spoke quietly, pleasured at hearing his real voice.

She hiccupped. "What?!" she snapped, looking up. She hadn't meant Cloud, of course. But seeing his watery eyes watching her was a welcome sight. She gasped loudly. "CLOUD!"

He smirked weakly. "Hi."

Dr. Kadowaki nearly dropped his clipboard. "How is that possible?"

"Cloud!" Barret exclaimed happily. "Ya bastard, I knew they couldn't keep yo' head in da grave!"

"...Shit," Cid said, "you made me cry for nothing." He lit a cigarette. "Now I can finally relieve myself."

Cloud chuckled. "Did you all miss me?"

Tifa threw herself onto him. "I hate you so much! I've been worried sick for months! You bastard, how dare you make me feel so miserable!"

Cloud winced. "Tifa, you're going to crush me."

"Ooh...you!"

Cloud didn't understand why he had been so depressed before. Why had he wanted death? Life, he had a chance to make it all right. His friends hadn't abandoned him, and he felt stupid for thinking about abandoning them.

He hugged Tifa, and laughed for the first time in years.

He had never been so happy to be alive.

XxXxXx

Six months later...

Aeris twirled a yellow flower in her fingers, whistling. "It's amazing how long it took you to arrive."

Her black-haired ex stuck his tongue out at her. "Excuse me for getting on the wrong current," he said, falling back onto the field surrounding him. "Doesn't the landscape get boring?"

"Not at all. I think I should find different kinds of flowers though. Make a huge garden!" Aeris squealed in a fangirl voice.

Zack rolled his eyes. "Kill me now."

"Hasn't that already been done?" Aeris asked innocently.

"Thanks. Boost up my self-esteem." He stood up. "I hear something."

"That must be Cloud! It's been ages since he's visited me," Aeris sounded very happy, although Zack couldn't fathom why.

"That's how a motorcycle sounds? It's very loud and choppy then." Zack squinted, trying to make out the black shape in the distance. Or, shapes. "Hey, there's more than one vehicle coming this way."

Aeris clapped her hands together. "Cloud must have brought my friends! He's never done that before." She smiled. "He's finally happy. That's why he doesn't have to come and see me as much. I'm more like someone who's moved away now...we keep in touch, but he moves on."

"Cloud can bring other people to his Promised Land? That's kinda weird."

"It can be done. They have connections to me, remember?"

"Well, I don't wanna interrupt your party, so I'll go," Zack said, turning.

He felt a tug on his arm. Aeris was holding it, dragging him towards the approaching vehicles. "I don't think so!"

"Hey, come on! I'm shy with girls!" he exclaimed in a whiny voice.

"Yeah, of course you are!"

"Oh man, Aeris!"

"Come on, there's this girl named Tifa I know you'll like!"

She laughed and she let go of his hand, running to meet her friends. The sun shone overhead while birds flapped over the expansive seas. The lazy clouds and the cotton skies were not a figment in a dream. No, they were real. And they were beautiful.

XxXxXx

My first completed full fanfic! I feel really happy, and I'd like to say thanks to the creators of and Final Fantasy VII. Also, I want to thank my fans who enjoyed reading this fic, and who supported me the whole way. I might put up that Cloud/Aeris story I took down, Eden's Respite, but not for a while. I'm planning on an AU Cloud/Aeris fic that I want you all to read when I get it up!

In the meantime, stay sharp and good company!

Until next fic,

JadeCrescent Fallen