What If – Kuno Was Right?

Author: Anime Ronin (in collaboration with Cyclone Knight and Yorath the Wolf)

Rating: M (mentions of dugs, sex and regular Kuno-whumping)

Summary: ONESHOT! A 'what if' story – what if Kuno's claims were correct? 'Vile Sorcerer Saotome' and such…

Disclaimer: Whoever owns Ranma ½ owns them – not me.

AN: Okay, I am stating now that this is Cyclone Knight's story idea, but I'm writing it because he's busy with other stories. Also stating now that this story is meant in fun – please, no flames.

(Kuno Estate)

Tatwake, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, young rising star of high school Kendo world, age seventeen, munched pensively on a plate of brownies that had the most alluring smell and flavor to them, wondering just how the gods could be so cruel to him – the vile sorcerer Saotome held both the pig-tailed goddess, who was alike to the goddess of love, Venus, and the fierce tigress of his heart, Akane Tendo, within his magical clutches, which was contemptuous. Sadly, though, even his mandate from the heavens had not been enough to set the pair free.

He growled slightly after swallowing the last of the brownies and standing – he had training to finish, and with that training he would be able to defeat the knave Saotome and would be rewarded with the sweet rewards of his goddess and his tigress…

He then yawned, a wave of drowsiness sweeping over him like a great tsunami. Okay, maybe after a nap.

(Next Day)

The open battleground that was Furinkan High's courtyard stood before him, slightly dusty in its vastness, and with a practiced eye he watched for those who would sully the honor of their families, or cross the Blue Thunder's path without first giving him notice – yes, today was the day. Today was the day that, he, Tatwake Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, would defeat the vile sorcerer Saotome and take what was rightfully his, the pure bodies of both his fierce tigress and the lovely goddess whose name he still did not know.

Suddenly, all grew still as the gates of the school creaked open, admitting the bane of his existence – Ranma Saotome, the knave, the vile sorcerer, the epitome of all that was unclean, stood there dressed in a white robe, belted at the waist with a golden sash, his hair shaven now but for a single lock of hair at his crown, and with a crown that reminded him of a coiled, golden serpent. Black surrounded the weakling's eyes, as if it were a representation of the darkness within the fool's soul, and an oily grin pulled at Saotome's lips as he motioned behind him for someone to enter.

She stood demurely in the gateway, swathed in the finest white silk, silk that clung to her body in ways that allured the mind and attracted the eye, and crowned with deep red hair that was pulled into two tails; her skin was flawless, and he presumed to be as soft as she was virgin, glowing softly through the slight dust that Saotome undoubtedly conjured to somehow sully her radiance. Most verily, his pig-tailed goddess had arrived, though she was not alone.

Clad in a blue gi and with a proud stature, Akane Tendo, the fierce tigress of his heart stalked, nay, glided through the gate, pausing only to glare in mute resistance to the grip of Saotome's magic – her every muscle stood out, tensed, ready for battle, yet it somehow could not damage the womanly beauty she shone with. Her raven hair savagely butchered to just below her ears, shining like silk, making his fingers itch to touch it – yes, his fierce warrior tigress had arrive to claim his heart and help defeat the foul villain.

Drawing his mighty blade, one that had the blessings of the heavens in order to smite evil, he took his stance, "Vile creature Saotome! Release the pig-tailed goddess and the fierce tigress Akane from your evil clutches! No more shall their purity be sullied by your mere presence!"

Saotome smirked at him as inky shadows surrounded him, "That is 'Black Sorcerer' to you, pitiful fool. Not even your pitiful mandates of heaven shall defeat me!"

With a roar, Tatwake struck with every ounce of vigor and honor he could against the 'Black Sorcerer' and his blade struck true into the breast of the man. "I smite thee!"

Saotome stumbled back and clutched his bleeding chest, "I am… defeated." With that, he collapsed to the ground,

"Oh, Tatwake!" "My love! Take me, I am yours!" His pig-tailed goddess and fierce tigress ran at him, hearts in their eyes and their womanly chests heaving… and bouncing…

(Tatwake's room)

Kodachi watched as her brother smiled happily in his sleep and clutched the pillow closer to him, the plate of sweets that she had brought up to him now forgotten next to him, a single laced treat missing. "Come to me, my loves! We shall make sweet love together…"

Kodachi turned slightly green at that thought of her brother, who was lacking in the size department, of breeding with ANYTHING but picked up the plate anyway, forcing a smile to her lips, "It works, then. Finally, Ranma-sama, you will be mine…"

Back in her room, though, Kodachi couldn't resist and took a bite of the same cookie that her brother had sampled, set it down and laid back onto her futon bed, waiting for the concoction to take effect. Soon, her cheeks flushed, her chest heaved and she grabbed her own pillow, moaning out, "Ranma-sama…"

He could have her cookies tomorrow…

THE END

AN: Sorry, just something we cooked up one night that needed to get out. What do you think? Reviews, please.