The last chapter. I swear. Wasn't this supposed to be a one shot?
Nice, Firm, and Perky... part 3
Iruka was spying on Kakashi. It wasn't like he was stalking his own boyfriend, for he really had no reason to stalk what he already had. The stalking part of their relationship was mostly over. Kakashi, of course, still got a kick out of driving Iruka crazy throughout the day by making his presence just slightly known before disappearing.
No, Iruka was on another mission.
"Hey! I told you to call me if you dropped anything!" Iruka suddenly jumped out of hiding, pointing an incriminating finger at his lover.
Kakashi stared back with a long lazy look in his eyes. "Maa… Iruka-sensei… I've lost an eye… I once had my arm almost severed off… I don't think bending down with a head wound is going to effect me." he waved Iruka's squabbles off and bent over, snatching the pillow he'd dropped from the ground. "I'm fine." he gripped the couch arm as he stood back up, needing the support for his hip.
Iruka pouted the Umino Pout of Breaking. Such a technique had the ability to crack even the strongest Hatake. "Kakashi, it's not just your head." he bemoaned, motioning along the points of the jounin's injuries. "You're hip is to not bend ever right now, and your ribs are supposed to stay still, too. Your head isn't fully recovered either, and you're spacier after you stand up from bending than you are in the morning!" he defended, forcing a crutch at Kakashi's good arm.
The lazy pervert stared ahead blandly, shrugging one shoulder, "Iruka-sensei knows best." he started his gimp past Iruka, but not without a quick grab to the teacher's ass. "See? I'm still quick at least."
Iruka smacked him in the arm and lead him to the kitchen for lunch. "Hn. Pervert."
"Fast pervert." He corrected brightly.
"Hmph."
o0O0o
Kakashi was plotting. It wasn't a bad plotting, and in fact it was more of a mission, than plotting. His mission? Juicy chuunin ass. His target? Umino Iruka. His method? Undecided. This was a normal, even routine operation for the Hatake, but a new twist had been thrown into his normal custom. Injuries. Bad injuries even. His left side was near useless, and sometimes he forgot what he was doing even while he was doing it.
The one issue plagued him restlessly though. Lack of Iruka ass. He really was being depraved, even when sick! Wasn't he supposed to be treated as a king when he was sick? That's what everyone else said.
Still, Iruka declared that it was bad for Kakashi's getting well process, to partake in such excursions as the horizontal limbo. The teacher wouldn't even allow a vertical limbo. Kakashi had tried that, too.
For the time being, the injured special-nin was situated on the couch again, remote in one hand and hip straightened to allow the least amount of pain. Iruka could be heard in the kitchen cleaning restlessly in wait of Kakashi's needs.
So far he had none.
Until his mission suddenly bade him away from the tv. Yes, the need for Umino ass was dire at the moment.
Mind at a slower pace than usual, it took a few seconds for Kakashi to procure a fool proof plan. According to some people, a few seconds actually wasn't that long. They were not the great Hatake Kakashi though. Therefore they weren't always attempting to get porn in devious ways and needing that second-long-plan-making skill.
He took the remote and tossed it across the floor, no more than four feet away. The toss had first arched upwards though, allowing gravity to bring the plastic gadget down hard enough to shatter the battery pack open, spewing batteries across the floor.
"Kakashi? What was that?" Iruka questioned, almost on cue.
The jounin cocked his head upwards to speak, "Oh… I moved and the remote flew off the corner of the cushion. It broke open… I'll get it!"
"No!" Iruka came out, an angry glare in place, "If you don't get better I'm going to kill you. I hate having to baby you, so the sooner we get this over with the better." he threw a dish rag at Kakashi to hold, bending down over the scattered remains of his remote control.
"You know… if you kill me before I get better-"
"Shut up. How did this break so badly from just falling? And how did it fall four feet away from you?" He turned around and glared before Kakashi could pull the dish rag from his face and lunge/gimp into action. His plan had been foiled! Score one for Umino.
"Maa... it happened like this. I was laying here when all of a sudden this bird-"
"Oh give me a break." Iruka rolled his eyes and tossed the remote back, batteries firmly in place behind the cover. He reclaimed his cleaning rag and walked away, simply gone before an luscious buttocks could be nabbed.
