Disclaimer: I do not anything related to Final Fantasy, not the characters, not the places, nothing. Heck, I don't even own the kitten's name, my cousin had a kitten called Vanilla. Yeah, but I own this story...so...I'm still a loser.

A/N: This fic is NOT yaoi, because I don't do that. However, if Vincent and Reno were to land into some uncomfortable circumstances...that's up to reviewers. I'm still not making it yaoi, though.

Vincent Valentine sat in the television room, reading a newspaper. As he guiltily flipped to the comics section, the sound of manic squealing came to his ears. He sighed. Obviously Tifa and Yuffie had found something new to obsess about, or they were plotting something sinister, bad enough to make the male section of AVALANCHE screech like little schoolgirls. On the other hand, they might just stay out of his way, letting him have a peaceful morning.

'Vincent! Vincent! Look what Tifa has!'

He sighed. So much for the peaceful morning.

Tifa and Yuffie bounded in, Tifa holding a large cardboard box. Vincent eyed the box dubiously.

'Vincent, there you are!' Tifa said happily. Look at this!'

'Isn't it cool?' Yuffie chirped.

Vincent looked for a long time. 'It's a box,' he said finally.

The girls groaned. 'It's what's in the box that's cool!' Yuffie said. 'Guess what it is!'

'Something really cute!' Tifa put in.

'And soft!'

'And lovable!'

'And fun!'

'If you tell me it's Cloud, I shall gag,' Vincent said dryly, earning himself two death-glares and outraged squeals.

'It's a cat, stupid!' Tifa told him, holding the box open in front of him. 'Or more precisely, a kitten.'

There was, indeed, a kitten lying motionless in the box. Its eyes were closed, and Vincent privately thought that it must be dead after all the jumping around Tifa had been doing. As he thought that, the kitten suddenly awoke, revealing eyes of deep-chocolate brown.

'It's so beautiful!' Tifa exclaimed. 'You know what, I'm going to call it Vanilla.'

'Aw, that's such a cute name!' Yuffie cried. 'And aren't you the cutest, most adorablest thing ever Vanilla! Yes you are, yes you are! Isn't Vanilla the most adorablest kitten ever, Vincent?'

'Yes, very cute,' he replied, picking up the paper again.

'I'm glad you think so, Vincent,' Tifa said slyly. 'Because you're going to be taking care of Vanilla.'

Vincent jumped out of his chair. 'What!'

'Yuffie and I need to go to the mall, we're going to get some stuff for Vanilla, and some other things as well. They won't allow Vanilla in, so somebody has to take care of Vanilla.'

'Very well, but why do I have to be the victim?'

'Cloud's gone boozing with Cid, Barret and Marlene are in Kalm, Red's back home at Cosmo Canyon, Reeve is busy at work and Aerith is dead. So you have to do it,' Yuffie said joyfully, heading towards the door.

Tifa started giving Vincent instructions. 'Remember, give Vanilla some milk after about an hour, don't let her go outside because she's too young, play with her so she doesn't get bored, but don't scare her and pet her occasionally so she feels loved, alright? If there's any problems...you just better hope there aren't any problems.'

So saying, the two women went off, leaving Vincent looking down doubtfully at the little kitten.

Vanilla gave him a little mew and tentatively rubbed against his ankles. She purred slightly, breaking a small smile from Vincent.

'I don't suppose you're going to be too much of a hassle, are you?'

The kitten, meanwhile, made its way around his legs, and stared at the ragged edges of his cape in fascination. It batted with its paw, missing it, then tried again.

This time Vincent gave a real smile. The kitten really was the 'most adorablest' creature he'd ever seen.

'Let's make this a game, shall we Vanilla?' he asked softly.

Vanilla purred, and Vincent took that as a yes. He twitched the edge of his cape upwards, and Vanilla jumped up to it, barely missing it. He let it down again, and the kitten tried again, but he twitched it up just in time. Vanilla began to mew playfully, trying to catch his cape, while Vincent always pulled it upwards just in time.

'You're improving,' he told the kitten as he pulled his cape away.

And he wasn't kidding, because the very next second Vanilla grabbed onto his cape and ran halfway up.

Vincent span around, but the little thing was on his back, claws embedded in his cape. He reached back to try and reach out at it, but Vanilla deftly evaded his hand and clawed her way to Vincent's head, hanging on to the back of his bandana. Vincent bowed his head down and tried to grab her, effectively brushing her off his head.

