Before I begin I must apologize for the crude humor (if you dare to call it that) but as I said previously, this chapter will be interesting. This was inspired by the same friend who encouraged Your Mom. It is rather due to the content and characters chosen for this roll but alas t'was not I but Square Enix (formerly known as Square Soft) who created this situation; I and my friend only perverted it.

Like This?

A young boy approached a book with several torn pages missing, Upon opening the book a white light consumed him. After blinking several times his vision slowly started to return and he found himself looking about the surface of the page. Below him was an image of a river with a bridge and a swing. Walking over, white light consumed him again. When everything was visible again, the boy found himself standing in front of the bridge.

On the bridge leaning over the rails and looking into the water was a teddy bear wearing a red shirt, and a small pig; Pooh Bear, and Piglet.

"Piglet, look. I think I see something down the river." Pooh said pointing with his paw. Further upstream was the donkey, Eeyore, submerged in the water. Sora couldn't help but wonder how Eeyore was alive, but then he remembered. Eeyore didn't need to breath. Just like Pooh, and Piglet; he was only a stuffed animal, stuffed with sawdust; that poor tragic burrow.

Sora couldn't help but feel a little pity for Eeyore. He was the immortal emo; in a donkey suit, which brought forth a few questions in his mind such as what kind of music did Eeyore enjoy, and what happened when Eeyore cut himself?

"Hello Eeyore! What are you doing in the river?" Pooh called out naively. Sometimes Pooh's stupidity was just a little much.

"Hello," Eeyore drawled. "I seem to have fallen and I can't get up!" Eeyore called out. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, you could get me out of the water, but if you don't want to that's okay." He said as if it were really an option, and since Pooh and Piglet didn't have to help him they decided to let Eeyore drown, and by drown methinks saturate himself with water to the point of sinking to the bottom of the stream and then rot there since the case is with all non-living fictional creatures in a book that are stuffed with fluff, and honey, or sawdust in Eeyore's case; oxygen isn't required for sustaining life.

Sora heaved a deep sigh. He was the Good Samaritan, and now he would have to jump into the river, rescue the burrow, and catch hypothermia. Neatly diving into the river, Sora's rescue ceased to be heroic the moment he found himself standing chest deep in a mucky stream.

With fourteen years of swimming in the ocean, a three foot stream proved to be nothing more than child's play, no pun intended.

After fetching Eeyore, Sora threw him onto the bank of the stream, and climbed out himself.

Sitting down and removing his shoes, Sora grimaced as muck slowly began to pour out of his shoes, along with: a pair of keys, a detention with Christopher Robins name on it, a cheap Cracker Jack ring, a waterlogged watch, and a wrapper to a McDonalds Double Cheeseburger.

"Is there any honey in there?" Pooh bent down, peeking into one of Sora's giant shoes. Sora rolled his eyes at Pooh, slowly shaking his head.

"I still can't help but feel a part of me is missing." Eeyore whined. Piglet began his nervous dance which meant two things: Either Piglet had to pee, or he had made a discovery. It was the latter.

"Oh, m-m-m-m-my! Eeyore, you're tail is missing!" Piglet exclaimed. Eeyore sighed before looking over at Sora and Pooh, who at this moment were fighting over Sora's shoes, Pooh determined to find honey in them for it was his feeding time and the nearest honey available was atleast three pages away.

"I'm sort of attached to my tail, even though I don't know why." Eeyore stated to the quarreling two, trying to sound as if it wasn't really necessary to help him, but if no one did help him he would go to his pathetic bundle of twigs he called a house and try to cut himself, with a twig mind you since he really had no house thus meaning he had no utensils to speak of to use to cut himself with; and if succeeding in cutting himself via twig, bleed moldy wet sawdust.

Pooh pulled his head out of Sora's left shoe with disappointment clearly on his face, for his venture had been for naught, and only served in his senses being assulted by the horrendous odor of boy foot funk. "Then we'll have to look for your tail." Pooh stated his appitite murdered by essence le Sora. With his face free he attempt to remove the muck but only smeared it all over his face. "Sora would you help us?" Sora reluctantly nodded taking his shoe back from Pooh knowing full well that himself be the only one capable of helping Eeyore. Pooh was capable of only finding honey, Piglet was Pooh's henchmen thus useless as well, and Eeyore was emo.

"Lost something?" Owl said flying out of nowhere.

"Yeah, Eeyore lost his tail. Again." Sora replied scratching his head. "Can you help us find it?"

"I'm sorry, my eyes aren't what they used to be, because I like to read." Sora narrowed his eyes at the lazy fact fabricating fowl who paid no mind to his dirty looks, "You see that swing up there?" Owl looked at the hill with the tree and swing. Sora nodded warily. "You're a bit too big but Pooh should fit nicely."

Sora threw Pooh over his shoulder, too impatient to allow the slow fat bear to waddle his way after Sora up the hill for everyone knows molasas moves faster than Pooh. Upon the hill, Sora plopped Pooh upon the swing.

Owl flew down again from nowhere, and sat himself upon the branch of the tree. "Here's what to do: First get ready to push."

"How?" Sora asked, not understanding why basic functions had temporarily been denied through one's own will and logic.

"Like this." Owl replied.

"Like this?" Sora retorted. "How's this?" He inquired after a few tries.

"Not bad, not bad. Here's the next step: Make sure you do that before he comes back to the bottom. Time it right and Pooh will swing higher and higher. Try it!" Owl flapped his wings for emphasis. "Push too soon and he won't go higher, push to late and he'll go too high."

"Owl?" Sora looked up at the bird.

"Hm?"

Sora shook his head, "This dialog is terrible and is borderline bestiality. How did this game get an E rating."

Owl narrowed his eyes at Sora, "The same way your mom-"

"Stop! We are so not doing the Your Mom thing."

"Very well then kill joy." Owl paused in thoughtful contemplation. "How about your face?"

Sora stopped pushing Pooh on the swing and glared at Owl, "No." He said through clenched teeth.

For more entertainment at Pooh's expense, and if you don't mind fluff and blood go to Vgcats [.] com it's a site that makes fun of video games. Look for the comic #194 (I think that's it). On that note, I ask you? Where does the honey that Pooh eats go?

Reading doesn't kill your eyesight. It's been proven, as well as reading in the dark, and watching movies in the dark. Heredity and drugs can ruin your eyesight though.

Bestiality... it's terrible. Seriously if you were to go back to the first game and read the dialog like that, it really is awful. Leave it to two teens to figure that out (duh). Well, I hope you all enjoyed this one. As of now I have no further ideas... and I'm still trying to figure out how to do the panty liners one. I noticed with my shout outs I had some review name mess ups (courtesy of fan fiction and their weird programs) and so I will try to rectify that to the best of my abilities. I am so sorry, please forgive me.

Alright, here are the name corrections (btw thanks a lot fanfiction);

some . weird . username : I am so sorry, I didn't realize fanfiction would do that.

tadako . kazahaya : again I apologize, I didn't foresee that happening when I was writing the reviews. please forgive me.

And now for shout outs:

Sadly my last chapter didn't hit it off so well, but I did get one review and so I must thank Natalie Beck for her very kind review.

I had told myself that I wasn't going to update this story if I didn't get at least one review, but I had already had this story written before I wrote the last one. Natalie Beck did encourage my getting it out faster though (I'm still hesitant to post this one because I keep making changes on it).

So back to the review credits, Natalie Beck, again thank you for your very kind review. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like fuzzy pink slippers fuzzy, and I hope you really enjoy this one.

As to the rest of you... I hope you enjoy this one as well.

~aurdox