When dinner was over, Katie and Matthew gathered up the twins and decided to go home. Sam sat on the couch with Adrian napping beside her as she read a book, and Derek cleaned up the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Addison went up to bed early, and the house was quiet.

"Ant?" Meredith said, coming out of the kitchen. Sam looked up from her book and smiled. "If you wanted to take a walk tonight or anything, there are some paths outside, the pond is out there. It's beautiful in the summer time. Feel free to go out and explore any time you'd like. I can keep an eye on Adrian if you need me to."

"Thank you, Meredith." She replied as she smiled. "You know what… I think I just might go for a walk… if you don't mind watching him." She said, looking down at Adrian.

"Nope, he'll probably sleep most of the time anyway, and if he gets upset when he wakes, I'll take him up to Addison."

"Thank you, Meredith." Sam smiled as she stood up and set her book on the coffee table. She bent down and kissed Adrian on his temple, he snuggled into the cushion a little more. "Sweet dreams, sweetie." She whispered as she turned and left the house.

She walked to the end of the porch, and noticed a car at the end of the gravel drive, just out of sight. She walked towards it and immediately recognized it. "He came back…" She whispered to herself as she walked towards his car. She got to the car and looked around, seeing a small path to the left, she decided to walk down towards the water, see where it would lead her. As she walked slowly down the path, she noticed a lone figure sitting on a rock on the bank of the pond, knees up, with his arms circled around them, she approached him cautiously.

"Jack?" She said softly, as she slowly approached him.

Jack buried his head in his knees and didn't look up. "You make it very hard to ignore you… do you realize that?" Jack replied.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Sam asked as she came up beside him.

"Because you're not supposed to be here." Jack said into his legs.

"I was invited here, Jack." Sam said, looking over at him. She paused for a moment and watched him. "If you're ignoring me, then why did you come back?" She asked.

"I came back to get my dog."

"Ok, you got your dog, why are you still here?"

"Because I belong here. You don't. You don't belong here." Jack said angrily.

"Please look at me, Jack."

"No. You don't deserve to look at me." He said defiantly.

"I'm not telling you to look at me, I'm asking you to look at me. Please?" She said, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" He said angrily, looking up at her. She could tell that he had been crying, his face was wet with tears, his voice was laced with frustration.

"I got you to look at me." She smiled a little.

"Stop it! Don't be a smart ass, ok? Just leave me alone!" Jack said angrily.

"I'm not going to leave. I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I didn't know you were here, I didn't know that I was going to see you. Just talk to me, please?"

Jack stood up and looked angrily into her eyes. "What makes you think that I owe you anything? What makes you think that you have any right to ask anything of me? I owe you nothing!"

"I'm not saying that you owe me anything, Jack. I just want you to talk to me. I've missed you."

"You've missed me? You have missed me?" He exclaimed angrily. "What the hell does that mean? You were the one that forced me to leave! You pushed me out onto the street and you told me to get lost! You have no right to talk to me! You have no right to think about me, and you have no right to miss me!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Why should I stop yelling at you, huh? Sam? Or should I say ant… what the hell kind of name is that? You couldn't even tell me your real name?" Jack said angrily.

"Ant is a nickname, you idiot! Samantha! Don't you hear it? Jesus Christ, Jack."

"You know something? I don't care… I don't care about your name, I don't care about you being here, I don't care about you! I never cared! Just leave me alone!"

"You cared, Jack. You loved me. I think that's why you're so upset right now."

"I don't care what you think, Sam. I don't love you now. I don't love you now, and I want you to leave. I don't even like you. In fact… yeah, that's right… I'm pretty sure that I hate you!" He said, approaching her. He got very close to her, staring her directly into her eyes. They stared into eachother's eyes for what felt like forever before she finally spoke again.

"He has your eyes, Jack. He has your smile. He makes the same little noises when he sleeps that you make. He has your heart, he is so smart. I want you to get to know him, Jack."

"I don't want to get to know him. He's not mine, I didn't ask for him, I don't want him." Jack said, looking away.

Sam reached up and grabbed his face, pulling his chin, so that his eyes were looking into her own again. "Do you want me to slap you? Do you really, seriously want me to punch you in the face right now? Because I know you don't mean that. I know you were sideswiped by this. I know you're angry and I know you're pissed off at me for making you leave, but don't you dare take it out on Adrian, don't you dare!" Sam said angrily as she pushed her face into his. "He didn't ask for this, he doesn't deserve this."

"I dare you to slap me, Sam. I really do, because one slap isn't going to even compare to the pain that you've already put me through. Do you realize how long it took for me to get over you? Do you even know how many hours, I had to spend awake, thinking about what you might be doing, where you might be, mentally planning to go back to Boston to find you? Do you have any idea, how long it took me to just stop thinking about you, about your eyes, your lips, about your hair, about the way that your skin feels, the little accent in your voice. I loved you, I did, but now I don't. Now I despise you. I don't think there is any one person that I hate more than I hate you. It makes me sick just to see you stand there!" He said, his face contorting to a dirty look as he stared into her eyes.

She held his stare, refusing to cry, to become upset. In a calm voice she replied. "You don't hate me." Her voice was confident and unwavering, which only proceeded to make him angrier, she could see it in his eyes, and she smiled just a little. "You don't hate me, and you hate yourself right now for saying that." She replied.

"No! I hate you… I really, truly hate you!" Jack said, his voice becoming deeper as he became more frustrated.

"You hate me?"

"Yes! I came home, because you broke my heart, and I continued my relationship with Charlotte. I love Charlotte, Sam. I do. There was a time when I was willing to leave her for you, but she and I are strong now, we're a team. I bought an engagement ring, and I have every intention on asking her to marry me, and you being here, and bringing Adrian fucks everything up. It just really fucks everything up! I hate you!" Jack said angrily.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, I'm not asking you to kiss me, I'm not asking you to touch me, talk to me, or even look at me Jack. This isn't for me. I'm not talking to you for me, I'm talking to you for Adrian. He is absolutely, your son, whether you like it or not. You don't have to take any responsibility for him, give me child support, or anything like that. I can support him. I just wanted to tell you the truth, and I want you to make the decision of whether you want him to know that truth. I think that he needs to know that you're his father, that you care about him, that you love him... that you'd be with him if you could be. I didn't have a daddy like you did, or like Ani and Michael have. I had no one except my mother, and now that I have an opportunity to show him who his daddy is, give you an opportunity to see who your son is, I want to do it. I need to do it, Jack. It's not for me, its for Adrian. It's for your son, Jack. It's for your little boy." She said as she moved closer to him, her eyes just inches from his, staring into the light blue portals to his soul.

He stared into her eyes, he could see the woman that he had fallen in love with in there, the woman that had shown him so much strength. She hadn't become weak and vulnerable, if anything, she had become stronger and it scared him. "I can't." He whispered. "I just… I can't do this… for you."

Sam's eyes narrowed in anger as she stared at him for several more moments. "You can't do this…?"

"No, I don't think that I can." Jack said, his voice nervous.

"Give me your wallet, Jack."

"What?" He asked, taking a step back in surprise.

"Your wallet, give it to me."

"I'm not giving you my wallet, why do you want my wallet?"

"Give it to me, or I'll get it from you myself." She said angrily.

"I'm not… Stop!" He said as she grabbed him around the waist suddenly and reached into his back pocket, grabbing his wallet. "Give that back to me! Sam!" Jack said as he reached for his wallet in her hand.

She took a step back and began to flip through the contents. "No, not until I find what I'm looking for." She says as she avoided his hands.

"Give that back to me!" He yelled as he reached around her to get it back.

"Here it is!" She exclaimed pulling something out with a laugh as he grabbed back the wallet. She took a step back and faced him, out of his reach. "You see this, Jack? This piece of paper? This picture…. Do you remember that? Do you?" She asked, holding up a worn piece of paper between her fingers.

"Yes. Give that back to me, its mine!" He said, trying to grab it from her.

"No. It's not yours, Jack. Engaged men do not have pictures of other women in their wallets. Maybe this will help you with your healing, Jack." She said as she held up the photo booth picture up to rip it in half.

"No! Give that to me now!" He said angrily as he reached for it.

"Why do you have this in your wallet, Jack?" She asked, holding it out to him, showing him the picture.

"I forgot to take it out!"

