AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is it, folks. The final chapter. I still own nothing, but I don't really care, because now I don't have to type up these author notes anymore.
17. ANOTHER TYPICAL TACKED-ON HOLLYWOOD HAPPY ENDING – BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO GO HOME UNHAPPY
(Scene switches to a completely white background. We see CLOUD floating against the white background. This is apparently supposed to be heaven, but again, Square Enix ran out of money because of that stupid bonus, so they couldn't afford to make it look any cooler. Then AERITH reaches down and touches CLOUD's head.)
CLOUD: …Mom? Is that you?
AERITH: Sorry, Cloud. I'm not your mother either. I have met her, though. She seemed really nice. (to ZACK) It's funny how people keep mistaking me for their mother, isn't it?
ZACK: It's amusing, I'll give you that. But for what it's worth…I always thought you'd make a damn good mother, honestly. You were always pretty good with kids, and…
AERITH: Zack, we were teenagers when we were dating.
ZACK: And you had already matured far beyond your years.
AERITH: Funny you should say that, because there were days when I wondered if you'd ever act your age rather than your shoe size.
ZACK: True, but I always had pretty big feet, so I was never really that far off.
AERITH: (looks at CLOUD, although we can't see her face) So…what are we going to do with our old friend Cloud? Should he stay or should he go?
ZACK: If he goes, there could be trouble.
AERITH: But if he stays, there could be double.
AUDIENCE: Come on, you've got to let us know! Will he stay or will he go?
(ZACK and AERITH think about it for a moment.)
AERITH: You know what? We should let him go.
ZACK: Are you absolutely sure? I mean, you've got him all to yourself now, don't you? This is your chance to fulfill the love you never got a chance to share with him.
AERITH: How did you know that I loved Cloud?
ZACK: I read The Maiden Who Travels The Planet, Aerith. And I always kind of had a feeling you had a crush on him while you were still alive.
AERITH: You did?
ZACK: You're not the only one who likes to watch over people you cared about. It's a pretty common practice around here, actually.
AERITH: But still…as much as I'd love to be able to spend time with him again, I think we should send him back…just in case the world needs him again.
ZACK: (to CLOUD) You hear that, buddy? Looks like you're going home.
AERITH: (to CLOUD) Oh, and before you go…consider yourself forgiven.
(CLOUD appears to fall away from the white screen. It looks more like he's shrinking, but he's supposed to be falling. Suddenly he comes to a stop. The wolf that we've been seeing throughout the film shows up beside CLOUD and then vanishes into thin air, making it blatantly obvious what it was supposed to symbolize.)
CASUAL GAMER: That's it! I've finally got it!
FF7 FANBOY: Me too! I finally know what that wolf was supposed to symbolize!
CASUAL GAMER: …You first.
FF7 FANBOY: No, you first. I insist.
CASUAL GAMER: All right…the wolf symbolizes Cloud's personality, and its disappearance here is meant to signify a change in that personality.
FF7 FANBOY: …I'm afraid I don't follow.
CASUAL GAMER: Think about it. For the entire film, Cloud – sort of the alpha male of the cast of FF7 – has been doing his own thing. He's been shutting his friends out and going off by himself to do things. He spends most of his time making deliveries by himself. He runs his delivery service pretty much by himself. He hardly does anything at all with the help of others. So during the film, his big lesson is that he can't always depend on just himself – that he has friends to help him when he needs it. The disappearance of the wolf represents the epiphany – the moment that Cloud changes and starts becoming less antisocial.
FF7 FANBOY: And why would they use a wolf to symbolize that?
CASUAL GAMER: Well, what do we call a guy like Cloud who tends to go off and do things on his own most of the time? We call him a lone wolf. Therefore, the individual wolf, as opposed to a pack of wolves or anything else for that matter, is a totally appropriate symbol for his antisocial behavior.
FF7 FANBOY: …You, my friend, are a total fucking idiot.
CASUAL GAMER: What? Why? I thought that sounded pretty damn rational.
