-sigh- I really don't want to call him...
Ziggy: I'll do it!
-hands Ziggy the phone- You have a death wish, my sugar high friend.
Zuko: DAMMIT, HOW DID YOU GET MY NEW CELL NUMBER?
Ziggy: Zuko, Mo needs you to come back right away. -He was on vacation in Hawaii-
Zuko: ... You are kidding, right?
Ziggy: She's faxing the tickets as we speak. Also, she says you need to be back by chapter two or she'll put your head on a spike.
Zuko: Is it that time of the month already?
Ziggy: ... She says get your cracker self back home or you won't get another vacation till she's forty.
Chazz: -sigh- I'll be free of this soon... Mo does not own anything. Except our souls...
Ayame: -claps- WONDERFUL! And let us begin on... -flips through Zuko's diary- page 17...
(Begin Transmission)
Dear Diary,
Stupid Avatar got away AGAIN! I will DESTROY HIM! Maybe... I can get like a net or something. Like... A lead net. And then, I CAN STAB HIM! WITH MY STABBING FORK!
... Where's my stabbing fork? STABBY? WHERE ART THEE?
Eh, I'll find it eventually. Probably under my bed. Damn, I need to clean my room. There's candle wax and wads of paper EVERYWHERE!
... Hey, here's my stabbing fork! It was in my other pants! YAY!
Well, I'm off. Going to go make a net!
XOXO,
Zuko
0
Dear Diary,
Uncle got mad at me for melting all the doorknobs on the ship. IT WAS FOR THE NET, DAMMIT! But, I think he's really just mad because I threw his stupid lotus tile over a waterfall.
I bought him a new set of tiles. Because I'm such a good nephew.
Today, I met a girl. I think she's the Avatar's wench or something. He's totally tapping that ass... Hell, I know that he's twelve! Twelve year olds can get it on! MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT!
Of course, it has come to my attention that many more people believe that I should bed the Water Tribe wench.
Um, ew.
First of all, I am of the Fire Nation. I am sooooo much better than her. She doesn't even deserve to marry THE DIRT I WALK UPON!
Second, she's the Avatar's wench. She lives in the Brothel of Avatar, not the Brothel of Zuko.
And defiantly not the Brothel of that little Water Tribe Boy. You people make me sick.
Hm, I wonder if Zhao has a girlfriend... He must have kids or something. I mean, he's like forty. Why haven't I ever asked? Damn, we've been bitter enemies for years now, and all I know is that his favorite color is green and that he loves Water Tribe women.
OH SNAP! I bet he married the Water Tribe wench! SCANDAL!
Maybe Uncle will tell me...
Luv,
Zuko, HIGH AND MIGHTY RULER OF THE WORLD!
0
Dear Dairy... I mean Diary... I MEAN FRED,
It turns out Zhao has a wife and three kids. Lame.
You know what else is lame? My name. For now on, I am SUKEKIYO! I AM...
CATMAN!111one
Wuv,
CATMAN!111one
0
Dear Fred,
Uncle refuses to call me CATMAN!111one. Something about copyright infringement. DAMMIT UNCLE, DON'T YOU KNOW THE RULE? Don't use words that contain more than two syllables around me. Duh.
I luv me. I'm so hot, all the fangirls love me! Even with this horrible scar. CHARACTER DEPTH, DAMMIT!
... I need a hug. WHY DIDN'T YOU HUG ME, DADDY? CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME LIKE YOU LOVED ALL THOSE STRANGE WOMEN THAT YOU BROUGHT HOME AFTER MOMMY WENT TO THE STORE? DID SHE GET ME FISHSTICKS, DADDY? NOT THOSE BAD STORE BRAND ONES, THE ONES WITH THE FISHERMAN ON THE BOX? AND THE POPTARTS? AND THE BANANA SOAP? WHY DON'T YOU BUY ME PRETTY THINGS? AZULA GOT PRETTY THINGS! I WANT A PRETTY RED DRESS FOR THE BALL TOO!
... I need to go take my happy pills...
-sigh-,
Zuko the Unloved
0
Dear Fred,
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa can you find me in the night?
Papa are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
Looking at the skies I seem to see
A million eyes which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday
Has waved goodbye
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker;
The wind is so much colder;
The world I see is so much bigger
Now that I'm alone.
Papa, please forgive me.
Try to understand me;
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?
Can you hear me praying,
Anything I'm saying
Even though the night is filled with voices?
I remember everything you taught me
Every book I've ever read...
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller;
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright...
Papa, how I love you...
Papa, how I need you.
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me good night...
... Hm, this tea Uncle gave me did taste a little funny...
Lo...
0
Dear Fred,
So, Uncle decided to reveal my dark past to the crew.
He also told a fisherman.
A saleswoman.
Everyone at the port.
And this weird bald guy who kept muttering "This will make me rich!"
Hm... I wonder what the Avatar's up to?
Hugs and kisses,
Zuko a.k.a CATMAN!111one
0
Dear Fred,
THAT SON OF A PROSTITUTE ZHAO CAPTURED THE FREAKING AVATAR!
Hells naw! Now I have to go KUNG FU JITSU NARUTO just to get MY MAN BACK!
... Tee hee, I called the Avatar my man. Tee hee.
Anyways, I SO kicked some ass back there. And I rescued the Avatar. Then he rescued me! For that, I am slightly grateful.
But then he was all like "OMFG BESTEST BUDDIES!", and I was all like "UH, NO! YOU DIE NOW!" And then he jumped away like a wittle monkey.
But, I am SO SICK of where I put my Fire Nation tapestry! Soooo ugly. I turn my back to it! SEE, I'M TURNING MY BACK!
I wuv uuuu,
Zuzu