"You forgot to take it out? Jack… its been over four years… and you haven't changed wallets? You haven't bought a new one? You don't deserve to have this picture in your possession, Jackson." She said as she waved the picture around in the air. "You hate the woman in that picture. You despise her; you never want to see her again. That's what you said. Why would you keep a picture of someone that you so obviously hate, in your wallet Jack? Is it torture? Is it guilt? Here! Here is something for your wallet!" She said, grabbing her own wallet from her pocket. He watched desperately as she rummaged through her own wallet. "Here! This is a picture of your son!" She said as she pulled a picture from her wallet and shoved it in his face. "You should have this in your wallet. If you're going to carry around pictures of people you hate, you should carry this one." She said as she shoved the picture at him.

"Stop! Stop, Just stop!" He yelled pushing her hand out of his face.

"No! I will not stop! I have felt guilty for long enough! I am done, Jack! I am done, and I hate you back!" She exclaimed as she threw both pictures to the ground and ran toward the house.

"Sam! Sam!" He called, but her retreating form told him that he officially lost her forever. When she didn't turn around to even look at him, he sighed heavily and picked up the two pictures from the ground. He looked back toward the house, and then toward the lake. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again, and looked at the pictures carefully. One was the picture of he and Sam in the photo booth, the one where had held her face and looked longingly into her eyes. They both looked so young, happy, and dare he say in love. He smiled at the memory as he pulled the other picture to the top. It was a picture of Adrian sitting in his crib with a book in his hands. He had a big, beautiful smile on his face, and Jack chuckled when he realized the book was upside down. He wiped a stray tear from his eye, and pulled his wallet out, and carefully placed both pictures inside. He called to Samirah, and together, they slowly walked the trail back to the car.

Sam ran towards the house as fast as she could, she heard him call her name, but she didn't have the strength to turn and face him again. She ran to the porch and breathlessly she opened the door and ran inside. She swung the door closed and cringed as it slammed shut. She closed her eyes, praying that she didn't wake Adrian, and when she opened her eyes back up, the couch was empty.

The kitchen door opened and Meredith walked into the room. "Ant? Are you alright?" She asked, seeing the young woman's tear streaked face and confused expression.

"Uh… yeah… yeah…sorry… um…" She said, swiping at her face quickly as she tried to hide her obvious distress.

"Mama? Are you crying?" Adrian asked as he walked into the living room behind Meredith holding a plate in his hands.

"Um…"

"No sweetie, Mama's not crying, she'll be ok. She is just having a long night. I think she's tired." Meredith responded as she looked down at Adrian and back up at Sam, who gave her a relieved expression. "Ok Nana's helper, let's go finish up." Meredith said, opening the kitchen door.

"Oh… Ok… mama, come help!" He called as he turned to walk into the kitchen.

Meredith gave Sam a concerned look, and Sam nodded her head to let her know that she would be coming in a second. Meredith nodded back and went into the kitchen.

Sam took a deep breath and sighed as she started to walk to the kitchen. She wiped the tears from her cheek onto her sleeve and she entered the room.

"Mama! Are you gonna help?" Adrian asked as he handed Meredith a bowl from the dishwasher. "I'm Nana's little helper!" He said proudly as he turned back to the dishwasher.

"You are? Wow, I'm so proud of you." Sam said as she crouched down to his level. "Can mommy get a hug, little boy?"

"Sure!" He said as he handed the bowl in his hand to Meredith and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck. "I love you bunches mommy!" Adrian said happily.

"Mommy loves you bunches too." She smiled.

"I'm a good helper!"

"I heard!" Sam giggled.

"His daddy was always a good helper too." Meredith said softly with a smile as she took another bowl from the dishwasher.

Sam's eyes widened as she lifted Adrian from the floor and looked at Meredith. She was speechless as she tried to find the words to say.

"It's alright, Ant." Meredith said softly.

"But… how…"

"Ant, first of all, he's a beautiful little boy, and he looks just like Jackson did at that age. And the second thing… and it's a little more startling, is that I can spot a pair of Shepherd eyes from a mile away." Meredith said, touching Adrian's cheek and smiling affectionately. "You're my helper, right Adrian?"

"Yes I am, Nana!" Adrian said, holding his arms out to Meredith. Meredith enveloped him in a hug and put her arms out for Sam.

Sam stepped forward into Meredith's hug. Meredith squeezed her tightly, with Adrian in the middle, allowing a couple of tears to fall. "Meredith… I'm sorry… I didn't even know that…" Sam stuttered as she cried into Meredith's shoulder.

"It's ok, Sam." Meredith said as she held her tightly. "It's ok… we'll talk about all of this. You don't have to do this alone…" She whispered as she let her cry.

Jack drove home with Samirah, and walked into his apartment quietly. He looked around and saw Charlotte's backpack on the floor. He frowned a little as he walked toward the bedroom. When he opened the door, he had expected to see her in there, all he found was an empty room. He sighed heavily, turned the lights off and walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and sat staring into the darkness of the room as a million thoughts raced through his head. He put his head back and sighed heavily as he heard the door open and close.

He heard Charlotte sigh heavily as she reached for the light switch.

"Rough night at the library?" Jack asked.

"Jack!" Charlotte said, startled to hear his voice coming from the darkness. She flipped the switch on and looked at him sitting on the couch. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

"Why did you say you were going to the library if you weren't?" Jack said, nodding towards her bag.

"I went… I …came back here earlier and changed. Some friends and I went out for drinks after… what's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"You are not fine, you're acting like you have a stick up your ass."

"You know what Charlotte, just stop it, ok? I just asked you a question. You don't have to get so defensive."

"I'm not getting defensive, you look like you're in a bad mood, I'm not even going to bother talking to you right now."

"Char, stop… please? I was just wondering where you were? I had to have dinner alone, I felt like you deserted me. I told you a week ago that Addison was coming to town."

"I know… I'm sorry." Charlotte said as she sat down. "Are we still going out tomorrow afternoon, with Addison's daughter?"

Jack looked at Charlotte for a few seconds, trying to push thoughts of Sam aside. "Um… yeah… I guess." He said.

"Don't forget, the bachelorette party is tomorrow night too, are you spending the evening with the guys? They're supposed to be watching the kids, you know… since us girls did it for Matthew's bachelor party last week." Charlotte smiled. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'll probably be over there, if you're not going to be around. I'm fine." He said softly, his eyes filled with guilt and sadness.

"Ok. 'fine', I'm getting ready for bed. Are you coming?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just watch tv for a while, go for a drive… I'll probably just end up falling asleep out here on the couch." Jack replied.

"Do you want some company?" Charlotte asked, putting her hand on his head and leaning over the couch.

"Nah… I think I'll be alright alone for now. Thanks though." He said, swatting at her hand.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah… I'm just thoughtful, that's all." He said sadly. "I love you." He whispered, turning his head, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you too." She said looking at him for a moment before standing up, and walking towards the bedroom.

Meredith held Sam for a while, letting her cry into her shoulder as she held her tightly.

"Now mommy is crying!" Adrian said, trying to wiggle out between the two women. "Mommy, please don't cry." Adrian said as he turned and put his arms around Sam's neck, the two women separating from the hug, so that she could take him into her arms.

"I'm ok, baby… I'm ok…" Sam said as she rubbed Adrian's back and just looked into Meredith's eyes for a few more seconds, trying to find the words to express her feelings. Meredith placed the bowl that she was holding on the counter and closed the dishwasher.

"Come on, let's go sit down and talk." Meredith said as she reached out for Sam's hand and led her into the living room to the couch.

She sat down on the couch, and Sam sat beside her, still holding tightly to Adrian. "What did he say to you outside, Sam?"

"You knew that he was…"

Meredith pulled her close and rubbed her shoulder as Adrian snuggled down into her lap. "I'm just judging by the way that you came in here that either you were being chased by a bear, or you talked to Jack. Did he hurt you?" Meredith asked, pushing a strand of hair from Sam's eyes.

"He… he's not happy. He's angry with me. He said that he hates me. He hates us." Sam said, trying to catch her breath, trying not to start crying again.

"Don't cry sweetheart. It's ok…" Meredith soothed.

"He said that he didn't want anything to do with… us…" Sam sighed. "I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry. I want him to know Adrian. I just want him to understand that I want what is best for Adrian." She cried.

"Don't cry so much, mommy. I love you, I love you, mommy." Adrian said, trying to stand up on the couch, hugging her from the other side.

"I can talk to him, sweetheart. It's alright. don't worry." Meredith said as she tried her best to get Sam to relax. She still didn't have the full story, but she remembered that phone call when Jack had run away. She was certain that she knew how all of this had happened, and now was not the time to press for answers.

