Disclaimer: You know, I'm beginning to wonder why we have to put these anyway. It's obvious I don't own the characters, and neither does anyone else but Kubo Tite.

Well anyhow. XD RenjixRukia all the way. ALL. THE. WAY.

Everyone talks about it. I hear it everywhere. Every single one of them cursed shinigami that walk the halls of Seireitei.

They're always murmuring amongst themselves and then when I come around the corner, they just shut their mouths and give me nervous glances while hurrying past. It's unnerving. I wish someone would just come out with it in my face rather than whispering behind my back. I mean, it's not like I don't know or can't hear them. I am a fukutaichou after all… But that doesn't matter much in this kind of situation, does it? All I need is Rukia's word on it, and that will be that.

"Hinamori, it's obvious that Rukia likes Ichigo. Can't you see? You're blinder than I thought."

"Wah, Shirou-kun, I can still see Abarai-kun and Kuchiki-san's old spark though! You have to agree with me that they're cute together—"

"Nah, Abarai lost her a long time ago. And don't call me that."

"Ah! Shirou-kun, shh! Abarai-kun's coming this way!"

Oh, great. Now all of the Gotei 13 is turning against me. Well, at least Hinamori still thinks I have a slight chance.

Raising my hand in greeting, I slapped on my usual grin and said, "Yo, Hinamori; Hitsugaya."

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you, Abarai."

"Whatever. So what's up?"

"Oh, we were just talking about –mmphfth! —"

"Ehh—heheheheh, don't listen to him, Abarai-kun! We were just going to the… um… no, to see the sakura trees! See you later!"

And with that, Hinamori dragged Hitsugaya away, still with her firm grip on his mouth to make sure he said nothing stupid.

I can't even talk to anyone normally anymore.

Sighing, I turned in the other direction and started to walk wherever my feet lead me – I didn't have anything to do the rest of the day anyway; I had finished all my paperwork so far (almost). Although … it was very likely that Kuchiki-taichou would come and decide to add on some more work to my steadily-growing pile. Life just sucks, don't it?

---

It was a long while later when I raised my head to take a look at my surroundings. And much to my surprise, it was an extremely familiar location.

Much too familiar.

But that wasn't the bad part; the reason why I stopped short, standing rooted to the ground with my eyes widened, was because Rukia was there.

Like she was before… ages ago.

It was so ironic that it was the same time of day, the same time of year, the same everything. The same sun glinting off her hair, the same way her eyes sparkled while looking at that flower—that same, white flower. Only this time, it was just her and me. No one else.

This wasn't supposed to happen now! Although you can't put off something that was going to happen sooner or later anyway.

Damn, nothing ever goes my way, does it?

Well, I guess that's the way of the stray dog. You're always roaming the streets alone with no one really to understand you. No one really wants you, either. Because you're just that—a stray dog.

Nothing else.

Geez, it's annoying how my future is so perfectly planned out for me. It's not a pretty future either. All I see is gray, gray, gray, and rainy days—something that I know Ichigo hates. Must mean Rukia will hate it too.

Mataku. Someone save me the agony and kill me right now.

"And why would you say that, Renji?"

Aw, detritus. Did I say that out loud? Well, what can I say? Nothing ever goes my way.

"Uh… I didn't… what?"

"You said, 'Someone save me the agony and kill me right now.' That's not very cheery, is it?"

"I… guess not."

"Any particular reason why you're acting and looking so angsty at the moment?"

"No."

She stared at me hard, and I could feel her eyes boring into my face and scanning my eyes, searching for an answer.

"It's something about Ichigo, isn't it?"

She really does know me all too well.

Not really. You're a part of it, too. "Uh… yea, I guess. How'd you know?"

"…Okay, so it's not about him. Spit it out."

"…"

Walking over, Rukia laid a hand on my arm, to which I stiffened at. She tried to catch my eye, and I knew it, so I kept my head down and turned it away from her inquisitive eyes. Those bewitching, innocently-beautiful-but-much-too-wise violet blue eyes were always one of my weaknesses.

I could almost feel Rukia's hard features come together in a frown. What I didn't expect, though, was for her other hand to shoot up and grab my chin, forcing my head to turn in her direction. I practically had no time to resist.

"Renji."

"…"

"Renji."

"…What?"

"Look at me."

"…"

"Say something, then."