"Damn."
o0O0o
Plan number two was now in action.
The couch had grown monotonous hours ago, especially when Kakashi had accidently broke the arm rest off by kicking in his sleep. Since then, the couch just wasn't as controlling of his squirminess, nor did Iruka come and check on him as frequently. Something about stupid jounins breaking furniture from having wet dreams. Kakashi didn't know what his lover was talking about and ignored the ranting all together.
Still, plan number two was looking to be more effective than plan number one. This time, contact was sure to be involved. "Irukaaaaa!"
"What?"
"I have to go to the bathroom."
A flat glare rewarded him. "Don't get any stupid ideas, Hatake."
"I have to pee! You've given me like twenty three cups of tea already!" he defended grumpily, rolling precariously towards the edge of the couch.
Iruka, seeing the intentions, quickened his step forward and caught the jounin mid tumble. "Can't you just wait for me to come pull you up? Please?" He hefted his boyfriend back onto the couch, then lifted the stiff upper half up with a grunt.
Kakashi went limp though, putting a hand on his head, "Oh... Iruka... I think I stood to fast..." he clutched to Iruka's shoulders, hanging from them like he were three.
The teacher went wide eyed and stuttered an apology, attempting to lay Kakashi back onto the couch. But the weak and helpless injured man clung, with immense strength, to Iruka's waist and hip. Even with an extra shove to thrust Kakashi back to the couch, the jounin stuck to his hip like a second pair of underwear.
Before a protest could snarl it's way from cute chuunin lips, a strangled yelp exited first. "Hand! Off! Now!"
Kakashi squeezed the pert bottom, admiring by feel the tight round buns he so dearly loved. Score one for Hatake.
"Ah, but Iruka-"
"I hope you pee your pants you perverted bastard!" He brought a hand back and hit at the groping palm on his ass. At the last second though, he felt one hand retreat from his bottom, then the stinging smack of his own hand hitting tush.
Kakashi snickered. Iruka had turned purple in point five seconds, and boy was it amusing. "Are you punishing yourself for something, sensei? Because it really is quite kinky." Score two for Hatake!
"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, you're sleeping in the bed."
Score two for Umino.
Mission complete, failure prevailing.
o0O0o
It wasn't to go without saying that Iruka Umino was a kind soul. Neither was it uncommon to hear that Iruka Umino was sometimes a scary mofo. But in general, everyone loved him for being so kind hearted and caring.
That's exactly what plagued said teacher as he tossed and turned on his little and broken couch. He grunted, sighed, growled, and snarled every once in a while.
"Stupid jounin." With a final conceding sigh, the sleepy man sat up in the dark, eyes staring ahead in annoyance at nothing. He couldn't even feel right about forcing Kakashi to sleep in the big bed all by himself. And he had the bed.
Gathering what blankets and pillows he had scrounged, Iruka towed his items back into the bedroom. Guilt was slightly eminent, but washed away in relief upon entering the bedroom.
As quietly and stealthily as possible, he slipped beneath the welcoming covers and into a world of wonderful Kakashi smells and sounds. He smiled to himself, listening to Kakashi's even breathing, then inhaling the smell that so distinctly stated Kakashi.
Much better.
"Mm... couldn't stand the thought of your poor little lover all by himself? Or does the couch hurt?"
Not so much better.
"Go to sleep."
"Only if you cuddle with me." The groggy and almost drunken voice implored seductively.
Iruka growled and reached out one blind hand, finding a shoulder, then a neck, then teeth.
"Ow! Don't bite me, I'm just trying to figure out where your sore spots are." Tugging his hand from the capturing mouth, Iruka scooted forward on the bed. Upon pressing his chest against the warmth that seemed nostalgic, he finally recognized the longing he'd had to touch his lover in better ways.
"I'm fine, you know." Kakashi murmured, a sly hand starting to travel.
Iruka smacked the hand in rebuke. "I don't care if you can bend over backwards, because I know you'd be forcing it if you got sex out of it."
Kakashi didn't take the hunt and moved forward instead. "Hm, I just love my Iruka-sensei more than anything in the world."