She held Sam for a long time, letting her cry and talk as much as she needed, trying at the same time to soothe Adrian's worries. He couldn't understand what was making her so upset. He held onto her as she cried, until he eventually fell asleep in her arms, as Meredith held Sam and calmed her cries until they were just holding one another.

After several minutes of silence, Meredith finally spoke. "Ant?"

"Huh…" Sam whispered.

"You love him, don't you?" She asked.

"I don't know him, Meredith." Sam whispered.

"Do you want to know him?" Meredith asked.

"I don't think that he wants me to know him."

"I'm not asking what he wants, I don't care what he wants. I'm asking you what you want. Do you want to know him?" Meredith whispered.

"Yes." Sam whispered.

"You get your little snuggle bug up into bed, and come back downstairs, and I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know about Jackson." Meredith whispered, leaning back to look in Sam's eyes. "I'll start by telling you, that he's one of the most stubborn people that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing." Meredith whispered with a smile.

"Thank you, Meredith." Sam said, with a sad smile, as she positioned Adrian in her arms to lift him.

"Just one second." Meredith said as she looked down at her newest grandchild. She bent down and kissed his forehead, lightly rubbing his cheek with her thumb. "Welcome to the family, little one." She whispered. She looked back up at Sam and smiled. "That goes for you too." She whispered.

Meredith waited for Sam to return downstairs, as she sat on the floor between couch and the coffee table with a small blanket draped over her lap flipping through an old photo album. She laughed at some of the pictures and waited patiently for Sam to come down. After a few minutes, Sam came downstairs ready for bed, wearing an oversized men's shirt and some pajama pants, her hair was up in a ponytail. Meredith noticed that she looked much more comfortable and more relaxed as she descended the stairs.

"Hey." Sam said softly as she walked close to Meredith.

"Sit." She smiled, patting the spot next to her on the floor. "I have some things to show you." She said softly.

Sam sat beside Meredith on the floor, and folded her legs underneath her. She smiled as Meredith offered her part of the blanket, and she moved closer as Meredith lifted the photo album into both of their laps. "I want you to look at this photo album, flip through it, and tell me if there is anything that seems out of place." Meredith said, looking over at Sam.

"Out of place?"

"Just look at it… tell me what you see." She said handing the book over to Sam.

Sam turned the pages, looking at the pictures carefully. "Well, this is obviously Katie's album, because otherwise, I don't think it's very nice to put a pink cap on a newborn boy." Sam laughed.

"Right, it's Katie's." Meredith laughed. "Look a little harder."

"Ok, um… there is Katie's baptism, and um… there's Katie's first birthday party, Katie learning to walk, Katie's first hair cut… there is you and Katie on the Ferris wheel, Katie's second birthday, and Katie making faces at… hey… Where's Derek?" Sam asked, looking up at Meredith.

"You're very perceptive." Meredith said, taking one half of the book. "You and I have a lot more in common than you think."

"Why isn't Derek in any of the pictures?" Sam asked, flipping through another couple of pages.

"Derek… left… before Katie was born."

"He left you? He left you when you were pregnant?" Sam asked, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Not exactly. He left… everything… and everyone. He didn't just leave me. He left your mother, he left his family. He just felt that it was best for him and for those around him. He needed to do some searching; he needed to find out who he was, and what he loved before he could share his love with anyone again. He didn't know that I was pregnant, Sam. He wouldn't have left if he had known, that's the kind of guy that Derek is." Meredith said softly.

"My mother never talks about Derek. I think it's too painful for her. She doesn't have pictures or anything of him, she never has. I think she likes that you are friends, but I think it hurts her a little bit inside." Sam said quietly.

"Your mother is a very strong woman. She's smart, and sophisticated, and I am very happy that she and I have been able to become friends." Meredith smiled.

"I'm glad too." Sam smiled. "So Derek didn't know about Katie? How did he react when he found out about her?" Sam asked, flipping through a couple more pages in the book.

"I was able to raise Katie with the help of some friends after she was born. She was four years old when Derek showed up. When he met her, he was smitten. He couldn't stop talking about her, to her, around her. He was like a little boy with a new puppy. She was a daddy's girl before she had even met him, and together, they were the most stubborn team of Shepherd's that you would ever witness." Meredith laughed.

"What about Jack? He said that he and Derek were always fighting, always at odds." Sam asked, tilting her head in question.

"That is because Jackson is the perfect combination of Derek and me. Derek and Jack can get along like best friends, or they can fight like worst enemies. Derek sees a lot of himself in Jack, and when Jack does something that Derek dislikes, he takes it personally. Their personalities clash and there is a big fight. Jackson is also strong like me. He can face most any situation head-on even if it takes a little time, because he also has my penchant for avoidance. If a situation arises, that seems like its something that is too big for him to handle, Jackson will take steps backwards, before stepping forward to face the problem or situation." Meredith explained.

"Like when he ran away?" Sam asked, trying not to look up.

"Yes, like when he ran away. But I'll tell you something, Ant. I don't know what happened to that boy. What you said to him on that trip, or how you treated him, but you did something right. When he came home that day, puppy in tow, he had the brightest smile I have ever seen on his face. Since that trip, he has been respectable, non confrontational, he never swears, he was a completely different person." Meredith said with a smile.

"He brought a puppy home?"

"Yes, Samirah. She had run out in front of him while he was driving home. He rescued her, and he's had her ever since. She's been a part of the family ever since. You know he calls her Sammy, she's his best friend… well, next to Charlotte of course." Meredith smiled.

"Charlotte." Sam said sadly. "I'm nervous about meeting her tomorrow, Meredith. I mean… I don't want to ruin the relationship between her and Jack. I didn't know I was coming here to this, I don't want to be a home wrecker." Sam said, with a worried expression.

"No one is going to see it that way, Ant. Charlotte is a very nice girl, and you two will get along great. Jack may be a little nervous, but don't let him get you down. You just be yourself. That's what really matters, you know that. Jackson is going to have to tell her about Adrian, it's his responsibility and he needs to step up and face the truth, no matter how confusing it is for him." Meredith said with a sigh.

"I just don't want to hurt him anymore." Sam said sadly.

"I know, and I think that is what I like about you, Ant. You knew that sending him home was going to be hard, but you still did it. I never got to thank you that day, for calling me." Meredith said, looking into the girl's eyes.

"It was nothing, you deserved to know where he was, that he was alive and well." Sam said shyly.

"Well, thank you." Meredith whispered. "It really meant the world to me, Ant. You saved me from a lot of grief. Thank you." She said as she put her arm around Sam and gave her a hug. Sam hugged back for a few seconds as Meredith sighed. She grabbed another photo album from beside her and cleared her throat. "Ok! Are you ready for some embarrassing Jacks time?" She laughed as she opened the photo album.

"I thought you'd never ask." Sam giggled as they looked through the photo album together.

11pm-

Jack sat on the couch for another hour, staring at the blank television screen when Charlotte came out of the bedroom ready for bed. "Are you going to bed now, Jacks?" Jack was so out of it, that he didn't hear her question. "Jack!"

"Huh? What? Sorry…" He mumbled as he looked over at her.

"You look like a zombie, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, stop asking, please?" Jack replied.

"Come on, let's go to bed." Charlotte said as she reached for his hand.

"I'm not going to bed right now, Char." Jack grumbled.

"Why not?"

"Because I feel like crap, ok? I don't feel like going to bed. I don't feel like lying in that bed, staring at the ceiling, and not sleeping."

"Jack, you haven't slept in the bed next to me for almost three weeks now." Charlotte said, sitting on the couch, putting her feet across him.

"I know, I have just been thoughtful, ok? I have a lot on my mind."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No, its nothing."

"Fine! Don't tell me!" Charlotte said, shoving her foot forward into his leg.

"Don't kick me, ok? Just let me be alone for a little while."

"Is this because I didn't go to dinner tonight? Is that why you're angry with me?"

"I'm not angry with you for that, I'm angry at you for kicking me." Jack scowled at her.

"Come on, it wasn't hard. You're being miserable, and you're not talking to me, why won't you talk to me?"

"Because its not something to talk about, its something to think about, and you're hurting me, and you don't even care."

"I care! I want you to talk to me!"

"You only want to talk to me because you think that I'm angry at you, I'm not angry at you, I just want you to leave me alone for a little while so that I can think!"

"You can think with me here with me here, I'll be quiet." Charlotte said as she lay with her legs across his lap.

"Fine." He said as he leaned his head back. Charlotte was quiet for the most part, but after a few minutes, he could feel her feet wiggling to an invisible beat across his legs.

"Please stop it, Char."

"This is boring."

