Author's note: This has been a baby of mine for quite a while. It's a B/L future fic. It's pretty canon based up until what we know from the show but then it's totally my own imagination run wild. There have been a lot of people who helped me with this. They talked to me when this story was still untold and just forming in my head. They urged me on, the inspired me with their fangirl ways. A lot of these people are on the B/L thread on Writer's 911. You know who you guys are. You make me laugh and you make me love this couple even more and all your crazyness really inspired me to write more or even get started. Thank you all.
Thank you to Ella who talked to me on msn about this for hours and made figure out where to go.
Thank you for Sarah for just being crazy Sarah. You gush with me when I need it and I LURVE the way your mind works. Tehe!
Thank you Cari for starting the "Adopt an Author" thing. If you hadn't done that I wouldn't have been taken under the wings of the awesome Tej.
Thank you Tej. This really couldn't have worked without your help and support. You always listened to my rants and made me see where I could do better and you told me I didn't suck lol. We are on the same page about fic and that's awesome and you have this way about you when you make me realize my mistakes on my own and you urge me to go further and really expand and grow. This is to you.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. Or any of the characters that you know and love. I'd love to but I don't.
Flashbacks are in Italics. Oh and you might be confused and shocked at some points. But that's totally intentional.
If you could let me know what you think, good and bad, constructive criticism is always appreciated. Reviews are love.
Original
Sin
A story by Jo
"The doctrine of original sin claims that all men sinned in Adam; but whether they did or whether it is merely a fact that all men sin does not basically affect the problem of suffering."
Walter Kaufmann
"An original something, dear maid, you would wish me to write; but how shall I begin? For I'm sure I have not original in me, Excepting Original Sin"
Thomas Campbell
1. The Things That Never Were
Tree Hill, North Carolina. September 2020
"Lucas." Karen called her son softly. Although she had been better the last week, now she was in bed again. She was just so tired all the time. It broke Lucas' heart to see her like this. So fragile.
All his life Karen Roe had been a strong woman. Never one to back down. Even after Keith's death, she had picked herself up again.
He sighed heavily. That day had changed all of their lives. It had separated some, like his parents, like him and Brooke, and then it had brought people closer. Like him and Peyton.
One thing however, had remained constant in his life: His mother.
In her son's eyes she had always been invincible, which made it even harder to watch her fade away.
His back was facing her and he kept solemnly staring out of the window.
"Lucas, you have to make a decision."
He did not move. "I made my decision a long time ago. I married Peyton."
"I didn't mean that. I mean you got to make up your mind about your life." He turned around, his face a mask of anger and hurt.
"What is this? First Peyton and now you? What do you want from me? I stood in front of all these people and I swore to love her and to honor our family. And I meant it. I've done it! I've kept my freaking promise all those years, haven't I?"
With effort she sat up in the bed. The way her raven colored hair stuck to her forehead from lying in bed too long tore at his heart. He felt a reflex to lean in and brush those strands away, like one would do for a child.
She reached for his hand and he flinched at the touch. Her fingers were cold but Lucas found the grip oddly strong and comforting; even though her health was deteriorating, there was still some life in Karen Roe.
"And I'm proud of you for that Lucas. I'm proud of you for being a good father to Ellie and being there for Peyton and loving them both. For being the man Keith taught you to be." She swallowed and took a deep breath, as if getting out what she wanted to say was taking effort. "But maybe you promised her something you couldn't keep…"
The music started to play and Brooke took a deep breath, smoothed the skirt of her long, elegant gown and started to walk down the aisle. The small church had been tastefully decorated and now every single pair of eyes was rested on the strikingly beautiful young woman making her way down the pews.
"Hold your head up high," was what Karen had told her. And she did.
There was one pair of eyes though. One pair of eyes she had sworn to avoid at all cost and it was the exact pair of eyes she felt herself falling into. He stood in the front, clad in a black tux and looked heartbreakingly handsome.
It was like the wedding Brooke Davis had dreamed of since she had been a little girl. The wedding she and Peyton had fantasized in those years where everything had been simple and innocent. The years before love had come to get them and torn them apart.
It was all there. Down to ridiculous details like the myriad of little white freesias against the dark wood of the benches and the old and out of tune organ playing the traditional wedding march. (She had always hated roses and Brooke was all for tradition. At least at when it came to weddings.)
And up in the front, Mr. Perfect stood waiting for his bride.
She realized he was staring at her and he knew she knew it too.
For a second it seemed all like a dream. Everything fell into slow motion, the noise drowned, and it was as if they were the only two people in the world.
Two souls aching to be one.
Brooke thought that maybe, if she just kept staring into his eyes, just as long as she could lose herself in them, everything else would go disappear.
But that thought was childish. And happiness was a deception.
Although she had promised herself not to play 'what if' anymore she couldn't help but think how it would be if he really was waiting for her. And she wondered if her face even remotely reflected how she felt inside.
Like dying.
He could not help but stare. Maybe it was uncalled for, maybe it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. She was staggeringly beautiful. For a moment, he imagined how it would be if it was her, walking up the aisle to say yes to him. To say yes to the life they had talked about sharing one day. He could still recall the moment when he had told her he would love her forever, never intending to let her go - he had meant his every word.
Now that seemed like a lifetime away. So much had happened since then.
The voice in his head, the small voice that he had been trying to ignore for weeks, kept getting louder. It was almost mocking him. "Lucas Scott," it said, "you're a fraud."
"I love Peyton."
He did. He had made a vow to her that day and Lucas Scott was a guy that stuck to his promises.
"I know you do. But what about Brooke?" He averted her eyes. "You're still running."
She brought her hand to his cheek forcing him to look into her steely gaze. His face was drained but it was as if her eyes were even brighter than usual, making a last effort to outlast themselves. They shone out of their hollows like a dying star -multiplying its light, turning into a supernova as some sort of last bravado before fading eventually.
"I know you never wanted to be like Dan. But if you are living a lie, Lucas… and I'm not saying you are, but if, Lucas, then you're more like him than you think." He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. Her voice was lacking its former strength, the speech impaired by her last attack, but her tone still carried motherly authority. "No, listen to me. I know you want to do right by her and Ellie. But you can only do that if you do right by yourself."
The words hung in the room like a verdict. When he spoke again his voice was barely a whisper.
"Mom, don't leave me."
"Lucas…"
Abruptly, he bent down and threw himself into her arms, hugging her frail figure tightly.
"Mom, don't leave me." He swallowed. "If you go then there's no one who knows the real me anymore." His voice broke and he was choking on the words.
"I don't even know who I am or what I want. It feels like that person has long gone. Like… like I'm just a shadow of who I used to be."
She hugged him tight and stroked his hair. Gently, soothingly.
"My love, my boy."
"I'm so scared, Mom."
"I know Lucas." She dropped a kiss on his head. "I know." Her touch still felt as reassuring as it had all those years ago. "Just go tell her."
Karen looked down at her son.
"You know what do to, Lucas. You'll do the right thing. You always have."
Her eyes, rimmed with dark circles were familiar pools of trust and love. She believed in him. She always had.
It was time.
I know, this was short. But this is by no means a short story. So watch out for more to come!