A long silence followed, the small chuunin finding it relatively safe to curl up against the lithe body in front of him. "Kakashi..."
"Hmmm..?" A long and indulging reply was accented with a kiss to the head.
"Do you remember... the stuff you said just before you passed out? The day you came home from the hospital?"
The white haired man tilted his head back in thought, then wagged from side to side. "No, not really. Was I on pain medication?"
"Something like that." Iruka waved it off. "But you said... you said some really... weird stuff. Like, that you called me as you fell, and that I pulled you out of the river." he murmured, sitting up on one elbow and searching for the pallid face in the dark, catching a flash of eye color.
A lightly serious air drifted over the two, but Kakashi smiled warmly. The mask gone, and the lips all promising. "When I figured out I was falling, I was thinking of you. I was so dazed and confused, blood loss and all... so I yelled out your name... called on you. Then, I came to and I was on the shore, and I could have sworn I'd smelled you just before another wave pushed me up further. It was probably the current that pulled me up, but at the time I was completely convinced you'd caught me from the fall and put me on the shore. I just wanted to be alright... I wanted to come back home to you. So I followed you. All the way to the village. I was so convinced it was you, I was running to keep up... and you came home and you laid down on the bed... so I laid down too. It was all in all a severe case of blood loss." he mused, scratching the back of his head, "But I still think that it was you who brought me home. If I hadn't wanted you so badly... I wouldn't have even tried to move, much less run all the way home." he chuckled lightly, wrapping his good arm around Iruka's waist and kissing slacked lips.
Iruka seemed to curl into the fetal position, much to Kakashi's demise, for he couldn't reach all the way around the brown teacher now.
"For me? You wanted me that badly?"
Kakashi beamed, "I love my Umino Iruka. You make me do all kinds of crazy things. But that's what love does to people right?"
Iruka smiled. "Yes. Yes it does." He leaned upwards, planting a sloppy wet kiss on the lips that had for so long waited... almost patiently.
"And since I love my Hatake Kakashi so much... I'm going to do something crazy, too."
An inquiring silver eyebrow rose.
Iruka smirked. "So what kind of porn did you want?"
Score three for Umino. Umino Iruka wins.
Iruka won because he's instigator-of-the-porn. But Kakashi wins because he gets his porn. Aha. Porn. Yaaay!
Okay, this one shot is no officially over. I swear.
Oh wait, just kidding. I had an Omake moment for the sake of wrapping up this fic all the way.
Omake!
There was something bothering Iruka. It was Kakashi.
"What do you want?" It was early. The sun was up. Someone wanted to die.
"We should have done this last night!" Kakashi thrust an Icha Icha Illistrated! into Iruka's face. "Can we do that porn thing over again, please?"
The annoyed chuunin snarled and shoved the book out of his face, "What-!"
"Genma and Raidoh gave me a get well present!" An all to excited Kakashi held up the basket. It was full of porn.
Iruka turned pink. Then purple. "We. Are. Not. Doing. That. Again." he forced between clenched teeth, glaring at the would be get-well-soon basket his 'friends' had given Kakashi. The bastards.
"No really, look at all this stuff we could have tried-!"
Iruka beat him across the head with a pillow, the jounin whimpering about head wounds. The teacher merely aimed the pillow to a taught white stomach. With a huff he then clutched the new and already tainted feather pillow to his groin, sliding out of bed. Once turned around, he held it over his rear and waddled to the shower. Kakashi bemoaned the pillow's presence, knowing full well the 'morning after' waddle was one of his favorite Umino walks (yes, he'd named all of Iruka's walking styles). The only reply he got for the pillow whine was a middle finger.
Iruka loved his pillow. Even though it was not as perfect as his last pillow, and it now smelled of Hatake spunk (they considered it a christening for the Hatake/Umino residence), it was a good pillow. Because it prevented Kakashi from getting a look at the juicy Umino ass he craved and worshipped.
Really, Iruka didn't see what was so appealing about his rear end in the first place. But as long as he had a power over Kakashi (ass power?) he was going to use it.
It's over now. I just had to include pillows somehow. That was my purpose.
THE END.