"I thought you were going to sleep." He asked, looking over at her.

"I am, in a little while."

"After you annoy me to no end?"

"Uh huh." She said as she kicked him again.

"That's it! Ok, I'm sick of this. I am going for a drive. I'll see you later! Jesus Christ, Charlotte… all I wanted was a little quiet, I'm sick of the pain, alright? I'm just sick of it!" Jack said as he stood up and slammed open the door. "I'll see you later." He said angrily as he ushered Samirah out the door, and slammed it behind him.

12:00am-

After Meredith and Sam were through with the photo albums, they walked up the stairs together, and Meredith gave Sam a hug as they each retreated into the different bedrooms. Sam snuggled into bed beside Adrian, while Meredith quietly changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt as she tried to climb into bed.

"Derek…" She whispered to the man sprawled over the entire bed, snoring like a freight train. "Derek!" She whispered loudly. "Pain in the…" Meredith grumbled as she reached down and licked his ear.

"Meredith! That's disgusting!" Derek exclaimed as he rolled over quickly and covered his ear with one hand as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into bed on top of him with the other. "You're gross!" He said quietly when he realized that he had been loud and they had guests.

"You were on my side, you bed hog." Meredith said as she kissed his chin.

"Did you talk to her?" Derek asked as he circled his arms around her and kissed her nose.

"Yes. I talked to her." Meredith said softly. "Are you going to let me go?"

"Are you going to tell me what you guys talked about?" Derek asked, holding her tighter.

"I can't breathe, you big monkey!" Meredith said as she tried to peel his arms from around her.

"Stop wiggling!" He laughed as he held her tighter. "If you couldn't breathe, then you wouldn't be able to complain so much!" Derek said, holding her with one arm as he tickled her with his other hand.

"No! No tickling! We have guests in the house, stop!"

"The kids never complained." Derek laughed as he continued to tickle her.

"That's because the kids were too traumatized…. Derek!" Meredith squeaked loudly, Derek covered her mouth and laughed.

"Shh… we have guests in the house!" He whispered loudly as he let go of her and let her roll onto her side of the bed.

"You're a jerk!" She whispered loudly.

"I know." Derek said proudly, laughing at her irritated expression. "Are you going to tell me?"

"Yes. That's all I'm going to say." She said.

"Seriously?" Derek asked, sitting up on his elbow.

"Seriously."

"Ant?"

"And Jack."

"Seriously?"

"Derek."

"Fine… ok… so…" Derek says, working things around in his head. "You're telling me that Adrian is…"

"Your newest grandchild."

"Seri…?"

"Seriously, Derek."

"Wow." Derek whispered.

"Charlotte doesn't know, so let's just keep this low key, ok?"

"Wow."

"Derek? Did you hear me?"

"Just…wow…. Seriously?"

"I'm so going to kill you!" Meredith exclaimed as she rolled on top of him.

"Oof! Ow… you can't do that to a man with three grandchildren!"

"Why not?" Meredith asks giggling as she kissed.

"I don't know, you just shouldn't do it to me, and I have three grandchildren." Derek chuckled.

"Oh shut up." Meredith laughed as she started to kiss him.

12:00 AM-

Jack drove through the dark streets of Seattle, thoughts pounding his mind as he remembered that night in the hotel room, the night that he thought only two people knew about.

"Jack." Sam said softly, touching the side of his face. "How did you get the scratches on your face?" She asked softly, tracing the cuts along his nose.

"That's coming up, don't worry." He said as he reached up and took her hand. "Your hands are soft." He smiled, a tear in his eye. She smiled in return as he continued his story. "The helicopter came and picked us up. We loaded as much gear as we could onto the helicopter before it left and they flew us to the hospital that my parents work at. I sat in that helicopter and I think I was in shock. I just kept staring at Matthew. He was lifeless, his face pale, the paramedics doing as much as they could while I sat there helpless and relatively unscathed. Aside from the cut on my hand from releasing the ropes, I was fine. I had some wind burn on my face…"

"Hence the rosy cheeks." Sam smiled, touching his cheek.

"Yes, yes, the rosy cheeks." Jack laughed. "But I was ok. I knew that I was going to be in trouble, there was no doubt about that, but I had no idea what the reactions would be."

"So the helicopter landed at the hospital."

"Yep. We landed and they let me off first. I went inside and the lights were so bright. When they adjusted, I could see my father standing there. There was a look of panic in his eyes like I had never seen before. His eyes were just wild with panic."

"Are they the same color as yours?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know, I'm just trying to picture what he would look like, besides, you just have the most beautiful blue eyes that I have ever seen…go on…" she sighed.

Jack looked at her for a few seconds as she giggled. "Well, you have the cutest dimple on your cheek right there… " he kissed her cheek. "but back to the story….Ok… so.. yeah, I saw my father and then I took off for the nearest garbage can that I could find. I was in awful shape. I was just sick with worry and guilt and, seriously… I don't know how I even got off the helicopter. I just… I wanted to die." Jack said sadly.

"I'm glad that you didn't die." Sam whispered.

"Yeah…" Jack said sadly.

"So what happened next?" Sam inquired, squeezing his arm with her hand as it was draped across his chest.

"My father happened next." Jack replied, his eyes darkening with the memory.

"Tell me what happened, Bubbles." Sam whispered as she cuddled to him.

"It sounds cute when you call me that. Usually when people call me that, its when they're trying to make me feel small and degraded. I don't know. I guess I'm just… I don't know…Thank you for making me feel comfortable."

"I'm here for you." Sam said softly.

"Ok… so… I was in the exam room. My father came in to ask me if I was alright. I told him that I was fine, and I confessed that I had taken Matthew mountain climbing. Me and my stupid honesty strike again." Jack said angrily. "I told him the truth, and he slapped me clear across the room." Jack said, his voice choking up at the feeling of his father's hand against his face. "My father has never hit me so hard in my entire life."

"And he shouldn't have done it then." Sam mumbled, her eyes narrowing at the thought.

"He slapped me and came after me, kicking me over and over. I mean, I had already beaten myself up pretty badly, but he really kicked the crap out of me. He swung me around the room and my mother came in. She accidentally hit me with the door when she came in. Her eyes were so hurt, so concerned. I love my mother for everything she has ever done for me, and I will tell you quite honestly that at that moment, I think I hated my father for making her hurt like that. I had pushed my father and we said some really angry things. I stood in front of my mother, I didn't want him to hurt her on accident. She has gotten in the middle of our fights on more than one occasion and gotten hurt." Jack explained.

"Your mother is a sweet woman." Sam smiled.

"Thank you, how do you know?"

"I just know." Sam smiled. Jack looked at her suspiciously. "Just go on." She giggled.

"So my father and I fought more, and I forced him to give me my keys to my car. He threw them at my face."

"The cuts." She whispered as she ran her finger over his nose.

"Yep, the cuts." He replied, reaching up to take her hand again.

"Your hands are soft." She giggled.

"That's my line." He chuckled.

"Then what happened?"

"Then I left. I saw Charlotte in the elevator. I begged her to come with me. She was so angry with me. I thought she was going to kill me. I was so upset. I begged her. I told her that I was going to go clean up, and then I was going to leave and I wanted her to come with me." Jack whispered. "I went upstairs and cleaned up, I changed into a pair of my father's scrubs and I visited my sister. She was in the hospital for evaluation, the twins are supposed to be born any day. I talked to her while she slept. I wanted to see her one last time before I left. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how. She didn't know about Matthew yet, and I didn't want to stress her and have her go into labor." Jack explained.

Sam remained silent as he told his story.

"Then I went downstairs and I waited a few minutes. I prayed that Charlotte would be down there, that she would meet me there. I told her that if she didn't meet me down there, then I would know that she doesn't love me. You know, it was my way of having her be able to free herself from me without having to see the pain in my eyes." Jack explained.

"She didn't show up." Sam said softly.

"Nope. She didn't show up…. She… she didn't…" Jack began to cry. "So I went to my parents house to get some of my things, and to kill what ever memory my father may have had of me." Jack cried.

"Kill the memory?"

"Yes. Squash it dead." Jack said, his face contorting to an angry sneer as he spoke those words.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, seeing the look on his face.

"Well, I went into the house and gathered my suitcase with some clothes. I threw as much stuff as I could into the couple of bags that I had and I brought them out to the car. When I opened my trunk I saw my baseball bat. Charlotte and I used to go to the batting cage now and again to pass the time, and it was there. I took the bat out and went into the house." Jack explained.

"What did you do?" Sam exclaimed.