"Can I leave now?"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I knew I'd said the wrong thing. It was almost like a replay of that time when I let her go so many years before, except this time, I wouldn't have minded being left alone.

Rukia's expression never changed, and she concealed her emotion very well, but I knew her just as well as she knew me. I saw the hurt deep within her eyes, and I could almost hear Zabimaru crying out as he did during bankai inside my head at my stupidity.

"Fine." Rukia let go of my arm and turned around, walking brusquely back to her sitting position by the river. I felt her slipping away… again.

No, not again, this can't happen again. Not again. I promised myself that if I ever had a second chance I'd make everything right between us. And now I went and blew it. Was I really that much of a coward?

With a sudden burst of newfound inner strength, I marched forward and flumped down beside her by the river bank, landing with a soft 'thump' on the ground.

Rukia looked at me, skeptical but slightly surprised. "I thought you were going."

"I changed my mind."

"I see." She focused her attention on the white flowers she'd gathered around her, feeling the petals and lifting one delicately to her nose, sniffing it, and putting it back down.

She sighed, and wrapped her arms around her legs in front of her, resting her chin upon her knees.

"Why don't you ever talk to me, Renji?"

I really had nothing to say to that.

"I am now, aren't I?"

"You know fully well what I mean."

"You caught me."

"Well, then?"

"It's…complicated. Hard to explain. You know I was never good at explaining things."

"But I still understood you when you did."

She had me backed into a corner now. I had to talk.

"Because."

"Because what, Renji? Because you don't think you're worthy enough to talk to me? Because I'm a noble and you aren't? Because you never treat me the same way you did before? Because you don't see me as a friend anymore? Because—"

"No!"

I was shocked that nearly all the things she was saying were pretty much… true, although I still did see Rukia as a friend. No, more than that. I always wanted to be more than that. Even when we were kids.

"Then what, Renji? Because what?"

"Because… because I didn't think it mattered. I didn't think I mattered. Not after what happened before. I… I thought you moved on, to higher and better places."

"Well, that's where you were wrong."

Rukia's voice was quiet, so quiet that I had to lean in to hear her.

Slightly taken aback, I just sat there, trying to ignore the awkward silence.

"Renji?"

"Yes?"

"Why…Why did you leave me to handle the pressure of becoming a noble alone? Why did it seem like you were trying to get… rid of me?"

"Was that… Was that what it seemed like?"

"It wasn't, then? You weren't…" She paused. "Then why did you congratulate me as if you didn't care how I felt about it?"

"I… I truly meant it for the best. I didn't mean to hurt you or make things so awkward between us. I congratulated you because I really thought it would make your life better and… and I wanted the best for you."

Rukia's eyes widened and she quickly lowered her gaze to the flower in her hand.

"I see."

Wordless, I felt stiff from the tense atmosphere. I can't stand moments like these when neither of you could really communicate nor respond.

After a long while, Rukia spoke up again, without lifting her eyes to look at me.

"Then why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you do anything? I always thought that you had something against me for not being on the same level you were."

"I… couldn't."

"Why not?"

"It was hard to regain your full trust and maintain our friendship after that. I made a mistake and I didn't know how to fix it, and it didn't seem like you ever wanted to talk to me— I thought I lost you for good. Besides… your voice always seemed so distant and sometimes cold, even. And all we said were only polite formalities. I didn't know how I should have approached you."

"I thought that that was the way you wanted it to be; I was only following what you lead me to believe."

"I—I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't fair of me to disregard you like that, without even stopping to think why you did what you did."

We both fell silent then, and gazed down at our laps at a loss of anything to say. We both weren't exactly the type of person to open up to others easily. I guess it would have been different if our friendship hadn't fallen apart.

The situation was sad, really. And we weren't making much progress, no matter how much we were opening up to each other.

"It's getting late, Rukia. We should go."

"Hmm. You go first, then. I want to stay a while longer."

"If you're sure." I stood up and brushed off the dirt from my hakama, and turned to leave, only looking back to gaze at Rukia's dark head and her petite, hunched shoulders. It was pointless. This whole conversation was pointless, because I didn't see any difference in the way we acted... at all.

Author's comment: Haha, supposed to be a one-shot, but it turned out to be… really really long, so I had to cut it off somewhere. And I was like, hey, why not a cliffhanger (sort of)? So yea.

Oh, by the way…. this fic is when EVERYTHING (yes, even Aizen) is over. OVER. Ok? 8D