It Was Only Forever, Not Long at All
By Priya-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers. Only the plot and original characters are mine.
Deceptions. My life is full of them. But as I sit here and observe, I can't help feeling that the biggest one was pulled on me. I hated dragons, I really did, and I still do. So full of righteousness and self-importance. Their way is the only way. They never did understand that the purer you proclaim yourself to be, the closer to dark you actually are. I hated them so much…
"Xellos! Stop daydreaming and hold Havran!"
A squirming bundle of flesh is deposited into my arms. A boy. My son. I opened my eyes to see him with my own sight. Already he looks so much like me; his face, his hair, but his eyes. His eyes are his mother's, indescribable shades of blue mixed into one. His eyes are the windows to his soul. My son, I have son with his mother's eyes. His mother, Filia, a golden dragon, a race I despise so much. How ironic.
She thinks I love her. Not long ago she preached at me how mazoku couldn't love. Now she is married to me and running after our hyperactive daughter. My cat-like gaze follows her lithe form as she tried to keep our daughter out of trouble. She actually thinks I love her. Another deception. I hate gold dragons. Her in particular. Just where does she get the right to call me namagomi? At least I don't act better than I am. And just where did she get the right to make my heart thump loudly in my chest? A look, a sway of her hips can set it off. Just where did she get the right?
"You're mine now!" she cries as she catches our daughter. She looks up and our eyes lock. My heart begins to thump loudly in an empty chest. I hate her. I really do. She is weak and a golden dragon. I enjoyed killing them. She walks towards me, Catrina cradled in her arms, and kneels at me feet.
"Xellos?"
I hate her. I hate her sun-gold hair falling over her shoulders; I hate her full lips mouthing words I don't hear; and her eyes, I hate her eyes. My son's eyes. I hate her, I hate her. But sometimes I almost like her. When she gets a mischievous glint in her eyes or a particularly naughty turn of attitude I could like her. But I hate her. I hate the way she brightens the room she walks into, I hate the way she says my name, I hate the way I can never hurt her, and most of all… most of all I hate how it all feels so right. I am mazoku. Mazoku can't love. Mazoku don't love.
She sighs and leans her head against my thigh. My daughter blinks up at me owlishly. She has my eyes. Fine mazoku eyes; taking everything, giving nothing. She has her mother's personality. Pity it ruins the effect. My lips twist wryly. Another deception. Unintentional but effective nonetheless. How ironic.
And sometimes… sometimes when I sit here and observe my family, my home, a warmth floods me and I think that the biggest deception has been pulled on me. After all, when I married Filia it was only forever, not long at all.
Man, have I disappeared off the face of the planet or what? There's a follow-up to this fic in the works, from Filia's POV.
Please R&R! I'd love to know what you think of my work after a 4 year hiatus.