"Growing up, I used to build these model boats. I had made one for my father for every Christmas, birthday, father's day since I was eight years old. There were so many boats. My father kept them in his study, and they were his most prized possessions." Jack said.

"You didn't." Sam said as she cringed, imagining what he was about to tell her.

"I did." I crushed each and every one with my baseball bat. I am serious Sam. I was so angry that I was lucky that a person didn't walk through that door. I probably would have smashed them too." Jack explained.

"You broke all of them?" Sam's eyebrows raised.

"Almost all of them. The only boat that my father doesn't keep in the open is the first one we built together. He keeps it locked in his cabinet under a glass case to protect it from dust. I unlocked the case and pulled it out and set it on my father's desk."

"Jack!" Sam gasped.

"I couldn't do it." Jack explained. "I couldn't. It wasn't mine to destroy. It wasn't my place to do that to him. I realized at that point that… you can't erase a memory. You can't control it. Just like I couldn't control the feelings that were running through my body and my mind, I wouldn't be able to control my father's memories, I couldn't erase myself. I stood there with the bat over my head. Poised to come crashing down on the innocent, fragile boat and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I realized right then and there, that I wasn't angry at my father. I was angry with myself. I hated myself."

"Jack…" Sam said, kissing his cheek.

"No, I did. I really seriously hated myself, and I didn't think that I would ever be able to find a place where I didn't feel that way about myself. Then I found you."

"I am pretty sure that I found you." Sam smiled.

"Ok, you found me. And I like that."

"I like that too." She said as she snuggled close to him. "I'm tired."

"Me too, let's get to bed, we've been talking for a while now." Jack said softly as he started to get up.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked with a sad face.

"We've got two beds, so that each one of us can have one. You don't want me over here with you. You know, I might take advantage or something." Jack said with a sly grin.

"No you won't, I wouldn't let you." She laughed. "Come lay with me. Sleep next to me, be with me, love me." Sam mumbled.

Jack gave her a bit of a smile as he shook his head, and slipped down to his boxers as he got ready for bed. He watched her watching him get undressed. "I'll sleep next to you, but you have to be a good girl."

"I'll be a good girl, I promise." Sam said as she slipped under the covers and patted the spot next to her and smiled. Jack turned the light off and walked over and climbed into the bed beside her. He covered himself with the blanket and pulled her into his arms. "Sweet dreams, Bubbles." She mumbled sleepily.

"Sweet dreams, Sammy." Jack replied as he began to drift off. Just as he was about asleep, he mumbled something.

"Huh?" Sam said softly, wondering if he was talking in his sleep.

"I said, cookies and cream." Jack replied. "You asked me what my favorite flavor of ice cream was." Jack said sleepily.

Sam smiled brighter and wrapped his arms completely around her body, completely melting into them. "You're perfect." She mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

Not long into the night, Sam could feel Jack shifting in his sleep, his head moving back and forth. She could hear him making grunting sounds as if he were upset as his leg swung and kicked her hard.

"Ow!" She shouted, not meaning to wake him up, but at the same time in excruciating pain.

"Ah!" Jack screamed sitting up. "Holy crap!" He shouted as he sit there, with his head in his hands. He looked over at Sam, and in the moonlight, he could see her looking up at him with a pained expression. "What happened?" He asked as he look over at her. "Are you okay?"

"You kicked me." She pouted as she reached up and touched his face. "Jack, you're really sweating and breathing hard, are you alright?" She asked, sitting up.

"Yeah… yeah… I'm fine." Jack said quickly as he brushed the sweat from his forehead and looked back over at Sam. "Are you alright? I kicked you. Does it hurt?" He asked, reaching over to touch her face. "I'm sorry."

Her face became poutier as she looked over at him. "No, I'm not alright… it hurts…" She mumbled in a faux pout. "Will you kiss it and make it better?" She asked looking up at him.

"Are you mocking me?" He asked, remembering the story that he had told her about his mother.

She tilted her head to the side. "No, I'm not mocking you, it really hurts, and I think the only thing that would make me feel better, is if you kiss it, since you're the one that kicked me."

"I see." Jack said as he pulled the blanket over his head and shifted down towards her legs. "Is this where I kicked?" He asked as he lovingly kissed her calf, eliciting a giggle from Sam.

"How about here?" He murmured as he moved his lips up her calf and placed a gentle kiss behind her knee.

"Mmm… no…" She mumbled as she wiggled under his embrace.

"Tell me when I get it." He whispered as he kissed the inside of her thigh.

"No…" She moaned softly. He replied by kissing her a little farther up her thigh. "No…" She moaned a little more forcefully, running her fingers through his hair. He moved his lips to the line where her panties met her leg. He played with the soft lace of the edge her panties with his tongue, and placed a gentle kiss where cotton and skin met. She moaned deeper and grabbed his head with her hands to stop him. "That's not even the leg you kicked, Jackson." She moaned as she pulled him up on top of her.

"Sneaky, sneaky girl…" Jack whispered as he crawled back towards the pillows. "I thought you promised that you would be a good girl tonight." He asked her as he moved to his side and encircled her body with his arms.

"I am a good girl. Don't you think I'm good? I think I'm really good." Sam replied, kissing his lips lightly.

"So good." Jack laughed.

Jack turned and looked into her eyes and frowned a little.

"What?" Sam asked, her eyes questioning. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, we should get back to sleep." He said as he snuggled into the blanket a little more and put his face down.

"Jack. Talk to me." She whispered.

"No, there's nothing to talk about." He said softly.

"Yes there is. Tell me what's on your mind, tell me what you're thinking about. I need to know, because if I don't know, then I'll feel out of the loop, and if I'm out of the loop, then I feel sad, and if I feel sad, then I feel out of the loop. It's a vicious cycle, Jackson." Sam said seriously.

Jack continued to look down, and when she finished her sentence, he looked up at her. "I get it, loop… cycle…" Jack said, with a sarcastic smile as he covered his head with the blanket.

"Tell me what your dream was about." Sam said, pulling the blanket over her head so that she could see him.

"Stop following me, you little follower." Jack said as he turned his back to her.

Sam moved closer to him and slipped her hand under his arm and encircled his waist. She gently placed her hand on his stomach and ran her fingers over his smooth skin. "Come on, Bubbles, tell me what is on your mind." She said as she let her fingers travel to the waist band of his boxers. She rubbed the edge of the waistband and ran her fingers along the edge, slipping her thumb just below, playing with the waistband.

"If you're going to touch me there, please don't call me Bubbles." Jack said seriously as he turned his head to look over his shoulder as she gently laid her cheek against his back.

"Tell me, what your dream was about, Jack. Please?" She asked softly as she slid her hand up his stomach and gently ran her fingers over his body, giving him a tingling sensation, making him catch his breath.

"I don't want to tell, I don't want to think about it." He said with a sigh. He said as he turned and looked at her under the covers, her hand ending up on his stomach. "Stop that." He whispered.

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're trying to read me, like you're trying to tell what I'm thinking just by looking into my eyes."

"If you can't stand looking into my eyes, then stop looking into my eyes." Sam smiled.

"I can't. You have beautiful eyes." Jack whispered. "Tell me what you see, Sammy. Tell me what you see when you look into my eyes." He said softly.

"Well, its kind of dark right now." She giggled.

"My eyes?"

"Everything… we're under the covers, Jack."

"You're such a smart ass." Jack laughed. "Tell me what you usually see. You don't know me, you're just judging me by how I act. Who do you think I am, what do you think I was dreaming about?" He asked, his voice becoming soft as he explored her face with his fingertips.

"Honestly?" She asked with a sigh. "I think that you are lost, Jack."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where I am. I am right here in Adrian, Michigan, with you, in this hotel room, under these covers." He said quietly as he let out a small chuckle.

"You know what I meant." She replied, giving his stomach a light pinch.

"Ow, that hurt… why did you have to go do that?"

"Do you want me to tell you what I see or not?"

"Ok, sorry. Yes, please go on." He said as he shifted his body so that he could look at her

Sam sighed again and moved her hand up to his face. "When I look into your eyes, I see this sad, confused person who looks lost. Like you're trying to find your place in this world and you're not sure which path to follow. And, that scares you, I can tell. It haunts your dreams." She said softly as she lightly traced her fingertips against his cheek.

"But, underneath all of that fear, and sadness, and confusion, I see kindness and compassion and an innocence that takes my breath away." She whispered softly. "This is your life, Jack. You only get one chance to live it. Don't live it in sadness or fear. Your life can be so much more than that, if you just let it."

