Title: Breathless
Genre: Drama
Rating: PG
It was easy to hide in the city. The small suburbs were to foggy, small towns too hard to be inconspicuous and alone in the country was too much for her. Her heart had always been with the people, but that was during the war against evil; it was too hard, now, for her to interact and be social. She supposed that it could have been a blessing, that she hardly had emotion anymore, but that would be too much hope. It was hard for her, to move back to Tokyo, after what had happened, ten years ago. At least the coffee was better than in New York.
Cramped at a small table, Usagi set her messenger bag on her lap, and crouched over the worn wooden tabletop. Crumpled sheets of paper cracked and laughed as she smoothed them out, and carefully pulled a pen from her pocket. She wrote several verses down, frantically scribbling as though her life depended on it. It really wouldn't have mattered if her life had been taken away. The scales of fate had been altered, so she had no obligation to become close to Mamoru anymore. She would have no child, so what did it matter?
The war with Chaos was over. Finally, peace had been achieved. Usagi's breathing was labored as she panted, and she struggled to lift herself. She closed her eyes, slightly smiling. How foolish she had been then, when Usagi though back now. How her head had been clouded by a bubble of utopia, and how she had so wittingly let Mamoru go. Usagi had taken him to her apartment, and surrendered herself to him. She had so ignorantly believed that nothing could change their fate. That changed in one night.
Usagi smiled as the so soft fabric sighed over her skin. The creamy dress cut off at her knees and hugged her body tightly. Silver whispered across her collarbone and gleamed in her hair. Her eyes, sparkling sapphires, as intense and deep as a typhoon, yet light and airy as a feather, peered out of a perfect angelic face. Ruby red lips flamed in contrast to the ivory skin and lusciously parted in a teasing smile. She was perfect, the night was perfect, everything was perfect when she was with Mamoru. Every night, the nightmares plagued her, but with Mamoru, she could lose them, lose herself, and forget for a while.
Usagi pulled a coat on, though the summer night was cool. Though Usagi was always calm with Mamoru, a weird apprehension tingled through her body, her nerves humming as though she was in battle. Usagi didn't bother to knock as Usagi pushed through Mamoru's apartment door, expecting something to leap out at her. Nothing did; Usagi relaxed. She smiled; she could sense a trace of candle in the air. She could trust Mamoru to be romantic. She smiled even wider; she could expect that Mamoru would hide, and she would have to find him. Tonight would be special; she could feel it.
Usagi traced her way through the living room, and ventured to the closed bedroom door. Nothing. Usagi pushed the door open.
Mamoru was there. With Rei. Usagi ran, tore of her heels, and ran, never looking back, heading straight to her apartment, shoved her money in her pocket, and ran to the airport, bought a ticket to New York City, and never thought twice, never called any other of the other senshi, just acted.
Usagi had long since stopped trying to look nice. Her hair, chopped to her shoulders, was dirty and straggly. She wore a spaghetti-strap shirt, covered by a long trench coat. She wore baggy cargo pants. It didn't matter, though; Usagi still looked beautiful.
Usagi's face had changed. Her eyes, her eyes were intense, deep, daring anyone to look too long. Her face was no longer creased humor, and her face had narrowed. She was a perfect war goddess, perfect for anyone who was brave enough to try to capture her. Anyone who was brave could try to drown himself in her eyes, but they would always wash over and suffocate any threats that might dare to brush her pride.
Usagi sat and ordered a cappuccino. The coffee was better than in New York, but couldn't compare to Seattle. Of course, Seattle had Starbucks, and this was just a small chain. Still.
The door tinkled as a group entered. She hated those crowds that were her age, the ones whose entire microcosm consisted of fashion and social status. It was sickening. Three couples entered.
The leader, it seemed, was a pretty girl. No doubt, she was beautiful. She also dressed simply, in a crisp white shirt, loose dark blue jeans, and black boots, but her face contradicted her attire. Her face was creamy, almost white, and her eyes were bright blue. Her lips were rose pink, her eyebrows arched neatly, her nose delicate. Her coal-black hair fell in loose ringlets part way down her back, ending at all different lengths, but not sloppy. Usagi caught her breath; it was him.
