Spur of the moment idea triggered by a review response I gave to Ashen Rose... though I've forgotten what I've said to elicit the need to write this oneshot...
Brainbroke. Ho hum.
Disclaimer: Don't own "Naruto". If I did... we'd see a lot more ninja smut. The title is ridiculous, but bear with it. It serves a purpose, of sorts.
Purple Sunglasses
Sasuke was tired of running away.
He had finally managed to escape the nefarious clutches of Sakura, Ino, and the rest of his fangirls and came away with only a few minor scrapes and scratches.
He came across a clearing where Shino, Kiba and Hinata were training. Sasuke lay low as he observed the stoic leader of Team Kurenai.
'I don't get it,' he thought to himself. 'The girls are all over me, and yet they don't lay a FINGER on him. How does he do it?'
Secretly, the Uchiha Avenger harbored a bit of admiration for the Aburame heir.
One, he was a talented and intelligent shinobi.
Two, he never buckled under pressure.
Three, he had that deep, authoritative voice that reminded him of his otou-san's.
Four, Shino wasn't a bad-looking guy. Not that Sasuke was checking him out or anything.
Sasuke was not into guys.
Fifthly, the sheer volume Shino was able to achieve with his 'fro wowed him to no end. He himself only had hair that resembled a waterfowl's backside.
And lastly, he was a bit envious of his sense of style... Sasuke silently wondered how he'd look in a pair of shades. 'Nothing marginally short of AWESOME,' he told himself.
(There are other reasons why Shino is so kick-ass, but the authoress would like to keep this story short and simple.)
'I need to know how he does it.' And with that last thought lingering in his mind, he walked into the clearing to talk to Shino.
Team 8 paused in their actions the moment the angstiest member of Team 7 came into view. They all wondered what he was doing there in the first place.
Hinata tugged on Kiba's jacket sleeve wondering what was going on as the Sharingan wielder approached their teammate.
Sasuke stopped in front of Shino and began to open his mouth to speak. And that's when he found his answer- two of Shino's kikkai bugs had crawled up their master's arm and disappeared into a hole behind his ear.
Sasuke stared at the person standing in front of him for a moment, smirked, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"..." said Shino.
Kiba barked, giving his own interpretation of the scene he had just witnessed. "HAH! Sasuke's in love with Bug Boy!" Akamaru yipped in agreement. Shino scowled, tightening his fist.
Hinata frowned. "Shino-kun..."
The following day, Sakura and Ino spotted Sasuke's fan-crested backside in the distance and raced after him.
"SASUKE-KUUUUUUUN!" they shouted in unison. As Sasuke turned around, the girls faltered in their steps and used their ninja abilities to steer clear of their crush's way. There was a creepy, crawly millipede that had scuttled across the bridge of his perfectly sculpted nose, over his lips, and finally under the collar of his shirt.
The love rivals bristled in fear.
"EEEEE! SASUKE'S YUCKY!" they screeched, running back into town to carry this information back to the "We Love Sasuke" fan club and forever disband.
Sasuke smirked. For the entire week, girls were too afraid to approach him so long as he carried bugs with him at all times. It had also been said that Sasuke harbored feelings for the Aburame heir, a rumor that Kiba had spread (that had yet to reach the Uchiha's ears. Shino had later beaten his teammate to a bloody pulp once his father caught wind of the gossip and brought it up over dinner).
Late one evening, two hours after Sasuke had fallen asleep, there was a somewhat persistent knock at the door. Grumbling incoherently about solicitors and their inappropriate hours, Sasuke whipped the door open only to receive two powerful blows to the eyes.
"S-SHINO-KUN'S NOT GAY!" yelped a voice that he thought sounded like Hyuuga Hinata's.
Gingerly applying a raw steak across his eyes and mentally spewing profanities about the Hyuuga heiress (who packed one helluva punch and wasn't as weak as he thought she was), Sasuke finally made it back to his bed but found difficulty falling asleep.
Six sleepless hours later, he trudged into the bathroom to assess the damage done to his face.
Sasuke decided that he did NOT look good in sunglasses.
The oneshots keep coming... sorry that you have to read them!
Hopefully you've heard the quip, "You want a pair of purple sunglasses?" I offer them for free, yet I never get any takers...