I have far too many crazy friends who like crack... Can I plead permanent insanity, and an addiction to crack?

Clockwork is doing it again... Someone stop her!

For juliagulia1017, mI.ShOE and my darlingest roommate.

Ladies, gentlemen and children; young, young at heart, and terminally immature, clockwork starlight is cackling evilly as she gives you:

Over The Rainbow

The best way to take one's mind off things, when one is an evil genius (emphasis on evil) is to go out and kill people.

Lots of people.

Orochimaru was still slightly traumatized by his ever so real, and ever so strange other worldly experience. Ninjutsu was one thing… but crossing worlds using only… shoes? That was just creepy.

Anyway, he had a village to destroy.

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Tsunade sighed. Orochimaru had decided to attack Konohagakure no Sato. Again. Honestly, did the man have nothing better to do?

She summoned all the available ninja and gave her orders. The Rookie Nine, and the Jounin would meet the attack head on. ANBU and everyone else would disperse through the village and take care of trouble as it came. Really, this was becoming almost routine. Orochimaru had to get himself laid at some point; there wasn't a whole lot of point taking out his frustrations on Konoha.

If Orochimaru had suddenly remembered just how strong Konoha was, he didn't bother acting on that knowledge. The Konoha nin seemed to have been paying attention, and automatically targeted those they knew to be the greatest threats. His ninjas were being decimated. The only thing he could think of doing was to summon Manda. He could only hope that the snake would allow himself to be Summoned and stay this time. He bit his thumb…

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Ayame talked too much. That was really the only conclusion Yuki could come to at this moment. It wasn't like anyone in Shigure's house cared that he'd made some perverted old man happy with his… dress. No one except Tohru… and Yuki was fairly certain it was only because she had no clue what Ayame was babbling about. He finally lost it when Ayame eagerly suggested that Tohru try some of the items that happy customer didn't want.

He and Kyo both sent Ayame straight through several walls, into the only bathroom that had not been touched since New Year's.

It still made them all slightly uncomfortable, even after they finally plucked up enough courage to remove Hanajima's… decorations. Shigure whimpered slightly as his house suffered yet another hole. He peeked into the bathroom as the dust cleared. Instead of finding Ayame sprawled on the floor, there was no sign of his loquacious friend. He'd investigate later, he had a hunch Mii-chan was going to show up today. In fact…

"SENSEI!"

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Manda wasn't going to come. Orochimaru could sense it. Something was wrong, he hadn't done something right… he tried to stop the jutsu, but the chakra wouldn't stop flowing out of him. Finally, he managed to separate himself from whatever was draining his chakra… it felt other-worldly. This could be better than a temperamental snake. There was a black-ish glow on the side of the Hokage's building. It roiled in dark purple and black waves, that looked almost like lace. Something or someone was coming through; the Konoha nin tensed; and Orochimaru waited with anticipation. The something hurtled out of the void and landed with a crash and a rather feminine noise of surprise and pain.

"Oh my… I didn't know Yuki was this strong." The figure stood and looked around. Orochimaru felt the terror welling up and falling back down in the pit of his stomach like lead. The Konoha nin focused on the new comer with slightly more apprehension, seeing the reaction of the summoner. The man flipped his long hair over his shoulder and saw Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin didn't have enough time to react.

Ayame launched himself at the only familiar face.

"It's you! I do hope you're enjoying the dress; it did look so very good on you. Mine-chan hasn't worn anything but gingham ever since. We were so glad to help you…"

"Did that guy just say "dress"?" Orochimaru realized with growing dread that it was the loud mouthed Kyuubi vessel that had spoken. Tsunade's face was unreadable. Jiraiya… was fighting back laughter. The other Konoha ninja were looking at him with the one thing he couldn't stand. Amusement.

Orochimaru disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving his ranks in confusion. Ayame didn't notice his 'pillar of support' disappearing, he was far too caught up in describing, in great detail, his next Great Masterpiece. The Konoha ninja just stared.

"What the hell was that?"

For those who were quirky enough to enjoy There's No Place Like Home... happy July.