The kitten clawed his hand and hung onto it, jumping off onto his stomach and rushing down his leg. Vincnet twisted to grab it, got his legs entangled in his cape, and fell onto his face in a very undignified manner.

For a few seconds, he lay there, stunned. He, Vincent Valentine, was lying on the floor on his face. Because he had gotten tangled in his cape. Because of that little cat. Wait, the cat.

He got up quickly, and groaned at the sight. Vanilla was lying on her side, motionless with eyes closed. Now he'd done it. He'd killed Tifa's kitten.

Panicking, Vincent stepped uncertainly around the room, trying to think. This wasn't something he could deal with alone. He needed help.

His eyes strayed to the phone. He could call someone to help him, the only options being Cloud and Cid. There was a slight catch. Vincent didn't know their PHS number. Well, it sounded gay to say 'Hey Cloud, can I have your number?' so he'd never asked. He'd just have to hope Tifa had it written somewhere.

Sure enough, next to the phone was a scrap of paper with a number scribbled on it. Praying it was Cloud's, Vincent dialled the number. After a few rings, someone finally answered.

'Hello?' The voice was familiar, but not Cloud's. It was...

'Reno, is that you?'

'Well if you dial my number and I pick it up, who'd you think I am, Santa Claus?'

'I didn't know this was your number, I just found it scribbled on a piece of paper.'

'Ain't that nice, you don't have anything better to do than go around checking people's numbers. Man, Valentine, some people have busy lives.'

'Well that couldn't include, you, Reno since I'm not sure you even know what the word 'busy' means.'

'Haha, I'm cracking up But I'm sure you didn't call to entertain me, so what do you want?'

'I...Reno, I need your help.'

Vincent heard Reno's laugh quite clearly, eventhough the red-head tried to stifle it.

'You need my help? What'd you do, injure someone? Steal something? Committed murder?'

'No, I killed Tifa's kitten.'

There was a sharp gasp. 'You did WHAT! What kind of monster are you, dude!'

'Look Reno, I feel bad about i already, and I really need help! Tifa will kill me if she finds out, and I don't know what to do!'

'Okay, okay, calm down! I'm coming over, I'll see what I can do.'

'I thought you were busy?' Vincent couldn't resist.

'Well, if you don't want help-'

'Alright, alright, just hurry up Reno!'

Vincent hung up and waited for Reno's arrival. He made his way over to the middle of the room and stopped. Vanilla wasn't there. Why wasn't Vanilla there? Vanilla had to be there!

Vincent quickly went into the adjoining kitchen and looked around.

'Vanilla, where are you?'

As if in reply, high-pitched mewing came to his ears. Turning, Vincent saw Vanilla crawl out form under a table. She looked a little ruffled up, but there didn't seem to be anything particularly wrong with her. Vincent let out a very un-Vincentlike cry of relief and scooped the cat into his arms. 'You little rascal, you had me worried! Don't you dare pull anything else like that!'

Vanilla purred softly, then began mewing again. Vincent set her down.

'Are you hungry Vanilla? Don't worry, I'll get you something.'

He turned to the fridge and looked in. There didn't seem to be any milk bottles, but there was a white carton with 'Special Milk' written on it. Deciding that would do, he poured some in a bowl and placed it in front of Vanilla.

Vanilla began lapping it up and Vincent watched on happily. Suddenly, the door slammed open and Reno barged in.

'Alright, first we take the body and bury it in the garden. Then you go to a nearby shop and buy her another cat while I keep her distracted with my charm-'

'Reno, it'sd alright. The kitten is alive and well. I was just a little flurried.'

Reno glared at Vincent. 'You brought me here for nothing! Man, you're jumpier than a girl!' He looked down at Vanilla, who was staring at him. Suddenly, Vanilla gave a little hiccup.

'Uh, Valentine, what'd you give it?' Reno asked as Vanilla made her way to the television tipsily.

Vincent showed him the carton.

Reno looked at it for a long time. 'Valentine, that's not just milk. That's part milk and part brandy. I don't think Cid Highwind drinks so much tea just because.'

Vincent stared. 'You mean...Vanilla is drunk?'

'Oh yeah.'

From the other room there came the sound of the t.v. crashing to floor, followed by ripping sounds.

A/N: So there goes the first chapter. Poor Vincent. Let's see what Reno can do to help him, shall we? But before that happens, you'll have to review. Simple, no?