Her words sank into his soul and he felt a lump forming in his throat. "I don't know how." Jack replied with a sigh, his mouth suddenly dry as he stared into her sparkling eyes.

"Please, show me." He whispered as a tear slipped down his cheek.

Sam leaned in and kissed the side of his jaw, right where his tear came to a rest. She could taste the salty tear on her lips as she closed her eyes and let her lips linger on his skin. He brought his hand up to cover hers as he turned his head and caught her lips with his own.

His tongue slid into her mouth with ease and he cupped her face with his hands, letting his thumb caress the smooth skin of her jawline. He deepened the kiss as she slipped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer to her.

The kiss became more intense and their legs tangled together, a moan escaping from Jack's throat as he moved to pull her underneath him. Her hands left his neck and found the hem of his t-shirt and she slid her hands underneath, her fingertips feathering his back as she pulled the shirt farther up. He broke the kiss and sat up a little as she pulled his shirt over his head.

With his t-shirt discarded, he collapsed back down on top of her, gazing into her eyes.

"What?" She whispered as she looked up at him, his eyes danced over her face as he let his gaze wander over her delicate features.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

They smiled at one another as he slid his fingers underneath her shirt and made small circles against her stomach. He gave her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose before moving his face down and kissing her stomach, goosebumps erupting over her skin. He quickly lifted her shirt up and slowly slid it off, exposing her breasts. He kissed her lips again as he wrapped his arms around her, their exposed skin pressed together in a warm embrace.

"Jack?" She whispered as she pulled her lips away from his.

"Hmm?" He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her flowery scent.

"Jack, look at me." She whispered.

He raised his head up and looked directly into her eyes. She held his gaze for a few moments, the intense desire building inside of both of them as they expressed each emotion coursing through their bodies, with just one look.

He gave her a smile so dreamy that it melted her heart and the fear and confusion that was once clouding his vision, disappeared before her very eyes. She returned his smile, and they knew. They knew that this was right. This was perfect.

He kissed her again. This time, the kiss was slow and deep. He took his time and savored every moment as they slowly removed the rest of each other's clothes.

His fingertips traced a light line from her leg, over her stomach and up her side and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he began to make love to her, softly, slowly, and tenderly.

"Oh, Sam." He whispered into her ear as he savored the feeling of his body moving in rhythm with hers.

"Jack." His name spilled out over her lips in a breathless whisper.

Their lips crashed together again and their bodies melted together, with a passion and a feeling so perfect, that they both knew they would never forget for as long as they lived.

3:00 AM-

Jack turned into the familiar driveway and sighed heavily as he pulled up to the house. He closed his eyes as he put the car into park and he looked at the darkened windows.

"Why do I do this to myself, Sammy?" He asked the sleepy dog in the passenger seat next to him. "I need to do this." He whispered. Samirah looked up at him. "Don't look at me like that, I know its three in the morning. I just need to see them, make sure this is real. I'm afraid to pinch myself." He whispered as he opened the door to the car. He looked inside, and Samirah remained on the seat.

"Are you coming with me, or are you going to sit in the car and not support me?" He asked. Samirah jumped up and climbed out of the car. "That's what I thought." He said with a chuckle as he walked toward his parent's front door, and unlocked it. He sighed as he stepped into the hallway and took his shoes off.

"Sammy, you stay here. I'm going to have to do this part alone." He whispered as he pointed to her dog bed beside the couch. "I can do this." He whispered to her, and with that she turned and walked to the bed, laying down, she watched as he slowly ascended the stairs.

Jack walked up the stairs, avoiding the squeaky parts of the steps, just as he had when he was a boy. He walked slowly down the hallway and passed his parent's room, thankful that the door was closed. He passed by Katie's old room and walked slowly down to where his bedroom was. He looked at the door, as he stood on the outside of it, he put his hand against the cool wood and could feel the little markings on the wood where he had placed colorful stickers, that his father had told him not to put on it, and the holes where his mother had carefully placed the little wooden sign that he had made for his door, that said "Jack's Room." He closed his eyes as he stared at the wood, and he gently leaned his head on the door, as he reached for the doorknob.

Quietly, he turned the doorknob to his bedroom. He paused for a moment before opening it, not exactly sure of what he would find on the other side. He prayed that she was asleep, and that him entering the room wouldn't wake her up.

He opened the door slowly, and could see that the moonlight was gracefully coming in through the window, dancing off the wooden floor boards and mess of blankets on the bed.

Suddenly, Jack's face was hit with the bright beam from a flashlight. He raised his hand up to block out the light, and listened to the tiny voice that came from behind it. "Are… are… are you a monster?" The tiny voice asked as it continued to shine the flashlight in Jack's eyes.

Jack stood there for a second, frozen where he stood. This was not what he had expected, and he had to think quickly if he was going to do this right. "Nope." He said with a smile. "I'm not a monster." Jack whispered.

"No?" Adrian asked, as he kept the flashlight on Jack's face. "How do I know?" His voice whispered.

"Because if I were a monster, then I would have disappeared when the light hit me. Didn't your mommy teach you that?" Jack asked.

"No." He whispered.

"Can I come over there?" He asked, before approaching.

"Yes, but shh… mama is sleeping." He whispered, looking over at Sam, who was snuggled tightly into her own blanket, her eyes closed tightly with a small smile on her face as she slept.

"Yeah, we don't want to wake up mama." Jack said as he slowly approached the bed. He looked down at Sam, sleeping so peacefully, a strand of hair lay across her cheek. He resisted the urge to reach out and tuck it lightly behind her ear. "Your mama sleeps pretty, doesn't she?" Jack whispered, looking down at her in adoration.

"Yes…" Adrian whispered and nodded "She's the prettiest mommy ever." Adrian said, looking at his mother with his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. He looked at Jack, who sat down beside the bed and crossed his legs as he moved closer to the bed. "Sorry I hit you with my laser, mister." Adrian whispered. "Who are you?" He asked, tilting his head slightly as he lay on his tummy and talked down towards Jack.

"My name is Jack." He said, holding out his hand to Adrian, who slapped it lightly and smiled.

"Jack? That's the name of my puppy!" He whispered as he pulled out floppy stuffed dog from under his pillow and handed it to Jack.

"Really? That's the name of your puppy?" Jack asked as he gently took the floppy dog from the boy's hand. He immediately recognized it, and smiled a shy smile. "He's a really great puppy, isn't he?" Jack asked as he handed the toy back.

Adrian nodded happily as he watched Jack. "My name's Adrian." He whispered.

"Its nice to meet you, Adrian." Jack said as he smiled at the little boy's happiness. "Why aren't you sleeping yet? It's pretty late, you know." Jack whispered.

"I'm scared. This house is different than my house, there's lots of sounds and lots of people." Adrian said, his eyes becoming concerned.

"I understand. New places make me scared too." Jack whispered.

"Really?" Adrian asked, happy to have something in common with his new friend.

"Yup. And do you know what I do when I can't sleep?"

"Um… what?" Adrian whispered.

"I go downstairs, and get myself a nice cup of chocolate milk, and when I'm all done with that, I'm not nervous anymore, my tummy is full, and then I can go back to sleep." Jack whispered, as touched the little boy's nose.

"Chocolate milk?" Adrian whispered as he giggled.

"Yep. Would you like to come downstairs and have some chocolate milk with me?" Jack asked, reaching out for the little boy's hand.

Adrian looked at Jack's hand, and turned his head to look at Sam, he turned back to Jack and smiled brightly. "Sure!" He said a little louder than he should have. He covered his mouth and his eyes became wide as both he and Jack looked over at Sam. They both let out a sigh of relief when she didn't even flinch.

Jack held his finger to his lips and took the little boy's hand as he slid out of the bed. Adrian walked towards the door and turned around. "Aren't you coming?" He whispered, seeing Jack still sitting beside the bed watching him as he opened the door.

"I need a hug first." Jack whispered. "I can't go anywhere without a hug." He said as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Silly Jack." Adrian said as he walked to him. "I have lots of hugs." He whispered as he crawled into Jack's lap and reached his arms up to wrap around Jack's neck, and gave him a big hug, as Jack wrapped his arms around his son and held him in his embrace for the first time. It felt warm and comforting, and when he breathed in the moment, he had to resist the urge to cry.

Jack shifted and looked down at Sam one more time before standing up and taking Adrian's hand. The two of them walked out into the hallway and Jack stopped them as they carefully closed the door. "Adrian, wait a second." Jack whispered.