FF7 FANBOY: The wolf is clearly meant to symbolize Cloud's guilt. We see it in the beginning sniffing around Zack's sword, and we later see it standing near the lake where Aerith was laid to rest. Both are characters whose deaths Cloud claims responsibility for. The disappearance of the wolf represents Cloud being forgiven and freed of his guilt at last. If it was really meant to represent a change in his personality it would have disappeared during KICKASS ACTION SCENE #4. Therefore, I am right, and you are a total fucking idiot.
CASUAL GAMER: Well, maybe it's supposed to represent both.
FF7 FANBOY: No, it isn't. Using the same symbol for multiple concepts is too confusing. The wolf is only meant to symbolize his guilt. That's it. End of story. I'm right, and you're wrong.
CASUAL GAMER: Okay, then. So tell me something, Genius McSmartypants…why would they use a wolf to symbolize guilt? Is there any specific reason for that?
FF7 FANBOY: …
CASUAL GAMER: Well?
FF7 FANBOY: …
CASUAL GAMER: Come on, Einstein, you can tell me.
FF7 FANBOY: Well…you don't really need a reason for something to be a symbol. You just need it to symbolize something.
CASUAL GAMER: You're just pulling these answers out of your ass, aren't you?
FF7 FANBOY: I'm still right, though.
CASUAL GAMER: Oh, whatever. We've taken up way too much time with this little debate anyway. You can think whatever the hell you want.
(On with the film!)
(Scene switches back to AERITH's church, where CLOUD suddenly wakes up. He is floating in a pool of water in the middle of the church. There are kids standing all around him.)
CLOUD: Whoa! (splashes frantically as he tries to get to his feet) What's all this? How the hell did I get here? … Was I dead?
RANDOM LITTLE GIRL: She told us you'd come back.
CLOUD: (even more confused) Who told you I'd come back?
(CLOUD looks over and sees the rest of his friends.)
CLOUD: Uh…hi, guys. A little help here would be great.
VINCENT: The pool you're standing in is filled with holy water that cures geostigma, we were the ones who found you and brought you here, and we never actually checked to see if you were dead. We always just kind of had a feeling that Square Enix would give in to the pressure to tack on a Hollywood happy ending where you don't die after all, rather than a more poignant ending where you die a hero and are reunited with your two dead friends to finally make peace with their spirits. So we didn't even bother checking your pulse, let alone make funeral arrangements. And what do you know…our assumptions were correct all along, and here we are appearing in yet another typical Hollywood happy ending.
CLOUD: Uh…thanks. So, who said I'd be coming back?
VINCENT: Now that one I can't help you with. I have no idea what that kid was talking about.
CLOUD: Oh. Well, I guess it doesn't really matter now, does it? (smiles for the first time in the entire film, and possibly the first time in his entire life) I'm back!
RED XIII: And while it's great to have you back – and to finally say something in this friggin' movie – there are still kids with geostigma.
TIFA: (standing next to DENZEL) Actually, I think Denzel's the last one. Everyone else who had it was cured by the rain.
RED XIII: Well, isn't this just peachy. My only line in the entire film and I end up sounding like an imbecile. Thanks a lot, Square Enix.
(TIFA then talks to DENZEL.)
TIFA: Go ahead, Denzel. I think it's about time we cured your geostigma. What do you say?
DENZEL: Sweet! (jumps into the water and walks over to CLOUD) Okay, Cloud, do the honors.
(CLOUD cups his hands, fills them with water, and drops it over DENZEL's head, curing his geostigma.)
CLOUD: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
DENZEL: What?
CLOUD: …I have no idea. I just felt like saying it.
CID: Hey, kids! POOL PARTY!
(All the kids jump into the water.)
BARRET: A pool party? Aw, hell yeah! (runs toward the water)
CLOUD: Barret, NO!
(BARRET does a cannonball into the water. Most of the water comes flying out and drenches the rest of the main cast.)
YUFFIE: Hey! There's WATER on my boots!
(CLOUD looks all around and sees kids playing in what's left of the water, thanks to BARRET's cannonball. He then looks over at his friends and sees TIFA giving him a look that basically says, "As soon as the cameras go off, you and I are finding a place to make out.")
CLOUD: Hey…
TIFA: What?
