Note: A Jack Spicer central Xiaolin Showdown fan fiction. Ever wondered how Jack spends his time when he's not engaging in a Xiaolin Showdown, showing off to Kimiko or being lectured (more like yelled at) by Wuya ?

Entry 1, Genius' Personal Datalog

I, Jack Spicer, have just suffered through another crappy day. Although I have finished my homework and tinkered around with my many inventions in the laboratory, they still have some kinks to be worked out of them. I recently had my butt handed to me on a platter by none other than the WuLin warriors. Truthfully, that sucks. But I don't let it depress me. I don't have time to be depressed, despite my sensitive, artistic nature. But, anyway, I digress. To restate, my day has been horrible. My cousin came to visit and she forced me to have a tea party with her. If that isn't so bad, my parents had another stupid business party and were schmoozing with their bigwig corporate friends. I could overhear them talking about their "weird" son, which I resent. I am not weird, nor am I peculiar or odd. I am a genius...Get it right, people. To add onto that, Wuya gave me this lengthy lecture about how I should really get to work on my latest robots and make absolutely certain they no longer have bugs in them. So, that is what I have been doing for the rest of the day all the while being yelled at by Wuya. I have been working until the devil's hour just to impress Chase and become his lackey, because as villains such as myself know, evil is as evil does...And I am most assuredly malicious. That's the last nut and bolt I am going to tighten for today...Tomorrow comes testing my wonderous machines.

But for now, I am going to get some shut-eye.

Entry 2, Genius' Personal Datalog

Maybe I was a little proactive when it came to fixing the glitches in my robots' CPU systems. Luck doesn't seem to be on my side this week. But that doesn't mean I am a quitter, ooooooh, nooooo Sir ! I give it another try, ignoring Wuya's ranting. That woman doesn't realize just how hard it is to repair these robots sometimes. They're highly sophisticated machinery and until I find a self-repairing CPU or something (which sounds highly improbable, only possible or plausible in the world of science fiction) I will have to do repairs. I am one genius who doesn't mind getting her hands dirty. I discovered that even ghosts can smell perspiration though. Wuya was begging me to get a bath after I completed my latest robot models. That was one part of my day's work. The rest of the day was spent looking for new ShenGongWu. Sometimes looking for ShenGongWu was just an empty gesture, but not today.

Unfortunately, I had gotten to the Jade Sword one second later than the WuLin losers, but I challenged them to a Xiaolin Showdown and defeated them gracefully without even breaking a sweat. It seemed that with my work in the laboratory had increased my strength and dexterity.

If anything I hoped that my newfound muscular physique would impress Kimiko. Sadly, Kimiko has been a little distant from me recently and I am not certain why. Damn it all, Wuya is shrieking at me again. She says, "Uncover the mystery of the Jade Sword ! I don't have all eternity. Well, actually I do, but I don't want to spend it with you !" I'm really not a procrastinator, I'm just unsure as to how to activate the stupid piece of crap ! This will have to wait until tomorrow. For now I need rest. Sometimes Wuya forgets that unlike her human beings need to recharge at night.

Entry 3, Genius' Personal Datalog

After doing everything but poke the darned Jade Sword, and I swung it violently. It seemed to be an Earth Elemental because it tore up most of the top of the building I had been "testing" the sword on. I was grateful I wasn't in my laboratory but I knew I had to take precautions since I didn't know how the Jade Sword functioned actually. I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to use this toward my advantage but another matter was on my mind and that was Kimiko. I had a date with her. No one was going to ruin this upcoming roundezvous with my lovely Lotus blossom. I would try to uncover the mystery of why she was being so distant recently. I bought her a birthday and anniversary just in case that was what she was angry about.

Evening Around 6:00 PM

I am on time and Kimiko was looking even more beautiful than ever, if that were possible.

I was able to talk to her and she confessed that she felt that the rift between us could never be erradicated but, I would always love her. She said I was right on the money when it came to remembering her birthday and the anniversary of our first meeting and confession of love. I had remembered everything despite how busy I had been. She kissed me goodnight and I wished the moment could last forever. For a moment, I wished I wasn't an evil genius if it meant I could be with her for the rest of my life. Fate can be so cruel.

Entry 4, Genius' Personal Datalog

Vacation ? What the hell ? I wasn't expecting this. My parents just make a crazy split second decision to go somewhere I would rather not go to. I have more important things to do...like figuring out a plan for world domination. Sometimes fate has a funny way of twisting matters around but I went ahead to nowheresville USA for a few days before I return to possibly use my Jade Sword against those Xiaolin losers...Kimiko not included.

Believe it or not, Chase Young happened to be in the same area that I was. I told him I had collected the Jade Sword. This dude is so stoic, nothing can ever make him crack a smile except for pain, destruction and people screaming in anguish. I wanted to prove himself in his eyes but I was beginning to think I was more of a nuisance to him than an aide to his evil plot, which was similar to mine. This didn't matter to me, however...because I still idolized him.

I hoped to be just like him someday and have my name in the villains hall of fame. Even if this didn't happen, I would live out the rest of my days blissfully happy with Kimiko by my side.

That is, if she would say "yes" to my proposition someday.

Entry 5, Genius' Personal Datalog

About ready to die of boredom but my parents are loving this unappealing place. At least by the weekend I will be out of here. Wuya didn't go along with me and she stayed at home doing I have no idea what. For once I am glad because I didn't have to listen to her occursed wailing, bellowing and bantering monologue. All she could do is give me negative criticizm, but I'm her loyal toadie. Whatever she wants me to accomplish, I will try my best to do.

Entry 6, Genius' Personal Datalog

Back home again, oh glory, hallelujah. Home sweet home and not a moment too soon. Mom and Dad got off my back and I did my stupid chores like they wanted me to and went back to work in the lab. Just then, Wuya sensed ShenGongWu once more...Showtime.

I lost the freaking Jade Sword. I knew it wouldn't last long. At least I didn't wager something I thought I would need in a future Xiaolin Showdown. I received the verbal bashing of my life, which was something I didn't need but it was something I had grown used to. Despite all of this I didn't feel as if I had lost. I had learned a lesson and learned what to avoid and how to fight the battle in a more tactical manner. See, the mind of a genius is always evolving at the rate a situation does...in real time.

Thank Goodness the weekend is coming soon. This is the only time I don't have to worry about Xiaolin Showdowns. It was the only time I could stay in bed, watch cartoons and vedge out, just taking it easy. If only there were more weekends during the week. My life might not be so fabulous, nor may it be glamourous, but it is my vision to see the world under my control someday. And although it may not happen, seeing that my plans are always foiled and I'm usually defeated horribly I can safely say with confidence that I don't mind living the rest of my life as an inventor that has a lovely wife behind him, supporting his latest idea to help humanity.

This may not happen for a number of years, but until that day I hold my ultimate goal in constant view...and you know what that is. World domination ! Mwahahahah ! Forgive me, but I had to write out the evil laughter there, just to make it authentic.

Property of Jack Spicer

Those Who Touch Shall Be Shot...Out of a cannon into a brick wall

So be warned.

July 5, 2006