No, it wasn't him, but it looked like him. He was seemingly flawless, he had perfect messy dark brown hair. He wore a simple black sweater and khaki pants, but they suited him well. His eyes, they were light and black and empty and clear and pure. He was beautiful.
Usagi found painful memories coming back. She caught herself daydreaming:
They were in café, with the other couples. She was wearing maybe a cute sweater set that they had bought shopping together in a posh, overpriced boutique. She would always insist that it made her look fat, but he always smiled at her and gently corrected her.
They would stand at the counter and he would order for both of them. He would order for himself a plain cup of coffee, but he would buy her a French Vanilla cappuccino, even though it cost $6.00, just because he knew how much she loved them. She would lean over and gently kiss him, and he would gently kiss her back. There was no tongue; that would be tacky in café. It wasn't even a kiss, something much more delicate than that, a touching of lips that showed how much they loved each other, and he would look into her eyes, and she would smile, and he would say…
A scream broke Usagi's fantasy. She looked up and found that she had poured her cappuccino on the girlfriend. Usagi had just gone up to get a stirrer, but Usagi found that she got herself into more trouble than she bargained for.
"Excuse me?" The girlfriend sneered, the look twisting her face until it wasn't so much pretty anymore.
"What?" Usagi muttered.
"Aren't you going to apologize?" The girlfriend spat out the words.
Usagi had had enough. "Fine." She handed the girlfriend a ten-dollar bill. "Buy yourself a new shirt. Oh wait. It has to be an overpriced article of clothing that you could buy for $5 at Wal-Mart. Here. Have a couple more." Usagi shoved a few more bills into the girlfriend's hand, and trudged out the door. She missed the boyfriend's look of amazement and anger as she headed out the door. He gasped silently as the others tittered over the girlfriend and went to get napkins; could that be her?
Usagi ran to the park. She thought what had happened. She reviewed the faces in her mind. Horrified, she realized it had been…Rei. Rei and Mamoru. And Minako and Makoto. She sighed, rubbed her temples, and ignored the thoughts that tried to invade her memory.
Usagi slipped into her old apartment. Her once time home was covered in cobwebs; the place was a mess. She dropped her bag, grabbed cleaning supplies, and started to clean. The doorbell rang. Muttering angrily, she yanked the door. It was him.
"Usako?" he whispered.
"Usako is dead, Chiba-san." Usagi's tone was icy, as she formally addressed Mamoru. "You killed her ten years ago."
"I killed her." He looked at her with disbelief. "And the peace I worked so hard to achieve, I still deny it, I still have blood on my hands."
"The blood of a broken heart."
"Usagi, please," he said, "Please don't be like that. I know, I was wrong, I was stupid, I blew it."
"Yes, you did. Chiba-san, I'll give you ten seconds to give me a good reason why I should not shove the door in your face. Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…"
"I love you."
"I said a good reason, Chiba-san." She slammed the door.
Rain lightly feathered down, tracing patterns down the window. Usagi continued to clean. When she got to the windows, she was that Mamoru was still standing outside. She looked away. "Mamo-chan, how can you do this to me?" Usagi didn't cry. She washed the other window. Eventually, Usagi ran out of bleach, and was forced to go to the store. She had to pass Mamoru to get there.
Usagi walked down the steps slowly went down to the ground floor, walked on the sidewalk. She stopped by Mamoru, traced his cheek, and looked at him, in the eyes. "Mamo-chan, you have Rei. Don't do this. You lost me, you can't loose Rei too. Say goodbye."
Mamoru looked at her. He smiled, wavering slightly. "Usako, Aishiteru. We are always connected, we are the moon and the earth. One day, In another life, we will meet again."
Usagi continued. She saw a club. She went in; the night was young; she could dance.
AN: Tell me, this is twisted, ne? Review, please! I don't care about flames, just use proper technique; there is nothing so sad a as flame that is not done properly. Have a fun summer and get used to my twisted-ness. Ja ne ~ Feather