CLOUD: Why are you looking at me like that?
TIFA: Like what?
CLOUD: The way you're looking at me.
TIFA: I'm trying to be subtle.
CLOUD: Subtle? About what?
TIFA: About my urges to do this. (jumps in the water and gives CLOUD a passionate kiss on the mouth)
CLOUD: …Wow. That really explains a lot.
TIFA: You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.
CLOUD: Actually…I always kind of had a feeling in the back of my mind that you did.
TIFA: Really?
CLOUD: Yeah. I just never did anything because I was afraid you'd tell me we were just friends and I'd have ended up making an ass of myself.
(TIFA smiles and hugs CLOUD. We then see BARRET surrounded by a bunch of kids, including DENZEL.)
BARRET: Hey, Tifa! We're about to start a game of Marco Polo! You wanna play?
TIFA: Sure! (goes over to join BARRET and the kids) You coming, Cloud?
CLOUD: …I'll be right over.
(He looks around a little more and sees AERITH and ZACK standing near the door.)
ZACK: Whoa! I know it's been seven years since I last saw her, but damn…Tifa's even hotter than I remember!
AERITH: (punches ZACK's shoulder) Zack!
ZACK: Sorry. Hey, look – I think Cloud can see us.
(AERITH looks and sees CLOUD staring at them. It's the first time we see her face in the entire film.)
CLOUD: So that's what you look like in CG.
AERITH: Hello again, Cloud. Just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all.
CLOUD: Thanks for all your help.
AERITH: My pleasure. I could never stay mad at you, Cloud.
CLOUD: I'm glad to hear it. So…will I ever see you again?
AERITH: Of course you will, someday. We've got Kingdom Hearts 3 coming up, after all.
ZACK: Well, we'd better get going. I'll see you in Before Crisis, Cloud. Until then…have a nice life, bro.
CLOUD: And you have a nice afterlife.
ZACK: (looks at AERITH, then back over at CLOUD again and smiles) Oh, you know I will.
AERITH: Take care, Cloud.
(They turn around and walk out the door into a bright white light.)
CLOUD: …Goodbye.
(ZACK and AERITH disappear. CLOUD watches them leave, and then turns to join a game of Marco Polo with his friends. On this happy note, the scene fades out.)
(The credits roll over footage of CLOUD riding his motorcycle. Once the credits stop rolling, the film's logo appears on the screen one last time. Then the words "THE END" appear in the center of the screen with the famous "Prelude" music playing on the soundtrack. Once the film has reached this point, it is impossible to return to the DVD's main menu no matter what buttons you push unless you turn off the DVD player and then turn it on again. Enjoy the special features, folks.)
THE END
Well, that's all I wrote. And I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. But just a few more quick "Fun Facts" before I go.
Fun Fact: The wolf is actually meant to symbolize Cloud's guilt surrounding the deaths of Zack and Aerith. Which is all fine and good, but I never quite understood why they chose a wolf as the symbol. So I wrote the debate sequence between Casual Gamer and the FF7 Fanboy in the hopesof presenting a possible alternate argument that isn't true but makes more sense than what the actual explanation is. I just made up all that stuff Casual Gamer said about the wolf symbolizing Cloud's personality. This particular segment stands out as pretty much the only part of the fic where the joke can't be found in what the characters say, but rather what you're meant tounderstand as a result of what they say, if that makes any sense. But honestly, I had wanted that part to have funnier dialogue in it than "you're a fucking idiot."
Fun Fact #2: Every game in the Final Fantasy series ends with a dark screen, usually with the words "THE END" written in the center, with the "Prelude" music playing on the soundtrack. It is impossible to exit this by pressing any buttons. You have to restart the machine to get back to the main menu. I just thought it would be funny if the Final Fantasy movies did this too. And while I'm on the subject, I liked this movie better than Spirits Within.
Fun Fact #3: I started this fic on May 26 and finished it on July 12. I took some time off to think of new ideas from time to time, and it turned out a lot longer than I ever thought it would, but as I said before, I enjoyed writing it.
Peace, love, and all that other wonderful stuff. I'm out.