Adrian stopped and looked up at Jack as he made sure that the door was closed. He crouched down to Adrian's level so that he could whisper in his ear. "Follow me, the floor is really squeaky, and we don't want to wake anyone up. Step where my feet step, and we can get downstairs as quiet as a mouse." Jack whispered in his ear.

Adrian smiled and nodded. He watched Jack take one step, and took a step to match it. Jack turned his head to watch him carefully take a step in his slipper pajamas, look up at Jack and smile. Jack took another step and turned to see if Adrian had followed. They walked like that until Jack got to the stairs. Jack turned to watch Adrian hop across the floor as he ended up at the top of the stairs next to Jack.

He looked up at Jack, and then looked down the stairs. "Those look tricky, Jack." He whispered.

"Let's do this the easy way." Jack whispered back. He reached down and took the little boy into his arms, and quickly descended the stairs, not making a sound. "See, quiet as a mouse."

Adrian looked at Jack and smiled. "Squeak." He said in a tiny voice, and giggled.

Jack looked at his silly smile and laughed. "Very funny." He laughed. "Let's go get that chocolate milk." Jack said, holding up his hand to Adrian. Adrian gave him a high five, and Jack carried Adrian into the kitchen.

Jack walked into the kitchen and set Adrian on one of the stools at the counter. He walked over to the cupboard and opened the door. "Big cup, or little cup?" Jack asked looking over at Adrian.

"Huge cup!" Adrian said as he held his arms out wide.

"Big cup it is." Jack laughed as he pulled two cups down from the cupboard and set it down on the counter in front of Adrian. He went to the refrigerator and got the container of chocolate milk out and poured each of them a glass, making faces at Adrian the whole time as he did it, making him giggle. He sat across from Adrian on another stool, and slid his glass over to him gently. He smiled as Adrian sipped the chocolate milk. "Are you feeling better?" Jack asked.

"Much better, thanks Jack." Adrian smiled, his chocolate milk mustache evident.

"Not a problem." Jack replied as he took a sip of his chocolate milk.

"You lived here in this big house?" Adrian asked, looking around.

"Yup, you're sleeping up in my old room. I used to sleep in there when I was a little boy."

"Really?" Adrian asked, excitedly.

"Yup, and no monsters ever got me." Jack laughed. "How is that chocolate milk?"

"Yummy in my tummy." Adrian said with a giggle as he rubbed his belly.

"I noticed that you have trains on your pajamas, do you like trains?" Jack asked.

Adrian looked down at his pajamas and pointed at the train. "Yes, there is the engine, and um… there's the caboose, and there's the train driver." He explained as he pointed to his pajamas. "Do you like trains, Jack?"

"I love trains." Jack said happily. "I used to have a model train, a little train on the track that my mommy would set up around the Christmas tree at Christmas time, and when Santa would come, he would put presents in the little train cars, and it would go around and around the Christmas tree."

"Really? Wow!" Adrian giggled as he took another sip of chocolate milk. "Can I see it, Jacks? Can I see your train?"

"Maybe in the morning, after you wake up. When I come over, I'll show it to you."

"Really? I can't wait! I wanna go to bed, so then tomorrow I can see the train!" Adrian said excitedly as he turned in his stool and looked towards the door. Suddenly, he got a look of fear on his face and began to make a little whining sound as he stared toward the door.

"What is it, Adrian?" he asked as he began to get nervous. He stood up and looked where Adrian was looking. Samirah had ventured into the kitchen and was standing just inside the doorway.

"There's a doggy in here, Jack!" He said nervously as he pointed at Samirah.

"Yup. That's Samirah." Jack said as he walked over beside Adrian. Adrian grabbed hold of Jack tightly.

"Make him go away." Adrian said nervously as he turned his head away from Samirah and buried his head into Jack's body.

"She won't hurt you, Squeak." Jack said softly. "She's a good girl." Jack said softly.

"I'm scared, Jack, make him go away." Adrian said again.

"Adrian, watch this. Watch the doggy." Jack said softly. "You can hold onto me, I'll make sure she doesn't come over here, just watch, ok?"

"Ok." Adrian said as he turned his head to look at Samirah, still holding tightly to Jack.

"Sit, Sammy." Jack said softly. Samirah sat and watched Jack curiously. "See that, Squeak? I got her to sit. Do you want to see other tricks that she does?"

"Uh huh." Adrian answered as he continued to hold tightly to Jack.

"Ok, Sammy… lay down." Jack instructed. Samirah lay down and watched Jack. "Sammy, roll over." Jack said as he turned his finger in a circle. Samirah did as instructed and rolled over.

"He rolled over when you said to!" Adrian said excitedly as he loosened his grip on Jack and smiled at the trick.

"Yep, she can do a lot of other things too." Jack said with a smile.

"Really?" Adrian asked excitedly as he looked up at Jack.

"Yep, really. Would you like to pet her?"

"Um… no, its ok." Adrian declined. "Make her do another trick, Jack!" Adrian said excitedly.

"Ok. But you have to let go of me, Squeak." Jack said softly.

"Ok. Just don't play too rough, don't wanna get hurt." Adrian instructed.

"Your mommy coddles you." He chuckled. "Watch this." Jack said as he stood beside Samirah. "Sit, Sammy." Jack said, waiting for her to sit. "Are you watching, Squeak?" He asked as he looked up.

"Yep!" He giggled from his chair as he leaned up to watch.

Jack stood up and held out his hand. "High five, Sammy!" He exclaimed as he held out his hand.

Samirah went up on her hind legs and smacked Jack's hand with her paw, and landed back down on all fours.

"Wow! Sammy can do lots of tricks!" Adrian said, amazed.

"She sure can… Ok, one last trick, I'll show you that she is very gentle." Jack said as he walked over to the refrigerator. He took out a piece of cheese and took a little corner of it. "Watch this." Jack said as he lay down on the floor. He gently placed the piece of cheese on his nose and smiled up at Adrian, who was looking down at him in amusement. He closed his eyes, and Samirah walked over and ate the piece of cheese off his nose, and proceeded to lick his face. He could hear Adrian giggle, and he laughed out loud.

"Do you kiss your mother with those dog kissed lips?" He was suddenly startled by the sound of Sam's giggling voice. He stopped laughing and sat up quickly, slamming his head on the corner of the counter.

"Ow!" He exclaimed. "Son of a…." He yelped as he grabbed his head and stomped around the room grimacing, trying not to shout.

"Jack?" Sam said, concerned as she tried to grab his head to check it. "Jack, stay still!" Sam said.

"I told you not to play rough, Jack!" Adrian giggled.

"Ow ow ow!" Jack exclaimed, still pacing around the room. Sam followed him, trying to get a look at his head. Finally he stopped and shook his head, looking at Adrian.

"Mommy! Kiss it and make it better, Mommy… make Jack better." Adrian insisted.

"Here, let me see that." Sam said as she rubbed his head lightly. "You'll be fine." She said softly as she continued to rub his head, checking for bleeding and bumps.

"Never, ever, ever... startle someone doing a trick…" Jack groaned as he held his head.

"Mommy, kiss it to make it better… It hurts him, mommy." Adrian said quickly, concerned about Jack.

"I'm ok, I'm ok…" Jack said as he rubbed his head, looking over at Adrian.

"No, mommy HAS to kiss it and make it better!" Adrian said, pointing at Sam. "Make Jack better, mommy!" Adrian insisted.

"Fine. Come here." Sam said, taking his arm.

"No, you can't." Jack said, pulling his arm away.

"Don't be grumpy, the doctor said you needed a kiss." Sam said. "Put your head down here." Sam insisted, holding her hands out.

"Fine…" Jack said as he stopped rubbing his head and put his head down close to her.

Sam reached down and kissed his head lightly. "There, all better, right Jack?" Sam asked, looking over at Adrian.

Jack looked up and looked at Adrian. "Right… all better…Sam." Jack said softly as his eyes finally met with hers.

They stood staring at one another for several seconds until Sam was pulled back into reality by Adrian pulling on her arm. "Mommy.. mommy… mommy…" He said as he pulled on her arm over and over.

"Huh? Oh…. Sweetie, what is it?" Sam asked as she brought her attention back to Adrian.

"That's Jack!" He pointed at Jack with a big smile. "He's my new friend."

"Jack… yep…"

"Aren't you going to say hi to Jack, mommy?"

"I kissed Jack's head, isn't that better than saying hi?" Sam laughed.

"No, you have to say hi to be polite."

Sam looked up at Jack and smiled. "Hi, Jack."

"Now slap his hand, mommy, that's what we did." Adrian said, as he grabs Sam's hand and holds it out to Jack.

