Disclaimer: FF9 isn't mine, nor is any of the copyrighted stuff I mention.
Diary of Zidane Tribal
Note: I really should be writing my actual fics. Ah well, inspiration has struck! Zidane…gets a diary! Please don't say that Gaia doesn't have the technology or stuff that I mention. It's called…PARODY people!
Warnings: Slight OOC, a little pervertedness, and language.
July Fifth
Man, today was the best day of my life. I touched Dagger's ass. She got really mad at me. It was hot. In two ways. Hell yeah.
I'm writing this in Lindblum. We just kicked the ass of a freaky Black Waltz. It knocked out Steiner. I laughed.
Earlier, when I went to this pub for lunch, I heard the song. Hips Don't Lie. Freya, this rat chick I met a long time ago…started…dancing.
Bored as hell, I danced too.
Oh baby when you talk like that,
You make a woman go mad!
So be wise, and keep on,
Reading the signs of my body.
I wish Dagger came along. I could try reading the signs of her body. So sad…
--
Quina is lucky. S/he doesn't know the difference between a man and a woman. Because s/he IS the difference!
Lucky…I WANNA BE THE DIFFERENCE!
The author says that I haven't met Quina so I can't write about her/him. I told her to piss off.
--
I hope no one reads this diary. Dagger will never date me, Steiner will kill me, and Vivi…will copy everything I say here. I don't even wanna know what SEPHIROTH will do.
--
Dagger: (Reads diary) I am never gonna date him.
Steiner: (Turns red) That monkey shall face my wrath!
Vivi: How do I read the signs of a body? (Googles it)
Sephiroth (GASP!): Kuja's brother? I must send my regards to the one I love's brother! (Find's Aerith's body and mails it.)
--
July Ninth
I. Am. So. Freaking. Pissed. I LOST THE WORLD CUP! Yeah, France lost. I listened to the radio. I don't even know where the hell France is though!
Zidane ended up headbutting some goalkeeper. Amen. That goalie deserved it. I SHOULD HAVE WON!
Man. I hate this stinkin' world. Maybe I should become emo. Nah. The author says that's plagiarizing someone else's work.
I don't what that means.
--
Manga. I finally read one. Something called…Yu-Gi-Oh! I thought it was retarded. Except for Dark Magician Girl. She was hot.
Pokemon. Haha! That's fun to say. Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon, Pokemon.
I wonder what Cloud would say if he read this. Cloud is my hommie. Dun, dun, dun.
Hyper sugar rush! Vivi had one today. When…we were in the Festival of the Hunt. I won. To the losers, I'd like to be very sportsmanlike. I'd like too. Oh well. IN YOUR FACES! Suckers!
--
Dagger: Who's this…Cloud?
Steiner: That Cloud looks like a flower, the cloud next to it looks like a monkey…ahem. (Cough)
Dark Magician: He cannot speak ill of the Dark Magician Girl! (Dark Magic Attack!)
--
July Tenth
The author says I can't write anymore. She says that until July Eleventh happens, it would be unrealistic to write a day ahead. Dammit!
My diary is getting wet. No I did NOT wet myself. Like last night. I'm in Gizamaluke's Grotto. With…Freya, Vivi…and Quina! In your face SakuraRibbons!
I'm bored. I wanna play…Final Fantasy IX! Damn. No T.V. though…
Let's play…tag!
--
We played tag. Vivi slipped on a puddle. His hat fell off.
Gasp.
It scared the hell outta us.
Quina ran half a step and then fell over because s/he was tired. Lyke, OMG!
After tag, we played, READ THE CHATSPEAK! OMG! dId u c dagg3rs hAIr?
I went insane. Cookies! I'm hungry and tired.
My tail is cut in half for some reason.
--
Note: Yep. This sounds pretty good for now. This'll be multi-chaptered. Sorta. Random? I hope it was. A little bit anyway. The updates will be random. Other fics to work on. Ideas, comments, flames, criticism, and the like are welcomed! Until next chapter!