"No, no… it's ok…" Jack laughed, watching as Sam became a little uncomfortable.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Sam asked, looking between the two boys.

"Dinner time?" Adrian asked, looking at Sam questioningly.

"It's after three o'clock in the morning, and you two are down here getting a sugar high and playing with the dog." Sam scolded, though mildly amused.

"We were scared, mommy." Adrian said, his lip sticking out as he looked to Jack for support.

"Yeah, we were scared, mommy. This house is big and scary and unfamiliar. We were having a little bit of chocolate milk to make ourselves feel better." Jack explained, a playful smile on his face as he winked at Adrian.

Adrian giggled and held his glass up to Sam. "Want some?"

"No, I probably shouldn't…" Sam said as she looked at the glass.

"Too bad, you're down here, its in the middle of the night, you drink chocolate milk, right Squeak?"

"Right!" Adrian said with a giggle.

"Squeak?" Sam asked, confused.

"Its his nickname. They don't have nicknames in Boston?" Jack asked as he set two glasses down on the counter.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Those are shot glasses."

"So?"

"I'm not drinking chocolate milk out of a shot glass."

"That's all we have."

"I saw other glasses!"

"That's all we have for you." Jack chuckled as he poured chocolate milk in each shot glass and handed one to Sam.

"You want to have chocolate milk shots with me?" Sam asked as she held the shot glass firmly in her hand as she watched his eyes dance in amusement as he watched her.

"Is there a problem with that?" Jack asked, holding his shot glass up. "Two old friends connected by a common bond." Jack said, nodding towards Adrian. "Hanging out and drinking together. I don't see any problem with that, do you?"

"No." Sam replied shyly as they drank from their shot glasses at the same time, never losing eye contact. She looked at her glass curiously and then back up at Jack. "What? No chaser?" She asked.

"I ask you Miss Grossman, would a chaser be appropriate under the circumstances?" Jack asked as he poured them both another shot of chocolate milk.

"I don't suppose it would, Mr. Shepherd, especially considering that the bartender has other plans." She said with a smile.

"I suppose that rings true, Miss Grossman." Jack chuckled as he held up his shot glass. They clinked shot glasses and drank their chocolate milk, smiling at one another.

Adrian watched as the two of them acted as if they were the only people in the room, their eyes never left one another's as Sam leaned on the counter and Jack sat in the stool across from them.

"So, Mister 'Shepherd'…" Sam said softly. "What have you been doing with yourself lately… I mean, besides contributing to the delinquency of a minor." She said, nodding towards Adrian.

"What do you mean? He followed me. He's a little follower. Takes after his mother." Jack chuckled as he poured her another shot of chocolate milk. "Goes down easy, doesn't it?"

"Like water." Sam says as she drinks the shot. "Its nice to see you." She said, noting that familiar glint in his eyes, she was relieved that all of the anger from earlier seemed to be gone.

"Its nice to see you." Jack smiled.

"Mommy, I'm getting tired." Adrian said as he rubbed his eyes and looked up at Sam, leaning his head against her arm.

"Well you should be tired, all this partying until all hours of the night is finally getting to you, huh?" She asked as she lifted him from his stool. "You need to get back to bed, little boy."

"I want Jack to come too, he's my new friend, I don't want him to leave." Adrian mumbled as he put his head on her shoulder, reaching out for Jack.

"Its time for the chocolate milk bar to close, Squeak. Time for you to get to sleep." Jack said as he gathered the glasses and put the chocolate milk in the refrigerator. "I'll be back tomorrow." He said softly as he approached them. He took Adrian's hand and smiled as Adrian pulled him closer.

"Are we going to see the trains tomorrow?" Adrian whispered loudly.

"We can, but you have to sleep first." Jack whispered back.

"Can you tuck me and mommy in before you go?" Adrian whispered.

Jack looked up at Sam, who was watching the exchange with happiness. "I don't think that mommy wants me to tuck you both in." Jack whispered.

"Can you just tuck me in then?" Adrian responded, still not releasing Jack's hand.

Jack looked back up at Sam and she nodded. "I can do that." He whispered.

Adrian held both of his hands out to Jack. "Let's be quiet like a mouse." He said, as Sam allowed Jack to take Adrian from her arms.

Jack lifted the little boy into his arms and carried him towards the stairs, Sam followed close behind. "Wait." Adrian whispered.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Mommy." He said, looking over Jack's shoulders to Sam. She looked at him questioningly. "Follow Jack's feet. Be quiet as a mouse. Squeak." He giggled.

Sam covered her mouth and laughed and the three of them snuck up to the bedroom, as quiet as a mouse.

Jack entered the room quietly, holding Adrian tightly in his arms as Sam followed them inside. He gently lay the little boy in the bed and pulled the blankets to cover him. Sam stood nearby, watching as he crouched down beside the bed and carefully ran his fingers through the little boy's fine hair and watched as Adrian's eyes fluttered in sleepiness.

"We did it Jack." Adrian whispered as he cuddled with his little stuffed dog.

"What did we do, Squeak?" Jack asked.

"We made it up here, quiet as a mouse." He whispered back as he closed his eyes.

"Yep, quiet as a mouse." Jack whispered. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams." He whispered as Jack watched him drift off to sleep. Jack hadn't realized how long he had been standing there, when he was surprised by Sam's hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, and stood up.

"You should probably be getting home." Sam said softly as she tugged his arm, pulling him away from the bed.

"Yeah…" Jack whispered. "I should probably be getting home." He repeated.

"It was nice to see you, Jack." Sam whispered.

"It was nice to see you, Sam." Jack whispered back.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked, tilting her head in question.

"Yeah… yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." He said, watching her as she walked towards the bed.

"Sam?" He whispered softly.

"Jack?"

"Is that my shirt… that you're wearing? My lucky blue shirt?" He asked as he turned, pointing at the men's shirt she was wearing.

"No Jack… this is my lucky blue shirt." She smiled as she climbed into the bed beside Adrian. "Sweet dreams, Jack."

"Sweet dreams, Sammy." Jack said as he quietly slipped out the door with Samirah, sneaking out of the house as quietly as he had snuck in.

4:00 AM-

Jack quietly entered his apartment and kicked off his shoes. Samirah followed him inside, and went into the bedroom. He pulled off his shirt and walked into the bedroom behind her. He sat quietly in the chair next to the bed and watched Charlotte sleeping for a while, as he had every night for the past three weeks. She lay curled into a ball like a kitten, her hand on her pillow, a book beside her on the bed. He lifted the book up, and carefully placed it on the bedside table.

"I don't know, Char. I just don't know. I thought I had everything figured out." He whispered. "You know… I wish I wasn't such a chicken, Char. I wish that I wasn't such a coward." He whispered.

"I bought you a ring, you know. I bought it a month ago. I bought it, and ever since I gave that money to the person at the jewelry store, I have had nothing but constant worry on my mind." He whispered. "I love you so much, you're my best friend… you have always been my best friend. I appreciate you for so many things." He said as he stretched out on the chair and looked at the ceiling.

"I don't treat you right, Char. I don't think I ever have… we have always kept things from one another, we don't know how to communicate. I mean… look at me… I'm sitting here at four o'clock in the morning, talking to my sleeping girlfriend because I'm too chicken to talk to her when she's awake. I'm so stupid."

"We never talk, we never actually just sit down and talk. I hate that. I really, really hate that I can't talk about my feelings to you. I'm sure you'd listen… though… you do have a tendency of throwing my feelings in my face when we have an argument. I want to make sure… that when I give you that ring, when I ask you to marry me… that I deserve you, and right now I don't deserve anyone. I wanted to sleep next to you tonight, before I yelled at you… I wanted to sleep next to you, but you probably don't want me to now… I want to try to talk, we need to talk… there are so many things that I have to tell you, so many things that I need you to know before I ask you that one question. It has always been on my mind, it has always been something that I have needed to tell you. I hope that you don't judge me, I hope that you don't hate me, you're my best friend. I love you, Charlotte." Jack whispered as he closed his eyes.

"Jacks…" Charlotte muttered in a sleepy growl. "Just come to bed." She said as she opened her eyes.

"Hey, you're awake…" He said softly as he sat up, reached out and touched her cheek.

"Jacks… Go to sleep." She mumbled as she reached up and grabbed his hand. He came willingly and lay down with his arm draped around her. "What were you mumbling about over there?"

"Nothing, Char… we'll talk about it soon. I'm sorry." He whispered as he kissed her behind her ear.

"Better be." She muttered as she snuggled harder into his embrace.